Page 14 of Storm of Blood and Shadow (Merciless Dragons #3)

I spend hours in the forests and fields of Ouroskelle, foraging with the other women for berries, mushrooms, cresslily stalks, wild carrots, onions, edible roots, and starchy potato-like tubers. Some of the dragons hunt while the others accompany us women, warning us away from poisonous vines and plants, steering us around the dens of the voratrix or the lairs of fenwolves, and keeping us from sinking into bogs in the low-lying areas of the island.

I enjoy the work. Movement has always soothed me. Without it I grow restless, anxious. Yesterday, when Varex left me in the seaside cave, I was forced to be idle, so I napped in the sun like a cat. But I made up for that rest with a long night of sex.

Other women might be worried about becoming pregnant with eggs, hatchlings, hybrids, or whatever the fuck—but in my case, that’s not a concern. There’s a reason I let Varex fill me with his cum, over and over.

When I began my service as a palace dancer, I underwent a physical examination by a healer who informed me that I’m basically infertile, that it would take a miracle for someone with my internal differences to conceive. She never explained the precise nature of those differences, and I was so shocked at the time that I didn’t press for details. I’ve often wished that I’d asked more questions.

At the time, her pronouncement felt like a benefit. I could have as much sex as I liked without taking contraceptive herbs afterward. I took full advantage of that, and I’ve never gotten pregnant. There’s no reason to believe that dragon cum would be any different.

At one point during the day, I venture into a shallow gulch to gather the cresslily stalks growing in the rainwater that has collected there. I’m bending to pull a stalk free when I notice something sticking out of the mud.

It’s a dragon claw, curved and sharp. I rinse it quickly, wipe it on my skirts, and tuck it in the pocket of my dress before anyone notices that I found it. No matter what the future holds, having a weapon in my possession isn’t a bad idea.

When we return to the cavern with our supplies, all of us are weary—but it’s the pleasant kind of exhaustion born from fresh air, sunshine, and healthful work.

Varex returns shortly after the foragers do. I notice his presence the moment he lands in the courtyard, but I don’t seek him out right away. A dragon called Ashvelon brought us more supplies—soap, clothing, blankets, and more—so I go with the other women to bathe in the cavern pools.

When I emerge from the cave, clad in a soft green gown, I feel Varex’s gaze like the glowing heat of the sun. He watches me help with dinner preparations, and even though he is occupied with the reconstruction of the damaged barrier, I sense the magnetic force of his attention and his desire, focused solely on me.

As a dragon he’s exquisite—sleek and elegantly formed, sinuous as a serpent and graceful as a cat. He’s intelligent and charismatic, a born leader with a talent for gracious words. Even though he’s more soft-spoken than many of the other dragons, their respect for him is obvious, and it’s not solely because of his status as a prince. They respect him for his character, his kindness, and his wisdom.

I hate that he’s everything I want. I hate how many times my eyes stray to his form, how my fresh underwear dampens as I watch the surge of his powerful muscles beneath the gleaming black scales. I shouldn’t be sexually attracted to a fucking dragon. I can’t let all his good qualities blind me to the most important flaw—the fact that he took me against my will and refuses to set me free.

By now, my sister and her children could be dead. My brother might have been killed. Or worse things could be happening to all of them—rape, torture, unimaginable cruelty. And here I remain, on this beautiful island, wandering through lush grass under the warm spring sun, breathing clean air tinged with the salt of the sea. I’ve been yielding my body to the male who claimed me, giving him exactly what he wants, when I should be striving to escape.

Is Varex really as wonderful as he seems, or am I being foolish? Is the charm, the gentle speech, and the kindness meant to soothe me into submission? Am I following the same pattern I’ve fallen into before, where I mistake temporary pleasantness and false praise for genuine beauty of soul?

Am I really fucking a monster?

When the meal is ready, some of the women gather their portions and return to sit with their dragons. Others are swept away by their captors to distant caves where they will spend the night. I haven’t seen Princess Serylla today, but I’ve noticed Gweneth growing cozier with a dragon, and the tall knight who gave me the healing tablet seems to have attracted two of the males, while a third watches her hungrily, glowering from the shadows.

While I’m taking a portion of food for myself, setting it in the center of a huge leaf, Varex comes to me in the firelight, his amber eyes aglow and his ebony scales gleaming. “Will you come with me?” he asks simply.

To give myself a moment to think, I pop a chunk of meat into my mouth. It’s hot, and the grease burns my tongue. I whimper at the pain, but I refuse to spit out the food.

Varex cocks his horned head, confused. “Are you alright?”

“Mmm.” I manage to chew and swallow the burning bite. “I’m fine.”

If I return to his cave, I’ll fuck him, one way or another. My body doesn’t care which form he’s in.

“I shouldn’t go with you,” I whisper, half to myself, but he hears me.

He dips that wickedly beautiful head of his and blinks those reptilian eyes lazily at me. “Come with me, darling. I’ll be your captive for the night. You can do anything you like to me.”

I cast a sidelong glance at two of the women nearest the fire. They’re pretending not to listen, but judging by their half-suppressed smiles, they’ve heard everything. One of them nods encouragingly to me as if to say, Go with him .

Over by the wall, there’s a flash of light and a cry of surprise as one of the dragons transforms into a human.

It’s beginning again.

Varex looks at me, renewed urgency in his eyes. “Please.”

“Fuck it,” I exclaim. I fold the edges of the large leaf around my food, tie it up with two long pieces of grass, and tuck the packet into my bodice before climbing onto his back.

“Varex, you shouldn’t fly right now!” shouts one of the dragons as Varex leaps into the air. He disregards the advice and soars over the barrier, carrying me away from the firelight and the comparative safety of the enclosure.

“Are we going to your cave?” I ask.

“Too high, too far, too risky,” he says. “We’ll go to the hollow where I took you that first night. I can stay lower to the ground on the way.”

He flies so fast I want to scream, but the wind rips my breath away. We streak above treetops gilded with the last light of the dying day, then bank sharply upward, skimming above rocky outcroppings.

I feel the shudder of his bones, the vibration that signals the impending change. Varex roars, pushing forward with a final effort, sending us streaking over the lip of the hollow. As he dives low, aiming for the thick grass, his body shrinks beneath me, turning human again.

We tumble into the grass together, me on top of him, my packet of food flying into the grass a short distance away. Varex groans at the impact, but then he laughs, a sound brilliant with relief and delight.

“You almost got us both killed.” I slam my palm against his chest, and he grunts.

“You’re so strong,” he says, his tone rich with admiration.

“And you’re ridiculous. We could have died.”

“But we didn’t.” He sits up, holding me close, his lips questing for mine.

I twist my face away. “I’m hungry.”

“I can put something in your mouth.”

My eyes widen, and I meet his gaze, shocked. “Did you make a dirty joke?”

“Dirty?” He cocks an eyebrow.

“Never mind.” I disentangle myself from his arms and walk over to my food, which miraculously stayed in the leaf wrapping. “Do you want some of this?”

He joins me, accepting the pieces of food I offer to him. The light fades completely while we eat, and we’re left in the dark—two weaponless humans, one of them stark naked. No fire and no protection except the claw that I carry in my pocket. I should have grabbed a blanket before we left.

“This was a poorly planned excursion,” I say. “I’m going to freeze tonight.”

“I’ll keep you warm.” Varex grins, teeth white in the dim starlight. Then his face changes and he leaps aside with a sharp cry.

“What?” I exclaim. “What happened?”

“There’s something in the grass,” he gasps. “It crawled over my foot.”

I part the grass where he was standing and peer at the ground. There’s a centipede slithering away from the spot—a rather large one, about the length of my hand.

“It’s only an insect,” I tell him. “And it’s leaving.”

He swallows hard, clearly unsettled. “I didn’t like the way that felt.”

I’m about to reply when a large moth flutters between us, near Varex’s face. He jumps backward with a yelp, waving his hands wildly.

“It’s a moth !” I exclaim, half-laughing. He’s unsteady on his legs, so I grab his arms to keep him from falling over. “It’s harmless. Surely you’ve seen moths before.”

“Yes, but they were tiny, barely worth noticing. These are enormous.” He pulls away from me and heads toward the forest. “I think we need shelter. Perhaps there won’t be such creatures among the trees.”

I follow, tempted to inform him otherwise, but I decide to let him learn on his own—which happens sooner than I expect, as he steps beneath the trees and comes face to face with a spider as big as my splayed hand.

“The fuck?” he yells and takes off running across the meadow.

I can’t help laughing. “Where are you going?”

“Away from these monsters!” he calls back.

But the clearing is surrounded by forest, and he quickly realizes there’s nowhere to go. He ends up crouching atop the only rock in the meadow, with his legs tucked up and his chin on his knees, his pale hair glimmering in the starlight.

When I approach him, he notes the smirk on my face.

“My misery amuses you,” he says.

“Yes it does. I find it wonderfully funny that the brave black dragon who captured me is scared of bugs and crawly things.”

“They’re so much larger when I’m in this form,” he protests. “Coming here was a bad idea. I thought you and I could enjoy some time together, and now I’m going to be tormented by these creatures for eight hours. I don’t think I can bear it.”

“They are large,” I admit. “I don’t remember noticing any bugs last time. Maybe your dragon form scared them off before. Scoot over.”

He shifts his position, and I sit on the rock with him, back to back.

“At home there are bugs in our tenement building,” I murmur. “They come out at night despite all my attempts to keep everything spotless. The other apartments in the building are not so clean, and the bugs come through the cracks in the walls. I have to seal our food to keep them from getting into it. Sometimes there are rats, too. I’m used to waking up with unpleasant bedfellows.”

“I don’t understand much about the human way of life,” he admits. “You will have to teach me how to keep things clean for you, so you can have a pleasant life here.”

“I’m not staying, Varex.”

He falls silent. Since we’re back to back, I can’t see his face.

“You can’t understand what it is to be poor, in human terms,” I say quietly. “I grew up in poverty, with parents who drank heavily, smoked mind-altering herbs, and were cruel to me and my siblings. My brother became a drunk and a gambler, vicious and greedy just like them.”

I don’t know why I’m telling him this. Maybe I’m nurturing the hope that if he comprehends my family situation better, he’ll understand why I have to go back.

“My sister married young to escape the beatings, but she ended up marrying a shiftless, lazy drunk like our father. I ran away from home and left her there, trapped in that marriage, in that town. I’d learned to dance from a woman who worked at the local dice hall. She told me I had talent, so I went to the capital city to join a theater troupe. I was thirteen.”

“Thirteen is very young,” Varex murmurs.

“Yes. My breasts developed early, so people thought I was older. When I was fourteen, I encountered a man who served at the palace as a steward. He’d seen me perform in several shows, and he promised to get me an audition for the palace dance troupe, as long as I gave him something in exchange.”

“What did he want?” Varex asks.

“What men always want.” I let my head tilt back against his. “My cunt.”

“I don’t understand.”

“My pussy. The hole you enjoyed so often last night.”

He stiffens. “Fourteen is much too young for mating.”

“Yes. It’s too young among humans, too. But I did it, and he got me the audition. I joined the palace troupe, and over time I became one of their best dancers. I was the Queen’s favorite for a while. People admired me, gave me rich gifts, praised me… but almost every one of them did it for the same reason—to fuck me. To possess me for a little while.”

Varex doesn’t speak, but he reaches back, feeling for my hand. I slide my fingers between his, swallowing a lump in my throat as his strong fingers close around mine.

“I had so much wealth, so suddenly,” I continue. “I didn’t know how to manage it. Some of it I wasted on parties and gifts for people who weren’t truly my friends. Some of it I sent back to my sister and my brother, because I felt guilty for abandoning them. But my brother Bryon and my sister’s husband gambled the money away. I didn’t plan to give them more, but my sister wrote to me, saying that Bryon owed a fortune to some terrible men, and that if I didn’t pay his debt, he would be killed.”

“Human culture is pure savagery,” breathes Varex. “How can they be so cruel to each other?”

I twist toward him slightly. “You swallowed up countless people with void orbs and burned many others with void magic. You don’t have any right to judge us.”

“Perhaps not.”

I tilt my head back against his with a long sigh. “I kept sending my family money and spending too much myself. Eventually my brother, my sister, her children, her husband, and his mother fled our hometown and came to live with me in the city. I didn’t have the heart to turn them away. And I thought the men would find work and help me support everyone. But that didn’t happen, and eventually we had to move into the hovel we call home now.”

Tears have begun rolling down my face. I try not to let Varex know, but a sob hitches through my lungs in spite of my best efforts, and he feels the surge of my back against his.

He turns around, lifting me gently with his powerful arms, arranging us both so I’m sitting between his legs, with his knees arched on either side of me. He wraps both arms around me, hugging me against his chest. His lips press against the top of my head.

“You know I want more than your body, don’t you?” he whispers.

“I know.” The words slip from me, a faint confession. “But it’s cruel of you to ask for all of me. It’s unfair.”

“Nothing about any of this is fair,” he replies. “The decimation of our prey by the plague was unfair. We were forced to join the war because of it—that was the only way we could lay claim to the Middenwold Isles as our new hunting grounds. Vohrain would never have yielded those islands to us otherwise. We had a choice—starve and go extinct, or kill humans. And since the people of Elekstan used to hunt dragons a few decades ago, many of my clan had no problem fighting against them.”

“I remember hearing about the dragon hunts. My father boasted about accompanying my grandfather to one of Ouroskelle’s outlying islands and watching him bring down an elder dragon.”

“So your family hunted us, and now I have captured you,” he murmurs into my hair. “Does it not seem like a strange kind of justice?”

“This isn’t about me or you. This is about two children who are doomed to misery unless I save them.”

“But you did not create those children.”

“They are still my responsibility. If your brother had hatchlings and then died, you would gladly take in his offspring and care for them as your own.”

“We’ve discussed this before,” he says patiently. “Your sister and her husband are not dead. Nor is your brother. They simply need to rise up and do what is right for the young ones.”

“They won’t, though!” My voice rises, shrill with frustration. “They never have.”

“Perhaps because you keep trying to save them, instead of letting them falter and rise and grow stronger.”

“You’re blaming me ?”

“Not blaming, no. I’m wondering if, given the right set of circumstances, the goodness inside your sister and brother will blossom. Perhaps stepping aside is the healthiest thing you can do. Everything else you have tried has failed, after all.”

I wrench myself away from him and jump down from the rock. “Fuck you, Varex.”

He sighs. “You’re angry because part of you agrees with me.”

“That’s not true. You’re an arrogant bastard, a murderer, and a thief.”

He leaps down from the rock, standing tall and handsome in the moonlit meadow. He’s partly erect from our close contact, but he doesn’t seem to be thinking about that. His eyes are fixed on mine, fierce emotion shining in them.

“I’m the dragon—the man—the soul who loves you,” he says. “And because I love you, I will tell you the truth. I will always do what I believe is best for you.”

“I don’t want you choosing what’s best for me. I never asked you to love me. You need to stop it.”

“Stop loving you?” His mouth curves in a sweet, sad smile.

“Yes. I don’t want your love. I don’t want anything to do with you.” I’m beyond tears now, firmly entrenched in an anger so deep and familiar it feels uncomfortably like home. It’s a toxic refuge I can’t disavow, because to let go of the anger would be to let go of the purpose that has driven me for years.

My life’s purpose is to save my family, and I refuse to believe that I can’t.

“I hate you.” My words seethe in the cool night air, the heat of their venom hissing between us.

Varex inhales sharply, and I relish the knowledge that I hurt him.

But he takes a measured step toward me, then another. “You can hate me, reject me, refuse my love… yet I will love you anyway, even if you never let me touch you again. Even if you don’t speak to me or look at me for the rest of your life, even if I’m deprived of the sight of you and the sound of your voice, I will love you and only you, until my body perishes. When my bones lie on the hills of Ouroskelle, they will sing your name to the sun by day and whisper it to the moon at night. If you should die first, I would soon follow, because no void could ever be greater than the space left by your absence in this universe.”

I’m shaking, not only from cold but from the storm of clashing emotions inside me—the demands of blood and family warring against the confession of this beautiful man, this creature of void and shadow, of fangs and lightning.

I hate what he said about abandoning my family, and I’m still deeply conflicted about what I feel for him. But I feel like I might quake apart if I’m left on my own; I’ll freeze in the hollow dark of the night and then crack into irreparable fragments, my heart’s blood soaking into the grass. I need him, need the solidity and heat of him, the certainty and sweetness of him.

“I still hate you,” I tell him faintly. “And I’m still angry. But could we… could we pause this, pause all the thinking and the arguing, and just…”

“Fuck yes,” he breathes, and we come together, our bodies and limbs slotting perfectly into place, his bare skin against the green velvet of my dress.

What we do together on the rock and in the thick grass isn’t fucking—it isn’t urgent or exploratory. There are no unique positions, no naughty words. We kiss slowly, and he slips inside me secretly, beneath the dress. Our joining is a delicate, dripping heat, a wet, quivering glide, a slow, rich pulse of pleasure.

His body’s higher temperature keeps us both warm, even afterward, when we’re lying on the grass by the rock, closely entwined. He likes keeping his cock inside me, even when it’s not erect, and I let him, because it seems to give him comfort. He set aside his fear of insects temporarily for my sake, but he’s jumpy throughout the night, frequently twitching at the real or imagined threat of tiny crawling things.

When he grows particularly unnerved, I kiss him until he hardens inside me and forgets his fear. When I start thinking too much, sinking into the darkness of my mind, he senses it and distracts me by caressing my hip, fondling my breasts, or teasing my clit gently with his fingertips.

I have never felt like this… suspended in a state of blissful arousal for so long. I come for him three times in the night, but it feels like more, because he keeps me floating in that dreamlike place of sleepiness and pleasure.

Once, while he is sleeping uneasily, I rouse enough to mull over our conversation again.

I don’t want to believe that it’s entirely Varex’s choice to keep me here. If it wasn’t for his brother, he’d take me home—I’m sure of it. The cause of this chaos is Kyreagan and his mad plan to kidnap women as mates. If Kyreagan were removed, Varex would be more likely to do the right thing. His loyalty to his brother is holding him back.

I can’t be the one to dispose of Kyreagan. Varex would never forgive me, and besides, I don’t think I could get close enough to Kyreagan when he’s in human form. But Princess Serylla could do it. She has access, and I’ve witnessed the animosity between her and the first-born dragon prince.

With Kyreagan out of the way, the clan would fall to pieces, and it would be easier to persuade the remaining dragons to release us. None of us belong here on Ouroskelle—I’m not even sure the dragons do anymore. The best place for all of us is on the mainland.

Elekstan is likely to be in upheaval for a while following its conquest by Vohrain, so the women who don’t wish to return there could be dropped off farther down the coast, perhaps in one of the Southern Kingdoms. As for me, I’ll brave any obstacle to get back to my family. No matter what Varex says, I can’t give up on them. At the very least I need to see them again, to be sure they’re alright.

They’re my blood. They’ve been in my life far longer than Varex has. I dread bringing more sorrow on his sensitive heart with the loss of his brother, but my loyalty to my family must come first. Kyreagan will have to die.

With my decision made, I fall asleep again.

Toward dawn, Varex awakens and moves a little distance away so he won’t crush me in his dragon form. When he shifts, I’m too sleepy to comment on it. He picks me up in his claws, carries me back to his cave, and lays me down on the bed he made for me. I’m conscious enough to notice that he added an actual blanket and a pillow yesterday—probably pilfered from the supplies Ashvelon brought.

After two nights of very little sleep and a hard day’s work in between, I’m too exhausted to even thank him for those extra comforts. The last thing I’m aware of, before I drift into deep sleep, is his soft breath stirring my hair and the touch of his tongue against my forehead.