Page 56 of Suddenly Mine
Christian hesitated, a thought needling itself into the back of his brain. This encounter had been so unexpected. His dad had always been one to launch straight into an argument, to avoid any kind of emotional exchange. But he was being so open, so honest.
It’s because he’s dying, Christian thought, chasing the unbearable words away with a shake of his head. But it was true. Nothing made you more honest than death. Nothing made you more open to reconciliation.
Nothing made you more desperate.
“Oh God, Dad. It’s not Margot, is it?” Christian said, the realisation like a flashbang going off inside his skull. “Oh, Dad, no. It’syou. You’re paying people off. You’re bringing down the store.”
His dad didn’t look at him. He just stared at the fire, his sad eyes full of reflected flames.
“But why, Dad? It doesn’t make any sense.”
Only itdidmake sense. It made an awful kind of sense.
“It was the only way,” Lewis said after a moment.
“The only way to bring me back,” said Christian. “But you could have just asked. You could have just opened up to me.”
“I did ask,” said his father. “I asked a hundred times. I just didn’t ask the way I should have. Then it was too late. I knew thatyou wouldn’t come back for me, but that you might come back for the store. Let’s face it, in some ways it was more of a parent to you than I ever was. It sheltered you, it cared for you, it was always there for you.”
Lewis sighed, then turned to Christian. A tear wound its way over the wrinkles of his face and Christian watched it, aghast. He couldn’t ever remember seeing his father cry before.
“I’m not trying to kill the store. I was never going to let it get that bad, at least I tried not to,” he said. “I just wanted you back in my life. I don’t know how long I’ve got, and I just wanted the chance to see you again, to make it all okay. And you’re here, which means so much to me. You’re here, and you care — about me, about the store, about everything.”
“Of course I do, Dad,” Christian said. “Always. I love you.”
“I love you too, son,” his dad said, opening his arms. Christian held his father, feeling how weak he was, hearing the rattle of his lungs as he breathed. He was shocked, and there was a trace of anger there at what he’d just discovered, but it was drowned by the force of the love he still held for the old man. His head was full of memories flowing into his mind like a dam had burst — memories of trips to the park, to the zoo, out on the boat on the river. Memories of his mum and dad lifting him up between them in the autumn, the falling leaves like flames. And memories of Christmas, those early years when he’d woken up in the morning and found his father cooking breakfast in the kitchen, a mountain of presents beneath the tree.
His dad was right — there had been good times. But Christian had been so focused on the bad that he’d forgotten them.
“I want you to take a long, hard look at yourself, Christian,” Lewis said, coughing into his oxygen mask. “I want you to ask yourself what you’re really running away from. And I want youto think — really think — about whether there is something here, in this family, in this city, in this store, that is worth staying for.”
Christian started to reply, but something kept the words from coming out. He took a deep breath, thinking about his family — how only his dad remained. He thought about the city, a city that had once offered him so much hope, and he thought about the store. Whatwashe running from?
“I want you to be happy, and to be happy here.” His dad went on. “It’s not much to ask, is it? Let’s make this a new start. This is the last chapter of my life, son, so let’s read this one together, please?”
Christian looked down at the fire, feeling the warmth of it against his skin, losing himself in the flickering flames. If he could just make it work with Merry, then being happy and being here, in New York, wasn’t much to ask at all. He was tired of travelling.
He took a deep breath, making a decision right there.
“I’ll stay.”
For his dad, for the store, and for Merry.
Chapter 25
MERRY
Merry packed everything she needed for the ball carefully in her holdall and skipped across town, arriving at work five minutes early — which had to be a record for her. She hung the dress in her locker, giving the handbag a quick kiss before changing into her uniform. She hadn’t heard from Christian at all since they’d parted, but then they hadn’t even exchanged numbers yet. Or surnames.
Which was weird, given what they had already exchanged.
It made her pause for a moment, one shoe half on, as the reality struck her. They’d flown into each other’s lives like a toboggan run and part of her was worried they’d movedtooquickly, that they should slow things down a bit.
But part of her just wanted to ride with it. This had been her Christmas wish, after all, and it seemed that Santa had granted it, bells and whistles included.
The schedule told her that she was on greeter duty today, which she wasn’t too sad about. Another day on Jewellery might have been the end of her. Putting on her itchy Santa hat, she made her way downstairs and offered a beaming smile to the first few customers of the day. There must have been something honest about it because it was contagious. People looked at her and smiled back, their happiness providing a warmth that easily countered the cold.
Just after eleven, she heard a familiar rumble of wheels and she turned to see Christian behind her. It was all she could do not to pounce into his arms.