Page 14 of Strap In

The harder Jean tries to avoid Ava, the more frequently their paths cross.

First the closet debacle. Which meant Ava was scarcely earlier than Jean to the keynote.

She’s sat two rows in front, head bent over a notebook, oblivious to Jean’s gaze as she takes fervent notes.

The talk’s not bad – an international human rights lawyer enthusing about infinite possibilities contained within the legal framework.

Her stories are compelling, sprinkled with celebrity titbits from her high-profile cases.

And Jean remembers that earnestness, how it had fuelled her years of study like liquid hydrogen in a rocket.

But – like all her peers – Jean had quickly jettisoned optimism; ironically, holding on to hope had a way of manifesting the worst possible outcomes as a junior associate.

Cool pragmatism has served her well over the years.

Jean wouldn’t have made it over the first hurdle, never mind this last jump, with that millstone dragging her down.

Yet the speaker’s sincerity needles at Jean until she’s forced to look away.

There’s no harm in letting Ava hold her attention while she’s oblivious to it.

Ava, who has held on to that optimism with both hands, even though it limits her potential.

Ava, who is determined to use the law for good rather than material gain.

And perhaps that’s part of her appeal: the path not taken.

There’s no other reason for Jean to be aware of her every movement as Ava stands to applaud; gathers notepad and pen; fishes the schedule from her bag.

Jean makes a beeline for the exit, swift enough that there’s no possibility of Ava catching up with her in the corridor.

Her earrings swing with every stride, pearls bumping into the column of Jean’s neck.

A spot Ava never misses in their foreplay – and Jean has taken Coco Chanel’s advice of dabbing perfume there, where she expects to be kissed.

She’d applied it this morning without thinking.

But no. Today’s not about passion. At least, not the personal kind. Jean is here to put her best foot forward; to represent the firm. Her firm. The sooner she can shake off the strangeness of her morning, the better.

A voice calls her name, low and melodious, unmistakably male.

Jean halts, turning to watch Robert Blake approach.

With his snowy hair and beard, that ever-expanding belly, Rob’s appearance puts Jean in mind of Father Christmas.

And Rob certainly plays up to the image, turning on the paternal charm.

But there’s a canniness to him, a knack for extracting more information than you’d ever intended on revealing, that Jean greatly admires.

She leans in to accept a whiskery kiss on the cheek. ‘Rob! It’s good to see you.’

With seventy fading in the rearview mirror, Jean had wondered whether the university might finally oust him – but Robert has never mentioned retirement in her hearing, and Jean suspects he’ll be teaching until he drops.

He’s lost nothing of his usual Machiavellian sparkle.

‘You’re just the woman I was hoping to run into. Tell me, is Peter here?’

‘He’s with a client, but I’ll tell him you said hello.’

Rob’s eyebrows climb. ‘Very interesting, given Peter once told me this event was an annual highlight. But it does mean you’re even better suited to my purposes.’

‘That sounds ominous.’ They step closer to the wall, still amid the steady flow of delegates.

‘Not at all. And it works out rather nicely for DDH on the corporate social responsibility front.’

‘Now I’m really worried,’ Jean says, not entirely joking. But then, in the not-so-distant future she’ll have absolute control over what to delegate.

‘Don’t be – in fact, I suspect you’ll enjoy this challenge. She’s like you, Jean; never opting for the path of least resistance. There she is!’

He waves. If Jean was remotely superstitious, she’d suspect the universe to be having a laugh at her expense. But there’s nothing fated about this meeting with Ava – it’s only the product of an old man’s machinations.

Ava’s smile speaks of unguarded pleasure as she takes in Robert – but then she catches sight of Jean and her expression freezes. Behind Rob’s back Jean widens her eyes, nodding almost imperceptibly towards him.

Ava approaches, not looking at her. ‘Robert! Thanks so much for having me here toda—’

He waves her words away. ‘Don’t thank me yet.’ Then Rob steps aside, ushering Jean closer to Ava.

And for a wild moment her eyes dart around, searching for any possible way out of this. She recognises Imogen in the surge of bodies and instantly dismisses the idea – bringing the most perceptive of her friends and her sex-acquaintance together would be a disaster.

So, Jean has no choice but to stand and smile as Rob speaks. ‘Meet an old friend of mine: Jean Howard. She’s a partner at Decker Dennings and Howard.’

Sensing Robert’s gaze on her, Jean holds out a hand. Doesn’t betray so much as a flicker as that familiar tingle travels from Ava’s fingertips through the barrier of Jean’s skin. ‘Pleased to meet you,’ she says, unable to apply her usual pressure.

Ava too is gentle, thumb brushing Jean’s knuckles in a subtle caress as she pulls away. Robert carries on with the introductions, and Jean scarcely hears over the thunder of her own pulse.

‘This is Ava Harris,’ he says. ‘She was one of my most promising students, fully living up to that potential by setting up her own non-profit for an urgent cause – but Ava can explain it all much better than I do.’

‘That sounds wonderful, Rob. But I’m due in the Wren Room – unless we hurry, we’ll be late for our next sessions. It’ll have to wait.’

‘Actually, Ava’s heading there too.’ Rob beams, not like Father Christmas at all, but someone just handed the biggest present under the tree. ‘I hoped you might take her under your wing, Jean – few rival your corporate law expertise, and your connections couldn’t hurt either.’

Christ on a bike . Which is more unethical: to mentor the woman she’s fucking, or withhold assistance like some penalty for their sexual relationship?

It’s not a dilemma Jean could have foreseen.

And her mind’s still reeling from their encounter in the closet, too dazed to puzzle it out.

Ava won’t meet her eye, but Rob’s still watching Jean, expectantly.

‘Let’s talk it over on the way to our session. ’

‘Splendid!’ Rob claps his hands together. ‘My work here is done – I’m off to brush up on property law. Until later, ladies.’

He travels in the opposite direction, effortlessly parting the dwindling crowd. And Jean speeds off in the direction of the Knowledge Exchange session. But Ava doesn’t fall into step beside her. When Jean looks back, she’s exactly where Robert left her, all earlier certainty gone.

‘Are you coming?’

Ava jogs after her, still not looking at Jean when she catches up. ‘Sorry, I had no idea you were the person Robert wanted me to meet.’

Jean shrugs. After her earlier slip towards Glenn Closean tendencies, she’s keeping it mellow. Collegiate, even. ‘There’s no way either of us could have known.’

They’re silent for a long moment, passing a cluster of panicked junior associates arguing over the map. Ava stops to help them puzzle it out, but is seemingly just as confused. Huffing a sigh, Jean pulls the sheet from her hands and points them in the right direction.

They make it to the Wren Room with moments to spare.

Bernard Crane’s facilitating, one of Henry’s old colleagues from his stint at Maddox Waring.

And he’d been kind to Jean, back when she was still performing the role of Wife, asking interested questions about her own career; even intervening when Greg Waring asked pointed questions about when she and Henry planned to start a family.

Of course, it did nothing to bridge those long silences on the journey home, nor to stop Henry walking round looking like a kicked dog after the inevitable argument – but Jean appreciated his solidarity all the same.

Jean’s pleasure at seeing him is sincere, if undermined by Bernard’s arrangement of the room: all around, chairs have been set in distinct pairs.

The intimacy of one-on-one teambuilding exercises is excruciating to Jean.

Ava weaves between them, heading for the board where the delegates are clustered.

And Jean asks Bernard how he’s enjoying life at the top of Maddox Waring. Henry never shared his ambition, nor Jean’s – yet, since it was Henry who brought them together, the conversation inevitably turns towards him.

They make plans for dinner and a proper catch up, Ava lingering all the while, watching for a gap in their conversation. With a grin, Bernard turns to face the other delegates.

‘Welcome, everyone, and thank you all for coming! I’m Bernard and today I’ll be taking you through some teambuilding exercises designed with two goals in mind. The first is to have colleagues across all stages of their careers engaging with one another – a Knowledge Exchange.’

He catches Jean’s eye then, as if reading her mind, and the corners of her lips twitch upwards.

‘And the second is to strengthen our communication skills. In law, being able to connect with people, reading them and responding appropriately, is at the heart of what we do.’ Bernard gestures towards the chairs.

‘We’ll be working in pairs today. If you haven’t already, check the board to see who you’ve been allocated.

You have precisely three minutes to find them and take a seat. ’