Page 36 of Sunny Skies Ahead (Watford Sweethearts #2)

Chapter twenty-six

Imogen

“ A re you sure you’re going to be okay?

” Abbie asked as she idled in my driveway.

I hopped out from the passenger seat and grabbed my meager bag of yesterday’s clothes from the backseat, since I was now wearing Abbie’s.

I gave her the most reassuring smile I could muster.

Bass bounded up the front steps of the farmhouse and whined at the top step, begging me to open the door.

“I’m good. Thank you again for last night. Sorry I freaked out on you.”

Abbie let out a small breath, and my heart sank.

In my panic I hadn’t stopped to consider how she was feeling about having to play babysitter last night.

That familiar shame slithered through my veins, oily and ink black, a stain that covered everything in my life and made it impossible to live somewhat normally .

“You don’t need to apologize, Im,” she said, and I noticed then how exhausted she looked. I wanted to ask her why, but I was scared to.

This is what always happened. Things would be good, and something would come along.

I feared her next words would be a criticism. Not of my reaction to Jacob’s presence, but how I reacted to Kameron. What he did.

Because the truth was, I knew that the two things were separate. I rationally knew Kameron wasn’t Jacob.

That was the nature of being triggered by past trauma—it wasn’t a random reaction.

Your body has been told one story, over and over, so when it encounters that story again, the same plot points play out—even if it’s been years since it happened.

“Hey,” Abbie said, reaching through the driver’s side window to squeeze my hand. “I’m happy to stay with you.”

I squeezed her hand back and shook my head. “Thank you. I appreciate it. But I think I need to be alone for awhile.”

There was so much crap I needed to sort through now that the haze of last night was finally clearing. Jacob. Kameron. This weird overlap in my head that shouldn’t even be there, much less affecting me in this way.

“Okay,” Abbie said, pulling her hand back. “Call me if you need anything. I mean it, Imogen. Don’t sit there and be in the bad place.”

Unshed tears sprung to my eyes, and I forced them back, opting for a shaky laugh instead of a full on sob.

“I promise I’ll call. ”

I turned towards my house, letting out a shaky breath as I fumbled in my pockets for my keys.

I could do this. I had survived worse things. Yes, my abusive ex-husband was back in town, and the man I was definitely falling in love with had punched him in the face, but I was fine. It was fine. Maybe if I repeated it enough times, it would be a reality.

The first thing I did when I got inside was to lock the door behind me. I then checked every window, every screened door, the back porch. I carefully secured every entrance point. It eased my anxiety only slightly.

Once I was certain I had locked every entrance and there was no possible way Jacob could get in here and catch me unprepared, I made a beeline for the bathroom.

I took my time in the shower, cranking the temperature up to scalding hot as I went through my painstakingly long wash day routine.

By the time I had my hair towel dried with my curl cream, I pulled on my comfiest PJ set and put the kettle on so I could spend the rest of the day in bed reading with a hot cup of tea.

I’d find a new fantasy series that I could spend the day binging and escaping into.

Kam

I’ll be here when you’re ready to talk. I’ll give you all the space you need. But don’t shut everyone else out, okay?

Let Lucas and Abbie be there for you.

Right. Weeks ago, I’d adjusted my do not disturb settings so that Kameron’s text came through. I’d told myself it was so I didn’t miss any important work-related texts, but the truth was far more complicated and messy than that.

And those two messages from him hit me like a punch to the gut.

He had to be losing his mind, trying to figure out what the future was going to look like.

Despair threatened to pull me under when I remembered Seattle was this weekend .

The presentation that could very well determine the future of Winding Road was just days away, and Kameron was spending the time he should be rehearsing texting me reminders about sorting my crap out.

God, I’d colossally fucked this entire thing up.

I spent the rest of the morning and early afternoon wishing I could sink into the couch and avoid all of my problems. I drank tea, read my book absentmindedly, stared at the wall.

I didn’t want to think about Kameron, or the terrible way things ended.

I didn’t want to consider the notion that I would never be able to fully move past the abusive relationship that had tore me down in a way I couldn’t recover from.

Which is why I was stunned when the doorbell rang. My stomach pitched. I wasn’t ready to face Kam. I hadn’t responded to his texts because I couldn’t let myself go back to that night. I was fighting tooth and nail to keep my wits about me, and Kam—

He’d always had the ability to see right through me. Which is exactly why I was keeping him far away from me.

I slid my feet into my slippers, pulled on my robe, and splashed some cold water on my face before I answered the door .

My knees went weak with relief when I saw Lucas standing there, alone, with two iced caramel crunch lattes from Blackbeard’s. My favorite guilty pleasure.

“Hey Im,” he said. “Can I come in?”

I nodded and stepped aside, not trusting my voice.

We made our way to the living room. I took up residence in my usual spot, pulling the navy chunky knit blanket Abbie’d gotten me for Christmas two years ago up to my chest. Lucas pulled out two coasters and set a latte on each, pushing one towards me.

I reached for it gratefully, taking a large sip.

“Your ex is a piece of shit,” Lucas said once we were settled.

I couldn’t help it, I laughed. This was why Lucas and I had become so close. Abbie and Connor had doted on me, asking about my feelings and telling me everything would be okay. And while I appreciated them and the care they had for me, I was barely holding it together. I needed Lucas’s humor.

“You’re telling me,” I said, grateful for the distraction.

“I almost wish Kameron had beat the guy to a pulp.”

I closed my eyes and fought to keep my breathing even.

“You didn’t actually think I’d come here and us not talk about it.”

“Lucas.”

“Imogen.”

I opened my eyes and found Lucas staring back at me.

“I can’t ,” I whispered.

“Can’t or won’t?”

Ouch . Lucas came to play hardball, and I knew there was no weaseling my way out of this conversation. This was Lucas. If I couldn’t talk to him about what I was feeling, there were few people on the planet I could.

“You have me there.”

“What are you afraid of?”

Everything . All of it. The whole fucking thing felt too big for me to hold. And it wasn’t just the incident at the bar. I could compartmentalize that event; I could distill my feelings about it down to a neat set of boxes on a spreadsheet and go on about my life as if nothing about it had hurt.

“I should also tell you that I know,” Lucas said.

“Know what?”

Lucas gave me a wry grin. “Come on now. That was a weak attempt and you know it. Let’s cut the crap. You love him.”

I averted my eyes.

“There’s no sense in denying it.”

Love. Kameron. In the same sentence.

Of course I’d thought about it. My body knew it.

It was in the way my body leaned into his nearness, the way my hand always seemed to find his, even when there was no reason for us to be touching each other.

My very bones knew it. It’s why I’d been so shocked and scared at the bar.

If I didn’t love him, I never would have reacted so severely to seeing him lose control.

“I’m scared to ask you how you figured it out.”

Lucas laughed and shook his coffee, ensuring the milk was evenly dispersed—having an unbalanced ratio of milk to espresso in his lattes was a pet peeve of his.

“I’ve had my suspicions for awhile, but I didn’t have any hard evidence to support my conclusion.

Until the night at the Roadhouse. Because after Kameron launched himself at Jacob, everyone else was looking at the two of them, but I was looking at you .

I saw your trembling hands and the way you clutched Abbie like she was your lifeline.

At first, I thought you were looking at Jacob, but then I realized you were staring at Kameron.

And I knew in that moment exactly what kind of narrative you’d written in your head. ”

“I’ve never seen him angry,” I whispered. “I know it sounds so stupid and naive of me, but I think I’d convinced myself he never got angry.”

“Everyone gets angry, Im,” Lucas said. “But Kameron would never lay a hand on you. Ever. God, he’d fling himself into space before he ever touched you out of anger.”

“I know,” I said. “I believe you.”

“You don’t have to believe me,” Lucas said.

“I want you to let Kameron explain, in his own words. Do I have your permission to invite him over here tomorrow? It’s the last day we’ll have together before we have to leave for Seattle, and I’d really prefer not to be stuck with two brooding lovesick idiots in the car. ”

“That’s rude, Lucas,” I replied, teasing. Lucas rolled his eyes and finished his coffee, setting the empty plastic cup down on the coaster.

“What’s the verdict?”

“Okay,” I said. “He can come over tomorrow.”

“Thank God.”

“What would you have done if I’d said no?”

Lucas rubbed at his chin as he considered. “Honestly? You saying no didn’t cross my mind. Because I know how you feel about him. You just needed someone to lay out all the data points. I had confidence you’d come to the right conclusion.”

“It doesn’t make you feel weird?” I said. I fiddled with a stray piece of yarn on the blanket. Bass let out a massive yawn and stretched his paws out on the couch, rolling belly-up so Lucas could pet him. “That all of your friends are in relationships with each other, I mean.”

Lucas quirked an eyebrow in my direction and shook his head. Bass whined when Lucas stopped petting him, and took it upon himself to crawl into Lucas’s lap, pressing his nose into Lucas’s side in an impressive guilt trip. Lucas sighed and resumed petting him.

“If that was the reason you guys felt like you had to sneak around at the farm, I’m sorry to inform you I wouldn’t have cared,” Lucas said. “But watching you two try to hide it from everyone was very entertaining, so thank you for that.”

I laughed. “Thanks. Always so supportive.”

“I love you both,” Lucas said, all hint of playfulness and teasing vanishing from his voice.

“Kameron is one of the best men I’ve ever had the honor of working with.

And he loves you. He would give you the world on a silver platter if he could.

Hell, if you asked him to, he’d probably make it happen. ”

I tried to laugh, but it came out as a strangled cry. Lucas patted my leg, and I rolled my eyes. Lucas had always been one of those people who ran for the hills as soon as the tears started flowing.

“I’ve got to head back to Winding Road. I’m sure Kameron is doing some serious brooding, and I live to annoy him.”

“Be nice,” I said. “He’s got a lot going on right now. ”

“I know how to handle him,” Lucas quipped.

Twenty minutes and an astronomic meltdown from Bass later, Lucas was rumbling down the gravel driveway, headed towards town. Bass whined at the front door.

“He’ll be back another day,” I said, reaching down to scratch between his ears. Bass inclined his head towards me, pressing his face against my palm. He whined again.

“Let me guess. You’re not mad about Lucas leaving. You’re upset because your Dad isn’t here?”

Bass yipped and wagged his tail. My fingers stilled in Bass’s fur.

“He’ll be here tomorrow,” I said, shaking my head to clear the anxious thoughts before they fully took root in my mind. “He’ll be here tomorrow, and everything will work out how it’s supposed to.”

I’d never envisioned having children, and I’d certainly never seen myself as a particularly maternal individual. But my words seemed to comfort Bass, based on the way he flopped belly side up and demanded more tummy scratches before bolting off in the direction of his toy basket.

Everything will work out how it’s supposed to.

That sentence became my mantra for the rest of the day.