Page 73 of Summer Showers at Elder Fell Farm

No Swingers

Reluctantly, Harry handed over the phone to Amy and slunk away from her, towards his dad and Laurie. Amy easily found the messages he’d been sending to his father; at least one every day, sometimes more.

Thers no trampoleen. Toilets are gross and I fell in sheep poo.

Where was your mother when you fell in the sheep poo?

Putin up the tent. She dont know how so we had to use Oliver’s pegs. Mam said bolicks. I hat it here can I come to your house now? Its raining and cold and I hat it.

I’m sure it will be better in the morning. Who is Oliver?

Oliver is in the campervan.

I fell over going for a wee in the night and I had to wear Olivers P J Mars.

Where was mum when you fell over? Why wasn’t she with you? Was she with Oliver?

Going to the toilet. Can I come to yours now It still raning. When r we going to Floor idea?

Amy continued to read as fast as she could, while James and Laurie talked very quietly with lots of gesticulating and consulted James’ phone, presumably looking over the same conversations, stopping occasionally to ask Harry a question. There was lots of headshaking and denial from Harry.

We send botes to granny and Oliver said it was stupid and I hit him by accident with a stone and he made a rihgt fuss and he hit me to. Then we played stiking our hed in the water game. Its raining again, can we go to Flowride now?

Oliver hit you?

Yes. Hes a bolicks. I hat him.

‘I can see why you might have got the wrong idea if you thought Oliver was a grown up,’ she said glancing up towards James, who refused to meet her eye.

‘Does Oliver hurt you often?’

‘Ye all the time. We got back and some peple said they wanted a hook up and got cross and then they did sex!

‘Oh my God,’ Amy didn’t know whether to laugh or to cry. ‘So you thought the campsite was for swingers or something?’

James and Laurie were pretending not to hear her. That was one of Harry’s favourite tricks too; he must have inherited it from James’s side of the family.

‘Don’t be stupid, mam, it’s not for swingers, there’s no swings — not even a trampoline!’ Harry said.

What campsite are you staying at? Is it a special grown-ups' campsite?

Ye its for grownups no kids stuff. Ded boring. I want to go home. Oliver burst mum’s air bed playing bonky bonky. I saw him do it.’

‘Oh my God. Harry!’

‘What?’

There was no point in telling him off; he didn’t even know what he’d done. ‘Why couldn’t you have told your dad about any of the good things? Like the deer or exploring?’ she said weakly.

‘I did,’ he said, matter-of-factly. ‘Look, here!’

We went to the vally with Oliver and bilt a dam and saw deer. It still ranning. Oliver called mam some bad names.

Why did he call your mum bad names?

They was snoging in the bedrum she say it wasnt a one night stand up but it was.’

Did you see your mum in bed with a man?