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TILDA

I ’ve made a lot of mistakes in my life. I’ve kissed boys I shouldn’t have, and joined causes that were unjust, and one time, I went on a very stupid mission to try and kill a very powerful man, and that almost got me killed.

But this…?

It isn’t a mistake.

In fact, I don’t think I’ve ever done anything that felt so right.

I’m trying to force his hand, force him to order me to kiss him–then his hands are on my face, his body against mine…and he’s kissing me. I lean into that kiss, savor it, slant my mouth against his. I curl my fingers in his shirt, the stiff white collar a reminder a delicious reminder of the fact that this is entirely forbidden. His scent envelops me, that divine combination of incense and red wine.

And even though I haven’t truly tasted him—not yet—he tastes like all that too, like a heady bouquet of ruby wine.

I have this horrible feeling he’s going to end it right here and now. He’s been clear enough that this isn’t a possibility, that he’s going to stick to his vows.

It seems, though, that even his vows and my bad deeds aren’t enough to keep us apart.

The kiss gets heated in a split second. Reyes tilts my head, one of those huge hands slipping around to the back of my neck, and I open to him with a moan, his tongue gliding across my lips before tangling with mine. He makes this low, masculine sound that rumbles in his chest, the kiss getting messy and desperate.

The place where he bit me sears my skin, a wave of tingling heat rushing over me. I drag him closer, flinging my arms around his neck, and Reyes takes the invitation and rolls with it; he kisses me hard, deep, invading my mouth and leaving me breathless.

It’s the first time I’ve been kissed in nearly a decade.

If he’s really been celibate, it’s his first time since before the convergence.

And my God, it feels like I’ve been dying of thirst.

His arms wind around my waist and pull me closer, and I grip his shirt desperately as we finally break apart for air. He rests his head against mine and I close my eyes, going in for another kiss—but he stops me and looks away. It only lasts for a moment–then his amber eyes are locked on mine again, like he can’t stay away.

“We can’t,” he says.

“We are.”

“Tilda–” he sighs.

“Don’t ‘Tilda’ me,” I cut him off. “We’re doing this. Like you said, it’s fate.”

I lean in again, and this time he puts his finger to my lips. “This isn’t something we can just do,” he says. “If we…there are things you don’t know about lycans. About the way we’re built, how we…how we mate.”

“Somehow, that just makes me more intrigued.”

He chuckles. “God help me…you’re insatiable.”

“You have no idea,” I murmur against his finger.

And before he can pull anymore of this shit, I suck the digit into my mouth.

I’m a bit rusty at seduction, but there was a time when I was very good at it. Reyes isn’t immune to that, no matter how high and mighty he claims to be. His lips fall open and he takes a heated breath as I suck on his finger, and my pussy clenches when he rolls with it, going so far as to thrust his finger slightly deeper, again, again. His other hand is gripping my hip, thumb grazing over the scar underneath my dress, and my whole body is burning for him…

But he abruptly stops–sets both hands on my shoulders, his muscles tense to keep me away.

“Tilda,” he says, words pieced out to get the point across. “We cannot do this.”

My eyes flick to his lips, and I cant my hips toward him. His eyes flutter when I make contact…feel how hard he is under his jeans. I hook my fingers in his belt loops, insistent.

“Just this once,” I say. “Figure out if we’re really destined or something, and then we never have to do it again and you can go back to saving yourself for God.”

He rolls his eyes, the bastard.

“That’s not what I’m trying to tell you.” Reyes grips my shoulders so tight I think they might bruise. “What I’m saying is that, once I have you…I don’t know if I’ll be able to convince myself to let you go. And this isn’t a just once kind of deal.”

“I’d be down for a few rounds,” I say, cocking an eyebrow.

“You don’t understand what a few rounds with a lycan are like,” he says through gritted teeth. This is getting to him; I can feel his resolve slipping. His voice is lower, growlier when he continues. “A few nights of hard, unrelenting rutting…and we have anatomy that human men don’t have. Something that will keep me locked inside you until I’ve bred you.”

I know I should be disturbed, grossed out, something. But fuck if this doesn’t just make me want him more. I squeeze my thighs together to try and ease at least some of the tension, but all it does is stimulate the already sensitive flesh between my legs.

“Reyes,” I murmur.

“Tilda…”

“If you don’t want to do this, I don’t know if we can be alone together,” I whisper. “And I still…fuck, I still need you to help me with the insulin, and you need me to help with the farm.”

“Right,” he says. “There’s too much riding on us…”

“...for me to be riding you?” I finish for him.

He stares at me for a long moment, his expression unreadable. The silence stretches, taut as a wire, until I’m sure I’ve ruined everything.

Then he huffs out a sharp breath, his lips twitching—and before I can stop myself, I snort. It’s ridiculous, the tension, the weight of it all, and the sheer absurdity of whatever this is between us. The laughter bubbles out, unbidden, and to my surprise, Reyes joins me.

It’s not loud or booming, more a low, rumbling chuckle that shakes his chest beneath my hands. The sound vibrates through me, warm and deep, and for a moment, everything else fades away—the world, the past, the impossible situation we’re in. It’s just us, sharing this fleeting, fragile moment of relief.

Reyes finally pushes me back, gently but firmly, his hands lingering on my shoulders for a moment before they fall away.

I already miss him. That shouldn’t be possible after just one kiss. My arms feel weirdly empty, like I should still be holding on to him, or maybe like he owes me another kiss for good measure.

He clears his throat, the movement awkward enough to pull me out of my own head. His expression has shifted—more serious now, though there’s still that flicker of humor in his eyes, like he’s trying to find his balance too. “Well,” he says, his voice rough but steady, “now you know. And we can figure out what to do about it. As long as you leave by the full moon…”

“Right,” I say, my brain catching up to what Peaches told me earlier. “Because of the rut, right?”

Reyes freezes, his ears practically turning red. “Uh, yes. That.”

“Oh, good,” I say, unable to resist poking at him a little. “For a second there, I thought it was going to be something awkward.”

His jaw tightens, but his blush only deepens. “And because my bite is on you,” he continues, powering through like I didn’t just embarrass him, “by lycan rules, we’re…already mated.”

“Hmm,” I say, biting back a smile. “Mated, huh? Well, I guess this is the fastest marriage proposal I’ve ever gotten.”

“Tilda,” he says, pinching the bridge of his nose.

I hold up my hands, grinning now. “Okay, okay. I get it. No jokes. This is serious business.”

“It is,” he mutters, his voice dropping an octave. “We won’t be able to stop ourselves.”

His words hang in the air, and for a second, I can feel the weight of what he’s saying. It’s…a lot. My thoughts tangle up, sharp edges and loose threads. He’s my enemy, he bit me without my consent, and oh yeah—he’s a priest. It’s like the universe handed me the world’s most complicated puzzle and said, “Here, have fun.”

“I think,” I say slowly, “that I need to go talk to Peaches or…do something productive before my head explodes.”

“I understand,” he says with a small nod. “I’ll walk you back to the visitor center.”

“No thanks,” I say, taking a step back. “I’d like to be alone for a bit. You know, clear my head.”

Reyes raises a brow, and his mouth quirks just enough to make me wonder if he’s teasing me back now. “I promise I won’t run off,” I add quickly. “Scout’s honor.”

His gaze softens, but there’s still a glint of mischief there. “Doesn’t matter if you do,” he says. “I’ll catch you.”

The heat rises in my face, but I manage to keep my expression neutral. Mostly. “That’s supposed to be reassuring, right?” I mutter.

He doesn’t answer—just steps back, his lips twitching in a smile that tells me he knows exactly what he’s doing to me.

Damn him. Damn everything about him.

* * *

“Yes, I understand the absurdity of the fact that I just kissed a werewolf priest.”

Peaches laughs at me as I emerge from the waterfall in the spring, scrubbing the soapy water out of my hair. After my conversation with Reyes, I needed to be dunked in cold water—so the first thing I did was grab Peaches and go straight back to the den. I can’t believe the things I said to him, right after a church service nonetheless. I’ve always been bold, especially according to my more conservative relatives, but this takes it to a whole new level.

When he touched my hip…the bite felt like it was searing right through the fabric of my dress.

I want him so bad I can’t see straight.

“I wish I knew what it was like, but I’ve never met my mate,” Peaches says. “Was it amazing?”

I scowl. “I’m not going to girl talk this with you.”

“Why not?” She lounges against the edge of the pool, sighing wistfully. She’s wearing an oversized t-shirt, a towel on her hair, her feet in the water. “Come on, give me just a little bit. The tension between you two has been crackling ever since you got here, so I figured it was only a matter of time.”

“Did you know we were mates?” I ask.

She chews on her lip. “No, but a few of us guessed, and I think Suyin and Mateo knew. The way you healed…it isn’t normal. Sure, our bites have healin’ properties, but nothing like what happened after Reyes bit you. So I kinda figured it was probably more than just his charitable nature.”

“You could’ve warned me,” I say. “At least so I could have tried harder to resist it.”

“But do you really want to?” Peaches crosses her arms and gives me a skeptical look. “You and Reyes are a lot more alike than you might think. And honestly, he seems lonely. I think you would be a great couple.”

“I don’t think that’s even on the table,” I mutter. “He’s a priest…he doesn’t want to break his vows.”

“And yet he kissed you,” she says, tapping on her chin like she’s trying to work out a mystery. “Weird how that happened…”

“I’m not staying, Peaches.”

“You could, though.”

I dunk my head back under the water rather than keep listening, letting her voice fade to an echo in the cavern. I open my eyes to look around at the way the blue water plays against the floor of the spring, plants at the edges that filter out algae.

When I emerge, Peaches is standing at the edge, grabbing the rest of her clothes. I get out too and start getting dressed, quickly yanking on my shorts and tank. I’m still a little uncomfortable with all the naked folks around here, even if this is the way they do things.

“I meant it,” she says, like I didn’t just willfully ignore her. “There are a lot of people here that like you: me and Charlotte and Elijah…and of course Reyes. I think Mateo is warming up to you, and Grant doesn’t seem to want you to leave.”

“There are about a hundred other people here who will never forgive me for the things I’ve done,” I say. “And honestly, they shouldn’t.”

Peaches gets dressed and towels off her hair, then sits at the edge of the pool. I sit beside her, my legs criss-crossed under me, hiding my scar as much as I can.

“I don’t know what you did, Tilda,” Peaches says. “But we’ve all done bad things. There was a rebellion, and a war, and the world isn’t the way it once was. I mean…I’ve never known the world pre-Convergence, and it’s a pretty ugly place.”

“That doesn’t quite convince me,” I say. “And how can he really know? Like…what if there’s some other mate for him out there, and she’s going to show up and be better suited for him? What if he just got swept up in the heat of the moment and the bite is making him feel just as out of control as I feel right now?”

“Reyes tends to be pretty dang composed and confident, and you’ve got him in a real tizzy.”

“Like I said, the bite?—”

“The bite can manufacture a lot of things, but it can’t manufacture what you’re feeling.” Peaches shifts uncomfortably, looking away from me. “Tilda…the Gulf Pack does things differently, ya know? Their Prime picks as many mates as he wants from the omegas, and when he bites them, they become subservient to him. But that doesn’t make his omegas love him, it doesn’t make them want him. It just makes them…”

“Peaches,” I say, cutting her off gently. I can see the pain in her face, the way her frown gets deeper and deeper. “You don’t have to finish. I get it.”

“I’m just tryin’ to say that you don’t have to distrust everything you’re feelin’,” she says. “We play by different rules, but we still think and feel like humans. We just…think and feel a little bit more, if that makes any sense.”

We both hear approaching footsteps at the same time, and we look over at the entrance to the chamber. The curtain opens and Suyin steps through, her eyes widening when she sees us.

“I can go,” she blurts out.

“No need,” Peaches says. “We were actually just talkin’ about the bite—figure you might have some input?”

We haven’t really spoken before—not much, since Suyin tends to be pretty quiet and extremely busy as the only doctor in the den—but I have a feeling she might actually be able to help.

Suyin cocks her eyebrow. “So he finally told you?”

“Yeah,” I say. “It was a lot.”

“It always is,” she grumbles. Suyin walks in and sets her towel and change of clothes down, putting her hands on her hips. “What happened?”

I consider whether or not I should tell her…but something makes me feel like it will be okay. She’s a doctor; she’s got to be used to keeping secrets.

“This doesn’t leave this room,” I say.

“I don’t have anyone to tell,” she shrugs.

“Okay…well, we talked. He didn’t really tell me; I guessed. And then we kissed. And then, when I suggested we just do the dirty and get it out of our systems, he said he wouldn’t be able to stop until he bred me…?”

Suyin doesn’t laugh–not even a little bit. She just cocks her head and gives a thoughtful nod.

Okay–so I’m the crazy one for thinking that was strange, I guess.

“It’s weird the first time you hear it, but it’s a wolf thing,” Suyin cuts in. “This might be awkward, but have you seen a male alpha naked before?”

I snort, my cheeks flushing. “Can’t say I have.”

“Well,” she says. “They’ve got this…it’s kind of hard to describe. Sorry to get clinical, but it’s a bulge at the base of the penis that swells up when they’re aroused, and it serves the purpose of locking the penis into place until the male has come.”

“Way to make it sound sexy, Suyin,” Peaches laughs, then looks back at me. “We call it a knot, since it—” she makes a popping sound with her lips “—ties you together. Sometimes for a long time.”

“Like how long?”

“During the full moon, it can last all night,” Peaches says. “But other days, I’m not sure.”

“An hour is the longest I’ve heard it lasting outside of the full moon,” Suyin says.

“Doesn’t sound pleasant,” I say, cringing.

“Actually, it’s supposedly very pleasurable between mates, as long as consent is given and the activity is expected,” Suyin says.

“Wait a second, though,” I say. “I thought they couldn’t have sex without breeding.”

Suyin tilts her head, her expression turning thoughtful. “The knot makes it hard not to, well... finish inside,” she says matter-of-factly. “But there’s birth control, and we keep a stock of Plan B around for heats. Just in case.”

I raise an eyebrow, my brain catching up to the clinical explanation. “Right…so, uh, could you hook me up with some of that?”

Peaches freezes mid-laugh, her mouth hanging open. “Wait—are you actually considering…?”

“I’m not considering anything!” I snap, feeling heat rush to my face. “I’m just…planning ahead. Things got heated earlier, and I don’t want to be caught off guard.”

Peaches smirks, leaning back on her hands. “I gotta admit, Tilda, I did not have ‘Reyes breaks his priestly vows’ on my bingo card.”

“I don’t know what’s going to happen,” I say, dragging a hand through my damp hair. “But I’d rather be prepared. Can you help me or not?”

Suyin studies me for a moment before nodding. “Of course. Meet me at the clinic later—I’ll get you sorted.”

“Thanks,” I mumble.

Peaches gives me a sly grin as Suyin gathers her things to get into the pool, leaving me and Peaches alone. “You know,” Peaches says, her tone almost too casual, “I think Reyes might surprise you. He doesn’t exactly strike me as the type to half-ass anything.”

I groan and shove her playfully, sending a small splash of water her way. “You’re a menace.”

“And you’re smitten,” she teases, dodging the spray.

I laugh despite myself, the sound echoing off the cavern walls. It feels good, like a tiny break in the storm cloud of my thoughts. But even as we gather our things and head back toward the den, the truth gnaws at me, impossible to ignore.

I don’t know what’s going to happen between me and Reyes.

But whatever it is, it feels inevitable.