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“But when I think about it now, I know when I started to fall for her. It was winter in New York. Really, really cold. She was out in the school parking lot trying to deep-fry a turkey, stuffed with god knows what, probably caramel corn, which was going to be delicious even though I’d never admit that in public.

I can see her. She was wearing some ridiculous nylon jacket with graffiti hearts all over it.

She had her hair up in two puffs. Before she saw me coming, I watched her.

Everything was gray. You know that low gray snow sky.

Gray snow piles on the side of the parking lot, but that day it was too cold to snow.

She looked so serious. Then when she saw me, she smiled so big I felt warm all over.

And I loved her. And I didn’t realize it.

“I realize it now, and I realized it at the grange the night she showed up. Through all the noise. All the bull—I mean stuff from Mega Eats, I saw her and I thought, I’ve missed you.

So. Damn. Much. Kia is kind, honest, and committed to what she believes in.

She wants to make the world a better place.

She makes me happy, and she’s beautiful inside and out, and when I wake up in the middle of the night when I’m eighty, I want her next to me.

And that started in school. How could I not say yes to her when I’d missed out on all these years we could have been together. ”

Mulroney asked Sullivan several questions after Nina finished. When Mulroney finally gave up trying to trap her, Judge Harper struck his gavel. Sullivan stepped down from the witness stand.

“Ms. Hashim, Mr. Bretton, Mr. Mulroney, I’ll take this under advisement and get my decision to you by the end of next week.”

“That’s it?” Sullivan asked when she, Nina, Mark, and Kia were standing outside the courthouse, Portland city life bustling around them. “Does he just email you the verdict?”

“Yeah. Not nearly as exciting as on TV,” Nina said. “It’s a bench trial. No jury so it’s just Harper and his conscience.”

That wasn’t comforting.

“Come on. Even I need a martini today,” Nina said.

Nina’s driver delivered them to the Makers Bar.

Opal and Deja joined them a few minutes later.

Nina gave the group a rundown on the legal fine points of Mulroney’s case, most of which they understood.

Sullivan and Kia held hands under the table.

Sullivan glanced at Kia as often as she could without being ridiculously obvious.

Every time she looked at Kia, Kia was smiling back at her.

“To Nina,” Sullivan said when Nina finished her recap and explanation. “I can’t thank you enough. No matter what happens. I am so lucky to have a friend like you.” Sullivan nodded to Opal. “And you. And new friends.” She nodded to Mark and Deja.

“What?” Deja had been on her phone since she arrived.

“I was saying, I’m glad I got to meet you and Mark.”

“Thanks.” Deja’s face lit up. She held up her phone. “Sorry about this. My friend, they’re not a hacker, but they’re trying to get Kia’s accounts back up.”

Deja really was delightful.

“I’m lucky to have such good people in my life.” She turned to Kia and kissed her lightly on the lips. “You too. Whatever happens, I’m lucky because this brought you back into my life.”

Kia laid her head on Sullivan’s shoulder. Opal and Deja said, “Aww.” Nina said, “Jesus save me.” Mark looked embarrassed. Sullivan didn’t care how she sounded. She didn’t want to be anything other than madly in love with Kia Jackson.

“See?” Opal said to Nina. “We said they were perfect for each other.”

“We said we liked Kia better than Aubrey,” Nina said. “Sorry, Kia. That’s a low bar.”

“Nina!” Opal and Sullivan said together.

Nina put her hand up in a hold on a minute gesture.

“But now, I’m going to say, I like you very much, Kia. You stood by Sullivan when it mattered. You didn’t crack on the stand. And you’re strategic. I said ruthless before, but now I’m just going to say strategic .”

“See what I have to deal with?” Sullivan said. “They want me to date someone ruthless and strategic. I just thought you were cute and kind of a good chef.”

Sullivan tickled Kia’s side. Kia giggled.

“I’m ruthless and strategic for the greater good,” Kia said.

“Check this out.” Deja looked up from the phone that had once again trapped her attention.

“Did Not A Hacker But get my accounts back?” Kia didn’t sound as thrilled as she should have been by the prospect.

“Sorry no, but look at this. Sullivan took some videos at the rally and they’re going viral.”

Kia reached for her own phone, remembered she didn’t have accounts, and said, “Sullivan, look it up.”

“The whole world is talking about that hideous little snake,” Nina said. “Sullivan, you went from no social media presence to nine thousand overnight!”

Now everyone was scrolling through their feeds, except Kia, who was leaning over Sullivan’s arm, touching her as much as one possibly could under the pretense of sharing a phone.

“Nine thousand isn’t a lot.” Sullivan knew enough about influencing to know that.

“It’s a lot to get overnight for someone with just a few posts whose videos are superlong,” Kia said. “I love that you didn’t edit them, by the way. You’re talking about things that are too important to cover in six seconds.”

In addition to likes and comments on Sullivan’s posts, people had shared GIFs showing snakes swallowing Mega Eats complexes with captions like Who’s mini now?

Channel 8 had interviewed the leaders of several environmentalist groups.

One of them called the miniature Oregon tree snake the rallying cry of our time .

The hashtag #WhatsInTheMeat accompanied Mega Eats employees slamming Mega Eats food.

Foodie influencers were urging a boycott: #MegaNo.

Kia gave Sullivan an exuberant hug, nearly knocking over everyone’s drinks.

Maybe the cooking bloopers on her feed weren’t all manufactured.

“We’re going to do it. We’re really going to save the tree snake!” Kia rattled off details about the snake and its unique tree-dwelling habits.

If Sullivan hadn’t already been in love, she would be now.

They discussed the rally for a while, filling Nina in on what she’d missed, savoring the details, applauding Deja’s organization.

Finally, Nina downed her drink and said, “I wish I could stay, but I’ve got a husband giving some serious piece-on-the-side vibes, and me and his wife need a convo on how we’re going to take his money.

This one’s too good to sit on.” Nina looked at Sullivan and Kia.

“I’m happy for you. This looks good for the snake.

Now Mega Eats knows there’s a movement to stop the development. What a clapback.”

Nina was gone for less than an hour before bursting back through the door. She pulled up her seat again and planted her elbows on the table.

“Listen to this.” She read from her phone. “ Mega Eats will be dismissing their complaint against Alice Sullivan and Kiana Jackson. It has come to our company’s attention that the Portland supply chain wasn’t strong enough to support the volume of customer demand . ”

She couldn’t have looked more excited if lightning bolts were sparking off her shoulders.

“Does that mean…?” Kia began.

“We’re…?” Sullivan didn’t finish the question.

“Free. Clear. Done with that bullshit. Yes!” Nina said.

“They don’t think they’ll be able to sell enough slime burgers in Portland?” Kia asked. “Or was it the snake?”

“It was the snake lovers,” Nina said.

“They don’t want to look like they’re destroying the earth,” Kia surmised.

“Nope. And based on what we’re seeing online, the publicity would be bad .

Period. The snake is adorable if you like that sort of thing.

” Nina gave Sullivan a pointed look. “And with so many people rallying around something that looks like the best Ralph Lauren belt this season… it’s too much bad press.

” Sullivan was pretty sure no one had rallied around the snake because it looked like a Ralph Lauren belt, but you never knew. And it didn’t matter.

“We won.” She wanted to kiss Kia with lips and tongue and her whole body, but that seemed inappropriate in front of her friends. She clasped Kia’s hands instead. “We beat Mega Eats.”

Kia squeezed her hands, bouncing in her seat. “By way more than point six percent!”