Page 28 of Spiritwarrior (The Colemans’ Legacy #2)

Chapter Twenty-Seven

J ody walked away from Sophie numbly. Instead of heading to Jacob’s trailer, he walked toward Silas’ house.

He didn’t go inside; he went to the rise providing a clear view of the sky. Sinking down to the grass, he turned off the flashlight to stare up at the sky. Pinpointing the star he was searching for, he read the surrounding stars.

“I didn’t see you here.” Silas sat down next to him.

“Where did you expect me to be?”

“With Sophie.”

“She wants to be friends and sent me on my way.”

Silas’ lips twitched in amusement. “I’m not used to you sounding so discouraged. She only met you a week ago.”

“She’s not attracted to me. I kissed her tonight, and she acted as if she would rather be doing her laundry.”

“Ow, and you looked so nice tonight.”

Jody turned his head to stare at his brother. “You can be a real dick when you want to be.”

Silas’ chuckle eased the hurt knot in his chest. “Jody, you were overconfident, and Sophie handed your ego back on a plate. I would have been disappointed in her if she had dropped to your feet and let you walk all over her like you have other women.”

“I do not walk on women.”

“Not literally, but you have become very spoiled. You’re used to having it easy. Sophie isn’t easy.”

“No, she isn’t. Sophie is nothing like I expected her to be.”

“Don’t lie to me, and stop lying to yourself.”

“How am I lying to myself?”

Silas sighed, looking toward the sky. “Jody, we all loved Dad and Leah.”

Grief welled inside of him.

“We all, in our own way, blame ourselves. Me for leaving to get the helmets, Ginny because it was her turn to ride the ATV, and you blame yourself for pestering Dad not to wait until I got back. Jody, you were just a kid, and kids pester their parents. It’s the parents’ job not to give in.”

“Dad was a big kid himself. I had more sense than him,” he said gruffly. “I’ll never forgive myself.”

“Ginny had to lay that blame to rest, and you have to, too. I’m not saying don’t grieve them, but you can’t keep self-sabotaging your life to pay them back for them losing theirs.”

“I’m not,” he protested.

“Aren’t you? You were aware of your soul mate, yet you live fast and loose with other women, knowing it was inevitable your soul mate would find out. You losing your soul mate won’t pay penance for Dad and Leah dying. Neither of them would want that for you. They both only want you happy.”

Jody clenched his jaw to hold back the tears burning his eyes. “When”—his voice cracked—“will I stop missing them?”

“I can’t give you an answer I don’t know myself. I miss them just as much. There hasn’t been a day that has gone by when I don’t see Leah’s face. I carried her on my hip when I had to get chores done, changed her diapers, tucked her in bed, taught her to read …” Silas broke off. “Dad warned me that his death was near … he didn’t warn me that he would be taking Leah with him. He knew how much it was going to hurt me … all of us.

“When I asked if there was a way to prevent his death, he told me he was ready to go. He had been without his soul mate too long, and she wasn’t in this life.

“In our birthdate charts, Leah was the only one who didn’t have a soul mate. I asked Dad about it, and he told me that she had just been born without one. I don’t know if he had suspicions she would die so young. What he did say was this wasn’t the only life we would have on earth. He said, when he died, he wasn’t passing away; he was moving on to another life, to not be sad for him, but be happy for him.”

“I don’t know what true happiness is anymore.”

“And you won’t until you’re willing to put the past behind you. Sophie is a smart woman. Could it be she senses you’re not ready to give your heart to any woman? Her father taught her from an early age that men are deceitful. Show her the real Jody, that you’re steadfast and loyal, and she won’t be able to stop herself from falling in love with you.”

Jody listened to Silas as he stared up at the sky. “If I show her the real me, she’ll run.”

Silas stood up. “Or she could surprise you. I think you’re underestimating how strong Sophie is.”

Jody heard Silas walk away, his mind going back to the day of the accident. He covered his face with his hands, trying to block out the image of Leah’s happy face as she climbed onto the back of the ATV behind their dad.

Getting up, he started walking. Was Silas right? Was he self-sabotaging because he felt he didn’t deserve to be happy? When he looked up, he found himself at the small family cemetery where Colemans had been buried for generations. Walking to the two graves that lay side by side, he stopped.

“I’m so sorry. I just wish I could talk to you.”

“You have nothing to be sorry for and you know why you can’t talk to them. Their souls moved on already.”

Startled, Jody turned to the side to see Fynn walking toward him.

“Silas said he saw you walking in this direction.” Fynn stopped next to him to stare down at the graves. “You weren’t responsible for their deaths. Dad knew when I was born that Mother would not allow both of us to remain on earth for long. We would be too powerful. She was protecting Earth.”

“How do you know?”

“I can see their past lives.” Fynn looked around the cemetery. “We all are Mother’s chessmen, to move or discard at her will. Anytime we get too strong or disobey her … we are removed from the game.”

“What reason did Mother have to remove Leah? She didn’t have any gifts.”

Fynn stared down at their sister’s grave. “She was powerful. Dad tried to shield her, but Mother knew the power Leah would grow into, so”—Fynn snapped his fingers—“she was removed.”

“Fynn, be careful …”

“Why? Am I not being respectful enough?” Fynn gave a stark laugh. “Don’t worry; she can’t punish me by taking my soul mate. She’s already accomplished that.”

“Darcy is still young. She hasn—”

“Darcy isn’t my soul mate.”

Jody stared him blankly … then it clicked with him. He had seen a huge behavior change in Fynn when … “She was the girl killed on the school bus.” Jody didn’t know how to comfort his younger brother. “I thought Darcy was.”

“No, she’s Logan’s.”

Jody frowned. “You’re trying to steal Logan’s soul mate?”

“No, but if she likes me, I won’t be pushing her away, either.”

“Fynn, you can’t destroy their lives. It will backfire. Bro, I’m paying for my mistakes. You can’t read your future; the stars have been changing … Don’t screw yourself over.”

Jody felt a chill feather down his spine at the expression on Fynn’s face.

Fynn must have seen his concern, because he went back to the brother he was more comfortable with, who had a loving heart.

“I won’t. The only reason I said anything was because I didn’t want you to continue beating yourself up. If you want to blame someone, blame Mother.”

Concerned, Jody watched as Fynn left the cemetery. Then, looking upward, he went to his knees. “Forgive him. If you want to punish him, punish me instead.”

Not expecting an answer, he rose from his knees only to find himself flung to the ground with such force the air was knocked out of his lungs. He had to lie there for several minutes before he could finally get his breath back. Managing to get to his knees, he looked back up at the sky.

“Gotcha. I’ll mind my own business from now on.”