Page 19

Iris

L iving with Yien was pure bliss. I had no other words to describe it. From the moment I stepped into this realm until she left for Aris’s for a second time, I had wanted for nothing.

She gave me food whenever I was hungry. She took me to explore her realm—even if we were only allowed outside the fog for a few moments at a time. She told me about the souls she was protecting.

And of course, we spent days in bed getting to know each other.

I started to know her body as well as I knew mine. I knew that when I licked her inner thigh and met her eyes, arousal would flood through her. She would try and distract me with her shadows, but I saw how wanton she became with even the littlest bit of attention.

I also saw how desperately she had needed a companion. It made me realize that she was much more like me than I could have ever imagined. I had felt so alone back home with no one but myself to trust.

She was the same, except with a much bigger burden on her shoulders. She had a realm—and all the souls that gathered there—to care for.

It was that thought that brought me back out and into the fog.

I wanted to understand more.

I wanted to help her.

I saw how she would look out at the souls when she thought I was asleep. There were just so many of them all the time, and I couldn’t help but wonder if she was waiting for a specific one.

I had stayed away from the fog wall, unsure of what I would find, but as soon as she left, I couldn’t ignore the need to explore, even if it was just for a few moments.

I let my fingers dip into the fog. Something burst through me. Instead of the memories of the souls with the demons, this felt lonelier, more painful.

I gasped, pulling my fingers back. It wasn't just memories that flooded my system this time. There was a burst of feelings as well.

Sometimes, when the feelings were strong enough, they would bleed into my own. I was used to that. But this was different.

This was a flood of emotion that I knew was not my own, but I couldn't stop myself from feeling. Like a parasite burrowing into my being and making me feel exactly what they felt. What their souls felt. Was this what Yien felt when she touched it?

The fog is an extension of her, Xira had told me.

Did that mean it was her who was feeling this, not the souls?

No. It couldn't be because I knew I had seen memories before. Maybe she acted like a barrier so I couldn’t feel their pain? Just to test that theory, I put my fingers against the wall of fog, just barely brushing across it.

Fear, anger, and pain attacked me all at once, just as strongly as if I had placed my entire hand in there. This time, I stumbled back, unable to bear it.

“What the fuck?” I whispered to myself.

“If you wanted to touch the fog, you could have done it while I was here.” Yien’s voice came from behind me. I jumped, turning to look at her.

“I’m sorry. I?—”

She held up her hand. Her shadows wrapped around my waist and pulled me closer to her.

“You don't have to apologize to me. You don't have to apologize at all. I just—” She cut off, her lips pressing together in a thin line. “I wanted you to be safe. I was worried about you.”

Her admission caused my heart to soar.

“You finished early,” I said, trying to change the subject as uneasiness unfurled in my stomach.

Her eyes searched my face before she nodded.

“Your friend is doing well. It seems like you're not the only human who has found a better life in the demon realms,” she told me as she looked into my eyes. “I daresay my friend is quite enamored with her.”

“Does that mean you are enamored with me?” I asked, batting my eyelashes. A whisper of a smile spread across her lips.

“More than you would ever realize,” she admitted. “I never felt this way about anyone, let alone a human.”

My throat closed, and tears threatened to fall from my eyes.

“You barely know me,” I whispered.

Her clawed hand reached out to run her fingers through a stray strand of my hair.

“My shadows accepted you as one of their own,” she said. “No one else has ever been able to see them or interact with the souls the way you can. I am not sure I believe in the Fates, but I will not ignore the signs. You did not stumble into my arms by accident. You asked me once why I picked you, and there’s no real reason except that I felt you. You hadn’t even come on stage yet, and my shadows were already telling me about you. Like you were meant for me.”

I couldn’t take it. Not when she was looking at me so sincerely. I can’t trust it. Who in their right mind, demon or not, would want someone like me ? Especially after knowing me for such a short period?

I wanted more than anything to believe it. I yearned for a love like the one she was promising… but the voices of Mother and Father were swirling around my head, reminding me I would never get it.

I stepped away from her, looking down at the ground with my heart pounding in my chest.

“I’m hungry,” I muttered.

She was silent for a moment before she wrapped her arm around me and pulled me back toward the house.

“Okay,” she said in a tone softer than I had ever heard from her. “Let’s go inside, hm?”