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Being undercover was her job, and yet Farah couldn’t settle into this new role. Rohan , however, was a natural. She reached for a goblet and some liquid to coat her throat, but as she gulped it, she realized too late it was wine.

Farah found herself coughing again, her eyes watering. Someone took the cup and replaced it with another. This time, she tested the contents. The moment she found it was water, she let the cool liquid slide down her throat. She dared to lift her gaze only when she had herself under control.

She hadn’t heard anything as she was hacking up her lungs, but Rohan had obviously said something. Everyone at the table was focused on him. Farah , too, found her gaze locked on his profile. His blinding smile and easy manner mesmerized her, but his laugh took her aback. The sound was warm and genial, so at odds with the man she had seen before. It seemed Rohan had many sides. What other things might he be hiding?

Farah caught herself and looked away. Her eyes clashed with Rashmi’s . She was the only one who looked at her instead of Rohan . Farah was sure she hadn’t given anything away, but it was still unsettling. For her part, Rashmi wore a soft, almost wistful smile as if she knew something Farah didn’t.

Thankfully , the conversation turned to other things. Farah went back to her food while studying those around the table. Out of everyone, the sight of the male Sea Elf was the most surprising. She wanted to ask how he and the very pretty, petite blonde by his side had met. The adoring looks they shared made something pull in Farah’s heart. Their hands were joined on the table like they couldn’t get enough of each other.

She knew love existed. She had seen it. But …this was something different. It was unbridled and visceral, electrifying and sweeping. Almost as if their love was so great it couldn’t be contained. And they weren’t the only ones. She observed the other couples and found varying degrees of the same. The passion, the all-consuming desire.

The longing.

What would it feel like to have a love like that? To crave someone that deeply and have them return that need? When Nitya vanished, Farah had stopped thinking about any kind of life ahead. Everything revolved around finding her sister. Farah had lost more than her future. She had lost friends who hadn’t understood why she couldn’t accept what had happened. She distanced herself from others—including her family—because it was easier. And if she wasn’t close to anyone, then it wouldn’t hurt so deeply if she lost them.

What had she gained from such drastic and damaging actions? Absolutely nothing but loneliness and soul-breaking solitude.

A round of boisterous laughter pulled her from her thoughts. She glanced at Rohan to find his head back as he chuckled. He fit in well, and his ease while pretending was far above hers. He’d make a good agent. Not that he would work for the DIA . He wanted nothing to do with elves, but he didn’t seem to hold a grudge against any non-humans at the table.

“ Oh , I have it,” Halima said. “ The first kiss. Remember ours, baby?” she asked Rashmi .

Rashmi caressed her face. “ Do I ever.”

Farah stilled. Obviously , she should’ve been paying attention.

“ Aye . A kiss means everything,” a human man at the other end of the table said.

A male Wood Elf on Farah’s left turned to the woman beside him. “ After ten years, I still sweep Khushi off her feet.”

Then , he promptly demonstrated by pulling her against him and kissing her passionately. It was filled with such yearning that it made Farah uncomfortable to watch them. But she couldn’t look away. That longing pulled at her heart again.

The table erupted in cheers when the two ended the kiss, each breathless, their eyes glittering with desire.

As if on cue, each couple took turns kissing. Unease filled Farah as she watched it happen around the table. Rohan’s celadon eyes cut to her for a heartbeat. She kicked his foot to get his attention, but he wouldn’t look at her. Panic began spreading through her. She would make a scene if she got up and left. But if she stayed, she’d have to kiss Rohan .

An image of hard sinew and broad shoulders flashed in her head, followed by him carrying her up the cliff. Then him falling asleep with his head on her lap.

She realized everyone was looking at her, waiting. Her training told her to just go with it. They were playing characters. If he could so easily slip into his role, so could she. She had done much worse than press her lips against someone else’s. But that someone hadn’t been Rohan .

Heat stole through her when she felt his gaze. She turned her head to him. He wasn’t smiling anymore. She sat frozen, her heart thudding in her chest as he leaned forward. The tips of his fingers touched her neck before sliding around to the back and threading into her hair. Then his mouth was on hers.

His lips were soft as they touched hers once, then twice. The third time he angled her head to the side and ran his tongue along the seam of her mouth. She parted her lips instantly, and his tongue slid inside to tangle with hers. She was unprepared for the riot of emotions that assaulted her, one after the other.

Blood rushed in her ears, silencing the world around her. Passion heated her veins and pooled at her center, turning into a needy ache. She was defenseless against his skilled mouth as he deepened the kiss. She reached for something to hold on to—and found him. Thick shoulders, strapping arms. And a hard chest. Every nerve ending sparked, making her body hum. When she felt him pulling away to end the kiss, she leaned toward him, not wanting the amazing feeling to stop.

Then , suddenly, his lips were gone. She blinked as cheers deafened her ears. But Rohan wasn’t looking at her. He had dropped his arm and turned away, causing her hands to fall from him. She righted herself, still dazed and bewildered by her reaction. The couple next to her spoke. She forced a smile but couldn’t make out their words. Her brain and body were still locked in that kiss. A kiss she hadn’t wanted. A kiss she believed she would regret.

But it was now seared upon her memory.

She wanted to touch her lips, but she kept her hands in her lap, just smiled and nodded. She even managed a laugh to keep up appearances, pretending they shared kisses like that all the time. Yet inside, she was alternatively trying to forget it and relive his touch and taste, over and over.

The meal went on for an eternity. When it finally ended, all she wanted to do was bolt. Instead , she and Rohan joined the others to help with the cleanup. At least with everyone involved, it went quickly. She was in her head and just wanted to be alone.

Drying her hands from the washing, Farah looked around and found Rohan walking outside with some of the men. Just as she was turning to retreat to her bedroom, she found Rashmi standing there.

“ Everything all right?” the Sun Elf asked.

Farah nodded, plastering on a smile. “ It’s just been a long day. I didn’t get much sleep last night.”

“ Then you’ll want to retire to your room early. But first, let me show you something.”

She wanted to decline, but how could she? They had welcomed her and Rohan into their home. The least she could do was see what Rashmi wanted to show her. “ Of course.”

They fell into step together as Rashmi led her out of the kitchen. “ I hope we didn’t overstep. We can be a lively bunch.”

“ It was fine. Really .” It was so far from fine that it was in another universe, but Rashmi didn’t need to know that. Neither did Rohan . As a matter of fact, it was better if they never discussed the kiss.

Rashmi shot her a grin. “ I’m glad to hear it. I’m also glad you two decided to stay at Amberstar .”

One of the things she hated about going undercover was encountering someone she liked but having to lie to keep herself and them safe. Farah couldn’t think of a reply, so settled on a smile.

They fell into silence as they left the main building and entered a covered walkway leading to another structure. Large , smooth arches supported by thick columns were adorned with embellishments from the seven elven races as well as those of the humans. She paused beside a column with a winding leafy vine with flowers.

“ There are over thirty columns,” Rashmi said. “ That isn’t the only one dedicated to the Wood Elves .”

Farah was so enamored with the etching in the stone that she didn’t look away for several minutes. When she did, it wasn’t to focus on the other columns, the etched walls extending above the arches, or even the carved ceiling. It was to take in the two pools of water and the sunlight spilling in to touch them. The largest was rectangular and sat to her left, surrounded by columns. The smaller was a square to her right. The floor was tiled with stone decorated with geometric patterns. Benches and daybeds overflowing with cushions and pillows were in the back amid more arches. And plants were everywhere she looked.

“ The smaller pool is heated by a geothermal spring. I’ve left some drying towels and soap for you.”

Farah swiveled her head to Rashmi . “ This place is…”

“ I know,” the elf said. “ Enjoy it for as long as you like. No one will disturb you.”

“ Thank you.”

Rashmi smiled before turning on her heel and leaving. Farah didn’t waste time getting out of her clothes. She found a bench near the small pool and placed her garments there so they wouldn’t get wet. A tray of woven leaves sat at one corner of the water, filled with various soaps and bottled scents. Next to the tray was a basket with drying cloths.

Farah walked down the steps leading into the pool and descended into the water. The warmth was heavenly. It was a shallow pool, with water that only reached her thighs, but a built-in bench along the inner edge allowed her to sit and submerge herself up to her neck. She rested her head against the stones and let her muscles gradually ease.

Thoughts of Rohan and the kiss tried to invade, but she shoved them away. This was her time. She didn’t want to think about the past or the future. She just wanted to be in the now. In the moment. She didn’t have to pretend to be someone else or feel a certain way. She didn’t have to guard her every word. She was just Farah again.

And that was something to enjoy.