Page 14

Julian

My job was filled with ups and down, and today proved the point. Gracie went home right away on my shift, having gained enough weight and showing all the signs of thriving. We gathered around while her parents left with big smiles on their faces. Not all cases were like that, but it was a fantastic start to the workday.

And for me, personally, a much-needed break from my thoughts. I hadn’t heard from Andreas since the other night. Two, maybe three days? My schedule had been hectic, so the days sometimes blurred together. I’d taken two double shifts to try to distract myself, but even that didn’t help. I’d overanalyzed every moment we had together. Every look. Every brush of skin on skin. Every touch.

I couldn’t understand what went wrong. I shook off the thoughts that I’d done something to offend him that night, but they played in the back of my head anyway.

“Everyone, head’s-up. We have a preemie coming in. Twenty-eight weeks. Delivery is happening now. Less than thirty minutes, from what I can tell.”

“Julian?” Peaches said. She already had six babies, even with Gracie leaving.

“Yeah, I’ve got it.”

After setting up the incubator, I went outside the unit to scrub my hands even though they were already clean. The nurses at the labor-and-delivery desk directed me to which room needed assistance. I opened the door to screams and put on a pair of gloves in preparation.

Baby Joshua was born a few minutes later at a little under two pounds. Dad had some high blood pressure and swelling, so I brought Joshua in a rolling cradle straight to the NICU. He already had an oxygen mask on, simply for the transport.

I focused on him. Cleaning him up. Settling him into an incubator with an IV for fluids. I would wait on the feeding tube for nutrition, giving the dad a chance to try to chest feed. Soon Joshua had a mint-green hat on his head and a clean diaper on. He was clean and his breaths had become more rhythmic. I held him for a few moments as I always did. Going from a warm place he’d stayed in, to a plastic incubator was a hard transition, so I tried to make it as calming as possible. “Here you go. It’s nice and warm in here, and all you have to do is concentrate on growing while your papa gets better. You’ve got this.”

“You always give the babies a pep talk. I love that.” Peaches came to stand next to me. “We’ve been doing this so long, but every baby is like the first one, isn’t it?”

I nodded. It was. I took care of each baby as though it was not only the first one but like they were mine. I’d always wanted kids. I even had thoughts of Andreas being the father of said babies—that was until he played the early morning card and subsequently ghosted me. It took everything in me not to text him first.

“It’s their first time in this world. It has to be difficult. Everyone needs a pep talk now and again.”

“That’s true. Hey, I’ve been wanting to ask, are you okay?”

“I’m okay. Why?”

Peaches shrugged. “You seem a little different today. You’re here, but you’re not. I’m not saying anything negative. You always get everything done, but I can tell.”

I shrugged. “I kind of got ghosted by a guy I really liked.”

“But not your mate?” Peaches was human, but she once had a shifter mate. It was rare to have a human nurse working in a shifter hospital, but she was allowed, given her history. She also had three half-shifter children. She knew our ways. It was part of her as well.

“Is it weird that I’m not sure?”

“Not sure?” Her eyebrows rose.

“My wolf was howling like he was. I’ve never had that happen before, but the alpha blew me off. I haven’t heard from him since our second date.”

One of the alarms on an incubator went off, and she rushed over instead of responding. One of her babies was desaturating, oxygen levels dropping. It happened once in a while. Sometimes babies were born without their lungs fully ready to take on the outside world for one reason or another. That’s what we were here for.

The evening was filled with healers and parent visits. Some babies were in the NICU so long that their parents went back to work and had to juggle working and visiting their babies. It had to be hard for them. Some parents came in for feedings as often as they could but had to be supplemented with bottles. As long as they were fed and were growing, it didn’t matter.

Being so busy had taken my mind off Andreas for the most part. My watch notified me that I had a text come in, but it was soon forgotten as the chaotic night went on. Part of me wished it was him, but another part of me wanted to ignore it, to forget about him.

The last part might’ve been impossible.

I got home in the wee hours of the morning, exhausted from head to toe to the point of not even caring. After a long hot shower, I went to bed and plugged my phone in the other room. No Wi-Fi. No notifications. No texts coming in.

Perhaps when I woke up, the thoughts of Andreas would be long gone, and I wouldn’t find myself pining over him.

He certainly wasn’t pining over me.