FIVE YEARS OLD

M y first memory of feeling true happiness was when I was a young girl, no more than five years of age.

I was swinging on the old willow tree out back of the cottage in Siraleth, my blue and white hair swirling in the breeze behind me.

My mother never knew why I was born with such strange hair, only that I was…

different. A giggle bubbled to my lips as I pumped my legs, faster and faster and faster.

My father watched me from the back porch, his arm wrapped around my mother, a coffee mug in his hand. She looked up at him in adoration, her blue eyes squinting against the morning sun as she gazed upon him. He smiled, his eyes crinkling at the corners as he watched me.

It was just me and my parents.

Little did I know…that unbridled moment of happiness would be fleeting.

I think that was the last time I had truly laughed . Truly felt it break free from my chest on its own accord, escaping my lips without a second thought.

The moment was shattered when a Shade I had never seen before approached from inside the cottage, her old face drawn with wrinkles. Her greying hair was pulled into a tight knot at the base of her neck, her eyes a mystical purple I had never seen before.

Who was this woman?

I hopped down from the swing—jumping into the air—my gingham dress lifting around me as I dashed toward the cottage.

My father scooped me up into his arms, blowing raspberries against my cheek as he tossed me about, my hair whipping around us.

More laughter burst free as he tickled me, and despite my kicking against him, I didn’t want him to let me go.

I think that was the last time I had seen Zion truly happy, too. The years that would follow aged him considerably. He had never been dealt an easy hand in this life, especially with me as his daughter.

My mother, Annelise, and the Shade I didn’t recognize moved off into the living room. Their hushed whispers reached my ears from the doorway. The cottage was a small, humble home. The sound didn’t have a great distance to travel, despite their lowered voices.

“Who did you hear this from?” Annelise asked, sitting on the green velvet settee against the large picture window. Her brow was creased with worry.

The Shade leaned toward her, purple eyes darting toward me.

She knew I was listening, but that didn’t stop the words that spilled from her mouth.

“The Seer, Alastir. You know of his gift from the mother?” she asked.

Annelise nodded in confirmation. “I do.”

“Then you know that the news he brings is…imminent. This will come to fruition, sooner rather than later.”

Annelise shook her head, her gaze falling back on the Shade before her. “It can’t be. He might not be a forgiving king, a generous king, but we could do worse as a realm. He wouldn’t dare—”

The strange Shade leaned in conspiratorially. “That’s what I am worried about.”

Her gaze flicked toward me once more.

“You’re sure?” Annelise asked. “The king will be tainted with darkness?”

The Shade nodded solemnly.

They were speaking of King Osiris?

“That’s why I’ve come to you, Annelise. Osiris requires a healer of…great talent. You were the first to come to mind.”

Annelise shook her head. “I can’t possibly leave—” But her words were cut off when the Shade before her grasped her hand, pulling it into her lap and giving it a tight squeeze.

“I’m afraid it isn’t a request.” Her voice was barely above a whisper as her eyes drifted down to their clasped hands.

Annelise reeled back as if slapped.

I squirmed in my father’s arms, desperate to be put down now.

He gave me one final kiss on the forehead before finally placing me gently on the floor.

I quietly padded across the hardwood to the archway in the kitchen.

I was tucked right behind the opening where they couldn’t see me. Zion disappeared into the backyard.

“You mean…I am being summoned?” Annelise asked.

I dug my nails into the wood of the archway. I didn’t want my mother to leave. How long would she be gone? The castle in Akra was…far away. When would she be back? Would I get to visit her? See the castle with my own two eyes?

I bit down on my lip as I listened, chiding myself. Of course, I wouldn’t be able to go to the castle. I was merely a girl, and mother was being summoned to heal the king. She would be back in no time, I assured myself.

The Shade nodded. “Alastir has summoned you. You will come to The Stone Palace and you will heal the King Osiris.”

Annelise nodded, biting her lip in thought. “Then I can return home.”

The Shade’s gaze fell to their hands once more. A long moment of silence passed as she studied their hands together in her own lap.

Who was this woman?

When the Shade didn’t speak, Annelise leaned toward her, voice urgent. “Then I can return home, right? Cirilla?”

Cirilla . That was the Shade’s name.

She bit her lip—hesitant to answer—before finally speaking. “I’m afraid the king may require…many healing sessions. Over an… extended period.”

Annelise reeled back once more in surprise. “Is that what Alastir said?”

Cirilla nodded. “I’m afraid the king’s condition is foreseen to be…of a chronic nature.”

Annelise released a heavy sigh, her eyes downcast. Her face was drawn, her eyebrows pulled together in concern.

“You could always bring them…” Cirilla said, nodding toward the doorway where I hid. “Bring your family to Akra, move out of this cottage and leave Siraleth behind.”

Annelise shook her head fervently. “The castle is no place to raise a family, Cirilla. You, of all people, must know this. War, politics, violence…I don’t want her to be subjected to it day in and day out.”

“I understand,” Cirilla replied, her tone understanding.

“Donika is merely a girl. She needs her mother. Will I be granted leave to visit her?” she asked.

“I’m sure the king wouldn’t mind if she came to Akra to visit —” But Annelise cut off Cirilla’s words with her hand outstretched as if she were going to physically stop her.

“No—no. The Stone Palace is no place for a child. Period.”

Cirilla nodded firmly.

“When do I leave?” Annelise asked.

“This day, I’m afraid,” Cirilla replied.

Annelise released a frustrated huff. My fingers curled around the wood doorframe in anger now.

This woman, whoever she was, had come here to take my mother from me.

Despite my better judgment, I trod into the room, throwing myself into my mother’s arms. She scooped me up into her lap, flattening my dress down against my legs in an affectionate manner as she buried her face in my hair.

She rocked me back and forth gently, holding me in her arms.

She had to have known I was listening.

The Shade stood. “The horses are waiting outside. The king and his hand wish us to make haste. Another set of horses awaits us on the opposite side of The Shadow.”

Annelise nodded, hear eyes brimming with tears. She didn’t want to leave me, either. What about Father? What would we do without her?

I buried my face in her chest as she rubbed soothing circles into my back.

“You heard?” she asked, pulling away only enough to search my unwavering gaze. She placed a hand against my soft cheek. I nodded, tears brimming in my own eyes.

She pulled me against her, rocking me back and forth once more. “I will be back soon, my sweet girl. I promise.”

I nodded against her, the tears spilling over my cheeks and staining her tunic with wet droplets.

She rose, taking me with her toward the door.

She didn’t pack a bag, only stopped in the small bedroom off the entryway to grab the Kotova grimoire.

She walked through the doorway and placed me down on the front steps, securing the grimoire tightly into her jacket.

Zion was already there in front of the cottage.

His eyes were sad, but his countenance remained stoic. Annelise explained the situation to him, and he grasped Annelise into a fierce hug against his chest before placing a kiss against her forehead.

I watched quietly as Annelise walked down the front steps, mounting the chestnut horse that awaited her on the cobblestones. She mounted the mare, trotting off down the street after Cirilla.

She only looked back once, but that was all it took for me to break.

I grasped my father’s leg and cried as many tears as my body would allow as he patted my back comfortingly. I hadn’t known it at the time, but my parents hadn’t been lovers in quite some time. Since even before my birth, perhaps.

But they remained the best of friends.

Despite promising to visit me, despite my heart skipping out of my chest each time I heard hooves against the cobbled street outside, Annelise did not come back.

The king would not allow her to leave The Stone Palace for any length of time. Though she would write, it would be years before I would see her again.

When she finally did return, years later, she did not come home alone.

She was on foot, the night air carrying a chill that settled deep in my bones and set my teeth on edge.

I had rushed to the door and swung it open, my excitement at finally seeing her once again stifled when I saw what she had been carrying.

There was a bundle in her arms, wrapped tightly in a muslin cloth.

A child .

And as Zion joined me at the door in the middle of the night, the baby’s cries pierced the air, a storm roiling angrily overhead.