Page 36

36

“ Y ou should have called last night,” Mantis said to Simon when they walked into the clubhouse the next morning.

“The fire department got it out quickly, and Juliana even made me go to the emergency room,” Simon responded. Mantis raised an eyebrow and crossed his arms. Charley brought out the tender side of Mantis, but right now, he looked every bit the president of an MC club. Juliana considered defending Simon’s decision not to tell anyone about the fire or the ER visit until the morning but decided that would only make it worse.

Simon and Mantis stared at each other. The silence stretched so thin Juliana had a moment’s thought that this must be what people experienced when hiking at altitude—normal breathing wasn’t cutting it.

Finally, Simon sighed. “You’re right. It won’t happen again.”

Mantis nodded. “See that it doesn’t.” Juliana gulped and nodded when his gaze encompassed her, too.

“Anyone want to tell me why Agent Parks just pulled up?” Monk asked, walking into the clubhouse wiping his greasy hands on a rag.

Mantis’s attention swung to Simon. After a pregnant pause, all three sets of eyes turned to her.

“Juliana,” Simon said.

“Juls?” Mantis asked.

“What did you do, woman?” Monk chimed in. It was such an unlike-Monk thing to say she almost laughed but, again, thought better of it.

An apology hovered on her tongue, but then Dottie walked in, and something shifted inside Juliana. That woman loved each and every Falcon. And she defended them without hesitation. What Juliana had done wasn’t that different. She had no illusions that they wouldn’t see it that way, but she wasn’t sorry for the decision she’d made. She’d done it because she didn’t want anyone else, least of all Simon or his family, getting hurt.

Straightening her shoulders, she met Simon’s piercing gaze. “I called her. When you were with the doctor last night.”

Mantis cocked his head. Dottie approached the group, planting her hand on her waist, her expression more understanding than the other three people staring at her.

“And?” Simon said, his voice infused with a mix of emotions Juliana couldn’t quite parse. She heard dread and resignation as well as fear and anger.

Juliana was 99 percent certain he already knew the answer, but she replied anyway. “And I talked to her about going ahead with Griswold’s suggestion.”

Mantis dropped his head. Monk took a deep breath. Simon stared.

“We agreed to give the FBI time to investigate before you dangle yourself out there as bait.” How Simon managed to talk through his clenched teeth was a feat she’d dissect later.

“That was before someone tried to set your property on fire and before a tree came inches from falling on you,” she retorted, fear making her defensive, the emotion pricking at her like tiny barbs.

“A tree almost fell on you?” Mantis asked.

Simon’s jaw ticked. “It wasn’t that close,” he said, not taking his eyes off her.

“Because a firefighter warned him and he was able to jump out of the way,” Juliana countered, directing her comment to Mantis. Then she felt compelled to add, “It wasn’t on fire, but it was big.”

“We can protect ourselves—and you—just fine,” Simon said. He wasn’t wrong, but that wasn’t what had her concerned.

“They found me, then they found us, then your house in the city, and now your home here in Mystery Lake. If the triad came after you, they will come after the club. I don’t doubt you all can protect yourselves—and the people here,” she said with a nod to Dottie. “But I don’t want you to have to.” She paused, not shying away from the intense expression on his face.

“I don’t even know if Agent Parks will agree,” she continued. “She was noncommittal on the phone. And if she does, there’s no guarantee it will work because, unfortunately, these men aren’t stupid. But if it does work, then this ends. I can go back to work, we can go on an actual date, and you all can go back to doing everything you do—there’s enough danger in that as it is.”

“Dangling yourself out there—acting like bait—isn’t a good idea. It’s a cliché that only works in books and movies,” Simon said.

Behind him, Monk shifted, and Mantis raised an eyebrow. “What?” she asked, having caught the subtle movements.

Simon turned. A beat later, he crossed his arms. “Don’t bring that shit up. That was different and you know it.”

“What was different?” she asked, glancing at Dottie. Dottie lifted her shoulders. Juliana frowned. Dottie seemed to know everything. If she didn’t know what they were not-talking about, it probably had something to do with their time in the military.

“Stone had a reputation—” Monk started.

“Don’t,” Simon growled.

Monk ignored him. “For holding himself out there as bait. Different kind of situation?—”

“They were insurgents and terrorists and we were trained ,” Simon snapped.

The image Monk conjured wasn’t one she liked, but another thought snagged her attention. “If you had a reputation for being the bait, that implies you did it more than once,” she said, her voice even.

“Different situation,” he answered.

“That’s not an answer,” she said. “How many times?”

Simon’s jaw tightened enough that even from four feet away, she could see the muscles bulging.

“Eight, that I know of,” Monk said.

Mantis snorted, but Simon swore.

“And it worked,” she said. Not a question, but she dared Simon not to answer. His nostrils flared, and his shoulders tensed. She didn’t look away. After a taut silence, he dipped his chin once in an almost imperceptible nod.

“What happened to complete honesty between us, Simon?” she demanded. She wasn’t being entirely fair. Simon’s objections were born from concern. But she had a point to make.

“It was different,” he bit out.

“No doubt it was,” she agreed. “That doesn’t change the fact that implying it doesn’t work in real life is not an honest statement. Your own experience says otherwise.”

He continued staring at her, but the lines of his body eased. He wasn’t conceding, but he was starting to grasp the point she wanted to make. His arms dropped. “Guys,” he said, turning to the others. “Can you give us a minute?”

They started moving away, but Juliana stopped them. “No,” she said. “We need to talk about this out in the open. I get it, you’re scared. So am I. But if we hide behind our fears, what good will that do? If we’re honest, as you’ve insisted from the beginning, we can turn them into strengths.” Her heart beat a rapid tattoo. She was asking a lot of Simon, but no more than she offered herself.

Simon’s chest lifted on an inhale. Slowly, he exhaled and met her gaze. “I just found you,” he said. “I don’t want to lose you. The thought of you facing those men, men who’ve lied and stolen and who are willing to kill…it guts me. You can’t blame me for doing everything in my power to protect you—protect me—from that.”

She blinked, moisture gathering in her eyes. They were getting to the heart of the matter. Avoidance had been a survival mechanism they’d each relied on—needed—to survive their childhoods. But it wouldn’t serve them now, and it really wouldn’t serve them in the long run. They needed to bare everything, to be vulnerable, to share their fears. As hard as it might be, especially in times of stress, they needed to commit to honesty. Only then would they be able to walk through the fire and come out stronger than either of them had ever imagined.

“That’s how I felt last night when that tree fell, before I knew you were okay,” she said, taking two steps to stand in front of him. “I can’t…I don’t,” she exhaled. “I don’t even have the words to describe what happened in my head and my heart and my body when I thought you’d been crushed under the tree. I just found you, too,” she said. “And I don’t want to lose you, either.”

He lifted a hand and cupped her cheek before sliding it into her hair and tugging her close, pressing his forehead to hers.

“If we do this, we decide together,” she said. “With all the cards—all the real cards—on the table. There’s no hiding anything in the shadows. There’s no place for artifice between us. We’ve both had enough of that in our lives.”

Hearing the truth in her words, he closed his eyes. But even more than that, he understood them. They had choices—they could fall back on the patterns they’d needed as children to survive, or they could forge a new path. In many ways, they each already had, but there was no denying that the relationship they shared, the one they were building, was different from all the others in their lives. Different in a way that was both deeply powerful and scary as hell.

“I won’t ever be okay with you putting yourself in danger,” he said, opening his eyes.

“I know,” she said. “I feel the same.”

“And you should have talked to me before calling Parks.”

She took a deep breath, ready to own her mistake. “I know. I was scared, and I made a bad choice. I’m sorry.”

He studied then, on an exhale, said, “I don’t want to hide from you.” He paused and took a breath. “I’m sorry, too. I took the easy way out and reacted with anger rather than acknowledging the fear I really feel.”

“Vulnerability is hard even for people who grew up in safe, healthy environments. Neither of us had that privilege.”

“But we can choose to be different.”

“We already have, we just may need little reminders now and then to stay the course.”

His dark eyes held hers, the moment stretched, the bond between them strengthening with each breath. Her heart flipped when he opened his mouth to speak. He didn’t need to say the words she knew hovered between them, but she understood the power that saying them could have.

Only before he had a chance, the door swung open and Sherman, who’d stayed outside with Viper, came flying in. Simon braced a hand on her hip as thirty-five pounds of puppy raced toward them. Sherman’s paws slid on the hardwood when he tried—and failed—to stop before knocking into her. She laughed as Simon caught her, pulling her against him. Blissfully unaware of the moment he’d interrupted, Sherman circled their legs, tail wagging, as he tried to worm his way between them.

It was only after Viper announced Agent Parks that Simon brushed his lips over hers. Then sliding his hand over her shoulder and down her arm, he took her hand in his.

Juliana held tight as she turned and, shoulder to shoulder with Simon, they faced the agent.

Agent Parks’s gaze swept the room before landing on them. She seemed to assess their position and come to a conclusion. “We have a lot to discuss today,” she said.

Simon nodded. “That we do.”