Page 15

T here’s something about those vulnerable moments in between sleep and awake that have this hazy, almost other reality, kind of feeling to them. It’s a place where the brain struggles to determine what’s real and what’s not.

For instance, the murderous rampage I was gleefully twirling my way through was most definitely not real. However, the dick nestled deep inside my pussy? Very, very real.

“You finally awake, angel?” Saint murmurs in my ear, his lips brushing along the length of my neck. “I’m dying here.”

My leg is resting over his hip, and his hand slides up my sides to cup my naked breast. Before I can respond, the bed shifts behind me.

“And you called me impatient,” Rogue’s deep voice mutters. “Maybe you should’ve kept your dick out of her until she could consent.”

“It was cold. She was warm. It made sense.”

Rogue’s grunt forces free the giggle I’d been withholding.

“Ahh. There she is. Ready to be fucked, angel?”

“Jesus Christ,” Rogue mutters.

Glancing over my shoulder, I wrap my hand around the back of his neck. “You can fuck me too, big guy. No man left behind.”

“Remy…” he growls.

Saint’s laugh rings through the room. “In that case…” His hips slide back, the drag of his dick inside me too perfect for words. My pussy is so wet, I can feel the dampness between my thighs as he thrusts back in.

After my time with Ace, and having all of my guys home, my heart is whole, but there’s an urgency inside. My demons are demanding revenge. Justice. They don’t want to wait any longer. The clock on the wall is ticking, and time is almost up.

Yet here I am again, struggling to fully bring forth the darkness like I need to. There’s simply too much light keeping the shadows in check. Too much of the Remy I could’ve been and not enough of the one I became instead. I need to fix that, and there’s one easy way to do so.

When I put my hand on Saint’s chest, he stills.

“What is it, Remy?”

The fact that he’s using my real name tells me he really does understand me as well as he’s always claimed he does.

“I need you to do something for me.”

His eyes are steady on mine. “Anything. You know that.”

“Make it hurt.”

Rogue’s hand flexes on my hip. “Gorgeous?—”

“No. You both need to understand. Right now, I need the reminder of why I started my crusade in the first place. I need to be the Avenging Angel, and that’s incredibly difficult when I’m constantly reminded of how real men treat women because you all never let me forget. My heart beats again because you forced it to, and right now, that’s a weakness I can’t afford. I can’t hesitate when facing my brother’s evil. In order to keep all of us alive, I need to be the vicious, deadly woman I was before you.”

Saint brushes his thumb along my bottom lip, his eyes darting between mine as if he’s searching for something. “Define hurt .”

“I don’t want soft or sweet. Be rough. Bring me right up to the edge where pleasure turns to pain, then push me over. I have a safeword. Get me so close to the point of using it that I’m screaming for mercy.” His hand grips my chin, tightening until it’s almost uncomfortable. The muscles in his jaw bulge as he struggles between his own dark side and the one that refuses to hurt the woman he loves. So I whisper the words I know he needs to hear. “I trust you.”

“Fuck!” He glances above my shoulder, having an entire unspoken conversation with the man behind me. When his eyes shift back to mine, I know I’ve won. His face has hardened, and there’s a distinct sparkle in his hazel eyes. Dominant Saint has come out to play. “Fine. Here’s how this is going to play out. You get to be our little slut, but if we reach a point where you are forced to use your safeword, you’ll never see this side of us again because you’ll have ruined us. Don’t let this get that far. Do you understand what I’m saying?”

I do. And I refuse to hurt the men I love.

“Yes, sir.”

“Good girl.” He pulls out of me, reaching under his head for his pillow. With efficiency, he removes the pillow case. “Up on your knees.”

Pushing myself up, I kneel in the center of the bed between the two men who are staring at me like lions eyeing their next meal. It makes me feel both powerful and exposed at the same time.

Saint sits, twisting the pillow case until it’s tight like a?—

“Turn around, angel, and put your hands behind your back.”

My breath hitches, and my palms grow damp. We’ve only attempted this once, and it went much better than I had expected, but it’s the worst of my triggers so I know things are about to get real.

Shifting on the bed, I sit on my heels and place my hands against my lower back. My heart has already started to pound in my chest, and at the first brush of Saint’s fingers against my wrists, I inadvertently flinch.

“We haven’t even gotten started yet, angel. Say the word, and we can go back to fucking you senseless without all the other stuff.”

I shake my head. “That right there is why you’re the only ones who can do this. I love you.”

His thumb and forefinger grip my chin and force me to meet his steely stare over my shoulder. “I fucking love you. Remember that.”

In a few short moments, my hands are restrained and sweat is breaking out along my skin. Using my hands as a leash, he turns me around until I’m in between Rogue’s legs. My big guy is stroking that monster cock of his, precum dribbling down his length.

“Suck his dick, and make it good.” Saint’s voice is different. Grittier. Raw. His palm lands between my shoulder blades, pushing me down until my lips are poised above Rogue. “Don’t go easy on her, brother.”

“Not planning to.” Rogue grips the back of my head, pulling me down onto his dick. He’s not gentle. His tip hits the back of my throat, making me gag as my mouth spreads wide to take in his girth. We’ve just barely begun, and my jaw is already screaming.

“Fuck. Our little slut looks so fucking hot swallowing your dick.” Saint roughly grips my hands, and my panic flares. I try to jerk off Rogue’s dick, but his hand holds me down. My pulse spikes and my belly flips, tears running down my cheeks as Rogue starts to thrust into my mouth. Then Saint’s finger runs between the crease of my cheeks. “But look at this pretty ass just begging to be fucked.”

Oh god.

Air is becoming a precious commodity as my breathing falters. The memories I’ve managed to lock up slowly slither out of their hiding places. My whimper is loud, ringing in my ears. Rogue’s hand releases my head, letting me up for some desperately needed oxygen.

“What was that? Got something to say?” Saint asks.

You asked for this. You knew what you were doing. You can do this, Remington. Take a deep breath in and exhale. That’s it. No one can hurt you anymore. You’re stronger now than ever before.

I shake my head, meeting Saint’s eyes over my shoulder. “No, sir.”

My voice isn’t as steady as I would’ve preferred, but there’s nothing I can do about that.

Saint pulls me up, his chest plastered against my back. “Remember what they took, Remington?” he murmurs in my ear. “Well, I’m fucking taking it back the same way. You are mine. Your pain is mine. Not fucking theirs. It’s going to fucking hurt, but it will be the only thing you remember from this moment forward. Do you understand me?”

A sob nearly chokes me, but I swallow it down. At the time, I thought they had taken everything. But in reality, it was so much more than I could comprehend. The ruthless, cruel men stole the light from my soul. Bruises, blood, and pain were all they left behind.

Saint’s right. I’m going to let him steal it back because at least I can trust him with it.

“Yes, sir.”

His hand fists in my hair just as his lips brush against my ear. “You're our little slut now, right, angel?”

“Yes, sir.”

“Then show me how a good little slut sucks cock.”

He roughly drags me back down, his free hand grabbing Rogue’s dick and forcing my mouth to take him in deep. I don’t have time to process the fact that Saint just touched Rogue’s dick, or that Rogue damned near choked on his own tongue, because I’m deepthroating as much of his length as I’m able.

Saint yanks me up, only to slam me back down. My eyes track his hand at the base of Rogue’s cock each time I slide up and plunge down. It somehow grounds me, and suddenly he’s damn near balls deep with each stroke.

“That’s it. Nice and fucking deep just like a good little slut.”

“Son of a bitch!” Rogue groans.

“You take over, brother. I’m going to fuck our little slut’s ass nice and rough so she never forgets the feel of me stretching her tight hole.”

Rogue’s hands grip my hair tightly, the pinch of pain causing me to gasp just as he thrusts hard down my throat.

“You heard him, gorgeous. Fucking take it all.”

He pulls me down until not even breathing through my nostrils will save me. His long legs slide up, his heavily muscled thighs bracketing my head, holding me down on his dick. Then one hand releases my hair only to pinch my nose shut with his knuckles. Terror races through my brain, but oddly I don’t struggle.

“Goddammit. That’s it. Choke her out.”

I don’t notice Saint sliding in behind me or him notching his dick at the tight pucker of my ass. I don’t even notice his thumb pressing through the dry ring of muscle or the way he spits on my crack as a sorry excuse for lube. It isn’t until he thrusts his dick into my ass without warning that all the alarm bells sound off in my brain.

Rogue releases me, and I try to gasp for air, except I can’t because Saint has stolen it. White-hot pain sears through me, and memories of another man fucking my ass with abandon begin to play like a highlight reel in my mind. The way he laughed when he said I was bleeding. The way his buddy just rubbed it around and used it as lube when it was his turn. The way it hurt so badly that I screamed against the gag they had placed in my mouth and ended up bursting all of the blood vessels in my right eye.

“It’s still me, angel. I’m right here. Tell me. Who’s the man fucking you? Who are the men that love you so goddamn much we’d kill anyone and anything that threatens you, including your own fucking nightmares, to make sure you never feel another sliver of pain again?”

And just like that, I’m back in the room at Aunt Charlie’s, with two of the men I love. One of whom is whispering in my ear even as he thrusts into my ass, brutally , over and over again.

His hand fists in my hair, yanking my head back. “Fucking answer me, Remington.”

Never in a million years would I have ever imagined myself being in this situation willingly. Yet here I am, my pussy so wet it’s dripping onto the sheets beneath me because while my brain keeps forgetting where we are, my body is all too aware that we’re safe.

“You, sir. You and Rogue,” I manage to choke out.

That coldness I’d been seeking is present even though my body is awash in fire. My mind is starting to compartmentalize in a way that’s new and fascinating. It catalogs each new sensation—not exactly erasing the nightmares from my past, but imprinting a new version beside them. I’m able to switch between two versions of the same pain, knowing that one is the reason I seek vengeance, while the other is the reason I’ve found love.

“That’s it, Remy. Remember who’s taking your ass, fucking it so hard the entire bed is shaking.” He slams into me a couple more times before he roughly pulls out and yanks me up by my arms. “But we’re not done yet. Tell me what else they did. The other ways they hurt you.”

My brain balks. Some of the worst of the nightmares have been hidden away in my mind in places I refuse to ever tread because the depravity inflicted on me was so unfathomable, it was the only way my brain could protect me.

I open my mouth, but nothing comes out.

They know about my virginity. The restraints. The forced anal. The beer bottle. What else is ther ? —

Oh... No. No, no, no.

I don’t even realize I’m shaking my head until Saint grabs each side of my face and forces me to meet his eyes.

“Tell me, Remington. What else did those bastards do to you?”

“T-they got impatient.” My throat grows dry, the words like glass as a long-forgotten, jagged piece of that night slips out from its hiding spot. “I was barely conscious and couldn’t hold myself up, but two of them were ready to go again.”

Every muscle in Saint’s body is rigid as he turns me around until I’m kneeling in front of him with my arms still restrained behind my back. Just like that night.

“And…?”

“Major lifted me up and placed me on top of him, facing the ceiling. By that point, I was numb, so when he reached around, lined himself up, and slid back into my ass, I didn’t even notice. Not until…”

Rogue is suddenly at my back, his large hand jostling my restraint with a light tug. “Until what, gorgeous?”

“Until his friend argued that it was his turn to take my ass. Things started to get heated until Major decided there was a simple solution.”

The tension in the room rises with each and every breath that stutters through my lips.

“Which was?” Saint growls.

“That they take it together. After that, they realized no one had to wait anymore since I had more than enough holes to occupy them all.”

Silence. My brain tries to shut down. My body, however, is wound up tight from the care my men have already shown me.

I don’t notice at first when Saint hops off the foot of the bed.

“Slide down, brother.”

His words confuse me until I see him glowering at me. It’s not his voice I heard. It was Major’s as he told his brother he could have my ass at the same time. Reality becomes hazy as Rogue lifts me up and slips down the bed all in one smooth motion. His long legs hang off until his ass is right at the edge. It should be uncomfortable when I’m laid out along Rogue’s massive body, my hands pinned between my back and his chest, but I don’t even notice.

Saint steps forward, right between Rogue’s legs, and lifts mine until they’re spread wide on either side of his brother’s. “You ready for your ass to be so full you can’t walk straight for the rest of the day?”

Rational thinking is long gone. My brain has gone to that place where it hides to protect itself from what it doesn’t want to remember. How much more is there, I wonder?

“You’re so fucking wet for us like a good little slut should be.” He leans forward to grab Rogue’s rigid dick, moving it out of the way so he can lick my pussy from back to front. “Tastes good too.” His eyes meet mine. “What’s your safeword, angel?”

Blinking, I absently say, “Vengeance.”

“Good. Use it if you need to, but remember the consequences.” He glances at Rogue, whose face is beside mine. “I’ll apologize in advance.”

“Wha—” Rogue’s question is cut off by a grunt.

When my eyes drop back down to Saint, he’s taking Rogue’s dick into his mouth… deep …for just a split second, bobbing up and down then pulling back.

“What the hell?” Rogue barks.

"What? I wasn't sucking your dick. I was just getting it wet and ready for her ass."

“Jesus fucking Christ,” Rogue rasps.

“I’m not into you, for the record.”

“Good to know.”

For the briefest second, the insane urge to giggle bubbles up inside me, but then Saint grabs Rogue’s dick and lines it up with my ass, pressing the tip into the tight ring of muscle. He’s so much thicker than Saint, and that spit job did nothing to ease his entry.

“Now fuck her,” Saint growls, eyes glued to where Rogue and I are joined.

“Shit. Okay,” Rogue mutters, but one arm wraps around my waist as the other slides up between my breasts until it’s gripping my throat.

Then he thrusts all the way in.

I scream, but my pussy spasms almost painfully, an orgasm rushing over me so fast and hard that my vision goes black for a brief second. Then I realize Saint’s thumb is rubbing over my sensitive clit. I try to move away, but I’m impaled on Rogue’s monster cock with my hands restrained. I can do nothing but take it.

“Another,” Saint demands as his brother pulls out and plunges back into my ass.

My head is shaking side to side as Rogue’s grip on my throat tightens ever so slightly. I explode, feeling the growl rumbling Rogue’s chest.

“C’mon, man. I can’t hold out much longer.”

“Fuck. Fine. But goddamn, it’s hot watching her ass stretch around your cock.” My body is still experiencing aftershocks when Saint closes the gap between us and swipes his dick up and down my pussy. “This is gonna hurt so fucking good.”

He lines himself up and spits on his dick, smearing it in where Rogue and I are already connected, then presses in.

“Oh shit. No. Stop. Don’t?—”

“None of those are your safeword, Remington,” Saint says, eyes locked on mine as he continues to press in alongside Rogue’s dick.

It’s too much. The fiery burn of the stretch causes a harsh sob to slip from my throat, but my eyes are still focused on Saint’s. Sweat has broken out along his brow, and the tendons in his neck are taut.

“I can see your pussy clenching down around nothing. Does it want to be filled too?”

“Please. No…” I cry out, just like I tried to ten years ago.

“No?” he asks, already pressing two fingers into my sopping cunt. “This doesn’t feel like no, Remington.”

He says my name the same way he called me slut. The degradation in his tone is impossible to ignore. Right now, I’m nothing more than a hole for them to get their dicks squeezed, but this time, it’s what I wanted. What I begged for.

Ten years ago, that wasn’t the case. They took what I wasn’t willing to give.

A low, keening whine escapes as Saint starts to pull out and press back in with shallow thrusts, his fingers slipping in and out of my pussy while his thumb presses against my clit. Incredible pressure is building, my voice giving way to a ragged cry as my eyes widen.

Rogue’s hand comes up to cover my mouth, taking away my voice the same way the men did ten years ago…

And I detonate.

“Holy fuck. That’s it, angel. Give it to us.”

I squirt so hard that it sprays all over Saint’s chest, but he still doesn’t ease up.

“Fuck. I’m coming,” Rogue roars.

“You’re so fucking hot. Take our cum like a good little slut.”

“What the fuck?” Ace’s voice sounds out above the din of sex and moans, but I can’t be bothered to see where he is.

My body is still locked up tight as both men go still deep inside my ass. Rogue’s hand slips from my mouth, his fingers brushing along my skin as his lips find my temple.

Saint gently pulls out, stumbling back a step or two like his legs just won’t hold him up. He spins, crashing to the bed beside us. “There aren’t sufficient words in the English language to describe what just happened here.”

“Agreed,” Rogue grunts out.

“Well, someone better find some because that shit looked like both of you were in her ass.” Trip’s voice comes from the side of the bed, and when my head tips toward him, he has an angry glare aimed at Saint.

“She needed it.” Saint draws my face back to his, his soft fingers brushing the hair off my cheeks. “I’ll take back every single nightmare they ever forced on you, Remy. It’ll be my life’s mission. I swear it.”

I kiss his fingers. “I know you will.”

“Fuck. We need to release your hands.”

“And she’s fucking restrained ?” Ace growls.

“Shhh, husband. Saint’s right. I asked for it.”

“Did it work?” Saint asks softly.

I search out the part of myself that is able to shut down and take care of shit. It comes easier than it had. The memories are now a driving force for what I need to do, but I can switch them off in order to be the woman my men need.

“Yeah, I think so. Thank you.”

“You never have to thank me, Remington.”

Squire appears between Rogue’s legs, gently gripping my shoulders to pull me up. What he fails to realize is that Rogue’s cock is still deep inside my ass, and I gasp.

“Shit! Sorry, Rem. Give me just a second.” He quickly leans me against his chest, untying the makeshift restraint and rubbing my arms to help get circulation back to them. With great care, he grips my chin and drops a searing kiss on my lips, forcing me to grip his hips to steady myself.

“Jesus. You’re all fucking masochists,” Rogue snaps.

Saint chuckles. “Maybe a little.”

“We gonna talk about the fact that Saint had Rogue’s dick in his mouth?” I murmur against Squire’s lips.

The room goes silent until Saint says, “Nothing to talk about.”

“There’s plenty to talk about,” Rogue grumbles.

“Later. You three need to get cleaned up. Squire just got an urgent message from Jay.”

My eyes whip toward Ace. “What is it?”

Ace’s dark gaze meets mine. “He found Etta.”