Page 18 of Taste of Thorns

I peer towards the now empty doorway. I’m not so sure about that. Things have shifted between me and Thorne – I’d even go as far as to say we’re friends. But the way he just responded to me – it feels like we’ve returned to how things used to be.

I chew on my cheek, feeling hurt.

However, Beaufort obviously isn’t interested in letting me mope in my emotions. He’s straight down to business.

“We need to find out who manipulated the trial and why,” he says, layering food onto my plate.

From his tone, I’m guessing that is how we are going to be spending our day off. There’s no ball this time. That delight was reserved for the start of our time at the academy. There’ll also be one after the very last trial – before we’re all carted off to our respective Quarters. All those in between trials? Nope.

“You really think it was manipulated?” I say.

“Fuck, Briony, you’re the most skeptical, suspicious person I’ve ever met–”

“I have my reasons,” I mutter, a little defensively.

“Are you telling me you don’t think it was manipulated?”

“Well, yes, I think it’s weird that I got sucked into Thorne’s trial somehow.”

“Exactly, Thorne’s entire trial was manipulated.”

“The whole of his trial? Why do you think that?”

“Because I got snakes, Dray got ghosts or ghouls or something fucking stupid, you got your stepmom and Thorne – Thorne got actual monsters torturing him with his past. That isn’t a fair comparison.”

I close my eyes and take a deep inhale. Maybe if Thorne hadn’t hurt my feelings two seconds ago, I’d let Beaufort’s comment slide but I’m all up in my feelings now.

“Beaufort,” I say, my voice trembling ever so slightly. “My stepmom once beat me until I was unconscious. She once pressed a hot iron against my skin until I could smell my own flesh burning. She once yanked on my hair so violently a whole clump came out in her hand. Just because she was one woman, just because I somehow didn’t break down in that trial yesterday, does not mean I wasn’t terrified.”

I open my eyes. Beaufort’s eyes are full of horror.

Dray says we’re all the same. That we’ve all experienced trauma, that it’s marked us all. Thorne’s demons, my scars, Dray’s bite mark. Beaufort on the other hand seems to have lived a gilded life. One with nothing but freaking snakes to havebothered him. I can’t help but feel a little bitter about it. Isn’t it what I’ve suspected about shadow weavers all along?

“Just because your own trial involved snakes,” I say, “doesn’t mean mine wasn’t as horrifying to me as Thorne’s was to him.”

“I will kill her,” he whispers.

I shake my head. “I dreamed of killing her so many fucking times. I fantasized about all the ways I’d do it – all the painful, agonizing ways I’d make her suffer, just like she’d made me suffer. But I saw Thorne yesterday. I want to be rid of her. I don’t want her haunting me.”

“Briony,” Beaufort says darkly, “Thorne doesn’t regret killing his father. Not for one single moment. And I will kill anyone who hurts you. Say the word, and I’ll bring you your stepmom’s head on a plate.”

I can’t help smiling at him, even if I’m still stinging from his earlier lack of empathy. The man is ridiculously dramatic at times. I probably shouldn’t find it as hot as I do. “I’ll think about it, okay.”

“Briony,” he says. “That’s why I think the trial was manipulated. You faced your biggest fear – or your demon – or whatever the hell you want to call it. So did Thorne. I didn’t.”

“You’re saying snakes aren’t your biggest fear?”

“No,” he answers firmly, “losing you is.”

It takes me several moments to compute his response. I blink up at him, my mind whirring. That … makes no sense.

“You fight demons and monsters andthat’syour biggest fear?” I say.

“Yes,” he says. The corner of his mouth lifts in an arrogant half smile. The man is so freaking handsome. Sometimes I forget to breathe. “Despite what a brat you are, I’m in love with you, remember?” A snort-laugh erupts from my mouth and nose and I cover them with my hands in embarrassment. “And I want to keep you around. I don’t like the idea of being without you.”

Maybe I am one great big sucker but a warmth spreads right from the center of my belly all the way along to the tips of my fingers and the ends of my toes. I stuff a really big mushroom in my mouth because I’m not used to people saying nice things to me and I don’t know how to handle it.

Do I say something nice back? Do I tell him that actually, as damn annoying as he is, I feel the same way? That I feel that way about all of them? Or would that seem fake and contrite right after he’s just said it to me?