Page 21 of Suddenly Desired (APEX Billionaires’ Club #2)

ELLIE

They drove in silence, but Ellie’s mind was an orchestra of noise. The tune was a chaotic one, every thought playing out of time:

He kissed me.

I kissed him back.

He touched me.

I gave myself to him.

He told me he couldn’t do this.

What the hell just happened?

She exhaled sharply, pressing her fingertips to her temples in a futile attempt to calm the chaos. The urge to open the window was overwhelming, and when she finally did, the hot, heavy air from outside hit her like a slap. But at least it was real — she needed real right now.

“You okay back there?” asked Alfie. She nodded at his concerned expression in the rearview mirror.

It was a lie, of course. She wasn’t okay at all.

She was about as far from okay as it was possible to be.

This had to be a world record, even for Ellie Mae: falling for someone and getting her heart broken, all in the space of twenty-four hours.

Pull yourself together , she told herself, staring at the blur of the city as it whizzed past. She couldn’t let herself spiral. Not over this.

Not over him.

Sure, what they’d done in the lift had felt like something out of a movie, all-consuming and impossibly perfect.

But it didn’t mean anything — did it? Kisses like that didn’t guarantee a happy ending.

They didn’t erase all the obstacles between them.

Blake had said as much. He’d made it clear that his life was a mess and that now wasn’t the time for . . . whatever this was.

Maybe what had happened had been a result of emotions boiling over. The secrets, the tension, the adrenaline from Nate’s revelation. Maybe all it had been was a crack in the dam, a release they both needed.

Ellie leaned her head back against the seat, closing her eyes briefly.

She couldn’t let herself get carried away.

She had never believed in love at first sight.

She’d always been methodical and reasonable when it came to feelings.

You had to take the time to make sure you were compatible, otherwise there could only be disaster ahead when you realised you had absolutely nothing in common.

No. She wouldn’t make the same mistake again.

But Blake wasn’t Josh.

That thought landed like a stone in her chest. It was true.

Blake didn’t pretend to be anything he wasn’t.

He didn’t talk down to her or try to make her feel small.

If anything, he’d done the opposite — he’d listened to her, really listened.

He’d made her feel seen in a way that she hadn’t felt in years.

But that didn’t change the facts.

Blake Fielding was on a whole other planet compared to her.

They came from such different worlds, it could never, ever work.

He was rich, he was famous — infamous , now.

He travelled the world in private jets and in cars like these.

He lived for his work, gave everything to Heartbook.

And as for her? She was perpetually broke, she waited tables in a coffee bar, she was hopeless at relationships, and she was cursed.

Her dreams would never be anything more than dreams.

Ellie had not always believed she was cursed, but when disaster kept following her around like a shadow, her friends had teased her about it so much that they’d given it a name.

The Ellie Mae Curse. She always seemed to miss the bus by seconds, and when she took a biscuit from a pack, it was always broken.

Her queues were always the slowest and her tables always seemed to be wonky.

Then came the bigger things: the landlord who sold her flat just as she was getting settled, the dream job as a magazine columnist that she had been this close to landing, only for them to go with someone else at the last minute.

And, of course, Josh — the biggest mistake of them all.

Every time she let herself believe that something good was finally happening, the rug was yanked from under her feet.

And now, just when she had started to believe things could be different, Blake had kissed her .

. . and then walked away. The Ellie Mae Curse had struck again.

She should have known it was going to. It always did.

She opened her eyes, catching her reflection in the window. Her hair was slightly mussed, and her glasses sat slightly askew on her nose. She looked as frazzled as she felt.

“Get a grip, Ellie,” she muttered under her breath.

“Say something?” Alfie glanced back at her again.

“Nope,” she said quickly, managing a small smile. “Just talking to myself.”

He nodded but didn’t press further, and Ellie was grateful. She sighed. Despite the sunshine that poured into the car, the world seemed a whole lot darker than it had twenty minutes ago.

When Blake had kissed her, it felt like the universe had shattered into a million stars, a supernova of emotion detonating inside her.

She’d never experienced anything like it — not even close.

With her exes, there had always been hesitation, second-guessing.

Should I be kissing him? Am I doing this right?

Does he even like me as much as I like him?

But with Blake, there had been no hesitation, no self-doubt.

Her mind had gone blissfully quiet, filled only with the sheer intensity of him.

The moment their lips met, everything else had evaporated — the chaos of what was unfolding at Heartbook, even the lift itself.

There was just him. His lips and roaming hands had made her melt. It had felt so real.

But he’d pulled away. And who could blame him? His entire world was crumbling around him, and she was just . . . Ellie. Ellie Mae Woodward, a woman who had spent the last twenty-four hours falling for a man she had no business falling for.

She shook her head, forcing herself to focus on the present. She needed to get her head out of the clouds and back on solid ground. Daydreaming about Blake wouldn’t solve anything.

The car slowed as they neared her street and Ellie felt a pang of relief. She needed to be home, to decompress, to sort through the mess in her head.

As Alfie pulled up to the kerb, she gathered her bag, pausing for a moment before opening the door. “Thanks for the ride.”

“No problem,” Alfie replied. “Take care of yourself, yeah?”

She nodded, stepping out of the car and into the warm evening air. The sound of the Maybach pulling away lingered in her ears as she made her way up the steps to her building.

She pushed through the stairwell door and headed into her flat, knowing as soon as she smelled coffee brewing that she wasn’t on her own.

Seeing Josh was the last thing she felt like doing, but where else was she supposed to go?

At least here she could disappear into her room and cry away the rest of the day.

If she was quick, she might even get there before he spotted her.

“Ellie?”

No such luck .

She closed the door behind her. Josh was standing in the living room, by the window, his arms folded over his chest.

“Oh my God, Josh, can you just leave?” Ellie felt her nose sting.

“It’s my flat too, remember,” Josh huffed. “In fact, whose name is first on our lease? Mine. And, by the way, whose car was that?”

“Are you spying on me?” She walked into the kitchen area, poured a glass of water and took a deep drink, but it did little to make her feel better.

“You wish,” he spluttered. “I was just admiring the view when that monstrosity pulled up. Let me guess, it’s something to do with that Blake person? I knew there was something going on there.”

“That’s none of your business, Josh,” she said. “Blake’s just a friend.”

“Sure,” he sneered. “You looked pretty cosy for friends. Ask me, he got what was coming to him when that drink was poured over his head.”

“Nobody asked you,” she shot back, slamming her glass on the counter. “For your information, he was interested in LifeWrite. He thinks it has potential. That’s why we were meeting.”

It was a lie, of sorts, but at least it would stop Josh’s stupid questions. He unfolded his arms, his face wrinkling.

“He’s interested in that ?” he said. “Your half-baked social media idea? Come on, Ellie. I know you’re naive, but just think about it. Haven’t you heard the news, haven’t you seen the things he posted? He’s just using you.”

Ellie felt her blood boiling, her head whistling like there was steam coming out of her ears. She was so angry her fists were clenched, and she had to force herself to relax them.

“Why don’t you think he would be interested?

” she asked, meeting Josh’s eye and holding it.

She thought of Blake, of the way he had spoken to her as an equal, of the way he had praised her ideas.

It gave her the strength to continue. “You never believed in me, never thought it would work. But I’m smart, Josh.

You did your best to convince me otherwise, but you know it as well as I do. I’m smarter than you.”

He snorted, sneering at her like she was a madwoman.

“Blake told me it could work. He even said he could help me make it happen. And no, not because he had another agenda, thank you very much, but because he saw what I see — he saw how important this could be.”

Josh held out his hands like she was a runaway horse. “Whoa,” he said. “Don’t get your knickers in a twist, Ellie. He really said that?”

Ellie took a breath and nodded.

“He really said he would help you?” Josh said, licking his lips. “Like, give you the money?”

“No,” she said. “Not like that.”

And not at all, now , she thought. Blake had enough on his plate. She doubted he’d have the time to help her launch LifeWrite.

“We should do it, then,” Josh said, walking to the other side of the counter. “I helped you with the original plans. We should try to make it happen.”

It was Ellie’s turn to snort. “You helped ? All you did was criticise.”

“Exactly,” he replied, smiling. “That’s how good teams work.

If I’d told you how great everything was, you would never have tried to make it better.

I was criticising you for your own good, the same as with your hair, your physique.

That’s what a good man does. He pushes a girl up to her full height, and makes her the best she can be. ”

Ellie screamed inside her head, walking out of the kitchen. She barged past Josh, heading for the bathroom. What she really needed was a glass of wine and a bath — preferably together.

“What?” said Josh. “Don’t you dare cut me out of this, Ellie. I was there for you all those years when you were making LifeWrite. It’s as much mine as yours.”

She walked into the bathroom, ready to slam the door behind her.

Josh was standing in the kitchen, looking at her with an expression of pity.

“Poor Ellie,” he said. “Don’t you see it?

You’re nothing without me. I made you, and I was always there for you, even now.

You might think you can do better than me, but I promise you there’s nobody else out there who will love you like I do.

Nobody else who will stick by your side like I will.

Blake Fielding might be a billionaire, but he’s no Josh Bigsby.

And deep down, Josh Bigsby is the man you love.

” He smiled that arrogant smile of his. “Go have a wash, then we’ll talk about the future.

Because a future with me is what you deserve. Nobody else will be there for you.”

Ellie shut the door on him, leaning against it and doing her best to hold back the tears — tears of anger, yes, but tears of sadness too, and tears of resignation. Because if today had told her anything, it was that Josh was probably right.