Page 114 of Summer At Willow Tree Farm

Had that really been less than a week ago? How could everything have changed so much since then? The sure solid joy in her heart that she had made the right decision to challenge Dan, to see if she and Josh could stay at the farm, was tempered by that bone-deep longing she had steadfastly refused to fully acknowledge until now.

But which had stuck around for nineteen years in some small shadowed recess of her heart, ready to jump out and force her off course again this summer.

Her foot settled on a branch as she approached him and the crack as it broke had Art swinging round to face her. He didn’t say anything as he turned away from her, then knelt on the bank to dip his bruised knuckles into the cool water.

She winced at the thought of his suit being ruined, but that wasn’t why her pulse was battering her collarbone as he swept his hand through the water.

‘Why did you punch Dan?’

‘Because he’s a wanker.’ He brought his hand out of the water, flicked it, scattering drips onto the white shirt.

‘That’s not an answer.’

He shoved his injured hand into the pocket of his suit trousers. ‘What are you doing here? Shouldn’t you be tending him? He’s your husband, isn’t he?’

She heard it this time, beneath the bite of sarcasm, the judgemental frown, the definite whisper of jealousy.

‘We’re getting a divorce,’ she said.

‘Then why are you going back to the US with him?’

‘I’m not, Josh and I…’ She paused, not sure how to explain it, as nothing was settled. ‘I’m hoping we’ll be able to stay. If that’s what Josh wants.’

‘You’re staying? For Josh?’

She tilted her head to one side. Was that hope she could see alongside the surprise? Or was it just a trick of the dying light?

‘Yes, I’m hoping to. But not just for Josh. For my mum too, and my friends here, and the shop, obviously. And for Toto,’ she added. ‘I think it will be good for her to have another woman around the place.’

Instead of protesting that she’d overstepped the mark again, he stayed silent, watching her in that intense way that had always unnerved her.

‘But, most of all,’ she continued, ‘I’m staying for myself. Because I like living here. I like being part of something that feels solid and worthwhile.’ Family. She liked being part of a family, that was more than just her and Josh. ‘And I know I can contribute so much to this community. I like that too.’ She stopped talking.

And I like you, a lot, you big dolt.

She wanted to say it, but she couldn’t get the words out. She needed something from him first. Some sign that she wasn’t making a great big tit of herself again. That the reason he’d punched Dan signalled as much as she hoped it did.

He loosened his tie, and undid the top button of his shirt, his gaze dipping to the ground then away across the pond. But he didn’t respond, the muscle in his jaw just below his ear lobe twitching.

‘I hope that’s not going to be a problem for you,’ she added.

‘No, but…’ The low words disappeared into silence.

‘But what?’ She had never been good with pregnant pauses, unlike Art.

His chest expanded, making the starched cotton stretch across his pectoral muscles. The movement accentuated the broad, hard body she was going to have a devil of a time not expiring from want of in the next few weeks and months if he didn’t come through now.

‘But that’s not all I want to know,’ he finally said, once the uncomfortable silence had stretched far enough to be heard on the dark side of the Moon.

She waited. He didn’t elaborate.

‘You’re going to have to ask me what else it is you wanted to know because—’

‘What about us?’ he cut in.

‘What about us?’ The whispered question choked out, bringing with it all the yearning needs and wants and desires that had assaulted her in the last few weeks, hell the last few months, and which he had stopped her from articulating five days ago. ‘I thought you said there was no us?’

Her breath seized to a halt. The anticipation painful.