Page 17

17

Taylor

I t was an incredible Christmas Eve with Elias. I loved that it was just the two of us, relaxing with a glass of wine, while devouring a delicious pu pu platter from Elias’s favorite Chinese restaurant. As we ate, we sat on the sofa watching a holiday movie in front of a sparsely decorated tree—sadly, Charlie Brown’s got nothing on us. But decorations will come in time, and the ornament collection will take years, each one representing some special trip or occasion. Heck, Kalen and I still have our baby’s first Christmas ornament.

Now here it is, Christmas morning, and we’re in his bedroom getting ready to have dinner at my brother’s. I can’t wait to get there, not just to see my family and meet Sahara’s, but to see her new library.

We all drew names for gifts, because there will be so many people at dinner, but I gave Elias a special gift last night and he gave me one. I can’t believe he gave me Broadway tickets to a play I’ve been dying to see in New York. I shouldn’t be so surprised. He’s pretty tuned into my needs. I made him Grandma’s special lasagna for dinner, and while I don’t think it compared, he said it was the best gift ever.

A little bubble of excitement builds inside me as I think about how much fun I’ve been having since this ruse began. When was I ever this happy? I’m not sure but I truly am excited to meet all of Sahara’s big family, and I’m also really looking forward to seeing Dad and his partner Miles. I’m so glad that Kalen and Dad patched things up after far too many years of animosity.

I can’t deny that I’m secretly looking forward to Elias meeting my dad. It’s strange, I mean it’s not like we’re a real couple, and I need his approval. But I really hope they like him. It’s a foolish thought because, come on, what’s not to like? The guy is kind, warm, giving and cares so much about other people—even going so far as to have me pose as his girlfriend. Not just to shut down his parents interfering, but because he loves them and wants to fulfil their dreams of seeing him married with children. He just needs to do it on his timeline, not theirs.

I guess it’s too bad that he wasn’t interested in Avery in a romantic way. She even came out to a game, and then to the pub with us afterward to celebrate the win. Elias was nice to her—he’s nice to everyone—but she ended up going home with Roman. I should have seen that coming. But really it’s too bad she wasn’t the one.

Is it, though, Taylor? Are you really disappointed?

I shut down that inner voice, because the idea of Elias with Avery—or any woman—fills me with an odd rush of jealousy. I honestly wish I wasn’t so happy that Elias and Avery didn’t have a spark. But I am and I can’t go there. Although I think I already have…

Elias comes from the bathroom, smoothing his hand over his button-down shirt like some handsome model. I don’t even think the man knows how good looking he is. I laugh at him and he pauses, tilting his head like an adorably confused puppy.

“What?” he asks, narrowing his eyes as he zeroes in on me. But that confusion morphs into desire as his gaze moves down my body to my curve-hugging Christmas dress decorated in gingerbread men.

“You’re buttoned up wrong.”

He glances down to see the mismatched buttons and groans. “Damn.”

“Are you nervous or something?”

“No, well…maybe.”

I step up to him, tug on his shirt, undoing the buttons to fix the mess. Not my smartest move, because the second I see his hard chest and abs, my brain short-circuits. What is happening to me? Wait, I know. Elias has turned me into a walking, talking nymphomaniac and I don’t hate it. Sure, I’ll hate it when this is over and I’m in need of an Elias fix and can’t just climb him like a pole any time I want.

I touch his body, trailing my fingers across his hard, warm chest, and he catches my wrists with a sharp inhale.

“Babe,” he warns, in a low command that is deliciously low and arousing. “If you keep that up, we’re never getting out of here.”

I blink up at him with feigned innocence. “You don’t like it.”

He shakes his head, chuckling under his breath, and even that sound does crazy things to my body. “You enjoy having me wrapped around your finger, don’t you?”

“Oh, is it this finger?” I ask and hold up my index. “Or maybe it’s this one?” I flash him my middle finger with a cheeky grin.

He grabs my hand, his eyes full of mischief. “How about all of them?” He takes them to his mouth and slowly, painstakingly arousing, kisses each one individually.

Alrighty then.

“Well you better let me go so I can fix this shirt and make it look like we haven’t been having sex all evening.”

His grin is easy, devilishly spreading across his face as his gaze softens as if he’s replaying last night on the sofa and all the ways we celebrated the holiday.

I poke his chest. “Focus, Elias.”

He blinks and shakes his head. “Right.”

“Now tell me, why are you nervous?”

He sighs. “I’m meeting your dad for the first time.”

I shrug. “I met your family.”

“Yeah, well I’m not as great at acting as you are, remember?”

I roll my eyes. “No acting needed this time. You’re Kalen’s best friend, and Dad doesn’t know we have anything going on.” I’m still convinced Gina does, and I’m glad she’s keeping it to herself. I stiffen, and put my hand over my stomach when I get a sharp, surprising pain.

“What’s wrong?” His gaze drops, his eyes narrowing with concern. “Are you okay?”

“I don’t know,” I admit, pressing a hand to my stomach. “I just got this weird pain. Maybe all the junk we ate last night didn’t agree with me.” I scrunch up my nose, trying to downplay the unease. “Lasagna followed by fried…everything. Ugh, delicious, but clearly a bad life choice.”

“Do you have to go to the bathroom?” he asks bluntly.

Normally such a question from a guy would be mortifying, but with Elias, it’s not. “Not yet,” I tell him, but I’m not ruling it out just yet. Something strange is going on down there.

“Why don’t you lay down for a second? We have time. Even if we don’t, we’re not going anywhere if you’re not well.”

“Yeah, okay. I’m sure it will pass.” He takes me to his bed, and fluffs the pillow before I lay on it and curl up.

“Water?” he offers already halfway out the door.

“Yes, please.” He disappears downstairs and is back in record time, uncapping a bottle before handing it to me. His fingers brush my hair out of my face in a gesture so tender it almost makes me forget how queasy I feel.

“Thank you,” I murmur and take a sip.

“There’s a lot of sickness on the go right now.” He sits on the edge of the bed and watches me closely. “Do you think we should skip dinner at Kalen’s?”

I shake my head, even as my stomach continues to gurgle. I take a big sip and then sit up. My eyes go wide as I clutch my upset stomach.

Elias is already on his feet, gently but firmly pulling me up. “Bathroom. Now.”

I don’t argue. Instead I sprint to the bathroom, shutting the door behind me. While Elias and I are pretty open about most things, there are limits. Like him witnessing my stomach distress.

Ten long minutes later, I emerge feeling relief. I find Elias sitting on the bed, his elbows on his knees, worry etched into every line on his face.

He stands when he sees me. “You okay?”

“I am now.”

He moves toward me, his head angled. “You think it was the food?”

I nod and when he reaches me, I pat his hard stomach. I’ve seen the man eat, and that includes leftovers that I would deem questionable. “Unlike yours, mine is not ironclad.”

Elias wraps his arms around me, pulling me close and as I melt into his warmth, I press my cheek to his chest, and revel in the sound of his strong, steady heartbeat. Strong and steady. I can’t think of better words to describe the man holding me. “Are you up to going, or do you just want to stay in? I’m okay either way.”

I exhale softly, contentment curling through me. “I’m good to go.”

“Okay.” He eases back just enough to study me, his hands settling firmly on my shoulder as his gaze races over my face, concern flickering in the dark depths. Ever the protector, he says, “If at any time you don’t feel well, let me know.”

I nudge him playfully. “Thanks, Grandpa.” He just rolls his eyes at me, and my heart softens as I think of a little Elias running around this place. “You’re going to be an amazing father one of these days.”

He scoffs, smirking. “You mean Grandpa.”

I laugh as his warmth seeps into my bones. “I only call you that because you’re so much older than me.”

Shaking his head at my foolishness, he slides his hand down my back, guiding me toward the stairs. “Grab our coats and I’ll get the casserole and wine.” He nods and I hurry to the kitchen, and carefully put the food, drinks, and our gifts for the exchange into a bag. When I get back to him, he’s holding my coat out for me. I set down the bag, and he helps me into it, and I zip it to my chin. Once we’re both bundled, we make our way outside. The cool air falls over us as we hurry to his car, and I glance out the passenger-side window, taking in the decorations as he drives the short distance to my brother’s. It’s nice that the guys live close, considering they’re best friends.

Numerous cars are in the driveway when we approach and I note the way Elias adjusts his collar, the small shift in his shoulders. He’s always so composed, but I’ve learned that outside of hockey and events with the team, he’s a quiet soul. A homebody. A loner, if you will. Not that there is anything wrong with that. Back in California, his big family events are always filled with ‘acquaintances,’ as he puts it. Hopefully the fact that everyone here today is family in some way will make it easier for him.

We pull up to the curb and Elias helps me out, holding me so I don’t slip on the walkway. I don’t bother knocking. Technically, I still live here. I push the door open and step inside and smile at Elias when boisterous laughter spills out from the living room, followed by a baby’s cry.

“Sahara’s sister-in-law Victoria recently had a baby,” I tell him quietly. “Let’s put the food and wine in the kitchen before we say hello.” He nods, and his fingers brush the small of my back as we shrug out of our coats and boots and head to the kitchen. I put the casserole in the fridge, and grab Elias a beer and pour myself a glass of wine, even though the thought of drinking it teases my stomach, and not in a good way.

Elias lifts a brow, as if sensing my unease. “Ready?”

I nod and we make our way into the living room, where the soft hum of conversation and laughter fills the air. My gaze immediately lands on Kalen’s towering Christmas tree, the twinkling lights casting a warm glow over the room, making it so very cozy. Nevertheless, I still love the sparsely decorated tree Elias and I picked out and put up over music and hot chocolate.

“You’re here!” Sahara yells out, her voice full of excitement, and before I can even react, she’s bounding toward me, and wrapping me in a tight hug. I laugh and hug her back.

She pulls back. “I didn’t even hear you come in.”

I tilt my head toward the kitchen. “I wanted to put the casserole into the fridge.”

She’s bubbling over with happiness when she says, “Did you see my room? Did you know what Kalen was up to? Ohmigod, I don’t know how he managed to keep it from me all this time.”

Her energy is infectious and I laugh. “Yes, yes, and he’s a sneaky one,” I reply, checking off each answer.

“Hey sis,” Kalen greets, stepping forward to pull me into a hug. I squeeze him tight, and out of the corner of my eye, I notice my father rising from his seat. Kalen lets me go and greets his best friend with the same warmth. As they clap each other on the back, another sharp pang grips my stomach—but this time, it’s not from the food I ate. It’s from guilt. I swore I’d never ever come between friends, yet here I am, keeping a big secret from my brother, one that could destroy trust and ruin relationships.

“Are you okay?” Sahara asks her brow knitting together. “You look pale.”

I plaster on a grin. “It’s Winter in Boston,” I somehow manage to joke as I pinch my cheeks. “I’m missing the California sun.” She laughs, nudging me playfully, but the weight in my chest doesn’t ease.

I glance past her shoulder and smile as Dad closes the distance, his arms spread. “Sunshine,” he says, my childhood nickname, as he gives me a big hug. “You’re growing into such a beautiful woman. I’ve missed you.”

My heart beats a little faster. “I’ve missed you too, Dad.”

Miles joins in, wrapping me in a quick hug before I turn to introduce them both to Elias. Dad’s grin is wide as he shakes Elias’s hand, his eyes twinkling with something unreadable.

“Kalen has told us so much about you. It’s nice that he has a close friend here in Boston,” he says, then adds a knowing wink. “But no one thought to mention how close you’ve gotten to Taylor.”

I nearly swallow my tongue as my gaze briefly flies to Sahara, who is biting her bottom lip. “We’re friends,” I blurt out.

Friends, yeah…friends with benefits.

Elias tugs at his collar. “She’s been staying with me while the library was under construction. It was better for her not to be around the dust and mess, plus she’s helping me get my place organized and furnished.”

Dad’s face lights up, his expression so much like Elias grandmother’s that it sends a wave of unease through me. “Well, isn’t that a win-win situation.”

Sahara clears her throat, redirecting the attention in the room. “Guys, I all want you to meet Taylor, my best friend, and Elias, Kalen’s best friend.” She does a round of introductions, and just as the chatter picks up again, Victoria stands, shifting the small bundle in her arms.

“I need to go feed this little guy,” she says, gently bouncing the baby.

“Why don’t you go up to my new library for privacy,” Sahara suggests. “I’ll take you up. Taylor, come with me. I’ve been dying to show you the finished space.”

Elias walks into the living room, takes a seat and falls into conversation with the guys. Hockey, of course. I follow Sahara and Victoria upstairs. The library has been off limits for weeks and I’m excited to finally see the completed space.

“How old is Carter?” I ask when we reach the landing.

Victoria glances down at the tiny bundle nestled in her arms, her expression soft with a kind of love that tugs at something deep inside me. “Only three weeks,” she says, smoothing the blanket around his little cherubic face.

I lean in, peeking at his tiny, delicate features. Something inside me shifts, tightens, aches in a way I don’t quite understand.

What the hell is going on with me?

Biological clock? No, that’s impossible. I’m far too young for that.

Then why does my chest feel full? Why does looking at this tiny human make my throat tighten?

I shake my head to clear it. Exams. Stress. Yes, that’s the reason I’m feeling tired and emotional. That and well…Elias.

You’re falling for him girl.

No, I’m not.

…Am I?

Damn.

Okay, I really need these holidays to help me decompress and get my head on right. Come January semester, I’m sure I’ll be back to my normal self.

At least, that’s what I have to tell myself.

As we step into the library, both Victoria and I gasp in unison. “Sahara, it’s amazing.” My voice is filled with awe as I take in the towering bookshelves, the sheer coziness of the space.

“Kalen really surprised me,” she says softly and I glance at her. How astute of my brother to know exactly what his fiancée wanted, without her ever telling him. I walk over to the bookshelf and trail my fingers along the smooth wood, the craftsmanship solid beneath my touch.

“It’s spectacular.”

“Gina helped Kalen pick out some books she thought I’d like.” She smiles and there’s so much love in her expression, it squeezes my heart. “I can’t wait to fill the rest of the shelves.” I grin, remembering how Grandma asked me to put spicy books on her e-reader like a teenager with a guilty pleasure. But we should never feel guilty for our choices.

Okay, maybe we should feel guilty for some of them.

A book catches my attention, sticking out slightly from the others. I reach for it without thinking.

Sahara’s hand flies out in warning. “Oh, you might not want?—”

But it’s too late. I pull the book free and a soft creak echoes through the room. My eyes widen as a hidden door beside the shelf creaks open, revealing a dim, secret alcove.

My head snaps toward Sahara and there’s a pink tinge on her cheeks. “Do I want to know?”

Sahara chuckles. “Probably not.”

Victoria arches her brow, and Sahara sighs before explaining. “Kalen thought it would be a good, quiet spot for us.” She clears her throat. “You know, for when we have teenagers and need privacy.”

Laughter bursts from my chest. “You’re right, I don’t want to know.” Amused and rather impressed with my brother, I step away from the secret room, and move toward a plush reading chair. “This looks comfy.”

“Have a seat,” Sahara urges.

I drop into it, sinking into the softness, and Victoria moves toward the window beside me, rocking little Carter in her arms. The fresh scent of baby powder drifts toward me. I inhale and tease, “Do all babies smell that good?” But once again, I feel that unfamiliar pull.

Victoria clearly notices as she shifts Carter. “Do you want to hold him for a second.”

“I’m not really great with babies,” I say quickly, even though there is a small part of me that wants to say yes.

She smiles knowingly. “You’ll be fine.”

Before I can overthink it, she gently sets Carter in my arms. I adjust him, awkwardly at first, cradling him gently and being careful to support his head. Once he’s settled, I tug the blanket away from his forehead. “Hi there, little one.” He makes a sound, and the moment my gaze lands on his perfect little face, something inside me tightens.

Instant love.

I swallow. Hard. “Oh my God,” I whisper, my heart aching for…I don’t know what. “He’s so sweet, Victoria.”

Tears sting the back of my eyes. Stupid emotions. It’s just stress. Exams. Exhaustion.

Elias.

“You’re a natural,” Victoria murmurs, smiling.

A noise at the door catches my attention. I glance up to see Elias watching me. The air shifts between us as his gaze flickers from Carter to me, and something raw and unspoken passes over his features. Warmth. Longing. A pure aching need.

I completely and utterly forget how to breathe.