Page 12 of Taking the Pitch (Love & Baseball #2)
CHAPTER ELEVEN
amelia
Four days.
I’ve been able to successfully avoid Judd for four days. I woke up the day after Halloween full of self-loathing. How could I have let him slip past my defenses like that?
Because he’s safe. A little voice chimes in.
I snort to myself while lacing up my running shoes. More like I was drunk and had a momentary lapse in judgment.
But he rescued you.
Shut up!
I let out a huff and grab my water bottle, phone, and keys off the kitchen island. I need to get this anxious energy out and since Mother Nature has decided to give us a big ‘fuck you’ and dump three to four inches of rain on us over the next couple of days, I have no choice but to use the gym that’s located on the main floor down the hall from the front desk. It’s either that or I drive myself crazy in my apartment, replaying that kiss over and over.
I lock up my apartment and head to the stairs with Bruno in tow. I’ve been avoiding the elevator at all costs. Allowing myself to kiss Judd was a monumental mistake, but one I can’t get myself to regret, no matter how hard I try. Because I have never been kissed the way Judd kissed me. His lips were surprisingly soft, and it took everything in me not to bite down on his full bottom lip.
When he hit that delicious spot on my neck, my knees nearly buckled at the jolt of pleasure he extracted from me. If it wasn’t for the elevator announcing the arrival to my floor, I can’t say I wouldn’t have stripped him down right there in the elevator and had my way with him. I blame seeing him shirtless at the club and my utter weakness for tattoos, and Jesus, is he tatted. The black swirls and designs of ink running up his entire right arm and half of his left nearly made me combust on the spot. What I wouldn’t give to run my tongue all over them.
The bang of a door brings me back to the present and I look around, realizing I’m already out of the stairwell and at the gym door.
I’ve been doing that a lot lately. Spacing out and not noticing I’ve arrived somewhere until I’m actually there. It’s disturbing, and I blame Judd. I was fine until he entered my life. Okay, so I wasn’t fine , but at least I wasn’t this distracted.
I set my stuff down on the bench closest to my treadmill and give Bruno the down command. He plops down and watches me with his brown and blue eyes while I stretch. I have the entire gym to myself, seeing as it’s only four o’clock in the morning.
Thank you, insomnia.
After I’m stretched, I hop onto the treadmill and start at a walk, letting my leg muscles warm up. The last thing I need is an injury. While I’m walking, I place my headphones into my ear and find my latest workout playlist, letting myself get lost in the music.
Two songs later and I’ve picked up my pace to a nice steady jog, feeling my shoulders relax slightly as my anxiety starts to melt away. A faster paced song comes on and I increase the speed slightly on the treadmill, pushing myself, running from all my problems and uncertainty until my legs burn.
I should stop, or at least slow down, but I can’t. My brain and leg muscles are at war. My brain screams at me to keep going, that I can outrun the pain, that the pain is all in my head, while my muscles are threatening to give out at any moment.
The song ends and switches to something that has a slower tempo, breaking my focus, making my feet falter. I try to hit the stop button, but it’s too late. I’m already behind. I feel my feet near the edge of the treadmill and make the decision to try to hop backwards, but I have no idea how I’m going to do that with my feet moving forwards. I’m about to give up and just let fate take its course when I see a figure out of the corner of my eye. I whip my head to the side to see who it is. My feet falter as a strong arm grabs me around the middle and tugs me to the side.
I throw my hands up to brace myself, and they land on a solid wall of muscle. Lungs burning, I gulp down air before looking up and seeing the main problem I was running from in the first place.
Judd.
Of course.
Looking down at me with his mischievous smile, he says, “No need to throw yourself at me. I’m already interested, Shortcake.”
Something pulls low in my belly, but I pull away before it goes any further than that. Ignoring his comment, I say, “Uh, thanks for catching me. I was ready to just take the hit.” Turning back to the treadmill, I hit the stop button and grab my towel off the arm, wiping the sweat that’s dripped down my face.
“I’ll always catch you, Amelia.”
My eyes snap to the mirror and see his green eyes blazing back at me. “Why?” I breathe out, asking his reflection.
“Because I think you’re worth holding on to.” Taking a step forward and crossing his arms across his chest, he leans against the post my body would have flown into if he hadn’t grabbed me, letting his words sink in.
No one has ever thought I was worth keeping, not with my…baggage.
My eyes travel over his reflection, taking him in. He has on a pair of gray basketball shorts, and I never realized how attractive calf muscles were until I saw Judd’s very muscular ones. My perusal continues north over a slight bulge, and I quickly flick my eyes over it, not needing to be turned on any more than I already am seeing him in that damn backwards hat. He’s wearing a black cut off shirt, exposing his beautiful tattoos and muscles that are totally doing it for me. Finally, I reach his face. His beard is shorter than it was the last time I saw him, making his jawline sharper. I can’t help but wonder what it would feel like between my legs. Would it be too rough, or just enough friction?
I blink and mentally give myself a shake. Judd would eventually think my baggage isn’t worth keeping me too, which is why I need to steer clear. But when he looks at me like that, like I’m the only one who matters, it makes it harder to resist him.
His smile widens. “Like what you see?”
I bite my bottom lip and pull it into my mouth, tearing at the skin. I do, I really fucking do, and that’s the problem.
Pushing off from the post, he strides over, not taking his eyes off mine in the mirror. When he reaches me, he gently turns me around by my shoulders so I’m no longer looking at his reflection but the real thing. Gripping my chin, he tugs my lip out of my mouth and runs his thumb over it. His eyes move from my lips to my eyes. “Are you going to answer my question?”
“No,” I whisper.
“No, you don’t like what you see, or no, you’re not going to answer?” he asks, eyes bouncing back and forth between mine.
I force myself to take a step back, even though the last thing my body wants is to break contact with his touch. Turning, I walk to the bench where I left my stuff and Bruno. “No, I don’t like what I see.” I can’t say the words while looking at him or he’ll know it’s a blatant lie. “I don’t even like you, remember?” I remind him, grabbing my water bottle and chugging down half of it. Wiping my mouth with the towel I’ve draped over my shoulder when I’m done.
He chuckles and crosses his arms over his chest again. “I think you like me plenty. You’re just afraid.”
Fuck yes, I’m afraid. I’m more than afraid. I’m terrified. None of my relationships last. I’m too fucked up to love fully. They love the surface version of me, but once they get deeper, it’s too much. It’s always been too much. That’s why I’m better off alone. You can’t get hurt if there’s no one to hurt you in the first place.
As if reading my thoughts, Judd closes the distance between us and sits on the bench, dipping his head to meet my eyes. “I would never hurt you, Amelia.” He reaches for my hand and laces my fingers between his large ones, dwarfing mine.
I stare at our linked hands, wanting to believe him. “You don’t know that.” I finally look him in the eyes, letting him see my fear, my turmoil. “You can’t know that.”
“I do.”
I shake my head and pull my hand away. Grabbing my phone and keys, I release Bruno and let him say hi to Judd. Bruno wiggles between Judd’s legs while he pets him, yet not breaking eye contact with me. “I’m too broken, Judd. You might as well cut your losses now.”
He shakes his head. “We’re all a little broken, Amelia. It’s about finding the right pieces to put us back together that makes the pain bearable.”
“I’m not your missing piece, Judd.” I’m the mangled puzzle piece that you have to throw away, never getting to complete the puzzle.
“I think you could be.” He gives Bruno one last pat before getting up from the bench and coming to stand in front of me. “Can I touch you?” he asks.
Knowing it’s a bad idea, I nod anyway.
Judd cups my cheek, brushing his thumb back and forth. I close my eyes and give into the touch, releasing a sigh.
One last time.
“What do you feel?” he whispers in the silence of the room.
“You,” I tell him, opening my eyes to look into his.
He huffs a small laugh. “Yes, but what do you feel when I touch you?” He tips his chin at me. “Close your eyes again.”
Taking a deep breath, I reach up and grab his wrist with my free hand and close my eyes.
“Tell me what you feel.”
I stand there for a second, trying to figure out what he means when it hits me. My eyes fly open meeting his.
“It’s all quiet, isn’t it? The thoughts, the fear, the anxiety? All the thoughts turning in your brain, driving you crazy are–”
“Quiet,” I finish for him.
He nods.
“How? Why?” I ask, trying to figure out why I didn’t notice this before.
Because you were too busy fighting your feelings to notice.
He shrugs one shoulder. “I don’t know, but I think it’s the same thing my brother Kessler felt with his fiancée when they first met. I asked him how he knew and what we’re feeling is what he described. That and undeniable energy.”
I think back to a few days ago at the library when we shook hands and felt that zap, and then again on the dance floor on Halloween. And now with his hand cupping my face. It’s true, I’ve never felt the way I do with anyone like I do with Judd. But we’ve only known each other for a few days.
That fact pours over me like cold water and my body jolts. Needing to break contact, I step back out of his touch and shake my head. “This is crazy, Judd; we’ve only known each other for what? Six days. I’m not your puzzle piece. I’m not your soulmate. I’m just someone who’s trying to save their library program, and you just happened to be the person who can help me. There can’t be anymore to it.” I call Bruno and turn towards the door.
“Amelia wait–”
I shake my head and keep my pace. “No Judd, I’m sorry, but I can’t be the person you want me to be.”
I exit through the door and to the door leading to the stairwell. Yanking it open, I run up the stairs as fast as my feet will take me, Bruno hot on my heels. Once again, running from my problems.
Me
I think I need to move.
Charlie
Why? What’s wrong with your apartment?
Hazel
Is it because of the HOT baseball daddy?
Me
OMG Eww Hazel, don’t call him daddy. That’s just…no. And Yes, I don’t think I can live in the same building as him anymore.
Charlie
*snort* baseball daddy, Judd will love that.
Charlie
Also, what happened now? You kissed him in the elevator, which btw still jealous about that. Not the kissing Judd part, because I don’t see him that way, but the elevator part. That’s fucking hot.
Hazel
GOD! SAME! I want a hot elevator kiss.
Me
Can we focus here please? I’m having a crisis.
Charlie
No, you’re over analyzing something and your anxiety has worked it into a bigger deal than it probably is. Tell us what happened.
Me
I was in the Gym yesterday morning. At 4am might I add, because we’re avoiding. And Judd came in as I almost face planted off the treadmill. He saved me and then basically told me I was his missing puzzle piece.
Charlie
Wait, he saved you then said you’re his puzzle piece? Just like that?
Hazel
OMG THAT’S ADORABLE! :::heart eyes emoji:::
Me
Ok well no not just like that. Other things happened, but that was basically the gist of it.
Me
It’s not adorable Hazel, it’s…. scary.
Charlie
What’s more scary though Millie? Not taking a chance and missing out on something great? Or taking that chance and realizing it was worth it.
Hazel
Sometimes you have to take the pitch to find the right one.
Charlie
Nice baseball analogy Hazel. Someone’s been studying their terminology.
Hazel
*takes a bow* Thank you. I thought it was a good one.
Me
*sigh* I hate you, both of you.
Charlie
No you don’t, you just hate that we’re right.
Hazel
^ what she said.
Me
Charlie
Hazel