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nineteen

ERIN

We were supposed to be taken straight to a mansion on a deserted island, where we could spend two weeks alone together, sealing the bond.

The storm made that an impossibility. Jordan let us know that the Society offered to rent us a vacation home in a city nearby, or that we could choose to go to Rhett’s house early.

We’d both been done with tropical islands, and gone with the latter option.

So, Rhett and I boarded the private plane that had carried us to the island.

Jordan and the other guys went to wherever they were going to prepare for the next season. It would be starting in a few days, so the guys would all just spend the time feasting and sleeping in a hotel.

Realizing that the game was over felt surreal.

Accepting that Rhett was going to be my mate?

That would take time.

Possibly a lot of time.

I looked around the interior of the plane. Though it was elegant, there was nothing inside but large armchairs. No couches. Nothing resembling a bed.

The chairs did recline.

But the way Rhett’s arm had remained wrapped around my waist since I chose him made me think he wasn’t going to let go of me with any amount of enthusiasm.

“Where do you want to sit? ” I asked.

He answered by lifting me off my feet, sitting down in the largest chair, and setting me on his lap.

The way his body nearly engulfed mine made me feel small and feminine.

Warm, too.

And maybe a little bit loved.

His lips met my throat, and I closed my eyes as he kissed me lightly. “It’s going to be a long flight.”

“I know,” I whispered.

“You should sleep through most of it.”

“So should you.”

Rhett made a noise of agreement. “When we’re home, we’ll figure everything else out. No overthinking.”

“No overthinking,” I agreed, though my stomach was a little tight.

We took off a few minutes later, and sure enough, I fell asleep almost as soon as we were in the sky.

After a month on an island, I had no problem at all sleeping in the arms of a gorgeous fae man while there was working air conditioning.

I didn’t wake up until the plane landed, and when I did, Rhett’s arms were firm enough around me that I didn’t budge despite the jostling.

“We made it?” I asked, my voice heavy with sleep.

“Yep.” Rhett kissed the top of my head. “Time to head home.”

Home.

It was a strange concept to me. I wasn’t sure I’d ever truly felt at home, anywhere.

Certainly not during my childhood. There had been some measure of peace after my mom and her boyfriend died, but the world was a shitshow at that point.

I’d been trying to figure out a way to escape being compatible mates with a fae since the world finally calmed down, so I hadn’t let myself get settled then.

But I felt more comfortable in Rhett’s arms than I could ever remember feeling before.

Maybe I belonged with him. Maybe he was supposed to be my home.

Damn, that sounded cheesy.

But I couldn’t stop myself from thinking it might be true.

We walked off the plane a few minutes later, and were in the back seat of an armored vehicle a few minutes after that.

“Do we really need this much protection?” I murmured to Rhett, as we pulled away from the small airport after buckling up. Rhett was sitting in the middle of the bench, as if it wasn’t the least-comfortable spot in the vehicle, and I was on his right.

His hand landed on my thigh, his grip light though the touch was clearly possessive. “No. It’s just the Society’s protocols when it comes to the shows. It’s better to be too protective than to risk anyone’s life.”

“Is that why you made me buckle my seatbelt before you left my old apartment?”

His lips curved upward. “No. I made you buckle because you looked like you were going to bail the moment I turned away, and the seatbelt’s click would give me more time to react.”

I snorted. “Clever asshole.”

He chuckled. “I’m not a beginner.”

I leaned my head against his shoulder, watching the scenery around us as we drove. The coastal town was gorgeous, both quaint and cozy.

I’d never lived outside a big city, so that was going to be new. I couldn’t say I’d miss the noise and hustle. Especially after living nearly a month on the Survival island.

“Let’s never go out in the rain again,” I said, my gaze lingering on the way the sun’s rays kissed the buildings around us.

“Agreed.”

We stayed quiet for the last fifteen minutes of the drive.

Soon enough, the vehicle was parked in front of a nice beach home that I recognized from the pictures Christina had sent.

Rhett’s house was beautiful.

Large windows made the ocean view such a permanent fixture that I barely noticed anything else.

“So you own this place?” I asked, standing on the sidewalk in front of it. “We haven’t talked about finances. Or much else in the real-world.”

We probably should’ve done that.

Shit.

I didn’t know what our life would look like together, or what he expected from me after we were mated. Or?—

He stepped up behind me, his body steady against my back. I let out a quick breath at the sudden pressure.

His hand landed on my hip, and I couldn’t stop myself from leaning against him a little. “We’ll talk about everything,” he said.

The words were simple, but eased my fear.

“I don’t know how to have a relationship,” I admitted.

“I don’t know how to have a successful relationship. We’ll figure it out together.”

That did sound good.

He led me up the steps to the front door, his chest still against my back as we moved together. When he typed in a code to unlock the large double doors, he didn’t try to hide it from me.

1201.

“My mom’s birthday,” he explained. “We always had the same codes for everything. We gave each other privacy, but having the same code would make an emergency much easier.”

My heart squeezed at the simple intimacy of that.

Sharing codes.

I’d never even had a key to my mom’s place. When I got home on the odd days she bothered locking the door, I had to sit on the doorstep until she got home. I’d waited for hours, sometimes.

It had been dangerous, and made me feel like I didn’t matter to her. It was a damn miracle nothing bad had ever happened to me when I was outside.

Then again, the inside of that apartment hadn’t been any safer.

“You guys were close,” I said, as we stepped inside the house.

My eyes moved over the interior.

It wasn’t a mansion, but everything was oversized. The halls and doorways were insanely wide, and nothing was placed too close together. The few decorations looked big and heavy.

“It’s beautiful,” I said.

“It’s yours.” Rhett lowered his lips to my shoulder and kissed it. No one had given me a shirt, and I’d left my favorite raincoat in the hotel, so all I had on was a sports bra.

“We’re not technically mates yet.”

“That will be remedied soon.”

My lower belly tightened at the certainty in his voice.

And the promise of what it meant.

Sex.

Hot sex.

Permanently hot sex.

Changing.

Becoming a fae.

Growing wings.

“Is everything in here so open because of your wings?” I asked, changing the subject abruptly.

“Yes. It feels more natural to remain in fae form sometimes.”

I nodded, biting my lip. “What’s it like to have wings?”

“About the same as not having wings. They become a part of you.”

I nodded again. “Can you show me where my room is?”

“ Our room?”

“Right.”

He led me through the house, pointing out an office, two spare rooms, the kitchen, and finally, our bedroom.

It was massive, with a monstrously large bed that would fit two fae in their winged forms. The furniture looked sturdy and comfortable. The art on the walls featured more beaches.

“You love the beach, huh?”

“I do,” Rhett admitted. “Though I’d prefer never to set foot on the Survival island again.”

I bit my lip to stop myself from smiling.

We definitely agreed on that.

“I’m going to shower,” I said. “I still feel covered in sand. Can I borrow some clean clothes?”

“Of course. The Society should have your things here in the next day or two.”

I nodded, nerves and uncertainty still running rampant in my chest. I fought like hell not to let Rhett see it.

He stepped into the closet while I turned the water on in the monstrous shower, letting it warm up while I looked at myself in the mirror.

I hadn’t paid attention the night before, when we were in the hotel, so my appearance caught me off guard.

I was thinner.

Slightly more tan, but mostly a little redder, since that’s what my body liked to do under the sun. I’d used tons of sunscreen, and stayed in the shade as much as possible, but I’d still been living on an island.

Though the weight loss made my face thinner, the experience had made my eyes sort of… softer.

More vulnerable.

The small woman in the mirror was not the strong, hard creature I’d been the day Rhett drove me to the airport.

I’d changed, even without any magic to turn me into a fae. I’d been forced to.

Rhett stepped up behind me and set a neatly folded pile of clothes on the bathroom’s countertop. His hand caught my hip again, and my gaze followed it down in the mirror.

And lingered.

Something welled up in my chest. I didn’t know what to label it, and I wasn’t entirely comfortable with the feeling. It was too new.

“What are you thinking?” Rhett asked, his voice quiet.

I met his gaze in the mirror. “My tits are tiny.”

He chuckled, his free hand finding one of my breasts and squeezing lightly. “They’re perfect.”

“As soon as I start eating, they’re going to fill out again.”

“Then I should get to feeding you, immediately. What kind of cake is your favorite?”

I snorted. “You want to fatten me up so my boobs grow?”

“I want to get you healthy again after watching you starve for nearly a month,” he corrected. “But if your breasts grow in the process, you won’t hear any complaints from me.”

“Shocking,” I drawled.

He squeezed my tit again. “Let me shower with you.”

My mind went back to our shower in the hotel, and my face warmed. I watched the red spread over my cheeks in the mirror. “I need a few minutes to think. Next time?”

He dipped his head. “What do you need to think about.”

“Everything.”

His forehead creased.

I stepped out of his arms and grabbed his elbow, leading him to the bathroom’s large sliding doors. They were similar to the barn doors that had been trendy long ago, but were a more modern version.

“I’ll come find you when I’m done.” Leaving him outside the door, I closed it.

Or closed it as much as was possible, given that it didn’t have a lock or anything. Really, it was more like a privacy divider than a door.

Standing just on the other side of it, I closed my eyes and let out a slow breath.

I’d never really managed to think my way through something. My brain didn’t work like that. If it did, I hadn’t figured out how. I usually just had to ignore my feelings until they went away. If I could avoid them long enough, I could seal the bond with Rhett and be forced to figure everything else out as it came up.

That was probably ideal.

I heard footsteps on the other side of the door, and tilted my head closer so I could hear Rhett walk away.

But, as soon as the footsteps moved away, they returned.

My forehead creased as I listened.

Close, then far.

Close, then far.

Close, then far.

Ohhh.

He was pacing.

He wasn’t as skilled at ignoring my emotions as I was. And didn’t realize why I needed space.

I didn’t want to tell him, though.

When he really learned how to embrace his dominant side, he would just step back into the bathroom and demand to talk to me. Maybe we’d even learn how to work through things that way.

But at the moment, he didn’t seem ready to push me.

And I wasn’t going to offer to help with that when it came to feelings I didn’t really understand myself.

I wasn’t the kind of girl who would ever survive being married or mated to a timid guy. If Rhett and I were going to make things work, he had to be honest with both me and himself, and speak up when he wanted to speak up.

He wasn’t there yet, but I was pretty damn sure he’d get there.

So, I finally stepped into the shower. After the water washed most of my sand away, I sniffed all the different products, enjoying the yummy, masculine scents. I’d never smelled any of them on Rhett, considering where we’d been living, but I kind of looked forward to it.

I scrubbed my scalp with shampoo viciously, then loaded conditioner onto the strands before rubbing my entire body down with shower gel.

I was almost finished rinsing the conditioner out when the sliding door finally moved.

Surprise lifted my eyebrows as Rhett stepped inside, his gaze intense. Instead of speaking, he stepped out of his shorts and boxers, then joined me in the shower.

I stepped back to give him space.

He didn’t like that, and reached for my hips.

I took another step back, holding out my hands. “You’re sandy. I finally got clean.”

“I’ll wash you again.” He captured my hips and tugged me closer, until my bare chest was pressed against his.

“I told you, I need time to think.”

“Think out loud, then.” His grip on my hips was possessive.

Determined, too.

He wasn’t letting me go until he was satisfied with my response. And as much as I didn’t want to talk to him, I respected that.

Grudgingly.

“Or we could just…” I trailed off, going up on my tiptoes so I could kiss him.

He kissed me back, walking me two steps backward until he had me pinned to the wall.

Then, he ended the kiss. “I want to know what you’re thinking, Chaos.”

I sighed, leaning back against the tile wall and shutting my eyes.

He waited.

“I’m thinking that a lot of things are going to change, and that’s terrifying,” I said, my voice quiet. “I’m thinking that I have no idea what our life together is going to look like. I’m thinking that we should date for another year or two before we seal the bond, but you’re not going to be okay with it. I’m thinking that this marriage shit is really big, and really permanent.”

He didn’t answer right away.

I squeezed my eyes shut a little tighter.

“I’d give you more time if I could, Chaos,” Rhett finally said, his voice quiet but genuine. “I just don’t have time to give.”

My stomach clenched.

My entire body clenched.

He was dying. I’d forgotten he was dying.

“Things are going to change for both of us,” he said. “But we’re going to change together. Yes, it’ll be harder for you, since you’re growing wings, but we’ll adapt together. Grow together. Figure shit out together.”

I let out a shaky breath. “I barely recognize myself after all the rain and starvation. I’m weaker, now. I looked vulnerable .”

“Being vulnerable takes a hell of a lot more courage than any amount of coldness,” Rhett said bluntly. “It’s easy to push people away. It’s hard to let them in. Physically, you’re weaker now, but mentally? Emotionally? You survived, and you came out stronger for it.”

“I don’t know if that’s true.”

Rhett captured my face in his hands and tilted it back until our eyes met. “ I know it’s true. Trust me.”

I did.

I trusted him.

As insane as that was.

I finally dipped my head in a small nod, and he kissed me.

His mouth was soft, but the kiss wasn’t slow or gentle.

It was rough.

Fierce.

Delicious .

I hooked a leg around his hip, and Rhett’s chest rumbled against mine. One of his hands found my ass, lifting me higher and changing the angle a bit.

I sucked in a breath against his mouth as the thick length of his erection pressed against my clit.

Moving my hips just a little, I lined his tip up with my entrance as we kissed.

He growled into my mouth, grabbing my other thigh and wrapping it around his waist as he lifted me higher.

I gasped against his lips as he pulled me down over his cock, filling me fast and hard.

The shower spun around me as I breathed hard, trying desperately to adjust to the feel of him inside me. I hadn’t eaten anything, which didn’t make me any less faint.

But I was used to starvation.

I’d ignore the shit out of it if it meant having Rhett inside me like he was.

He hauled me out of the shower without bothering to turn the water off or pull out of me. I didn’t even hear the door close behind us.

My hair dripped down my back and ass before he set me down on my back on the bed. Then, it soaked the blankets.

Rhett’s eyes burned over my bare figure as he leaned over me, his hands on either side of my head.

“Shift,” I said. “I want to touch your wings.”

His cock throbbed inside me. “If I shift, we’re sealing the bond.” He rocked his hips slowly, smoothly, dragging a ragged gasp out of me. “There’s time for that later. Right now, I’m taking you like this.”

My heels dug into the thick muscles on his ass as my hips arched to meet his next, slow thrust. “Mmkay.”

The word was strained.

I didn’t have the mental willpower to argue.

He worked himself in and out of me slowly, every inch of his thick cock hitting that perfect spot inside me as he moved.

It was insane.

Intense.

Incredible .

I unraveled with a moan.

Panting, sweating, and rocking, I came down from the high while he continued to move inside me.

The sensation was unlike anything I’d ever experienced before.

As amazing as it was, it was intimate in a way I didn’t have words to describe.

It didn’t feel like he was fucking me; it felt like he was making love to me.

I met Rhett’s gaze, and found something I hadn’t seen in it before.

Something like devotion .

Maybe even something like love.

“You’re unreal,” I breathed, my hips still moving with his.

“You’re unbelievable.” He unwrapped one of my legs from around his waist and lifted it up to his shoulder.

My lips parted at the change in sensation.

He repeated the motion with my second leg, then lifted my hips slightly as he started thrusting in a little harder, and a little faster.

A cry tore through me at the sudden climax that hit, and I felt every inch of him as my body tightened around him, squeezing.

He swore, his cock throbbing violently as he lost control inside me.

We were both panting as the pleasure faded, but he was still hard as a rock.

He wanted more.

I did too.

“Will I ever get enough of you?” I moaned, as he moved just a little.

“I hope not.” He lowered my thighs from his shoulders. “I want you on your hands and knees.”

Lust made my lower body clench. “I’ve never been fucked that way.”

“I’ve never fucked anyone that way.”

“It’s another first for both of us, then.” I moved my hips, sliding him out of me before I rolled over to my hands and knees. The world spun again a little—I really needed to eat—but food was far from a priority.

Rhett rumbled when I lifted my ass in the air, and he gripped it in both hands. When he parted my cheeks, I sucked in a breath.

He dragged his thumb over my back entrance, using the slickness of our combined release to make the motion smooth.

My hips jerked at the touch.

“I’m going to fuck you here with my fingers, the next time I taste you,” he said, his voice low and gravelly.

“Is that a promise?”

He pressed his thumb just inside me, and I gasped at the foreign pleasure of it. “Yes.”

“I need you,” I panted, pushing my ass closer to him. “Don’t make me wait.”

His chest vibrated with his growl, and he thrust inside me a moment later, his finger still in my ass.

The sensation was too much, and I shattered with another cry, my hips jerking and my body tightening around his erection.

As I came down from the climax, Rhett gritted out, “The way you use my cock drives me fucking insane.”

“Then stop holding back.”

He snarled, abandoning my asshole to grip my backside with both hands.

He slammed into me, and I made a sound I wasn’t sure I ever had before.

My cries grew more frantic as our bodies moved together, thrusting and rocking.

When I finally lost control again, we came together.

I collapsed on the bed on my face as the final waves of pleasure rolled through me. I was still dizzy, and tired, and hungry—but none of those things mattered.

I was too blissed-out to care.

“Survival would’ve been a lot more fun if we could fuck through it,” I mumbled. “You should suggest that to Christina.

Rhett laughed, the sound free and happy in a way I didn’t think I’d ever heard him. It made my lips curve upward against the mattress. “You can suggest it yourself when you meet her.”

“Do I have to?”

“Yes. Everyone will give us a week or two to adjust to the bond, and then they’ll start bugging us. They’ll want us to take over my parents’ old place in the Society’s leadership.”

I sat up quickly, sliding off Rhett’s cock as I did. “They’ll what ?”

The motion was too much.

My world spun violently, and I had to grab his arm to stop myself from falling over.

He grabbed me, pulling me into his arms as he swore. “I should’ve fed you.”

“I don’t want food,” I mumbled back. It was a lie. I wanted food. It just wasn’t my first priority after the bomb he’d dropped on me. “Tell me about the Society.”

“I’ll tell you whatever you want to know when you’re not about to pass out in my arms, Chaos.”

He pulled me close and carried me out of the bedroom all while my world kept spinning.

Maybe that was a good call.