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CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE

RORA AND STOCKTON saw each other on campus throughout the week, and they hung out together in the evenings a few times, meeting up at a restaurant one night and then two other times at a typical watering hole that was frequented by people in their shared friend group, a sort of dive with crappy fried food and cheap cans of beer and local bands playing on what barely counted as a stage.

Friday night, however, Maibell was there, and they both indicated to the other that they could handle that, that they were going to have to be in similar places where she was from time-to-time. But then, when Stockton asked if she wanted to come back to his place, she accepted immediately.

The Maibell fallout wasn’t terrible.

Apparently, the worst had been the confrontation in the coffee shop. She didn’t seem to have told anyone about what had happened, though. Others in the friend group ran into Rora with Stockton, were surprised, and Rora would explain that she had already told Maibell herself, and they would say, “Wow, she didn’t say anything to me about that.”

Maibell was apparently pointedly not speaking about it with anyone.

It was awkward, but it could have been worse.

And none of Rora’s shared friends seemed to have been poisoned against her by Maibell, which Rora had worried might happen.

Still, they left.

At Stockton’s place, he called up into the house to tell his dad that he was home, but there was no answer.

They went up to look into what Stockton called his father’s study, a big room with a billiard table on one side and a desk and a couch and easy chairs on the other—it sort of seemed like a man cave to Rora. Anyway, it was empty.

“Too bad,” said Stockton, “I wanted him to meet you.”

“Another time,” she said.

“Yeah,” he said.

They went to Stockton’s room, and he bounced around, asking her if she wanted to watch TV or just listen to music. Then he spent a bunch of time changing the music before saying that he could probably be doing this with the app on his phone instead of using the TV remote.

She was perched on his bed because there was nowhere else to sit.

He came over and sat down next to her. “Swear to the sun above, Rora, I didn’t just bring you here because I wanted to try something.”

She shook her head. “I wasn’t thinking that!”

“Well, we’re in my room, and… and…”

“It’s okay,” she said.

He eyed her.

She gave him a small smile.

He leaned over and kissed her.

She sighed, surrendering to that.

They kissed gentle, long, thorough kisses for a while, and then he pulled away, and tucked her hair out of her face, looking into her eyes. “That probably did not make it seem like I was not out to try something.”

She giggled. “I want to, you know.”

He traced the outline of her cheek and her jaw. “I’m not trying to pressure you or anything. We have time. It’s only been, like, a week.”

“Oh, are we moving too fast?” She winced. “Sorry. You’re right. We can wait.”

“W-well… you…” He looked at her lips. “I mean, I think it would be up to you if you think it’s too fast.”

“It would be up to both of us?”

“I’m fine with it being fast,” he said with a mischievous little grin.

She grinned back. “Oh, you are, huh? I see.”

“Obviously,” he said. “I would have… at the hotel last Saturday.”

“No, you wouldn’t have! You stopped it.”

“Yeah, but only because… I mean, you might have let me do that if I hadn’t, but you would’ve regretted it.”

“Because of Maibell? Because that’s taken care of, I mean, as best as it can be, I suppose.”

He ran a lock of her hair between his thumb and forefinger. “Because you wouldn’t have been ready.”

“I’m not a baby or anything, Stockton. I’m twenty-one years old.”

He nodded. “Yeah. True.”

“I guess you’re so much more experienced than me,” she whispered. “How many people have you been with?”

He coughed, letting go of her hair. “Oh, we’re doing that, are we?”

“Well, you know that I’ve only been with one other person,” she said.

“Me too,” he said. “Just Maibell.”

“Oh,” she said and she was surprised.

“I might kind of suck at it,” he said in a low voice. “Maybe that’s why she cheated on me. Maybe that’s why she dumped me.”

Rora shook her head. “I don’t think so. I really—”

“Well, when we eventually do it, whenever that is,” said Stockton, “I want you to tell me. Like, be honest.”

She shook her head. “Okay, well, how about we just give each other feedback while we’re doing it.” Even though, last time, in her only other experience, she hadn’t been entirely honest about it. The part where Bruin had put his cock in her, it had been overwhelming and a strange sort of experience, pleasurable but raw, just on the edge of not-so-pleasant, truly. Even so, she’d wanted it, wanted the not-so-pleasant part of it, and she wasn’t sure if she’d want that with Stockton.

That had been an experience, something with a stranger, a gauntlet to cross, a rite of passage. But this would be about the two of them.

Even so, she wanted to do it, if only because she wanted to know if it would be different with him, very different than it had been with the older stag who had taken her for the first time. She hoped it would be different, she supposed, but she wasn’t sure in what way she wanted it to be different, not exactly.

He shrugged. “Okay, I guess so. Like, if I’m not doing something you like, you’ll just tell me?”

“Yeah,” she said.

“That seems so fucking obvious,” he muttered. “I might actually be very bad at this. Let’s not tonight, okay? Let’s wait? I think I’m too nervous.”

“About me?” She couldn’t help but admit that Maibell’s words had stung. She was not as svelt as the other doe, and she knew that Stockton had told her that she was gorgeous, and that he had specifically said on other occasions that he liked the softness and the heft of her, that he liked women to be shaped the way she was shaped.

She wanted to believe him—no, she did believe him.

But she couldn’t help but wonder if Maibell had some insight into Stockton. Had he decided that a fat, practically-a-virgin doe who had told him that she was convinced something was wrong with her would be a sure thing? Had he lowered his standards because he didn’t want to experience the pain of infidelity? Was he dating down?

She didn’t mean to think these thoughts, but they slipped into her head without her permission. She could not shut them up.

“Aren’t I safe in that way?” she said. “You probably think I’m easily impressed. After all, you’re my first boyfriend.”

“No,” he said immediately, shaking his head. “I don’t think you’re easily impressed.” He paused. “But I guess I would like to think you’d be safe in that way, because I want to think that you like enough things about me to excuse it if I’m not perfect in every way.”

“That is true,” she said. “And you are perfect.”

“No,” he said, shaking his head.

“Do you… is it Maibell who made you doubt yourself like this? Because she slept with someone else?”

He let out a huff of air. “I’m being dumb, really.” He eyed her. “I like you because you’re real, and you’re easy to be around, and I don’t usually feel this pressure to be something I’m not with you. But… what do you want with sex, anyway? Like, what do you even like?”

“What do you mean by that?” she said.

He considered. “I don’t know. If you’re going to want someone to be, like, rough with you or something—”

“No, I don’t think so,” she interrupted.

“Good, because I don’t think I like that,” he said.

She remembered what Bruin had said when they’d been together, that he fantasized about being with someone innocent, someone who didn’t know about sex, and she wondered if that would be hot for Stockton, too. “Maybe I might like it if you, um, taught me things?” She gave him a look she hoped was coy. “Because I’ve only done it once and I might need someone who knows what he’s doing to help me?”

He sucked in a breath. “Uhh…”

“If that was bad—”

“No,” he said, shaking his head. His voice dropped in pitch. “Like, teach you what sort of things?”

“I’ve never given a blow job,” she said. “Can you teach me that? Teach me how you like it?”

His lips parted and he simply gaped at her for a long moment.

She giggled. “What?”

“That was just really fucking hot,” he muttered.

She beamed.

“You won’t like it,” he said. “I don’t think girls like it. I can’t see how they would.”

She was quiet for a minute, and then she just said it. “Maibell didn’t like it?” Maibell was apparently a long shadow hanging over them, after all. Why not just face it?

He touched the point of one of his antlers. “Uh, she was not a big fan. But we don’t have to keep talking about her.”

“I think we probably will have to keep talking about her, actually, and we might as well just get used to it.” She shrugged, making a helpless face.

“Well, I’d rather not talk about her,” he said. “So, back to, uh, to teaching you.” His voice cracked a little on the word “teaching.”

She smiled at him. She couldn’t help it. “Yeah, back to that.” She was starting to feel a gathering of warmth in her belly, in her groin. “I could get on the floor and kneel down?”

He coughed, his face turning red. “You, uh, you could, but you should know, that’s not necessary, you know, strictly necessary.”

“You want me to?”

He ran his fingers nervously over his antlers. “I can’t ask you to do that, Rora.”

She got down on the floor, on her knees, right in front of him.

He let out a very noisy breath. “I don’t fucking deserve you,” he said in a very tight voice.

She grinned. “Well, we’ll see if you say that if I’m any good.”

“No, no, I’m going to help you,” he said softly. “You’ll be fine. And then, when I return the favor, you will help me, yeah? Because, like, with Maibell—maybe you’re right, we’re just going to keep talking about her—she said I sucked at it, and that she thought she probably sucked on going down on me and then we just didn’t do it to each other anymore. So, I’m going to need assistance, too, that’s all I’m—”

She unzipped him.

His voice stopped entirely.

She grinned up at him.

He swallowed visibly.

She tried to get his dick out through the zipper, but he was crazy hard and crazy huge—sun and moon, he was bigger than Bruin had been, thicker and longer. Oh, wow, so she had thought Bruin was big, but this…

She had to unbutton him to get him out entirely, and he puffed and flushed and sighed, but just let her.

“Am I doing okay?” she asked him.

“Uh, yeah, uh huh,” he said softly.

“Because you’re not really being very instructive for someone who’s supposed to be teaching me,” she teased.

“Yeah, you’re doing fine,” he said.

She stroked him, and he seemed to get even harder and huger.

He let out a noisy breath and shuddered, looking down at her. “You have no idea how hot this is right now. You just don’t even know.”

She eyed him, stroking this thick, hot pulsing thing she’d uncovered, that barely fit in her hands, and she said, “There’s no way this even fits in my mouth.”

“Fuck,” he groaned. “You don’t have to say shit like that.”

She snickered. “I’m being serious.”

“Oh,” he said, nodding. “Right. Well, you know, if you don’t want to do this, just stop. I mean, stop anytime, of course, but if you—”

“I want to,” she said. She shut her eyes, leaned in, and planted a kiss on the tip of it.

He groaned.

She grinned. She kissed him again, but this time, she used her tongue a little bit. Like French kissing the head of his cock, she thought, and that made something tug inside her warm groin. It felt nice, just as nice as kissing, really, and she did it again.

He let out another groan, an elongated one. “That’s so good, Rora,” he breathed. “Moon, that’s good.”

She kept at it, continuing to work her tongue against him like she was kissing him, but putting more of him in her mouth.

He huffed. “Fuck,” he said, his voice strained.

She did that for a little longer, since he seemed to like it, but then she thought that the point of this was to suck him, wasn’t it? She worked at fitting as much of him as she could in her mouth.

He made approving noises as her lips inched down the shaft of him.

Then, when she got as much as she thought she could fit, and the head of him was dangerously toward the back of her throat, she started to suck.

He made a high-pitched noise. “Uh.” Pause. “ Ow. ”

She stopped, horrified, pulling away, pulling off. “I’m sorry.”

“Just, uh, maybe less tugging like that? What you were doing before, you know, that was fantastic.”

She surveyed him. Okay, it was not about sucking, was it? Maybe it was more about a little bit of suction, just enough to keep him in her mouth.

“Or if you, um, like, back and forth?”

Right, obviously, it should mimic sex! He wanted her to use her mouth on him like that. Duh. She should have realized… “Got it!” she said brightly and slid onto him again.

He panted. “Only if you want to, though. If you want to stop—” He let out a groan. “Oh, kill me now, but please don’t stop. That is…” His head tilted back, looking up at the ceiling and he gasped in obvious pleasure. “Good, good, fuck, that’s so good.”

She pulled off for a second, thinking of something. “Um, question?”

He made a long moan.

Every part of her body that was sexual came to a point of intense pleasure—her clitoris, the tips of her nipples, that sort of thing. She would bet money a penis worked the same way. “Where is it the most sensitive? Your cock, I mean?”

“Uh… the head?” He murmured. “The…” He used his fingers, showing her the place at the back of it, the underside, where his foreskin attached. “Probably there.”

“Got it,” she breathed, and dragged her tongue over that spot.

He let out a string of swear words.

She slid down onto his cock, not taking him that deep, actually, using suction to keep him there and bobbing up and down while using her tongue to massage the most sensitive part of his cock.

He kept swearing.

He came in her mouth very quickly, and that surprised her.

“Sorry!” he panted. “Sorry, I meant to tell you but it just happened really fast.”

She just swallowed it. It seemed easy to swallow. It was on the back of her tongue. She barely tasted it, but the texture was a little strange. Still, overall, not bad, she thought.

“Sorry,” he said again.

She opened her eyes. She’d closed them, she now realized, and she didn’t know when she’d done that. She smiled up at him, smiled as well as she could with his cock still in her mouth.

He looked at her, practically devastated. “You are… so fucking amazing. I am… Fuck.” He touched her face, ran his finger over her lip, touched the base of him and her lip and shivered. “This is too hot to be real.”

She giggled, but it was muffled, because she still had him in her mouth.

“I want to make you come,” he said. “I want to make you come, too.”

She liked having him in her mouth. She didn’t know if she wanted to let him go. But she did, easing herself off. “Okay.”

He yanked her up off of her knees and pulled her into his arms to kiss her, hard, on the mouth, with tongue. He pulled away. “You okay? Was it awful? Tell me.”

“Not even a little awful,” she said. “It’s nice. Like kissing.”

He considered. “Okay, but when you’re kissing, you don’t get a mouthful of, uh, that.”

“I just swallowed it,” she said. “It’s fine. It’s only at the end.” She lifted a shoulder. “With me, the whole time, it’ll be… gross.”

“No way,” he said. “I mean, I assure you, there is nothing gross about that part of a woman’s body, absolutely nothing.”

If he said so. She just shrugged again.

“Can I look at you there?” he whispered.

She nodded. “Yeah.”

“Maybe we should…” He looked down at his chest. “I’ll take off my shirt if you take off yours, huh?”

She giggled. “Okay.”

He stripped his shirt off, and he was wiry and compact beneath, but his shoulders were broad. He nodded at her. “You agreed, come on. I’ve been… maybe I shouldn’t say this, but I’ve been imagining seeing you without a shirt for a while now.”

“How long is a while?” she said, tugging her shirt over her head. Now, she was just in her bra, and she was self-conscious about her belly again.

“I mean, you know, I promise I wasn’t doing it the whole time you were sitting with me in that bar that time and telling me you were unwantable.”

Her eyes widened. “What?”

“I swear, I was not looking at your cleavage that whole night,” he said. “Because, you know, I was not available, and you were convinced you were ugly, so…” He smirked. “And you are… wow.” He grinned down into her cleavage now. “I’m going to touch you. If you don’t like it, stop me.”

She was still stunned.

He was fondling her through her bra. “I love the way you’re shaped. You’re, like, perfect. Your breasts, they are definitely perfect.”

It felt good. She shut her eyes and let him touch her. “You were thinking about seeing me topless that night?”

“No, I just said that I swear I wasn’t,” he said in a low and teasing voice. “I just said that I promise I would never do that. That would have been very wrong.” He pulled the cup of her bra away to bare one of her breasts. “Oh, there we are.” He rubbed his finger over her nipple, making it stiffen. “So fucking perfect. I want to see the other one, too.”

She felt shy but pleased as he tugged that cup away too.

He rubbed both of his thumbs over her nipples as he cupped her breasts with both hands. “Can I suck?”

She nodded. “Yes, please.”

He grinned like he’d been given permission to do the thing he wanted most in life and lowered his face to take one nipple in his mouth.

She shut her eyes and moaned as he stimulated her. He went back and forth with his mouth, and he eventually took her bra off. At some point, she ended up lying on her back as he hovered over her, tasting and teasing her. She writhed against him, very turned on, very aroused.

By the time they got around to undoing her pants, she was all swollen and wet down there.

She felt self-conscious about that, but he put his mouth on her without any hesitation.

That felt good, too.

She thought about grabbing his antlers, like she had with Bruin, but Bruin had told her to do that, and she wasn’t sure if Stockton would like it.

He went right for her opening, sticking his tongue into her. Did all men do that? Why?

It felt good, but… she tried to angle her clit down.

He ignored it.

She lay still, then, letting him tongue-fuck her, which didn’t feel terrible, she supposed, but…

She realized this was the problem, right? She hadn’t known to mimic sex when giving him a blow job, because she wanted clitoral stimulation, and she had thought he would like what she liked. He, on the other hand, thought she’d want to have him fuck her with his tongue. It made sense to him, but she was going to have to tell him…

Just. How?

Well, he had said he wanted her to tell him if he wasn’t good at it, hadn’t he?

Yeah, but she needed to be nice about it. She liked him. And then, she thought of what to say. She took a deep breath. “So, there’s a part of me that’s most sensitive, too, just like with your cock.”

He paused. “I’m not licking the most sensitive part, am I?”

“Well, it only makes sense you’d think that—”

“I’m a fucking idiot,” he said, and moved his tongue to her clitoris. He flicked it, gentle. “It’s your clit, right? Right?”

“Yes,” she said, giggling in embarrassment.

“Fuck me, why am I stupid?”

“Don’t,” she breathed, “please don’t be that hard on yourself. I don’t need—”

“I’ll make it up to you?”

“Nothing to make up for. It’s not like what you were doing felt bad .”

“Is there a part of your clitoris…” He paused to lick it in a positively delicious way, one that made her toes literally curl. She let out a squeal. “That’s more sensitive than another part?”

“Um.” She gasped. “Uh…” She reached down and he pulled back, looking at her. “This part, here, probably.”

“The underside,” he said with a smile. “It’s the same with us, between men and women, huh?”

“Maybe,” she said. “But, um, sometimes it’s too sensitive, and it’s kind of not good there, so this part.” She gestured. “Up here, the hood of it. That’s where you should, um, that’s the best spot.”

“Understood,” he said in a low voice and then he was licking her again, in the delicious way.

She couldn’t stop herself from grabbing onto his antlers.

He growled in appreciation.

“Sorry?” she managed.

“No, that’s fucking hot,” he told her.

So she steered him with his antlers, and he licked her, and she didn’t know if it was because she’d spent so much time getting worked up while sucking him or because his tongue inside her had gotten her more worked up or because she just felt relaxed now, or because his little tongue work there really was delicious , but she felt apart almost right away, her orgasm a sweet and imperative bubble that rose up in her and burst in flutters of goodness.