Page 35 of Tate (The Montana Marshalls #2)

She nodded, and as she got on the horse, as she settled her arms around his waist, her body against his, she couldn’t help but wish that she might be a different girl.

“What do you mean, you’re not going to the CMGs?” Kelsey held a serving plate, wiping it with a towel, and looked at Glo like she’d just suggested she might move to Canada and take up dogsledding. “We have to go—we’re up for an award.”

“Can’t we just…you know, videotape something?

” Glo set the punch bowl she’d just cleaned on the granite counter.

Overhead lights spilled across the great room of the lodge, now quiet as the guests had left.

Knox was flying Reuben and Gilly off to Helena to catch a plane for their honeymoon to Hawaii.

Tate folded up a chair and carried it and two others to a stack in the corner, in the process of arranging the living room back into its normal state.

Ford had left earlier with Scarlett—Glo noticed them sneaking out of the house.

She didn’t blame them—she’d wanted to sneak out of the house and clear her head of all the romance in the room.

Knox and Kelsey had spent the evening dancing, the man leaning down to whisper into her ear something that turned Kelsey a little pink.

And of course Gilly and Reuben—to look at a man like Gilly did and know he wouldn’t walk away with your heart…

Yeah, way too much romance because Glo’s gaze had more than once fallen on Tate, the way he cleaned up in a suitcoat, jeans, his cowboy boots, and a fresh shave.

The man could break hearts in a pair of joggers and a T-shirt, but this attire had him at his best—the aura of tough cowboy emanating off him like a country song.

Too bad it also reminded her of his regular gig—standing in the shadows, watching her throw herself at Sloan. She’d lost her appetite after that image emerged and hung around too long in her brain.

Until Tate had found her, pulled her into his arms on the dance floor, and made her believe all was forgiven.

She never wanted to leave the Marshall Triple M. Not if it meant returning to the mess she’d left in Nashville.

“My mother has a political event in Atlanta that day, and she can’t spare the security staff,” she said now to Kelsey, ruing the fact she’d opened her big mouth.

“The CMGs have their own security. And we have Tate.”

“How much danger is there?” Gerri handed Glo a rinsed china plate.

She’d insisted on washing the heirloom china by hand and Glo had offered to help.

Please, give her something to do before she did something dangerous and overwhelming and walked out into the starlight with Tate and lost herself forever.

It was probably too late, anyway.

In the back of her mind, she couldn’t get past the story of Tate walking into an ambush.

Of him hiding under the bodies of his brothers and a twelve-year old boy.

Sneaking out at night with a broken body and hiding in the wilderness.

The way he’d told his story, too, so detached, his voice almost cold in the retelling… she’d been quietly weeping.

He’d been betrayed by someone he trusted, a child, and it cost him in a way she might never understand.

It had made her want to fix it, to soothe away the memory.

But he hadn’t talked about it further when she’d finally come inside.

Just taken her in his arms and kissed her like she might be nourishment.

“I don’t know, really,” Glo said in answer to Gerri’s question. “Enough that Tate didn’t want to let anyone else protect me this weekend.”

Gerri laughed as she washed another plate. “Oh, honey, that’s not why Tate brought you back here.”

Kelsey was grinning too.

“What?” Glo asked. She put the dried plate on a stack.

“You’re good for him,” Gerri said, handing her another plate.

“Even he knows that.” She turned back to the sink.

“When he came home from Afghanistan broken, healing from his wounds, he was so dark. He didn’t speak for days sometimes, and then when he got better, he started going out to the shooting range on the edge of the property and he’d spend hours there.

And when he wasn’t shooting, he was in therapy or working out.

As if he could sweat away the demons inside. ”

Glo looked over at him, across the room. He was stacking folding chairs, his jacket off, his sleeves rolled up past his forearms. Yes, he was a powerful man, and she had seen him fierce and focused. He glanced over at her and smiled, his eyes shining.

Maybe she was good for him. Huh.

“Then he started going out to the Bulldog Saloon at night. Not very often, but sometimes I’d find him on the sofa in the den the next day.

Once Knox had to pick him up at the local jail for a drunk and disorderly.

I think he and Knox had it out, and when Orrin found out—oh, Orrin was angry.

Dressed him down like he might be thirteen.

Told him that he was a hero and should start acting like it.

” She handed Kelsey another plate. “Tate left the ranch not long after that. He’d call me every few weeks and let me know where he was.

Bozeman, then Cheyenne, then Vegas. I think he worked as a pool boy in Vegas…

” She glanced over at him. “And I’m not sure I want to know what else. ”

Glo didn’t elaborate on the fight, the Bratva, and whatever past Tate had tucked into the dark, secret places. Even she didn’t know and wasn’t sure she wanted to, either.

“It just about destroyed him when Orrin died. I’m not sure they ever made up, and it breaks my heart.”

Tate was shoving one of the big couches in place under the massive stone fireplace.

“And then he showed up with you, Glo. You and the Belles, and for the first time in years, I heard him laugh again. Tate was our rascal, the troublemaker, but he was also my smiler. Refused to let his pain show. He broke his arm when he was six—fell off a horse—and walked around for two days acting like it was fine.”

She handed Glo another plate. “Never wants anyone to know he might be afraid or overwhelmed or hurt.”

Well, who did? It was easier, safer to pretend. To be okay. Because what if you acknowledged your pain and no one cared?

“But with you, Glo, it’s like I can see little glimpses of the boy I knew,” Gerri said. “The one who waved to me from the end zone after scoring a touchdown. He’s happy again.”

Yeah, she understood that. Because loving Tate felt very much like diving into the cool waters of her pool—cool, brisk, enveloping. But it was the letting go to float in the middle, nothing to hold on to that had her struggling in the water.

She could love Tate Marshall. Probably already did. But if she gave him her heart and he walked away, she’d have nothing of herself left.

“Tate made us all feel safe on the road,” Kelsey said. “And I’m sure he can keep you safe at the CMGs, Glo.”

“It’s not that. I know he could. It’s just…my mother needs my support?—”

“And you need hers!” Kelsey set down her plate on the stack and draped the towel over her shoulder. “Listen. I understand, believe me. Your mother is a force to be reckoned with, but so are you. You have your own light, and you need to let it shine.”

“I do—I am. But running for president is no small thing. She needs all the support she can get.”

“No, Glo. She’s trying to control you, and you’re being sucked into her matrix, again.”

Glo frowned at her.

“Your mother is a politician. She knows how to manipulate you.”

“She doesn’t?—”

“You learned that if you wanted your mother’s love, you had to show up and smile. You had to serve Joy and if you didn’t, then you were forgotten. Rejected.”

Wow, she hardly wanted this aired out in front of Gerri. She cut her voice, schooled it. “No—I loved Joy. She was my sister.”

“Of course you loved her, but I remember you when you showed up in Minnesota. Angry. Wounded. Bitter. And shoving it all down inside to put on a happy face. Raise your hand if you made the cheerleading squad.” She lifted an eyebrow.

Glo didn’t bother raising her hand, but yeah. “What did I have to complain about—I was alive.”

“And scarred. You still are. You somehow think that you have to earn your mother’s love.

Or maybe love in general, because our profession surely feeds that lie.

But I have news for you. You don’t need to do anything to be loved by the right people.

” She cast her gaze to Tate, who was carrying over an end table to put in place.

“And,” Gerri said, “I’m going to add to this conversation I’ve butted into. Heaven sees you, Glo. You don’t need to do anything to get God’s attention. You had it before you were born.”

Oh. Glo could see why Kelsey liked hanging around here. But the words settled, trying to find root.

Funny, she’d always thought that she was the extra, the afterthought. That despite her birth defects, Joy was the one whom God loved.

Kelsey shook her head. “I just can’t believe that after all we worked for, all you’ve been through, you’re not going.”

“Not going where?” Tate came over, carrying a couple dirty glasses. He set them on the counter.

Kelsey turned to him and promptly, without hesitation, threw Glo under the bus. “To the CMG awards. Glo says her mother has a big event and there isn’t enough security staff.”

He frowned. “I happen to know that Sly was working on the specs before I left.”

Glo shot Kelsey a glare and turned to him. “Yes, and they don’t work. If I go, she has to cancel an event.”

“No.” Tate came over to her and pulled a plate from her hand. “You’re going. That’s the end of it.”

“But—”

“Your mother doesn’t own you, Glo. Do what you want. And I’ll be there. Watching.” He fixed his gaze in hers. “And cheering as you win.”

She drew in a breath, wanting with everything inside her to pull him close.

But not in front of his mother, who was grinning at them.

Behind them, the front door opened, and Scarlett and Ford walked inside. Scarlett glanced at them and sighed before going into the den, closing the door.

Ford hung up his hat by the door and toed off his cowboy boots, sinking down onto a bench. He leaned his head back against the wall, something of defeat on his face.

Glo looked at Tate, who made a face and headed over to his brother.

“I’ll put these dishes away. You two girls head to bed.” Gerri picked up the stack of plates.

“I’m finding you a dress,” Kelsey said and pulled Glo away. Glo glanced at Tate who’d walked over to Ford, who had closed his eyes, as if in pain.

She knew the look of a broken heart.

Upstairs, Kelsey climbed onto her bed and pulled out her phone. “I pinned a number of dresses.”

Glo sat on the other bed. She loved this room—the two twin beds with the curved leather headboards, the western blankets, the mountain of white pillows, the watercolor pictures of white columbine and purple irises over the beds. It was an oasis in the middle of a rugged landscape.

Yeah, she’d stay forever, given a choice.

But she didn’t have a choice.

She closed her eyes.

Kelsey moved over to her bed and landed next to her. “Speak.”

Glo opened her eyes. “About?—”

“What’s going on between you and Tate? The man is crazy about you. And you…you act like this is a bad thing.”

“He’s…” She drew in a breath. “Confusing. I don’t know why he wants me. I’m a complicated package, Kelsey. And yet he makes me feel like I’m easy, simple. Like I don’t have to do anything but…”

“Receive?”

“I guess. And that’s what is so, well, terrifying.”

“Because you can’t control his love for you. You can’t make him stay any more than you could make David or Joy stay.”

Glo drew in a breath.

“You’ll just have to trust him.” Kelsey smiled. “Knox and his mother read the Bible a lot. And I’ve been learning some things. Like, did you know there’s a verse that says, ‘We love because he first loved us’?”

Glo nodded. “Didn’t you pay attention at all in church?”

“I was tired. A lot. But…what if that’s the key? We love simply because we’re loved. God’s love comes first, and ours is just a response. We didn’t trigger it—He did. And maybe that’s what you get with Tate—just love. Not because of anything. Just…love.”

“It feels like a terrible gamble.”

“Or overwhelming grace.”

“You’re never leaving the ranch, are you?” Glo asked.

“I am. In three days. With Knox. And I expect you to be there.” She held up her phone. “Take a look at my pins. We can have any of these dresses sent to Nashville.”

Glo took the phone. Began to scroll through the pictures.

“It’s time for you to live your own life, Glo.”

She found a teal-green sleeveless dress, short in the front, with a long sheath overlay over the back. “This one.”

“That’s my Glo.”

She could almost hear her father. There’s my Glo-light.

“Okay. I’ll go.”

“With Tate as your date?”

She smiled, turned to Kelsey. “He did say he’d be there to keep me safe.”

“If that’s what you want to call it.” Kelsey winked.

Glo laughed. Because she was right. It was time to stop living in fear. To give away her heart.

And to let her light shine.

She got up and grabbed her toothbrush, opened the door, and headed into the hallway.

The hall opened up into a balcony that overlooked the great room. The kitchen was dark, Gerri having gone to bed, but Glo spotted Ford and Tate sitting in the leather chairs.

Ford’s voice drifted upstairs. “She’s going to get herself killed, and I have to stand on the sidelines and watch. And it’ll kill me, bro. I can’t believe I let myself get in this far.”

She turned, was walking to the bathroom when she heard Tate’s voice. “Yeah, I get that, bro. I fell for the wrong girl once and it blew up in my face. I got sucked in to her world, and pretty soon I was in over my head, with no way out.”

“I guess I should be glad it died before it really got started because we could have had a real mess.” But Ford leaned forward in his chair, his face in his hands like he wasn’t glad in the least.

“I hear you. It’s like I can’t get my footing. I want her—but I’m so afraid of making a mistake too. Of walking into an ambush or doing something stupid. She’s amazing, but…yeah, she could be the death of me.”

Tate ended with a laugh but Glo froze, the words a hot ball in her stomach.

Yeah, well, she’d see about that.