Page 24

CHAPTER 23

W ilder

Over the years, I’d wondered what it would be like to have a normal life. I hadn’t been searching for sunshine and rainbows but just being able to sleep at night without waking up sweating. Or even to be able to enjoy being around people without seeing them for what they were.

Scourges of the earth.

I’d made it an art form to pick out one asshole from another, honing my observation skills until I could even look across the room and know without a shadow of a doubt when some animal was about to perform an evil deed.

That hadn’t made me a very popular kid even when I’d tried to blend in. Maybe because I’d broken my share of noses as a child.

That kid is pure evil.

How many mothers had screamed that after I’d slugged their bully of a son?

How many neighbors had faked concern over my wellbeing only to run away in fear when I’d walked in front of their well-manicured homes?

Why the fuck was I reminiscing?

I stood staring out the window of my kitchen, a mug of now cold coffee in my hand.

I’d sent her away.

I’d offered her what was left of my heart and I’d turned my back on her.

After taking Cassandra home, I’d returned to the shore. I’d needed space or maybe I’d honestly needed distance from her.

She’d acted shocked I’d denied her entrance into the world that would eventually eat her alive. I’d been shocked she’d allowed me to drop her off at her house, although she had exited my vehicle only two seconds after I’d pulled it to the curb.

I was no crusader, no martyr. Hell, I had nothing good left inside of me, but the one act of denying her was perhaps something I could be remembered by. Maybe it was something they could put on my gravestone.

I’d saved a woman from embracing the darkness.

Childhood memories.

I had very little interaction with the social workers that had initially clamored around me as a young child. As everyone had expected, I’d been driven into shock, unable to talk or sleep. I remembered bits and pieces of the time, including hearing them talk about me as if I wasn’t in the room.

In a way, I hadn’t been.

I’d been locked in a dark warped box in my mind, still processing the images that had constantly played out in my thoughts day and night. I do remember they’d finally resorted to admitting me to a hospital where I’d been stuck with needles. I’d suspected later in life they’d been forced to fill me with nutrients since I’d also refused to eat.

Had I asked for my brothers even once? That I couldn’t remember.

Everything had been a huge blur, only a single woman’s face remaining contorted like a monster in my fucked-up little mind. She’d tried to be nice, shoving away mean-looking policemen who’d continued to try to ask me questions about what had happened.

How was I to know if I’d told them anything?

What could I have told them anyway? That my father came home like he usually did, only this time going for her throat. It had all been over with fast, but as I thought about it now, the way the visions played out in my mind were as if the moment had dragged on for hours.

While I’d never forget her screams, begging for her children to be saved, both his ugly childhood rhyme followed by the intense silence had haunted me even more.

My two brothers hadn’t made a single peep.

Not one.

Not a wail.

Not a whimper.

They’d just watched in horror as our lives had been ripped away from us.

Had I even tried to be protective? I did remember asking questions when I was six or seven, begging my foster parents at the time to find my parents. Had I wanted them to be alive or had I blocked out the horror? That’s when the lying had begun. First, I’d been told they didn’t want to see me because I was a bad boy.

Then they’d told me they were dead.

By then, I hadn’t known what to believe. I’d driven the brutal images away, silencing them with shadows. I’d allowed darkness to become my friend.

When I was older, finding them just hadn’t had the same appeal. Maybe that had been selfish of me, but I’d finally found a place in the world, one that I controlled.

But the memory and the horrible deed continued to haunt all three of us, tethering us with long claws that ultimately belonged to our father.

He’d chained us to his memory as much as he’d done so with his brutality.

Now I’d come to believe we were indeed exactly like him.

Our blood tainted.

Our minds fractured.

We were nothing but the products of a monster so naturally, we were as well. I knew I might as well accept it and move on.

But not before ensuring my Lady Butterfly’s life was protected. That much I owed to her after shutting down.

Perhaps one day I’d regret my decision, but at least the decent side of me had finally risen past the sludge of rage and indecency to do the right thing. Was this the part where eventually she’d thank me?

I closed my eyes, envisioning her face as she smiled and when she’d acted coyly. Then an image of her luscious and very naked body quickly replaced it.

Fuck.

She was light to my darkness, but they were always in conflict. They could never coincide, never be allowed to come together because if they were, there was always a violent storm.

My hand was shaking from adrenaline as I raked it through my hair. Last night had been worse than the one before, the nightmares extremely vivid. Maybe because all I’d wanted to do was to go to her house, demanding entrance. Then I’d fuck her over and over again.

But I’d maintained self-control.

Only when the morning light had final drifted in through the blinds, I’d come to the realization that control wouldn’t last forever.

I was biding time and it wouldn’t last.

What I wanted to do right now was to gut David Foster, but I couldn’t risk bringing any harm to Cassandra. Instead, I’d spent half the night digging up dirt on the man. By the time he walked into work this morning, his entire world would crumble around him. Doing so had been completely unsatisfying.

I clenched my fist around the mug, hearing the damn piece of ceramic crack. Disgusted, I moved to the sink, pouring out the rest and tossing it into the trash can. I’d need to go hunting very soon or I’d spiral into revenge-based madness.

Maybe that’s why I’d made a phone call as soon as the timing had been right. I wasn’t certain if doing so was in my best interest or that of my brothers, but at this point, I was well aware I couldn’t continue living this way.

Ten minutes passed.

Another fifteen.

All I could think about was Cassandra and that she hadn’t budged with either her insistence I wasn’t such a bad man or her refusal to admit she was investigating me. My possessive side was right there, crushing the thin layer that I’d cemented around myself.

Fuck.

Maybe a shower would break me away from my lurid thoughts. Just as I started to head out of the room, my phone rang.

I expected Zach or Xander, but the number on the screen provided me with a strange sense of anger that had no place at the moment. It was an inquiry and nothing more.

I bristled as soon as I recognized it.

“Wilder Blackwell.”

“Yes, Mr. Blackwell. This is Warden Thomas Carter of the Red Onion State Prison. I got your message.”

There was not enough air in the room. I moved to the back door leading from the kitchen to the patio. “Yes, Warden Carter. Thank you for returning my call.”

“You didn’t leave much on your message, Mr. Blackwell, so what can I do for you?”

“As you likely know, I’m one of Cain Demarco’s sons.”

His hesitation was followed by a strangled breath. “I’m very well aware of who you are, Mr. Blackwell. However, quite frankly I’m shocked that you’re calling me. You shouldn’t have been told anything. That was my understanding.”

“Why keep the man’s children in the dark?” I was growing angry; the three of us had asked questions over the years and had been told nothing.

“So you could live your lives like normal kids. So you wouldn’t have the stigma of who and what your father was attached to you.” He was surprisingly exasperated.

“I prefer the truth to some bullshit I was forced to endure as a child.”

“How did you find out?”

I laughed. “Let’s just say there is no safe secret on this earth. All it took was a reporter digging.”

“Goddamn it. I’m sorry you found out that way, but this complicates things.”

“Why would it complicate things, Mr. Carter? The fucking son of a bitch who gave his sperm so I could be created into a child is dead. I simply wanted to know the gory and hopefully torturous details of how he was murdered.”

The catch in his voice pissed me off. Was he actually trying to suggest that he hadn’t heard much worse given he was the warden of a prison that house fucking serial killers? That was utter bullshit.

“Mr. Blackwell. We need to talk. I don’t know if you have the time to come to the prison.”

“Over my fucking dead body, Mr. Carter. No offense meant. Whatever you have to say to me, you can do so over the phone.”

“That isn’t the best option, Mr. Blackwell.”

“Just fucking tell me. Was he gutted like a pig?”

“No, Mr. Blackwell. He wasn’t.”

* * *

Cassandra

“You’re kidding me,” I said before taking a bite of my salad.

Cash shook his head. “Nope. Our buddy Drew is insisting that he’s not the one who killed those women.”

“Still. Well, he’s consistent. Didn’t you say you had rock solid evidence?”

“He has a few people believing him,” he said as he glanced around the diner. We’d selected one off the beaten path, siting in a booth far away from other people so we could talk more freely. I needed his advice and, evidently, he needed mine. “However, you wouldn’t believe the videos found at his house. Plus, he had a list of names that coincided with the dead girls as well. Plus, with a little more digging on his computer, supposedly they found photographs of the dead girls after he’d…”

“He’d what?” I leaned in. I had to admit, I was a sucker for learning.

“Let’s just say the fucker has some medical training and he used it. Just disgusting shit, man. What those girls suffered is just horrific. I hope the guy fries in the electric chair.” He took a bite of his sandwich.

“Then what is he basing his insistence on?”

“On the fact he was found bound with the evidence right there on his desk next to him. And there was an anonymous tip leading the police right to him. Still, there’s no evidence of who did that and at this point, it doesn’t seem to matter to the detectives working on the case. Just Daddy and his cronies.”

“What are these videos?” For some reason, I was starting to lose my appetite. Medical training. The two words stuck in my mind.

“Don’t you dare breathe a word of this, but he found his victims through a porn site. Sugar Babies. Only get this, the girls who provide sexy videos aren’t prostitutes or lost waifs. They’re respected teachers, doctors, and even politicians. A real scandal for the city if the news gets out. It’s insane. So far, the information hasn’t been released to the public but when it is, whew…”

Sugar Babies.

Oh, my fucking God.

My mouth suddenly went dry and when I reached for my glass of wine, I almost knocked it over.

“You okay?” he asked.

“Fine. Just fine.” It was time to delete all traces I’d ever signed on to Sugar Babies.

“It’s really pushing my skill level. But I admit, it’s kind of juicy. Mr. Monahan also threw out that the man who attacked and held him hostage was none other than Wilder Blackwell. Interesting, huh? The city’s latest hero.”

Oh, dear God. I tried to laugh it off, but my gut told me Mr. Monahan was lucky to still be alive. “Yeah, crazy. Somehow, I doubt someone of Mr. Blackwell’s prestige and reputation would bother with a slug like Drew Monahan.”

“That’s what the detective thinks too. I don’t know. It’s all crazy but it’ll sell newspapers. I thought you were leery of the guy.”

I shrugged. “He’s not so bad. Just misunderstood.”

“That means your date went well.”

“Hush!”

He grinned. “How about your case? You said you needed some help.”

All I could think about was the fact Wilder was somehow making up for the fact he couldn’t save the girl he refused to tell me about. How the hell could I find out what happened since he’d refused to talk to me?

My mind drifted to the incredible night we’d shared followed by his dismissal of me. It had been poignant, but it hurt. It hurt like hell. My God, I should be afraid of him, but I missed him.

I craved him.

There had to be something very wrong with me.

Swallowing, I did what I could to regroup. “Um. Yeah, the Blackwell case is proving to be difficult to sort through. They were orphans and something tells me all these rumors about them are based on what they went through in foster care.”

“You mean about their love of all things dark and disturbing?” He had a gleam in his eye.

“Something like that.” I was growing more uncomfortable by the minute.

“Maybe Wilder Blackwell is like some hero in dark clothing. That would add a cool element to the story.”

“That’s a little grim, my darling Cash.” I was trying to be lighthearted, but my mind was swimming around various possibilities. Still, what I’d heard didn’t mean Wilder had done anything but provide justice for the poor dead girls.

“Why are you wrestling with the foster issue?”

“I don’t know. It just feels like if I knew what happened to them then I could find a missing piece of this complicated puzzle. But so far, I don’t see any improprieties and there’s no confirmation the Obsidian Society is anything but a method of obtaining employees. I know about your friend, but I think he embellished the story a little.”

He chuckled. “Maybe. Braxton certainly didn’t like anyone telling him he wasn’t good enough. If you’re so intent on finding answers about the past, why not go to the source?”

“Meaning what? There’s nothing in the records. They were sealed and I think it’s because their father was put in prison.”

“He was?”

“For murdering their mother and other girls too.”

“Whew, girl. You could be opening up old wounds. That’s just crazy, but maybe your buddy Wilder is trying to make up for what his father did.”

“Maybe.” I picked at my salad, finally pushing it away. “So what did you mean about going to the source?”

“Meaning the records might have been sealed, but there were people involved. Granted, given the age of the three men, the foster workers might have retired, but if so, they’d not bound by some moral code not to talk to you.”

“Yeah, but they could get into some kind of trouble.”

Cash shrugged. “Some people need to get the darkness off their chests. You know, like all the dirty little secrets they keep locked away?”

Why did it almost feel as if he was directing the comment to me?

“Well, that’s true. Maybe you have a point. The entire case was handled out of Chicago.”

“There you go. Are you going to eat that tomato?”

I laughed. “Have at it.”

Why was it that it almost felt as if the walls were closing in around me?

* * *

Fortunately, the rest of our lunch conversation wasn’t as conflicting, yet as I headed to my car, I had a strange sense that I was being watched all over again.

The difference in before was that this time I wanted to be. And I wanted it to be my mysterious stranger who’d awoken the woman inside.

I laughed at myself as I struggled to find my keys in my purse. Maybe I was waxing poetic a little.

Not like me at all.

Cash pulled out and I waved. Now I was even lying to my best friend and colleague. Tonight, I’d deal with Sugar Babies. But this afternoon, I’d hunt down the location of the single name I’d seen in the documents. The one case worker who’d remained constant.

With my key fob in hand, I pressed the button to unlock it.

When a hand gripped my arm, I jerked around, ready to drive the key into whoever it was.

“David. What the fuck?” I tried to jerk my arm away, but he wasn’t allowing that to happen.

He held me even more tightly, digging his fingers into my skin. “You bitch.”

“I suggest you get your hand off me or I’ll call the police.”

“Oh, you think you’re going to do that too? After all you’ve done? This isn’t over. I am going to ruin you.”

“What the fuck are you talking about? And let go of me.”

He moved closer, crowding me against the car door. “Don’t try and fake it. I was let go this morning. I walked into the office and that bitch I thought was on my side just fired me. Because of you.”

“You mean the woman you were fucking, David? Boo hoo.” I had no idea what the hell he was talking about, but I did appreciate karma’s help.

As soon as I managed to jerk my arm away, he snapped his fingers around my neck. My air was cut off, fear sweeping through me. There was no way I could scream.

“You ruined me. Now, I’m going to ruin you. Maybe I should just kill you instead.”

Wheezing, I managed to drive my fingers into his neck with one hand, pummeling my other fist into his chest.

He let go, backing away by several inches as if he regretted his actions.

“You fucking…” I couldn’t stop coughing. “I had nothing… to do…”

“Save it, you slut. You’re going down.”

Before I could react, he walked off. I slumped against the car, stars floating in front of my eyes.

What the fuck had just happened?