Page 13
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
L indsay’s reaction was pretty much what Xav figured it would be. She stared at him in shock, her beautiful green eyes filled with incredulity.
What she’d do next, Xav wasn’t certain. Swing around and walk off in scorn? Whack him upside the head and ask him what the hell he thought he was doing?
It was Lindsay’s choice to accept the claim or tell him to leave her be and never come back. Which was what she wanted, right?
Xav knew what he wanted. Lindsay obviously assumed he’d dump her as soon as things grew complicated, but she assumed wrong.
After a few seconds of silence, while Xav and Lindsay fixed on each other, everyone else in the house—except Eric, Neal, and Tiger—erupted into noise.
Brody let out a “Woo!” that rattled the windows. Iona shrieked and leapt upward with cat grace, punching the air. Cassidy sped straight to Lindsay, lifted her off her feet, and spun her around.
“Oh, Lindsay, I’m so happy for you.” The two ladies shared a tight embrace, Lindsay still bewildered.
Carly cheered with Iona, both of them joining Cassidy in a collective hug that swayed back and forth.
Eric had left the couch at some point—Xav never saw when—and now laid his strong hand on Xav’s shoulder.
“Well done,” he said quietly. “Welcome to the family.”
Xav was technically already in the family via Diego, but Eric’s grip conveyed a multitude of meanings. He was Lindsay’s leader. If Xav did one thing to hurt Lindsay, he’d have to answer to Eric, even more than to Lindsay’s parents, as Neal had posited. Eric took his job as protector seriously.
Big cats might look peaceful when lazing in the sunshine, but they were deadly, deadly creatures. Never forget that, Eric’s solid grasp told Xav.
Diego moved to Xav’s other side, as protective of his brother as Eric was of his Shifters. Diego was smiling, however, happy.
Tiger, who also wasn’t one for shouting or dancing around, gave Xav a quiet nod. The big man turned and left the celebration, his glance at his own mate as he went the most loving thing Xav had ever seen.
Only Neal had remained calmly in the dining room on a chair he straddled backward. “You might give her a chance to answer,” he observed.
The ladies unwound from Lindsay, all grinning, and tried to calm themselves, without much success.
“He’s right,” Cassidy said breathlessly. “But you two have been heating things up, and you scent-marked him, Linds. What are we supposed to think?”
Scent-marked? What the hell?
Diego looked as startled by Cassidy’s announcement as Xav was, but Eric seemed pleased by this and relaxed his grip.
Lindsay gazed imploringly at her well-meaning friends. “Give me a minute.” She turned to Xav, beautiful eyes wide. “All right? Let me clear my head and think.”
“Okay.” Xav shrugged, pretending it didn’t kick his ego that she didn’t instantly burst into grateful tears and say yes . “This is important shit. Don’t get caught up in the excitement.”
Xav shouldn’t either, he reminded himself, though he didn’t regret his spontaneous mate- claim one bit.
Not that spontaneous, actually. Xav realized he’d been contemplating this move for a while, even if he hadn’t admitted it to himself.
Diego remained at Xav’s side after Eric finally moved off. Diego didn’t try to advise Xav or make any observations—he simply quieted the rest of the room with his patient gaze.
“We have a mission to run,” Diego reminded them. “A hostage to find. Plenty of time for Lindsay to think while we carry on with it. Can you two work together without imploding?”
Lindsay straightened her back and wiped her eyes. “Of course. There’s a job to do.”
Xav wasn’t so sure he wouldn’t try to throw Lindsay over his shoulder and run off with her, but he nodded. “Sure. We can compartmentalize.”
Diego’s answering look held skepticism, but he didn’t push it. “All right then. If Brody will quit doing a conga line by himself, we can continue.”
Brody pirouetted in place, which was weird to see in such a big guy, then he clapped his massive hands together. “Sweet. Let’s do this.”
Lindsay said nothing. The glance she shared with Xav didn’t reveal her decision, but it seared Xav to the core. This was, as he’d said, important shit.
No turning back now.
* * *
Eric resumed the briefing, but the mood in the room was electric, the Shifters and Carly barely containing their excitement. The ladies and cubs surrounded Lindsay, carrying her in their bubble to the kitchen where much laughter ensued, probably at Xav’s expense.
Tiger didn’t return. As Xav knew what Diego and Eric were going to discuss, and Lindsay’s friends had taken her over, he slipped out the back door and sought Tiger.
The large man stood in the middle of the common area, staring at nothing. Tiger often did this, so Xav didn’t find it alarming.
Xav joined him, gazing around what had once been plain houses on barren lots that the Shifters had transformed into cozy homes. While Xav liked the house he’d purchased, with its luxurious fittings in the kitchen and bathrooms, it was very empty. There was a reason he found excuses to visit Diego in Shiftertown every evening, even beyond a chance to be with Lindsay.
“When I was a kid, I lived in a close community like this one,” Xav said, whether Tiger was listening or not. “None of us had any money, but we all had friends. Everyone’s mom looked after everyone else’s kids, though we didn’t realize it back then. I landed myself in lots of trouble, but I knew, beneath it all, that my friends and family had my back.”
Tiger didn’t answer. Xav figured he was lost in his own thoughts, until Tiger surprised him by turning his head and looking straight at Xav.
“This is the first place I saw after Iona rescued me,” he said. “I’d never seen so many Shifters together, and none of them in cages. Eric let me stay in his basement, because I had a hard time getting used to being outside. I hadn’t realized the world was so big.”
“Yeah.” Tiger’s early existence had been bleaker than anyone could imagine. “I remember when they brought you in.”
“They were afraid of me, the other Shifters,” Tiger rumbled.
“I remember that too.” Xav sent him a rueful grin. “So was I. You have to realize, no one had ever seen anything like you.”
“I know.” Tiger shrugged, unoffended. “I thought there would be nothing for me here except existence. When they sent me to the Austin Shiftertown, I thought the same. And then I met Carly.”
Tiger’s golden eyes softened, the brutal, very dangerous Shifter becoming the mate and father again.
“You knew right away, didn’t you?” Xav asked him. He’d heard the story of how Tiger had found Carly broken down on the side of the road, and how she’d ended up assisting him , in all ways.
“I did.” Tiger gave Xav a nod. “Carly argued with me about it, and the other Shifters said that wasn’t how mating worked. It wasn’t mate-bond-at-first-sight, they told me. But it was.”
“You’re a special Shifter, though.” Xav glanced at the house where he could see Lindsay in animated conversation with the other ladies in the kitchen. Hands waved, bodies quivered in laughter. “I’m not a Shifter at all.”
“But you know Lindsay is the one.”
“I think she is, yeah. I do care for her. A lot.”
Tiger regarded him steadily. “Humans never want to say exactly what they are feeling. Even Carly.”
Xav huffed a laugh. “Because we’d all kill each other if we did. Look at what kind of shit goes on in social media. Not to mention face-to-face fights when people get drunk and lose their inhibitions. I was a cop for a while and saw it every day. The best thing humans can do, most of the time, is shut the fuck up.”
Tiger listened without changing expression. “You are speaking about anger and fear. I mean the deepest emotion of all, the tightest bond. It embarrasses you, so you pretend it doesn’t matter.” His eyes turned dark golden. “It does matter, and it should be talked about more than anything else. Shifters know this.”
“Lindsay is Shifter, and she never mentioned the mate bond, or anything else regarding mating, until Graham more or less forced her to.” Xav folded his arms, trying not to let her confusion at his mate-claim hurt him. “She didn’t exactly leap to accept my offer in there.”
“She did not expect it,” Tiger said. “Lindsay is more guarded than most Shifters, because she grew up mostly alone. Not as alone as I did, but it takes a while to understand how to have a conversation.”
“You’re doing pretty well,” Xav observed. “When you first came here, you had a hard time forming sentences.”
Tiger nodded, again without offense. “I never had to speak much before. Iona and Cassidy helped me. Then Liam and Kim and their family did. Carly has helped me most of all. When I realized that she’d been there waiting for me, all the time I was in the cage, it made the darkness go away.”
Xav blinked as moisture crept into his eyes. “I’m glad she was, big guy.”
“She didn’t know it. Neither did I. Shifters would say the Goddess knew, but I think it’s even beyond that. We were made to be together.” He focused his acute gaze on Xav once more. “So are you and Lindsay.”
“I’m not sure she wants that,” Xav said with regret. “She’s being forced into this choice, but I think she’d prefer it if I vanished, so she can go back to her carefree life.”
Tiger shook his head. “She does not understand or believe, but you are mates. You must make her believe it.”
Xav grimaced. “Sure, like I can convince Lindsay do anything she doesn’t want to. Growing up an only cub has made her more independent than anyone I know.”
“ I am independent. I need no one, can survive in impossible places all alone. That does not mean I want to.”
“You have ties now,” Xav pointed out. “You have Carly, Seth—who gets cuter every time I see him—and your daughter. Now your son-in-law and a grand-cub on the way.”
“Yes.” Pride surged in Tiger’s eyes. “But I could survive physically if they were not here, as can you without Lindsay. You are very strong, for a human. That does not mean you should, or that Lindsay should survive without you . Carly likes to say we are two halves of a whole, better together than we are separately.”
“Good way to put it.” Xav felt a twinge of envy. He’d sensed that connection between Diego and Cassidy, Leah and Martin, and the other Shifters and their mates. He understood why Shifters sought the mate bond, but Lindsay had never seemed to.
“You and Lindsay are two halves,” Tiger stated. “Make them whole.”
Xav raised his brows. “Is that an order?”
Tiger considered, then gave him a nod. “It is a good order, so yes.”
“The thing is, I agree with you.” Xav heaved a sigh. “But how do I convince Lindsay?”
“She already knows. You need to persuade her acknowledge it.”
“I think that’s what I just said,” Xav growled in exasperation. “Any tips on how? From an expert?”
Tiger regarded Xav for a long moment before he shook his head. “You need to figure it out for yourselves. Now, I must return to my mate.”
Without another word, Tiger turned around and marched toward the house.
Xav imagined gossamer tethers that surrounded him and Carly, pulling them together whenever they were too far apart.
“Some pep talk,” Xav muttered to himself. “I have exactly the same information as when I started out.”
“No, you don’t.” Tiger’s voice floated back to him. Xav forgot the big man had amazing hearing.
And also, Tiger was correct. Maybe Xav did have more information. If Lindsay really wanted to be with Xav but for some reason feared to let herself, he could work with that.
Xav knew one thing for certain—he hadn’t made the mate-claim lightly. He’d meant it. He wanted Lindsay in his life, for real and forever.
If she truly didn’t want to accept, no matter what Tiger said, then Xav would make a clean break and walk away for good, which would mean avoiding Shiftertown as much as possible.
He’d never be able to be around the other half of his whole without feeling the wound of being torn from it.
Graham and his Lupines were right, Xav realized. Xav and Lindsay needed to fuse together or be completely apart. No in-between about it.
* * *
Lindsay had never been mate-claimed before. She hadn’t been prepared for her wildcat’s surge of triumph when Xav had said the words, the howl of glee that had wanted to escape her lips.
If she’d been in lynx form, she’d have dragged him off and made this mating official, in the most basic way.
As it was, with everyone standing in Eric’s living room watching her, Lindsay’s mouth had gone dry, and no words would come to her. Her conflicting emotions were all over the place, rendering her mute.
Fears had poured at her. First, she expected a bunch of Graham’s Lupines to charge in and wait for her to accept so they could make the Challenge. She wasn’t sure saying yes was the best thing for Xav’s health right now.
Eric and Xav both were focused on this mission, so no mating ceremony would happen until it was over. Graham apparently was holding off his wolves for now, but Lindsay wanted to make sure the window between accepting and the mating ceremony would be small.
Also, Lindsay was still terrified the mating would not mean to Xav what it meant to her. She’d seen, in her previous Shiftertown, what had happened to a Shifter couple when one of the pair formed the mate bond and the other did not. It had been tragic and frightening.
The one who hadn’t formed the mate bond spent a lot of time reassuring his mate that it didn’t matter. Then he’d met a female Shifter he did form the mate bond with—both of them had—and he’d instantly gone off with her.
No one blamed him, including his mate, because mate bonds were sacrosanct, but the woman he’d left had folded in on herself. She’d gone back to her family, trying to carry on with her life, but she’d been broken. Lindsay had kept in touch with her clan when she’d moved to Las Vegas, and she’d learned the woman had found another mate, but no one mentioned whether that mate bond had ever formed.
Both had been Shifters in that case. There was no telling what would happen between a Shifter and a human, the humans in this room who’d formed the mate bond notwithstanding.
Even if the mate bond was not in question, Lindsay refusing Xav would keep him from Graham’s bullying Lupines. If she rejected Xav, they’d have no reason to Challenge.
Either choice might break Lindsay’s heart, but a rejection would at least keep Xav safe.
As Lindsay had dithered, speechless for once, Neal had noticed her hesitancy and reminded everyone that this was her choice, that she needed time to answer. He seemed to understand the problem more than the others, but then, he’d been gazing at Keira, the once-feral wolf Shifter, with bleakness in his eyes for a while now.
Not that Iona, Cassidy, or Carly had backed off. They’d pulled Lindsay into the kitchen for a celebratory beer and relived, in hilarious detail, how they’d reacted when their guys had mate-claimed them.
“Eric told me the mate-claim was necessary,” Iona said, ice-blue eyes full of merriment. “For my own protection, of course. Nothing more. Sure, sweetie .”
“Everyone was so scared of Tiger,” Carly recalled with a fond sigh. “They couldn’t see how vulnerable he was. How gentle. Not that I raced to accept the mate-claim—I had no idea what the hell he was talking about.” She laughed.
These ladies exuded happiness. They might have been startled or bewildered when they’d been mate-claimed, but they’d done what they’d needed to in order to be with the one they loved. Didn’t matter if that one was Shifter or human, fierce leader or terrifying tiger.
Shifter rules and rituals had been incidental. The mate bond had not.
Lindsay shivered. The warmth in her heart had only grown since she’d first noted it, spiking high when Xav had announced his mate-claim. It knew what she should do.
Once the rest of her could get her shit together, she’d know as well.
Diego popped into the kitchen. “Time to roll. Coming, Linds?”
“See, Diego lets me make my own choice,” Lindsay said as she took up her backpack. “He doesn’t go all command-y and protective-y.”
“I am not getting in the middle of this.” Diego moved to Cassidy, dropping a kiss to her mouth that promised passion when he returned.
Cassidy rested her head on Diego’s shoulder. “Be careful, love,” she whispered.
“Always.” He slid his hand down to rest on Cassidy’s abdomen. “Nothing will keep me from you, querida .”
Lindsay realized she was staring at them, the Shifter in her drinking in their deep affection for each other. Carly and Iona had already retreated—Lindsay heard them in the living room having similar conversations with Tiger and Eric.
Lindsay closed her mouth, deliberately turned her back, and let her best friend have this moment alone with her mate.
Xav, Brody, and Neal were coordinating in the dining room. Lindsay marched up to them and inserted herself into the conversation.
“Where do you want me?” she demanded.
Xav’s warm smile flashed fire through her, and Lindsay flushed as she realized her unintentional double-entendre. Xav didn’t appear worried at all that Brody watched with high amusement, and Neal didn’t disguise his Shifter nosiness.
“We’ll talk about that when we get back,” Xav said. “For now, stick with Tiger. You and he are doing recon, but the minute we find people who might shoot, you retreat. Got it? I’m not risking you.”
Lindsay shrugged. “Sounds like a good plan.”
Xav’s smile vanished at her easy capitulation. He didn’t trust Lindsay wouldn’t do something impulsive, and he was right. If she needed to jump into the fray to keep Xav from being hurt, she would.
Lindsay gave into one of her impulses now. She stepped to Xav, never minding Brody and Neal, hooked her hand around the back of Xav’s neck, and pulled him to her for a hot kiss.
When she eased away, Lindsay had the satisfaction of seeing Xav mystified. She gave him a little smile, shot a thumbs-up at the interested Brody and Neal, and sauntered away.
* * *
She was going to drive him insane, Xav thought. But a part of him decided he would enjoy it.
Lindsay insisted on riding in the SUV Xav drove, which was fine with him. Easier to keep an eye on her. She hopped into the back seat instead of the front, which was also fine. Xav would only be distracted by her curves and her sparkling smile if she sat next to him, and he’d need to concentrate on the drive.
Tiger and Brody rode in Diego’s vehicle, but Neal joined Xav with two other DX guys chosen for the mission. They’d meet with more backup when they reached Death Valley Junction.
They timed the drive so that if they had to explore Death Valley itself, they’d enter it just as early evening cooled the land. Darkness wasn’t an issue, because DX Security tech let them see all kinds of things at night, and Shifters didn’t need light or gadgets to track their prey.
Lindsay didn’t speak much during the drive, but then, neither did anyone else. Neal and the two men saved their energy for the hunt, and Lindsay peered out the window as though she had no interest in looking at Xav.
Xav’s next conversation with her alone would be interesting. That is, if they gave themselves time to talk. He could think of much better things to do with his mouth.
He truly needed to settle this mate-claim, so every thought of her wouldn’t be a distraction.
No, Xav would never be settled with Lindsay. Things would be as volatile in the future as they were now, no growing staid and comfortable once she accepted his claim.
Sounded good to him.
They crossed into California and reached Death Valley Junction in a little over an hour, meeting up with three other SUVs about a mile west of town.
One of the vehicles held AC, retrieved from the cabin. If they found Dean alive out here, he might be less terrified if he saw his brother among the geared-up men in black fatigues.
It also contained Emma, who’d bundled herself into a bulletproof vest and a warm hat against the now cold wind. Brody stared hard at her when she approached to be briefed.
“You look like a longshoreman who’s expecting trouble,” Brody rumbled.
Emma’s eyes narrowed. “ You look like a biker dude who’d rather be home watching TV.”
Brody gazed down at his leather motorcycle vest and black T-shirt covering his hard stomach in surprise. “Of course I would. Bears like to be warm.”
Emma turned away with the scorn only she could, and Xav suppressed a laugh. Brody had no idea who he was tangling with.
They firmed up their plans, then the SUVs fell in behind Xav’s as they rolled toward Death Valley.
Before they reached Furnace Creek, which held museums and accommodations for tourists, Xav turned onto a dirt road that wasn’t on most maps. Neal, who had an electronic tablet in his hands, guided Xav to the area where they suspected the helicopter had landed.
The place they reached was remote, dry, and swiftly darkening. Land rippled in folds toward the distant, soaring mountains, and fell in the other direction to white salt flats of ancient lakebeds. With the sunset staining the sky a vibrant fuchsia, the vista was breathtakingly beautiful.
Also deadly for the unprepared. Xav’s troops checked over their water, rations, gear, and clothing, from bulletproof vests to packed warm coats for the coming chill and boots solid against rocky soil. Everyone had an earpiece for communication, Lindsay tucking hers in without comment.
AC remained in a vehicle, his hands tied again, under the supervision of Emma and Neal. Neal had been correct about the man being docile. AC sat without fuss in the locked SUV, watching out of the dark window.
Twilight didn’t linger. Soon, it was almost completely dark, stars emerging in the blue-black sky. Then even the hint of gold on the horizon vanished, and the temperature dropped. Xav zipped up his jacket and hiked toward the coordinates Neal had sent to his tablet.
His men fanned out, blending into shadows, becoming invisible against the terrain. Tiger, who didn’t bother to blend, marched directly through the area Xav and Neal had pinpointed, Lindsay in his wake.
Diego joined Xav in a wide, dry riverbed near the lower slope of a steep, rocky escarpment. A second ridge rose on the other side of the flat area, a couple hundred feet away, a small canyon carved out by a long-gone river.
“Good pilot to be able to set down here,” Diego observed, and Xav nodded.
After about twenty minutes of searching in an ever-widening circle, they at last found the telltale signs of a chopper—the unmistakable indentations of the landing skids and ripples of dust blown by the blades.
“Well, we were right that they were here,” Xav said. “But where did they go? We found no trace of them beyond this,” he finished in frustration.
Lindsay pivoted, a puff of dust rising from her boots. “We need to check over there.” She pointed to a black shadow in the crevice of the closest ridge.
Tiger lifted his head and sniffed the air. “Yes.”
Lindsay started off, and Xav jogged to catch up with her. “Carefully,” he growled.
“It’s all right.” Lindsay didn’t break her swift stride. “Someone’s in trouble.”
Before Xav could argue that she couldn’t possibly know that, the unmistakable sound of a human voice drifted toward them. It was weak, cracked, and desperate.
“Help me.”