Page 11

I 'M NOT SURE HOW MUCH time has passed by the time I'm able to speak...and I'm no longer tempted to throw up every few seconds.

"W-Who are they?"

"People I swore to protect." Sylvain's voice is grim. There isn't a trace of guilt or shame. But should that be reason enough to trust him?

I glance back at the wall. Every face, a story of tragedy and suffering. But even so. I can't stop thinking about it.

Did he marry me...because I looked like one of them?

A girl...who simply needed saving.

"Did you marry all of them, too?"

It's only when Sylvain's gaze snaps at my direction in sharp incredulity that I even realize what I'm asking.

"D-Did you have sex—"

"Non!" His voice is low. Pained. For me. And yet somehow, that only makes feel unable to breathe. I never knew it was possible to hurt like this. "It is not like that!"

The sight of him is suddenly unbearable. But the moment I turn away, he's already next to me, spinning me right back, and I...

I slap him.

Hard enough to make his lip bleed.

But my husband doesn't even flinch.

"I want to say I'm sorry," I whisper, "but I'm not."

Because all I can think about now...are the clothes I've been wearing. Clothes that I thought he bought for me. But now I know...

When I see his face whiten, I know it's because I've started to cry.

But it's still not enough to stop my heart from cracking.

" Pardonne-moi, je t'en supplie..." Forgive me, I beg you.

I can see that he means every word. That he's hurting for me more and more.

"I am the one at fault. There are things I wish I would have done differently, but..." Sylvain swallows hard. "I cannot change the past. I can only beg for your forgiveness. And ask that you believe me when I say...you are different." His tone becomes fierce and urgent. "I never touched any of them. Never even thought of it."

It's as if he doesn't care about anything except convincing me of the truth.

"You are the only one I wanted. The only one I loved."

He's saying all the right things, but it's just not enough, and my tears simply won't stop falling.

"I want to believe you," I choke out, "but you've just lied to me so many times."

Because Sylvain...

He lied to me about Viktor. Lied to me about these tests. Lied to me about all of these women. Is there even anything about him— about us— that was ever true?

"Liana—"

He reaches for me, I instinctively rear back, and pain flashes over his features.

"I'm s-sorry." I don't want to hurt him, I truly don't.

But if he touches me, I also know I'll break.

For good.

"Will you listen to me?"

All I can do is cry harder as I shake my head.

How...how can he not see what this means?

How can he not realize...that a part of me could never understand why he chose me?

How...how does he not know that him pitying me...makes more sense than the idea of Monsieur Le Dernier f alling in love with a silly little pickpocket like me?

"Listen to me, please."

Why can't he just stop and let me go?

"These women...are why I wanted, needed you to be strong and brave."

"Please stop," I sob out.

"Their secrets will be your secrets, too."

"S-Stop, please—"

"Because if you stay with me, they'll also be yours to protect—"

"I said, stop!"

And yet...it's as if Sylvain doesn't hear me at all.

"I didn't know it then, but I know it now. I don't need any tests to know that you're the one I've been waiting for—"

"Stop, just stop!"

Why does he keep giving me hope when we both know I'm not the girl for him?

"I don't want this anymore," I cry out. "So just stop!"

But when I try leaving one more time—

"I can't."

It's no use. He has me pinned against the wall in no time, and I'm trapped.

"Let me go," I beg him.

"Never."

His handsome face is hard as steel, his dark blue eyes nearly feral.

"Can't you see it won't work?"

"Can't you see that means nothing to me?" he growls back. "The one thing I never lied about was who I was." Violence underscores his tone, and all I can see in his eyes is someone who's willing to tear kingdoms apart if that's what it will take to chain me by his side.

"You knew what I was when you married me."

I start pounding his chest, try shoving him away and kicking him, but nothing works.

"Do you really think a monster like me would ever let you go?"