Page 33 of Summer Fling (The Kingston Brothers #5)

Chapter Twenty-One

Dalton

I wasn't sure how I got through the rest of the night. I cooked a kid friendly meal of mac and cheese and hot dogs, cutting them small enough for Lilliana. Then I covered a plate for Blake and put it in the fridge for her because she hadn't come out of her room.

I went to bed feeling like I'd screwed up. We'd talked about this being our plan all along. She'd pretend to be my girlfriend and then my fiancée so that I could fight for custody of my daughter. Why was she backing out now?

What about that phone call had changed her mind? The only conclusion I came to was that she didn't want to help me. That she didn't want to be by my side.

I shouldn't have to do it on my own. I expected her to be there for me.

I was better with her by my side, supporting me. Isn't that what a real girlfriend would do? Sure, asking her to pretend to be engaged might be a step too far, but we could have talked about it. Maybe negotiated something. Instead, she was hiding in her room.

I was supposed to be giving her the space she requested, but I was worried that the more space I gave her, the further she'd move until she was gone all together. Was I pushing her away?

Then I remembered my plan was to push her away, to encourage her to go back to school. Maybe this rift was a good thing. She'd be so mad at me that she'd leave and finish her education.

I was a mess, and I didn't want to brood all day, so I texted Mom and said we'd be there for dinner today.

I didn't want to hang out around the house. Maybe I should get used to the idea of Blake not being here. I could plan for the mediation better that way. Then I wouldn't be in a state of suspended hope.

I could move on and plan my life accordingly. But then why did it hurt so much to think about her not being here?

I made cheesy eggs for Lilliana, then let her play in my bedroom, closing the door so she wouldn't disturb Blake. Then I jumped in the shower. When I got out, the house was quiet and Blake's door firmly shut. I arrived at my parents' before the rest of the family.

"You didn't invite Blake?" Mom asked when I arrived in the kitchen with Lilliana.

"She had some things to do," I said cryptically. She was doing some thinking about our future, and I couldn't hang around while it was in the balance. I wouldn't survive it. I felt unsettled and antsy. I couldn't see the positive right now.

Her forehead creased. "Is everything okay with you two?"

Should I tell her the truth? "Ashton called yesterday. Oakley wants to schedule the mediation soon."

"That's good, right?" Dad asked from his spot at the table where he was drinking coffee.

I gave Lilliana to Mom. "Yes, but he wanted us to pretend we were engaged."

Mom frowned. "Why would he want you to do that?"

I blew out a breath. "He's the one who suggested that we pretend to be dating. He thought it would make me look more stable than Oakley, and it would fend off her complaints about me having a woman living with me."

Mom set the knife down. "Are you saying that you aren't dating Blake?"

"It started out as an act but quickly turned into something real. Or at least I thought it was."

Mom exchanged a look with Dad. "Are you in love with her?"

"I am. But I don't know how she feels about me."

"You both seem happy whenever we see you. I never would have thought it wasn't real," Mom said as if she was trying to work out this development in her head.

"She thinks pretending to be engaged for the mediation is a step too far."

Dad cleared his throat. "If the court finds out you've been lying, that won't be good for you either."

"I hadn't thought that far. I assumed we'd pretend to date, then go our separate ways.

But when it became real, I worried about what was next for her.

Would she return to the mainland to complete the doctorate program?

Then when I saw her teaching that class yesterday, I knew she was on the right track.

I shouldn't hold her back. I can't ask her to stay. "

"That's noble of you," Mom said simply. "But is that what you want?"

"This is her future."

"What are you going to do about the mediation?" Dad asked.

I sighed. "I think I'm going to plan for her not being there. I can say we broke up or something. Blake seems to think I'll be fine without her there."

"I have faith in you." Mom patted my hand, and then Lilliana mimicked her. Everything I was doing was for her. I should be focused on her and the mediation. Not worried about what was going on with Blake.

I pulled Lilliana into my lap, breathing her baby scent, her curls tickling the scruff on my chin.

"You have to do what she's comfortable with," Mom said reasonably.

"I promised myself I wouldn't hold her back. And if pretending to be my girlfriend and living here isn't good for her, then I'll let her go," I said, sounding more confident than I felt.

"She'll have to make a decision about whether she returns to her doctorate program or stays here. Personally, I'm hoping she stays because her class was delightful. I'd love to take some more."

"She can always come back," Dad added, but I wasn't so sure about that.

She'd return to her school and remember all the reasons why it was a bad idea to get involved with a single dad with an erratic ex. She'd find some other guy who had less baggage than me. I was never her endgame. I was a summer fling.

I'd helped her figure out what she wanted in life, to finish her degree, and whatever happened after that was up to her. I wouldn't stop her.

The front door opened, and I heard the sound of footsteps running on the wood floor.

"L!" Henry yelled as he ran toward us.

I let Lilliana down so that they could greet each other.

They hugged, which was cute. I was glad that I lived close enough to family so that they could grow up together.

Family was what mattered. Girlfriends came and went.

Just because I thought I was in love with Blake, didn't mean she felt the same.

Dad handed Hudson the platter of burger patties. "Can you get this started on the grill? Everyone will be here before I know it, and they'll be starving."

"You got it," Hudson said, waving at me to join him.

I had a feeling he wanted to talk to me about the awkward situation he'd found himself in the middle of yesterday. Hudson hadn't said anything when I asked him to go outside and unpack the truck while I checked in on Lilliana.

But I saw him talking to Blake for a few minutes. I was curious what they talked about.

It was warm outside. No sign of summer ending except for the ever-expanding pit in my stomach.

"How are things with you and Blake?" Hudson asked, setting the patties one by one on the grill.

I grabbed the back of my neck. "Did she tell you what Ashton said?"

He raised a brow. "That he wants you to pretend to be engaged?"

I nodded. "He thinks it will make me look more stable."

"And what does Blake want?" he asked.

"She doesn't feel right about it."

"So what are you going to do?"

"I'll have to go in there myself and hope it's enough."

"Not that my opinion counts for much in this situation, but I think you'll be okay. You've changed a lot since Lilliana was born."

I looked away. "What if what I want is Blake standing by my side because it helps me?"

Hudson glanced over at me. "You want her support."

"Yeah, and it sucks that she won't be there."

"Have you told her how much it would mean for her to be by your side? That she doesn't need to be your fiancée. It's for you, not the case?"

"We haven't talked since Ashton called." It felt like an argument. One I wasn't sure we were going to come back from. "But it's for the best. She's going back to her doctorate program and moving on with her life."

Hudson frowned. "Is that what she decided to do?"

"That's what she should do. It makes the most sense."

"What about the interest in her art classes? She's just going to walk away from all that?"

"I don't want to be the one who influences her not to finish school. It's what her parents want too." I was doing the right thing.

"You ever think that she should do what she wants, not what you or her parents desire?"

"That's what I'm doing."

"It doesn't sound like it."

Irritated, I said, "She can't stay because Lilliana or I need her. She has to stay because she wants to."

"Ah. That makes more sense. So you haven't talked to her about how you feel?"

"I don't want to influence her decision to stay or leave."

"You should talk to Marshall. This is what he struggled with last summer when Saylor was going back to her job in Jacksonville. He was afraid to tell her how he felt, so she left. Then he had to run after her and fix it. It worked out for them, but it doesn't mean that you have room to play with."

"She won't talk to me. She's holed up in her room."

He raised a brow. "And you ran here the first chance you got?"

"I wasn't going to stick around the house hoping she wanted to talk. It was driving me crazy."

"Do you want to be happy?" Hudson asked as he placed cheese on half the patties.

"Of course I do. But I can't even think about that until this custody stuff is over with." There was a lot of stress associated with it, and I wasn't sure I could fully focus on Blake with it going on.

"You're putting this situation with Oakley above your relationship with Blake. Is that the right move?"

"How do you figure?" I was tying myself into knots because of what was going on with Blake.

"You left her alone at the house. You didn't talk to her, and the first chance you got, you ran. Now you're planning on doing the mediation without her. You're shutting her out."

"She doesn't want to be involved," I said stubbornly.

"That's not what she said, and you know it."

"She said she didn't feel right about acting like my fake fiancée at the hearing. Therefore, she doesn't want to be there at all."

"You've got all kinds of things linked up that shouldn't be. One does not mean the other, and you might have figured that out if you'd talked to her."

"I'll talk to her tonight."

He crossed his arms over his chest. "What if it's too late? What if she decides that you don't want her here, and she leaves."

Panic clawed at my throat. "She wouldn't leave without telling me."

"How can you be so sure?" Hudson said simply, and suddenly I wasn't feeling confident.

If she didn't feel right being my fake fiancée, maybe she didn't feel good about being my girlfriend anymore either. Maybe my time had run out, and it was too late to fix things.

If she left, I wouldn't be able to follow her. I had the mediation to prepare for, and I couldn't be far from Lilliana. I needed to be nearby in case Oakley couldn't care for her or didn't want to.

Now that Hudson mentioned it, I felt uneasy about the situation, but I couldn't leave. I'd only just arrived, and Lilliana was having a great time with my mom and Henry.

Blake wouldn't leave without telling me. Then there was the voice in the back of my mind reminding me that this is what I wanted. To give her the space she needed to pursue her degree. I wouldn't hold her back.

I should be okay with letting her go.