Page 89 of State of Grace (First Family 2)

Sam went through the ritual of introducing them and showing their badges.

He stood behind his desk, handsome in a strong, competent sort of way that reminded her a bit of Nick, although Markham’s hair was dark blond, and his eyes were blue. “What can I do for you, Detectives?”

“We’re investigating the murder of Pam Tappen. During the course of our investigation, we’ve come to learn that you once had a relationship with her.”

Judging by his shocked expression, he hadn’t expected that. “Pam is dead?”

“Yes,” Sam said. “She was found yesterday bound and gagged and left to freeze to death in her minivan, which was located miles from her home.”

“Oh my God,” he said, sitting. “That’s horrible.”

“Yes, it is.”

“What does it have to do with me? I haven’t seen her in years.”

“How many years?”

He thought about that for a minute. “Three. I spent some time with her shortly after I lost my wife to breast cancer. We were introduced by a mutual friend at a dinner party and had a lovely conversation over dinner. She reached out to me the following week, asked if I wanted to meet for coffee.”

“And you knew she was married?”

“I did,” he said, grimacing, “and it’s so not my style to get involved with a married woman. But things were a bit of a mess in my life at that time. I’d been left to finish raising three teenagers on my own, and Pam… She was so warm and understanding, and I just… I needed that.”

“How and why did it end?”

“It ended when I couldn’t handle the guilt of being with a married woman. After a couple of months of seeing her, I started to snap out of the initial fog of grief and didn’t like what I saw when I looked in the mirror. I worried about her husband and kids and about people finding out and thinking poorly of me—and having that reflect on my children. I couldn’t do it anymore.”

“How did Pam respond when you broke it off with her?”

“She was sad about it. We both were. We’d found something we both needed in the other, and it was hard to let it go, but it was the right thing to do.” He took a deep breath before he added, “I’m not proud of being involved with a married woman, but I had genuine feelings for her, and she helped me through the most difficult time in my life. However, it ended a long time ago.”

Sam appreciated his candor and forthcomingness. Those were two things that could be hard to come by in her line of work. “We’re trying to understand why someone like Pam, who had a husband and three children she was obviously devoted to, would seek out men outside her marriage. And I ask that with zero judgment. It just seems out of character for the person we’d come to know before we received this information about her extracurricular activities.”

Markham seemed to sag somewhat as he contemplated the proper response to her question. “It was out of character for her. She struggled horribly with it. She loves Bob and didn’t want to divorce him or break up their family. But things between them had changed, and she was in a tough spot.”

“I know you said you hadn’t been in touch with her in years, but when you were, did she mention anything or anyone that was causing her particular stress?”

“Her son Lucas’s football was always a source of strain. It was nonstop tournaments, weekends going here, there and everywhere. As much as she loved Lucas and wanted to support him, she hated those tournaments and the endless commitments. Her younger son was also a gifted athlete, so her years as a football mom were feeling overwhelming to her.”

“This has been very helpful.” Sam stood and placed her business card on his desk. “If you think of anything else that might be relevant, even the smallest thing, please give me a call.”

“I will.” He glanced at her. “Do you remember meeting me before?”

“I do.”

Nodding, he said, “It’s nice to see you again.”

“You, too. Thank you again for your time.”

“I wish there was more I could do. Pam was a lovely person. I’m very sad to hear that she’s been killed.”

“We’ll see ourselves out,” Sam said.

In the elevator, Freddie looked over at her. “How do you know him?”

“I went to him for fertility treatment years ago when I was married to Peter. His name rang a bell, but I didn’t put it together until I saw him.”

“Yikes, that must’ve been an unpleasant blast from the past for you.”