Page 77 of Taming the Eagle
JUSTIN’S EYES GUTTERED, his handsome face tensing. A long beat of silence followed before he whispered, “Why?”
“You gave me my freedom,” Fenella replied, “and I wish to take it. I’m leaving.”
“You wish to return to your people?”
Fenella nodded, even as nausea assailed her. The Hag curse her, this was what she’d wanted. Why wasn’t she jubilant?
“I’m in love with you.” His admission was gently uttered, yet the words fell heavily in the cubiculum. “I want to share my life with you, grow old with you.” His throat bobbed then. “After what we’ve shared … I thought you felt the same way.”
The knots in Fenella’s gut twisted tighter. “We’ve tumbled a few times,” she replied, her voice brittle now. Nonetheless, she forced herself on. “Just because we can’t keep our hands off each other, doesn’t mean we’re fated to be mates. You’re a Roman. I’m a Picti. We have no future.”
A nerve jumped in his cheek. “I disagree.”
“You don’t know me,” she snapped.
“Yes, I do.” He moved forward, closing the gap between them once more. “You hate to be caged, but I wouldn’t do that. I want you at my side … for us to build a life together.”
Fenella shook her head, denying his words. They were beguiling, yet they’d trap her if she wasn’t careful. “You’re in love with the idea of me, not the reality.” She sucked in a deep breath before plowing on. This would hurt him, yet he needed to understand the truth of things. “Ever since you brought me here, I’ve been biding my time, looking for a chance to flee. I only swore to obey you so you’d let me out of the pit. In truth, I planned to run the day I went shopping with Kahina in the vicus. But Eogan’s arrival prevented me.”
“Of course you did,” he countered, not remotely shocked by her admission. “I take responsibility for that, carissima, for I took you as my slave.”
Fenella’s heart started to race, panic kindling under her ribs. Curse it, he wasn’t listening to her. “I intended to escape yesterday too,” she continued, “and I would have if those warriors hadn’t entered this house.”
Justin stiffened. Finally, she’d gotten his attention.
“I knew Toutorix’s attack was coming,” she admitted, holding his eye. “Eogan told me. I knew, and I said nothing …nowtell me you still want me.”
Long moments passed, and when Justin spoke his voice was rough. “I understand what you’re doing, but it changes nothing. I still want you as my wife.” His gaze glittered then. “Ineedyou.”
He reached for her, but Fenella stepped away. Her lip curled. “You need a woman who’d stab you in the back without a second thought?”
He swallowed. “You wouldn’t.”
“Listen to me, man,” she snarled. “I have lied to you, withheld valuable information. You should want to take your fists to me!”
“And how would that help?” he shot back. “Even if you’d told me about the coming attack, it wouldn’t have prevented it. I knew trouble was brewing.” Justin broke off then, his chest now rising and falling rapidly. “You still don’t trust me, don’t you?”
Fenella stared back at him.
Folding her arms across her breasts, she shook her head and tried to ignore the tearing pain in her chest. “No, Aquila … I trust no man.”
Long moments passed, and then Justin’s face shuttered. Only the pain in his eyes betrayed him. “Very well.” His voice was hollow now. “You are a freewoman … I can no longer hold you here against your will. If independence is what you want, you must take it.” He moved then, heading toward the door. “Stay in here tonight … I will sleep elsewhere. If you wait to depart at dawn, I’ll organize a pony and provisions for you.”
Fenella watched him go, cold stealing over her.
She’d won the fight, had successfully pushed him away. Yet it didn’t feel like a victory. Instead, it felt as if she’d taken his pugio and stabbed herself in the chest with it. “Justin,” she croaked. “Wait.”
He’d reached the door, his hand upon the handle, yet he turned, glancing back over his shoulder. His expression was bleak.
The urge to break down, to rush to him and fall at his feet, was overwhelming, but Fenella fought it. Freedom had its price, and this was it. Inhaling sharply, she dug deep for strength. “I never wanted to hurt you … I’m sorry.”
Justin held her gaze, the tight muscle in his jaw feathering. “So am I.”
And with that, he left the cubiculum, shutting the door firmly behind him.
One of Justin’s men knocked on Fenella’s door early, before dawn.
Handing her a pile of clothing, the legionary took a smart step back. “Here … I’ll be back soon.”