Page 69 of Stars Above the Never Sea (The Last Faeyte #1)

Chapter forty-three

Selene

“ I can’t do this.”

I scrub my hands over my face in frustration, my temper getting the better of me as we walk back from the dock the following afternoon beneath another gray sky.

My boots stamp into the lichen that covers the ground, every crunch a reminder.

The lightness I felt upon waking this morning with Callan’s arms around me has vanished, buried beneath the wave of failure caused by spending hours staring at the starry void of the Never once again, waiting for something to happen.

Anything.

I am failing them. Not Petyr. But Callan.

Esme. Sol, and Merrick. Leo. Matthias. Ryn, and Leesa.

All of the people who linger on the doorsteps of their homes with weary faces as we pass by, watching me trudge back through their town with nothing to show for another day spent staring uselessly into the void they need me to fix.

It has been days, and any hope felt by my arrival is waning. If I can’t fix this, Callan will be forced back onto Volatus , forced into another frantic trip to bring back the supplies Asteria needs before they starve, racing against his own maegis to make it back in time.

I know without asking that Petyr will not permit me to leave with him.

But I felt nothing at the dock. Not a single thing. The shadows refused to respond, my maegis vanishing when I tried to coax it out. “And this damned place—it feels heavy , Callan.”

Even as we cross the bridge, the noise of the rushing water below filling my ears, even before we reach the outer gates, twisting up into the murky sky, I sense it. Something hovers in the air, pulling me down . I look up instead, forcing my feet to slow, and Callan pauses beside me.

My wings ache even at the thought. But I have to do something .

Callan’s face changes, his hands reaching for me. “Selene—,”

I launch myself upright, my wings pushing together in that still unfamiliar rhythm as I flap awkwardly, trying to force them to beat harder, to lift me up.

To help me reach Lucia. To bring her body down.

This is what I should have been doing. Practicing my flying. This is something I can do.

Except whatever strength I managed to find that day in the Sea of Stars does not find me now. My face crumples as I barely clear the top of Callan’s head before my strength fails, and I tumble. My knees smash into the ground, and Callan’s voice rings in my ears. “Selene!”

“I’m alright,” I croak. I push his hands away, regretting it even as they leave me. “Sorry. I’m sorry. I don’t know what’s wrong with me today.”

I bury my face in my hands. I can barely think for that heaviness. It’s a tug, like hands digging into my skin, dragging me down into the ground.

And it scares me.

When he kneels in front of me, I eye him through my fingers. He unpeels them gently, rubbing warmth back into my icy hands. His words are careful. “Is it because of last night? Did I hurt you? Or push you too hard?”

“No.” My voice is nearly a groan.

I have no regrets about last night. Only these feelings, confusing me and pushing me to move closer to him. I give into them, shuffling forward and letting my head fall forward, against his chest. “No regrets.”

“I’m glad.” He strokes over my wings. Rubs gently at the knots in my back from my rushed attempt. “It’s this feeling, then. You’re still getting it?”

I sit back, rubbing at my arms. “Worse. It’s getting worse by the day. But I only feel it here, around the temple. Not in the town.”

His lips press together as he looks up the steps, toward the main doors. “I’m going to speak to Petyr. See if there’s anything he’ll let slip about what’s going on.”

“Will he tell you?”

Slowly, his head shakes. “I doubt it. He has never shared his confidences with me. But I know him better than he realizes. If something is going on, maybe he’ll let something slip.”

He taps his head. “And I have other ways to read him. He knows how to play the game, but there is much to be found in the things he doesn’t say.”

Callan gets to his feet, his eyes soft. “I’m taking you to Esme. Rio will join you. I’ll send him a message.”

I nod, taking his hand. My closed fist rubs at my chest as we walk up and inside, making our way through the entrance hall.

Thankfully, there are few people to be found here in the late afternoon hour, most preparing for the fancy charade they call dinner.

I glance around, looking for any sign of the Metallurgist and my chest loosening when I don’t find him.

Callan snaps at the single Caelumnai who attempts to approach us, and I shrink back from the male and his dark red eyes. Like blood. He watches us leave. “Who was that?”

“Not someone you need to think about right now.” Callan swears beneath his breath, his arm slipping around me when I sag. He helps me up the stairs until he’s almost carrying me. “What’s wrong?”

The pain only grows worse. My eyes start to burn. “ Callan —”

What is this?

“Almost there.” He bangs on my door. “Esme!”

Esme pulls it open, her eyes widening. “Selene?”

I cannot speak for the tears. I tap my chest, my voice a croak. “It hurts.”

A physical ache so deeply buried inside my body that I can barely stand it. As though an old wound has been torn open.

Callan lifts me, carrying me inside. “I’m going to get Rio and send for Matthias. And then I’m taking her out of here, Smee, but I need to speak with Petyr first. Stay with her.”

“Of course.”

The sob catches in my throat as he pulls away. Callan’s eyes blaze, his lips a soothing balm against skin that feels as if it’s being held to an open flame. “I’m going to fix this. We’ll find out what this is, Selene. A few minutes, and I’m taking you back to the house.”

I nod, bringing my knees up and hugging them.

I can’t stop . The pain only grows, even after the door closes. Esme swears beneath her breath. “Gods, Matthias, hurry up. Selene, you’re burning up.”

Cool, damp cloths land against my skin, but they make no difference. The pain is everywhere, a hundred different places across my body. Not an inch of skin feels untouched by it as my back bows.

Agony . As if hot pokers are being laid against my skin. Knives, slipping into my chest, my arms, my legs, stabbing me over and over again. My sobs shift into something sharper. Higher. Louder.

The door smashes into the wall.

Esme twists, a knife appearing in her hands, but she drops it. “Thank the gods. Something is wrong with her. Really wrong. Callan has sent for Matthias.”

“Selene?” Rio’s face swims in my vision. He forces a smile. “Hey, sweetheart. You don’t look so good.”

That tug pulls at me again. I slam my hand against my ribcage, my lips moving in a silent plea for relief. Sweat pools at my hairline, under my arms.

It burns , and I arch.

Rio’s hand runs over my hair. “I know. I know it hurts. Smee, you check on Matthias. I’ll stay.”

Esme’s hand brushes my foot. “I’ll be back.”

Help me. I seek out the maegis, desperation lacing the words inside my mind as the cavern appears. Please. Help me.

They vanish, and my anger grows. What use are you? Why are you even here, if you do nothing? You helped me before.

Not yours.

I pause at the words. What?

Not yours.

You?

Silent agreement.

But you’re here. Help me. What is this pain?

The shadows swirl. They want to be free. They call for aid.

Who?

They shrink away.

Show me, then. Show me the way to them.

My lips form the words. Another face swims into view. Matthias, a deep frown on his face as he presses his fingers to my neck.

Voices rise and fall, silencing at my slurred words. “Show… me.”

The shadows try to hide, to bury themselves in the edges of my mind. No. You will show me.

My hand, clenched so tightly that blood fills my palms, unfurls. Heat flickers. Now.

“Gods,” a voice hisses. Matthias is there when my eyes open. “Selene. Can you hear me?”

I nod, even as the pain begins to waver, and lessen. “The shadows. I need to go.”

Arms around me. Callan’s voice murmurs in my ear. “Where do you need to go, love?”

He helps me upright. Everyone stares at me as I hold my hand over my chest. But of the agony, only embers remain. The remembered echo of pain. “They said that they want to be free. That they need help.”

My voice shakes.

“Who did?” Callan turns my face to his, searching it.

“The shadows,” I whisper. “They spoke to me.”

“Well,” a voice breathes. “That’s different.”

Matthias kneels beside me. “Let me just check you over.”

I shake my head. “I need to go. Or it will start again.”

I can feel it, pushing at the edges. But it waits, as if seeing what I will do. I swallow, eyeing the shadows that unfurl from my palm. They hover in the air.

When I push myself to my feet, more flow. They move toward the doorway, and I glance at Callan uncertainly. “I think that whatever this feeling is. This is the answer. Wherever they lead.”

“Selene,” Rio says quietly. He and Esme watch me, their eyes wide. “Are you sure?”

When I nod, Callan stands. “Then I’ll take you.”

Esme waves a hand. “And leave us behind? I don’t think so.”

Matthias smiles, although worry lingers in his eyes. “An adventure, then. We should get Sol.”

The shadows prod. A flicker of pain, and I waver. “Where is he?”

“In the town.” Matthias studies me. “It can’t wait, can it?”

I shake my head. “You should stay. I don’t know—I don’t know what this is. What it could be.”

But it will be nothing good. Nothing good can come from so much pain.

“Absolutely not.” He straightens. “And miss out on the fun? We can tell him about it later. He’ll be furious. And since make-up sex is the best kind, this is a winning situation all around.” But his voice wavers.

Their eyes all linger on me. I still hesitate. “I don’t want anyone to get hurt.”

“We’ll take a look,” Callan says softly. He pushes back my damp hair. “And if it’s something dangerous, we’ll get out. But if the alternative is watching you screaming in agony on the bed, I think we all choose the shadows.”

“Exactly,” Rio says promptly. “No forcing needed.”

He nudges Esme, his own hand landing on his weapon. “Get your swords, Smee.”

She heads to the chest at the bottom of my bed, pulling out the twin swords she wore on Volatus . She grins. “I really wasn’t cut out to be a maid. This sounds like far more fun.”

They look at Matthias, and he raises his hands. “Absolutely not. You two can do the protecting. I had my fill of bloodshed during military service. I’m a healer .”

My temple spikes with pain. The shadows slip around me, nudging at my back. Urging. “We need to go.”

Callan’s hand brushes my back. “Then we are with you.”

Hala, guide us.