Page 81

Alexandra

Change

I drift into a dream state, my body bathed in the warmth of endless flames, like sinking into a scalding bath after a day caked in sweat and grime.

I love it!

The horizon stretches before me, a realm of roaring fires and erupting volcanoes on a scale that could never exist in the waking world.

In the distance, I see him—Arawnoth.

His colossal form rises, engulfing the heavens, setting the very stars ablaze.

I crane my neck, struggling and longing to see him—all of him—feeling his glorious presence filling my soul to bursting with a lust for life I crave.

His eyes shimmer with the fires of creation itself, and I raise my arms to the scorching sky, yearning for him to claim me as he has in the past.

But then... he hesitates.

Despite the distance, I feel his gaze bore down upon me—judging, finding me wanting.

“No,” I whisper, panic gripping my chest like a vise.

The raging infernos around me begin to dim, their once-mighty flames reduced to embers. I whip my head back and forth, desperate, my breath ragged as the searing heat gives way to cold, lifeless rock.

“No!” I fall to my knees, the ice beneath me biting into my skin.

Arawnoth is merciless, stripping every flicker of warmth, leaving only endless cold and desolate stone.

Teeth chattering, I stare into the darkness—endless, oppressive void that I loathe with every fiber of my being.

Arawnoth turns, his colossal back fading into the abyss, the final light snuffed out.

“Don’t abandon me!” I scream into the frigid air, my voice echoing in the emptiness, until the dream shatters.

I bolt upright, yanked back into reality—back in this freezer-like cave. Awareness floods my senses, each detail like a pointed stiletto kick to the shins.

Ugh , the crazy fight with Dracoth. I sink further into my furs, wanting them to swallow me whole, unable to handle the cringe and embarrassment.

What the hell was I thinking? Didn’t I decide to work with him?

But when he mentioned my past... I just lost it. I’m lucky to be alive after almost killing him. Flashes of the twisted joy I felt crushing him against the wall steal my breath with their dark implications.

What is wrong with me?

But he was the same! I could feel him enjoying the pain we were inflicting and reflecting on each other. Batshit crazy.

“I won’t abandon you.” Dracoth’s low voice rumbles, startling me from my thoughts.

I peek from beneath the furs, seeing him across the firepit, roasting strips of meat on the end of his long claws.

“I won’t abandon you.” Have I ever heard sweeter words?

And from Dracoth, I know he’s sincere—all super serious, Mr. Frowny Face.

But the truth is, I don’t deserve them. The closer he gets, the harder I push back—except you can’t push Dracoth.

Oh no, he’s immovable, as solid as the mountains. It’s terrifying... too terrifying.

If he gets too close, he’ll see the real Lexie—the broken woman hiding underneath. I can’t let that happen. I stifle a groan, the memory of the twisted things I said to him making me wince.

Ugh , he probably already knows how fragmented and fragile I am now. The bond we share is too strange, too raw. I feel his endless rage, his lust for power—and he must feel my fear, my instability.

It’s madness! How does he keep that blank, boring expression when I can sense the fury burning inside him?

It’s... unsettling. And yet, somehow admirable.

How does he control his emotions when I can’t?

And what the hell is he so angry about, anyway?

Like someone’s been spitting in his coffee every morning.

“Here,” Dracoth growls, snapping me out of my thoughts.

I peek out from my furs to see him offering a piece of charred meat. The fire crackles, casting flickering orange hues over the crystalline blue-white walls. I spot Todd, the little scamp, nestled on the edge of the firepit, soaking up the heat.

“Thanks,” I say tentatively, taking a piece of the moist, sizzling meat.

“Ow, that’s hot!” I yelp, juggling the scalding morsel between my hands.

It soon cools as I press it to the freezing, misty ground, wondering if it’s safe to eat the meat from that giant mutant turtle-thing he slaughtered. Even now, its disgusting, mangled remains near Dracoth send a shiver down my spine.

I pop the meat into my mouth, bracing for imminent revulsion.

But as I chew, I’m surprised—it’s... good.

Smoky, tender, like barbecued chicken. With a little seasoning, it might actually be great.

I suppose I shouldn’t expect better, lost in a giant alien supermarket freezer.

I almost sigh but stop myself, remembering I’m already in Dracoth’s naughty books.

“That’s... delicious!” I feign enthusiasm, wincing internally at my lousy acting.

Dracoth’s crimson eyes snap to mine, his expression unreadable, though I can’t help suspect he somehow knows every thought flitting through my head. I flash him a nervous smile, struggling to hold his gaze. But he just silently hands me more food, sliding it from his long, sword-like claw.

My stomach growls with satisfaction as I greedily devour the food, surprising myself with my ravenous appetite.

Dracoth continues to offer me more morsels, using his claws like giant multi-pronged shish kabobs.

I don’t stop until I notice Todd uncurling his cute little segmented body, skittering along the firepit toward me.

“You want some, little guy?” I ask, holding out a piece of meat. Todd’s single black eye reflects my own beaming face as his mandibles softly tap against the food.

“Go on,” I encourage, but my pet cyloillar hesitates, turning back toward the firepit instead, filling me with concern.

“Aww,” I mutter, disappointed.

“They’re vegetarian,” Dracoth grunts, slicing through the stinky turtle mutant’s carcass with his claws.

“Vegetarian?” I echo, frowning. “That prick Ignixis said they’d devour a gorack in minutes,” I add, shivering—though more from the terrifying memory than the frigid air.

“Borack,” Dracoth corrects, surprising me with a faint smile tugging at his lips as he shakes his head. “That old gas-cloud,” he mutters under his breath.

“Wait, what’s Todd going to eat?” I ask, growing concerned as I glance around the cave, realizing there’s no trace of vegetation in sight. Although, studying his bloated, black-red segmented body gives me some relief. “Ack, you’re quite the plumper, aren’t you, Todd?”

“It wishes to be devoured,” Dracoth grunts, jabbing a meat-laden claw toward the curled-up Todd. “Look how it cooks itself.”

“Don’t listen to Daddy Dracoth!” I gasp, scooping Todd up from the edge of the firepit.

He burrows deep into my leathers, settling against my stomach.

I smile down at him as his single eye glares lazily, mandibles clacking.

“You’re not trying to bake yourself, are you?

Just keeping warm.” I could swear he nods in agreement with me.

“But seriously, what are we going to feed him?” I ask, brushing a hand along his rubbery, segmented skin.

“Today we’ll reach Draxxi lands,” Dracoth mutters, his eyes fixed on the sizzling meat dangling over the roaring fire. “There, it can gorge itself.”

“You hear that, Todd?” I exclaim, feeling a rush of excitement. “You’ll be the biggest, fattest one of you guys ever!” Todd responds to this joyous news by curling into a tight ball.

Dracoth draws my attention, offering me another piece of freshly cooked meat, which I happily devour. I study his stern face, my chest growing tighter, knowing I should address the madness from yesterday... We can’t just leave it, can we? Dracoth probably would. Nothing seems to faze him for long.

“Dracoth... about what happened—”

“I sense your regret, female,” Dracoth interrupts, holding out another long, thin strip of meat.

A surge of panic threatens to lash out again—that worrying, primal instinct to push him away flaring up once more. He’s in my mind, knows too much. He’s getting too close. The dark mist in my core thickens.

I am the toilet.

No. I need to stop this! Dracoth won’t abandon me. He already knows me—the real me. He feels it in our bond, felt it in our crazy fight—he knows me. I steady myself, taking a deep breath. I won’t push him away.

“No, I still want to say it,” I mutter, locking my gaze onto his, determined to show my sincerity. “I’m sorry, Dracoth. Those things I said... I know they weren’t true. I was just trying to hurt you, to push you away.”

The silence between us feels heavy, only broken by the crackling fire and Todd’s soft clacking snores. Dracoth remains maddeningly unreadable, his crimson eyes fixed on me. Then—without a word—he thrusts more sizzling meat toward me.

“No, thank you!” I snap, frustration bubbling to the surface as I grimace. “Aren’t you at least going to say something?”

He abruptly stands, dominating the cave with his massive frame. “Actions speak louder than words,” he growls, tearing a strip from a fur and using it to wrap chunks of meat. “Here.” The furry satchel is shoved into my hands as I stare at him, dumbfounded. “We leave now.”

Such a rude prick!

My jaw tightens, my frustration simmering beneath the surface. After I have the serene grace to apologize, he just throws it in my face! Ugh, seriously... but fine, whatever. If that’s what it takes.

“I’ll find a way to show you,” I say with more confidence than I feel. Knowing him, nothing less than wrestling a gorilla while naked would impress him.

“Good.” Dracoth whirls sharply, cracking the ice under his immense stomping boots as he moves to exit the icy cave. His face is expressionless, but I grin, catching it—a spark of joy through our bond, faint but undeniable.