Page 133 of Stay With Me

“So there’s some dipshit robbing businesses in town and breaking into cars. Probably some little punk with a death wish. I heard Sheriff Wagner’s demand they add more cameras downtown and alert everyone to lock their doors. If you were still here, you’d be ready to hunt the bastard down.” I laugh because it’s totally something he’d recruit me for, too.

“Your folks think you’d be married by now. But based on your previous datin’ history, you’d probably be on your second or third marriage by now because you woulda gone to Vegas for your twenty-first and married some random chick totally fuckin’ blitzed. Then you woulda had a divorce party at the Twisted Bull, where you met your second wife and eloped after you knocked her up during your one-night stand.” Chuckling, I picture all of this playing out in my head.

After a few moments, I decide it’s time to tell him about Magnolia. He’d be lunging at me with excitement considering how much shit he used to give me.

“You’re gonna flip out when I tell you Magnolia and I aredating now. It’s been almost a month. The best one of my life, honestly. Every time I see her, I forget the pain. The anxiety vanishes. Everything in the world is right again.”

My heart races at just the thought of her and knowing she’s coming over later.

“And I know you’d be threatenin’ to kick me in the balls when I tell you I’m gonna marry her someday. She’s the one. Hell, she’s always been the one. Before I was ready to admit how much I liked her, I knew I could never love someone else the way I love her. Honestly, it scares me to give so much of myself to one person, but for the first time, it feels right. There’s this overwhelmingly possessiveness I feel about her. The craving to be around her all the fuckin’ time. It doesn’t even matter what we’re doing. We always have a good time. I’m so goddamn obsessed with her, it’s surreal we’re actually together now.” The smile that takes over my face is downright embarrassing. “My only regret is not tellin’ her sooner. But now that we’re together, I wanna give her the world and protect her from everything bad in it.”

The way I can see him rolling his eyes but then yanking me in for a hug.

“When I ask her to marry me, you’re gonna be at the wedding, right? You promised to stand next to me, and I’m holdin’ you to that.”

I soak up the sun for a few more minutes before standing and letting the tears fall. Then I tap his headstone and repeat the words I say to him every time before I leave. “See ya next year, Billy. Don’t party too hard up there.”

By the time I get home, the emotional weight of today hits me. You’d think that after seven years the grief, it wouldn’t be asheavy as it is during these moments. But then I look around and am reminded of how much older I am now than him. A grown man in his own apartment, responsible for myself, a full-time job, bills to pay. It’s such a contrast to how things were when he died.

I haven’t texted Magnolia since this morning and didn’t tell her what I was doing today. She’d want to console me and sometimes I just want to sit with the pain. Use it as a reminder of how short life is and be grateful for what I have. Not take any of it for granted because it could be cut short at any given time.

Deciding I need a reset, I take a shower and then text her I’m available if she’s ready to come over now.

Magnolia

Okay, on my way.

I smile at getting to see her soon. Since I don’t have anything planned for dinner, I’ll probably suggest we go somewhere. With tomorrow being Thanksgiving, we’ll be at The Lodge for lunch.

When I was at the store buying the stuff for Billy’s birthday lunch, I grabbed an extra bouquet with sunflowers, orange roses, Magnolia leaves, Chrysanthemums, and Mums in a mason jar for Magnolia.

She knocks, and I immediately get up to open it for her.

“Hey, Sunny.” I smile wide as she comes in. “I got you something.”

She follows me toward the couch where I grab them off the coffee table.

Her eyes widen as she dips her nose to smell them. “They’re beautiful. What’re these for?”

I shrug. “They reminded me of you, and I thought you’d like ’em.”

Something crosses her face, an emotion I wasn’t expecting. A flash of sadness.

“You okay?” I set down the flowers and tilt her chin. “Feelin’ sick again?”

She closes her eyes and exhales sharply. “I need to tell you something.”

With her serious tone, anxiety surfaces in my chest, knocking against my ribcage. “Okay. Let’s sit.”

She follows me to the couch, and I face her, waiting.

“There’s no easy way to say it, so I’m just gonna come out with it.”

“Alright.” I nod even though my heart is pounding and sweat is taking over my palms.

She meets my gaze with hesitation. “I’m pregnant.”

Chapter Thirty