Page 36 of Spy With Me

“Not allowing anything. She’s not a prisoner.” Zach wasshaking his head. “I will set this up whenever she needs to talk.”

She needed to channel her mom. She looked his way. “Youshould go check on dinner.”

He stood. “Okay, but I want to know about Kala and Coop. Andhonestly, all of them.”

He strode away and her dad was suddenly absent, though shewas sure he would be somewhere listening in. Or not. Her dad was the best guyshe knew, and he would honor her wishes and definitely her mom’s.

“How are you really, baby girl?”

She needed to get past all these tears. “I’m physicallyokay. The place Zach took me to is actually pretty cool. I have a pregnant catneighbor, so I’ll have kittens soon.”

Her mom got that mom smile on her face, the one she had forthe soft and young and weak of the world. “Aww, that’s sweet. Are you and Zachgetting along?”

“I’m mad at him.”

“Of course you are, but that doesn’t mean it’s not a complexsituation with complicated feelings. Anger can cloud things, but I know it’sthere. I’m hoping you can take a deep breath and use this time to figure thingsout. Not only with Zach, but with your life.”

“I thought that’s what I was doing at home.” But even as shesaid the words she knew her mom was right.

“You’re drifting. You came home from college and wanted sometime off and I was happy to give that to you, but it’s been a couple of yearsand I know you’re working on commissions and trying to find internships but…”

She knew where her mom was going. “It’s not what I wanted. Iwanted my own line, but it’s hard. I guess I got caught up in life.”

“Working part time at McKay-Taggart or Top is not whatyou’re meant to do, baby.” Her mom sighed and put her elbows on the table wherethey’d eaten meals growing up. Her and Mom and Dad and TJ. Sometimes Bri orDaisy would join them.

Precious, precious time. She hadn’t realized it then, butevery moment had been precious.

Her friends were moving on with their lives and she wasstuck. Sometimes the best way to get unstuck was to completely change thecircumstances. For a little while at least. “I know and that’s one of thereasons I want to stay here, but there are others.”

“Zach?”

She nodded, not able to actually say the words. “And otherreasons. Mom, I did ditch Landon, and I knew it would get him in trouble. Ididn’t realize how much it would cost Aunt Eve.”

“She’s doing well.” Her mom got a bit teary. “Your Aunt Eveis tough, and you have to know that she would do it all again to save you. Thefirst words out of her mouth when she woke up was to ask about you and Kala.”

Not a surprise. “Please tell her how sorry I am.”

“She doesn’t need an apology, baby girl. She needs to knowthat you are okay, too.”

Devi nodded. “I’m as okay as I can be right now.”

“That’s all we can ask for. How is Zach?”

Devi wiped away her tears and felt herself go mulish. “I’mmad at him.”

“You did mention that and rightfully so, but how is he?”

“Aren’t you supposed to be on my side?” She’d expected hermom to be a Valkyrie warrior, bringing death and destruction on all who thoughtto harm her.

She hadn’t thought that maybe her mom didn’t think Zachwanted to harm her at all.

“Always. I can be on your side and still care about how Zachis,” her mom said in an altogether too reasonable voice. “Do you want me toturn this over to your dad? I assure you he’ll let you talk shit on Zach forhours. He’s been planning where to hide his body.”

Did she want that? Maybe if it was Bri and Daisy and theyhad margaritas. They would let her trash Zach, and still at some point Briwould push her to be honest about how she felt.

Angry. Angry. Enraged. Sad.

Longing. She felt longing when she looked at him. Ached whenhe cried because she’d been brutal with him and he couldn’t take it. Not fromher.