Page 3
Maya
I jolt awake, heart slamming against my ribs, body buzzing like it’s ready to bolt. This isn’t the first time I’ve woken up, confused, drenched in sweat, and just a little strung out but it’s the first time in almost six months that the nightmare of Nox pinning me down claws at the edge of my mind. Ragged gasps peel from my lips as I rip the blanket off my legs, the sudden cool air sending a shiver down my spine. The darkness spreading through my bedroom doesn’t help and I reach over to flick on the lamp I set up beside my bed.
I’m not sure why the night light didn’t kick in but that’s not the reason I woke up. A hard knock pounds on the dorm door and I flinch, realizing that’s what yanked me out of sleep. My legs swing off the bed, bare feet hitting the cold floor as I fumble for my sweatshirt. I tug it over my head, curls snagging in the collar, and stumble toward the door still groggy. I fling it open expecting… I don’t know what. Not this.
A girl stands there, maybe twenty-something, high ponytail bouncing as she shifts her weight. “Jesus, I didn’t actually think anyone moved in there.” She peeks her head in, her nose scrunched up as if she’s disappointed by the lack of stuff I brought with me. “But you can’t miss the mid-semester party at Zeta Cinder Mu. Seriously .” Her high-pitched voice cuts through the fog in my head.
“What?” It’s too early for this or maybe late. I’m not sure because I didn’t check my phone before I opened the door.
Laughter bubbles up behind her from a gaggle of girls in the hall. Another one steps forward, someone more mild-mannered and a little more my speed. “We’ll have some drinks, hang with the players, lowkey stuff.”
I rub my eyes, the weight of the nightmare still clinging. “I’m good thanks,” I mumble, ready to shut the door.
Ponytail girl tilts her head, insisting for some reason. “Just at least grab some food. It’s catered and I guarantee it’s better than anything in the cafeteria. ‘Sides, the cafeteria closes in fifteen minutes so unless you run, you’re not likely to get anything more than the bottom of the pans.”
I snort because yeah she’s not wrong. The cafeteria’s a war zone of soggy fries and mystery meat. “Yeah, okay, I do need to eat,” I admit, leaning against the frame. “Do they at least have some shitty tequila?”
She laughs, shaking her head. “Nah, some of that high-end stuff. Zeta Cinder Mu is all rich guys who want everyone to like them. Definitely peaked in high school.” Her tone drips with mockery but there’s a practicality to it I like. “Just stay at the edges, grab a plate, and leave. It’s what I do.”
I raise an eyebrow and clarify, “And this is the mid-semester party?”
“Yeah but they find a reason to party every weekend. I go for the food, a smoke if I can find someone with the good stuff, maybe a fuck or two, then come back to the dorms to study. Easy living.”
I snort again, a real laugh this time, because damn that takes me back. Four years ago, life was that easy—grad degree on the horizon, hockey pulsing through my veins, Dakota’s spicy lavender scent tangled up in my sheets. I remember a few wild nights when he’d invite a friend along, all of us laughing and touching and falling into each other like it was nothing. Simple. Uncomplicated. I cherish those days now, back when Nox wasn’t a shadow choking out the light. “Yeah I’ll head over,” I concede, pushing off the doorframe. “I’m guessing it’s the big one at the edge of the quad?”
She nods, grinning again. “Yeah, that’s the one. Make sure to grab some of the lasagna if it’s there. Bomb-ass stuff really.” The other girls giggle and start drifting down the hall but she lingers a second, tossing me a knowing look before following them.
“First party of my new life. I got this,” I mutter to myself like an idiot as I trudge through the courtyard to Zeta Cinder Mu. My mind is frayed, my entire body on alert but a sense of normalcy is what I need. Getting a little drunk, maybe finding Dakota to hook up with, and then doing the walk of shame sounds like a damn good idea. It also sounds like an awful plan as I’m just going to break my heart and possibly his when I tell him that it can’t mean anything.
Ignoring my own advice, I straighten my shoulders, telling myself that my nightmares don’t get to ruin this evening. I even slipped on a thin turtleneck dress—dark burgundy, full sleeves, covering everything from my neck to my wrists. It’s snug enough to hug me right and I swiped some matching color lipstick across my lips trying to feel a little pretty for once. I even pulled my hair back in a bun, hoping that I’d feel more like myself than I have in ages.
It's working.
Kind of.
The moment I step into the house, I make a beeline for the makeshift bar at the back. I know the girls said something about food but I’m more interested in not thinking for the next several hours which means tequila. And a lot of it. The protein bar from earlier will have to hold me for a little while. Two hands plant on either side of me gripping the edge, caging me in. Fear spikes in my chest until that lavender scent hits my nose, Dakota grinning down at me when I twist to look at him.
I swallow nervously, not entirely sure what he wants from me despite the heat lingering in his gaze. “Kota…”
“I’m not asking for anything permanent,” he cuts me off, leaning a little closer so that his chest rubs up against my back. “Stepping back into what we used to have will take time, if it even happens again. But maybe tonight, we just have a little fun? Monday, we can start over for real. I’ll even introduce myself like a gentleman.”
I turn back to face the bar, refusing to let him see the heat on my cheeks. Feeling him up against me is giving me thoughts I shouldn’t entertain but with every passing second, his scent boldens and steals my rational thoughts away. “That’s not how any of this works, Kota. I can’t just forget everything that’s happened.” The last word comes out on a wobble, a whine at the edge of my tongue.
He smirks, signaling one of the guys behind the bar to pour a shot for me. “Loosen up a little, Aya. Leave the world outside for a few hours and just have fun with me. Just tonight. Scouts honor or whatever.”
I throw back the shot and then turn fully around, about to tell him off but that puts me in an entirely different position, his eyes turning almost black with desire. My tits brush across his hard chest, my breath hitching as something else hardens against my belly. Every thought I had to tell him that I’m just here for tequila and food flies out the window. “Just one night?” I whisper, placing a gentle hand on his chest.
“That’s all I’m asking.”
“I’m going to need at least three more if I’m letting loose,” I grumble, knowing that I’m going to hate myself tomorrow for whatever hangover results from this evening.
Dakota shoots me another grin, waving down the guy from before. He slides a full bottle of a tequila brand I’d never be able to afford before Dakota grabs it and pours another shot with a practiced flick. “Here you go, princess.”
“This is going to be a night of bad decisions isn’t it?”
He laughs, tossing his own back and shrugs. “All in how you look at it. Coach gave us the night off and you’re kind of the only one I wanted to spend it with. Didn’t think you’d show up but miracles do happen apparently.”
“You’re not going to charm yourself into my pants, pretty boy.”
He leans closer, breath warm against my ear, and whispers, “So you say. The night is young.”
For some reason, it’s so fucking easy to lose myself in his eyes, in his touch, and his easy words. Even more so than it was four years ago. What I don’t understand is the way my body is heating up and something is telling me that I need him. Some part of my brain or my Beta instincts telling me that the man standing in front of me is mine. This never happened with Nox. He said pretty words. I believed them. I shouldn’t have.
But just standing here, the only thing I want more than Dakota’s hands on me is his cock inside of me. And that doesn’t make a lick of sense.
“More tequila,” I blurt out, very aware of how red my face is. He obliges as I throw back another shot and then drag him toward the dancefloor, not wanting to deal with my feelings. I can feel that he wants to ask a question but I’d rather drown out everything with his hands on my hips and pretend that I’m not craving his touch.
It’s like a practiced move between us, like I never left, Dakota pulling me back against his chest, sensually moving behind me until we’re all but fucking on the dance floor with clothes on. His lips trail along my jaw and tease my ear, hot breath sending shivers down my spine. My body’s on fire, skin prickling, and I need a reprieve but I can’t pull away. My pussy clenches around nothing, aching, a moan sitting on the edge of my tongue, desperate for more.
“I forgot how much trouble you are in public, Aya. I’m going to have to fuck my hand when I get back to my dorm.” His voice is several octaves deeper, husky in my ear as he nibbles the lobe.
“Tell the others to fuck you,” I murmur, dragging one of his arms around my waist before tangling my fingers with his. He tenses against me but I’m not sure why he thought I didn’t know. We had never been exclusive and I did leave him. “Kota, seriously? I can’t really smell them but there was definitely traces and you smell more like them now. Not completely.” Beneath the lavender, there’s traces of something else. I can’t pinpoint it but it gives off the presence of at least an Alpha in his life. I’m more than happy he found someone, though.
Dakota hums against my ear, his lips traveling farther down to suck on my throat. “They might enjoy that. Fucking me, licking your scent off my skin. Might even have to drag you between us at some point.”
I ignore those words because this is one night of fun. One night that I leave the world outside and give into desires I’ll never be able to pursue. I’m here for a degree, to enjoy college one last time, and then start my career. Love and a pack doesn’t factor into that, no matter how much I want it to.
Someone clears their throat and I blink my eyes open, hazy from the pheromones dripping from Dakota. Brogan. I remember him, another Beta who used to catch my eye back in the day. A few wild nights flicker in my memory, Dakota on one side, Brogan on the other, his fresh rain scent calming me when we all fucked around.
It pulled me out of my head, that cool steady smell balancing Dakota’s eagerness. I’m not sure what I expected coming back to Northvale this year, but it wasn’t this—falling into their arms again, like no time’s passed. And yet I can’t resist. Not tonight.
I reach for him, not even sure what I’m doing, Brogan stepping forward as his chest presses against mine. My head lolls to the side as Dakota nibbles playfully at my neck, both of them moving together, sandwiching me between them. I lose myself again, caught in the rhythm of their bodies against mine. The music pounds louder, bass vibrating through us as Brogan dives in for a kiss. His lips crash into mine, his tongue slipping into my mouth as they begin to move away from the chaos.
It isn’t until the noise dies down that I realize we’re no longer in the main room, hidden off to the side in a small crevice parked in the hallway. It’s darker here, quieter, and the heat ramps up fast—hands roaming, breaths mingling. And for some forsaken reason, I need this.
Dakota’s lips dip lower on my neck brushing the edge of my turtleneck and I tense, trapped between them. Brogan pulls back from the kiss, his brows knitting in confusion before they relax, his eyes searching my face. “Is the neck off limits, love?”
I nod, unsure if I want to keep going. The scar’s under there and I don’t want to ruin the moment with questions and the pity that will no doubt be on their faces. I lean back against Dakota, his hands settling on my waist as he just holds me.
Brogan takes his time, gently caressing my cheeks and then my neck before leaning in for another softer kiss. “You’re in charge here. Do you wanna go back?” His scent is faint, just a brief whiff of that calming aroma I used to love. It takes me a few moments but I shake my head, telling him I want to continue. I want to feel. I want to be loved even if it’s so fucking selfish to take this from them.
They dive back in without hesitation. Dakota’s lips find my jaw again, teasing the sensitive spot just below my ear, and Brogan claims my mouth, slower this time, tongue brushing mine. Brogan presses me harder against Dakota, their cocks wedged against my belly and small of my back, sending a jolt straight to my core.
My head spins, tequila buzzing in my veins, and a memory from four years ago flickers sharp and bright—me splayed out between them, their hands and mouths everywhere, taking me apart with no qualms, no whims. Back then I’d been fearless, drunk on them and the night, and right now I’m tipsy enough to feel that confidence roar back. Brogan’s lips leave mine, trailing wet and slow down my chin as he sinks lower, hands dragging along my sides.
He drops to his knees in front of me, rough fingers hooking under my thigh. My breath hitches as he lifts my leg and drapes it over his shoulder. The stretch pulls a tremble from me, my pussy clenching with need. Dakota’s arms tighten around me from behind, holding me flush against his chest, one hand sliding up to cup my tit. His thumb brushes over my nipple through my bra, slow circles that harden it to a peak, and I arch into him gasping.
“You still good, princess?” he whispers, voice husky against my ear. His scent blooms again, flooding my senses, drowning me in a haze that doesn’t make sense for a Beta.
I hum, a needy little sound, because words won’t come. I’ve never felt like this—never wanted something this bad, never needed their attention like I’ll die without it. My head lolls back against Dakota’s shoulder as Brogan’s breath fans hot across my panties. I sag between them, Brogan chuckling before he drags me a little closer, pressing his mouth to me. He sucks on my mound through the fabric, a bolt of pleasure shooting up my spine. My fingers dig into his shoulder, nails biting through his shirt, while my other hand clasps over Dakota’s, pressing it harder against my tit.
A breathy moan spills out, Dakota twisting me just enough to catch my lips. His kiss is deep, tongue sweeping in to claim me, swallowing the sounds I can’t hold back. Brogan’s fingers tug my panties aside, cool air hitting my slick folds for a split second before his tongue licks up inside me. I shudder hard, hips bucking into his mouth as he laps at me, the Beta sliding a finger in beside his tongue, curling it just right. I’m falling apart, unraveling between them, and when he adds a second finger to that slow, deep rhythm of his, I ride the edge of an orgasm that crashes over me faster than I thought was possible.
My thighs tremble, a keening whine tearing from my throat as Brogan keeps going, tongue flicking against my clit while his fingers fuck me through the waves. Dakota still has me in that rough kiss, his fingers squeezing my tit and flicking my nipple in alternate movements, pleasure flowing through me until I can’t help but scream into his mouth.
Brogan sets my leg back down, crawling up my body as Dakota releases my lips. Brogan grins as he sucks those two fingers into his mouth, eyes locked on mine. “You taste just as damn beautiful as you did four years ago, love,” he purrs.
I’m still under whatever this haze is as I fist a hand in his shirt and drag him toward me so that I can taste myself on his lips. Brogan doesn’t hesitate as he captures my mouth, his tongue slides against mine, salty and sweet with my own release. Dakota’s still behind me, cock pulsing against my ass, his breath ragged in my ear as he watches. Brogan grinds his hips against me, gently deepening the kiss when someone yells his name. He pulls back, his attention torn from us as his shoulders fall.
“Shit. I have to take care of that.” He places another kiss on my lips, leaving me with a brief smile. “I’d stay longer if I wasn’t helping run this bitch. Jesus, every one of them is a cock block.” He takes off, yelling the moment he steps back into the main part of the house. I can’t catch his words but he’s definitely irritated which warms some part of me.
The other part, though, is disappointed he left. Like, irrationally disappointed. If I didn’t know better, I’m acting like a territorial Omega but I’m not an Omega. It’s one of many reasons Nox didn’t want me. I slowly push off of Dakota but he catches onto my minor distress, turning me around to search my expression. “Hey, what’s wrong?”
“I’m not sure,” I mumble. “I just… I’m disappointed? But I don’t know why. I…” My voice falters and tears prick my eyes all of a sudden. I clench my fists, brows furrowing in frustration as I try to claw through the mess in my head. Nothing makes sense—just this hollow ache blooming where heat was a minute ago.
Dakota’s face shifts, worry creasing his forehead. “Did we go too far? Did you not want that? Did I read the moment wrong?” His words tumble out fast, laced with panic.
“No nothing like that!” I insist. “I just… something’s wrong in my head.” My hands tremble and I wrap my arms around myself trying to hold it together.
“Let me walk you back to your dorm. I know you well enough to know that the chaos here right now is a little too much. Let me at least see you back to your room, okay?”
I glance toward the party where Brogan vanished. “I don’t want Brogan to think that…”
Dakota cuts me off with a reassuring nod. “I’ll let him know but right now you look like you’re about to have a heart attack and I’d rather you be somewhere you feel comfortable.” He slides an arm around my waist guiding me out the back of the frat house and into the cool night air. My legs feel unsteady, tequila and emotions swirling, but he keeps me upright, steering me across the quad toward my dorm.
We stumble inside and he kicks off his shoes at the door, the thud echoing in the quiet. Before I can process it he crawls onto my bed, mattress creaking under his weight, and pulls me into his lap. I settle against him, legs draped over his, and blink up confused. “Kota what are you doing?”
He wraps his arms tighter around me, silence filtering between us for a few seconds before he answers. “Holding you.”
I tilt my head, studying him. “Why do I feel like you need this more than I do?” I tease, but it’s half-serious.
“I’m not sure. I could feel how distressed you are. You’re confused and I needed to fix it. Don’t ask why. Just let me hold you.” He pauses, then adds. “Now what happened? I thought you were enjoying...” His voice dips off as I shift in his lap, a grumble tearing from my throat. A soft sound rumbles from his chest—low and strange, not something he should be able to make. I narrow my gaze but don’t push it as he leans in running his nose along my forehead, scenting me like he used to.
“I didn’t like that he left okay?” I blurt, words spilling out before I can stop them. “I’ve been touch starved for a while. I really liked it and fuck I have no idea why I’m telling you this. It doesn’t matter. We’re not going to start anything. And yet I don’t…”
Dakota’s grip tightens a little more as if he lets go, I’m going to bolt. “It’s probably because you’re ours.”
“What are you talking about?”
“Scent matches, mates, all that jazz. No, hey, I know you’re not ready for that conversation and I wouldn’t have brought it up but that sudden disappointment is the only thing that explains it.” His tone softens like he’s trying not to spook me.
I wriggle out of his arms, confusion and terror spreading through me. Dakota sits up a little straighter and then he pouts—full-on pouts —lips jutting out, brows creasing a little. His scent boldens, sharper than I’ve ever smelled it before, even stronger than at the frat house earlier, my nostrils flaring as it hits me hard for the first time.
He slides off the bed, pulling me against him again. “That! That reaction right there? It’s how I know. However, I also know that Nox took something from you because I can smell you all the damn time. Knew the moment you walked into that party, your scent lingering on me after I kissed you the first time. But you haven’t reacted, not once. Not until just now.”
I’m still wildly confused. “I don’t understand,” I whisper, voice trembling. If that was the case, I should have reacted to Dakota and Brogan four years ago. They smelled nice to me, for sure, but they didn’t make my mouth water and I didn’t feel fucking disappointed when Brogan would leave after a threesome. Right now, though, some part of me wants to find Brogan and drag him into this room to finish what we started.
Dakota rakes a hand down his face as he releases me, heading for the door. “I fucked all this up. I wanted to ease you into it.” His shoulders slump in defeat but I rush over to catch him, knowing that I’ll freak out if he leaves too.
“Please explain it to me because I’m going crazy,” I plead. If he leaves now, I’ll crumble—I feel it in my bones—and it doesn’t make sense. Not one damn bit.
He turns back, brown eyes locking on mine. “We’re mates, Aya,” he confesses, voice breaking. “Fuck, I’ve wanted to say that for years but you can’t smell me can you?”
Tears well up hot and fast blurring my vision and I choke out, “What?”
He steps closer cupping my face. “I’ve loved you for so damn long but this afternoon I knew you were mine Aya.” His thumb brushes my cheek, wiping away a tear but that doesn’t explain Brogan.
“But Brogan…”
Dakota nods like he’s been waiting for that. “I don’t think you’re all mine,” he admits softly. “Brogan’s part of it too. I felt it tonight—how you lit up between us. It’s not just me.”
Table of Contents
- Page 1
- Page 2
- Page 3 (Reading here)
- Page 4
- Page 5
- Page 6
- Page 7
- Page 8
- Page 9
- Page 10
- Page 11
- Page 12
- Page 13
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