Page 16 of Taste of Blood

He nods. “I know.”

Believe me, I wish I could, too.

I walk him to the elevator and watch as he disappears inside. Once I’m alone again my mind wanders to the one who inspired this latest surge of lust.

Cord.

My life was fine before I saw him last night. Empty, but as close to satisfying as I could hope for in this life.

Now he’s crawled back under my skin and I can’t shake him.

I can’t help wondering where he is and what he’s doing tonight. Is he with someone else? As if I have the right to ask that, after how I just spent the last hour.

Still, sex and love are two different things.

At least they are for most of our kind. We need blood to survive, and getting it often involves the kind of physical contact that leads to sex.

I’m sure, just like me, Cord has had other lovers in the years we’ve been apart. Were any of them serious? Does he have someone now?

These are questions I’d like to ask him. I know he’s feeling hurt about me, but doesn’t our history warrant a second chance? We were each other’s firsts. And despite the nameless, faceless others who have come since, he’s still the only one I truly care about.

Which means I worry about him. I can tell he’s not feeding regularly, but then, he never did unless I forced him to. For someone who claimed to want this life, he has to be one of the worst vampires I’ve ever known.

I consider various scenarios for convincing Cord to invite me in again. I don’t believe he’ll agree to come here. He can be so bull-headed when he makes up his mind, but I know I have to try. Maybe now that my immediate needs have been fulfilled, I can concentrate the rest of my evening on ways to win back my former lover.

7: Cord

I’VE BEEN PACING my apartment since Asher left, trying to clear my head and get control of my damn senses.

Why did I let him do that? Why did I even let him in the apartment? I should have slammed the door in his face. I will next time…if there is a next time.

What am I thinking; of course there will be a next time. This is Asher, who doesn’t know the meaning of the word quit. Boundaries are just suggestions to him. He built an empire being ruthless. Hiding behind that guileless face. And people say I’m dangerous.

The sad part–the really fucking sickening truth to all this is–I enjoyed it. I let him do it because it felt good. It felt right. Like he was right where he was supposed to be.

Weak.

That’s all it is.

A weakness. An addiction.

And like any addiction, I can get over it.

I just need to stay away from him.

I need a distraction. To lose myself in some mindless violence.

And I know just the place.

I grab my keys and shrug into my jacket. There won’t be much activity at the club this time of day, but there’s alwayssomeone around with an itch to scratch, and right now I’m just the person to oblige them.

There are maybe a dozen cars in the parking lot when I pull up to the squat, nondescript building near the docks. Anyone not in the know would think it was a storage bunker since there are no windows and one entrance, but it hosts some of the bloodiest violence in the city on a regular basis.

And the only people allowed inside are vampires.

This is our haven. The place where we can go to let the beast come out and play.

Darnell is manning the door. Nasty piece of work. I’ve yet to meet him in the cage, but I’ve seen what he’s done to others. Maybe someday I’ll feel reckless enough to take him on, but it looks like today won’t be that day.