Chapter 31

THE SKY IS A BLOODY battlefield of red. It’s as though the day is fighting off the night, and their fury has left dusk covered in gashes of scarlet and ruby, rust and vermillion. The last of the day’s light stretches as far as it can reach, but night’s oppressive claim proves too powerful. It smothers twilight’s desperate glow, stealing the last of its hope until tomorrow when the battle begins once again.

My spot on the railless balcony attached to my room is the perfect place to watch the day die. I sit peacefully and observe the bloody struggle as the lights of Paragon City wink and flare their encouragement. The display feels fitting for what’s to come.

The com ring on my finger pings unexpectedly, and the sound jolts me from my macabre thoughts. I’d almost forgotten I’d put it on. The silver band is thin and has little flowers carved into it. A flat black oval sits at the top of the ring where the tech is housed. It’s fancy and dainty and does a bunch of stuff I can’t be bothered to figure out, but I expect nothing less from Lorn. Only the best of the best for the princes’ pet.

The ring arrived at the same time as the mirror, but I’ve been so wrapped up in figuring out the Syphon Glass that I became distracted.

I sit up and brush my hair out of my face, schooling my features so I look bored and too rich to care about anything. I need to be very careful how I go about this and be sure not to do anything that might tip off whoever I’m certain will be monitoring this call.

I answer the incoming feed, and Nixy’s face pops up, floating above the flat black oval on the top of the ring.

“I apologize, dragoness, for the wait. I just saw the message requisition that I contact you,” Nixy offers politely, but her blue-hazel gaze is sharp as it takes me in.

Good, she knows something is up. The fact that I have access to a com device now is probably a big giveaway.

“Is now a good time to discuss your dress for your Naming and go over the plan for tomorrow?” she asks, her tone even with just enough push in it to let me know that she understands we’re not alone on this call.

“Yes, I can speak to you now. How’s everything coming?” I inquire smoothly, working through my plan of how to tell Nixy exactly what I want and need without outright telling her what I want and need.

“I’m excited for how the look is coming together,” Nixy tells me, sounding genuinely enthusiastic. “I struggled at first with a direction, but then it came to me.” Her smile shifts from polite to cheeky. “I went with the caterpillar to butterfly theme you mentioned at our last fitting. I’ve still got some work to do, but if you’d like to see it, I’d be more than happy to show you.”

I wave her off. “No. I’d rather see it when it’s all finished and I’m trapped in it with no way to escape. But if there’s a way you can make the dress shoot lasers at anyone who gets too close or dares to ask me to dance, I promise it will quickly become my favorite dress ever ,” I tell her half-joking and half-hopeful.

Nixy laughs. “Getting some First Dance jitters?”

“If complete and utter revulsion at the idea of dancing or having to socialize with Horde nobility counts as jitters, then yes, I’m all jitters over here.”

“Has anyone gone over what you should expect?” Nixy asks, her smile amused but the look in her pretty eyes trimmed with concern.

“Yes and no. I know it’s all very fancy and formal. I thought a Naming Day would be more like a birthday. But it’s not a celebration at all. It’s a weird pageant where all I do is prance around like some show pony on display. It’s nothing more than an ancient rite of passage steeped in a bunch of boring history with traditions that no longer seem relevant. But apparently, I get gifts, so there’s that.”

“Sounds…fun,” Nixy teases, and I roll my eyes.

“Anyway, while I have you on the line, I was wondering about the loungewear I requested when I saw you last,” I tell her, knowing full well we’ve never talked about anything of the sort. “I’m having trouble sleeping, and I was curious if you found that fabric I mentioned. I’m hoping if I try to sleep in something familiar, I might feel more comfortable and it’ll help.”

Nixy pauses for a second, and I hold my breath, hoping she picks up on my rudimentary hints.

“Yes, I did find it,” she answers after a beat. “But I couldn’t find the gray color you wanted; I was only able to track down black, green, and orange.”

Relief floods me as she matches my rudimentary code with one of her own. Black is the color of The Scorch. Orange and green are Enslee’s and my most noticeable features: orange for our hair, green for our eyes. It’s not an unbreakable code, but it’ll do in a pinch like this.

“That’s fine, they’re just for sleeping in. Black, green, and orange are perfect,” I repeat, instantly feeling lighter. I’d hoped that the mention of sleep trouble and wanting help to find something familiar were the right clues to get Nixy on the same page as me, but when it comes to improvising this kind of clandestine shit, you never know which way it will go.

“I can get started on those right away. Would you like me to send them up to you tonight, or would tomorrow work better?”

“Tomorrow is fine,” I assure her, letting her know my request for help isn’t urgent and that she has time to set things up.

Nixy nods with understanding.

“I can pick everything up when I come to get my dress,” I add, hoping she can set up whatever tech she used before that allowed us to talk without my guards realizing.

“Actually, dragoness, it’s been requested that you be fitted in the keep tomorrow before the assembly,” she tells me evenly, but I see the edge of strain in her gaze.

“Oh. But you can’t come to the keep,” I point out, confused as I try to think why they’d suddenly not want me to leave.

Maybe it’s because of what happened last time with the guy and the camera, or maybe it was because of the Tainted. We never did discover any definitive proof, other than that brief whiff of rot we all smelled, that they were even there.

“Not to worry, dragoness. I’ll be there via com for the fitting, and Azo will be the one to get you ready. We’ll have plenty of time to sort out your loungewear and to make sure your dress for the evening is perfect.”

I blow out a tense breath and nod. I would have preferred seeing Nixy in person, especially since the content of the message I need to send to my sister is sensitive. But I can make do with Azo. In the end, it doesn’t matter how my warning gets to Enslee, only that it does.

“Don’t worry at all, dragoness, we’ll make sure you have everything you need for tomorrow. Trust me and Azo to ensure it all goes off without a hitch,” she tells me pointedly.

Nixy waits for me to say something, to agree or get off the call. I should, but suddenly I don’t want to. Maybe today has taken a bigger toll on me than I realized despite my incredible discovery in the vaults and the progress I made with Lorn. What happened with Aeson after has thrown me, to say the least. Add to that, the last few hours I’ve spent remembering how to use the Vitric Port—and shaking off the subsequent flashbacks—and I find that I’m feeling overwhelmingly sad and…lonely.

It’s foolish. I’m closer to answers than we’ve ever been. I’m out of the cage Wistan and the Tainted kept me in, I’m healing, I’m safe—for now—and yet it all feels like a juggling act that’s destined to go wrong any second.

I stare into Nixy’s eyes, and all I can think about is how much I miss Ren and wish she were here.

“Can I help you with anything else, dragoness?” Nixy asks cautiously.

“No, I apologize. I’m just tired. I should probably go to bed early. Tomorrow’s going to be a long day,” I tell her dismissively.

Her features fill with gentle understanding, and for a second, I pretend it’s Ren looking back at me through the com screen and not her little sister.

“Hang in there, dragoness. You know dawn is coming even when the night is at its darkest. It will all be over before you know it.”

I nod and give her a half smile. “True. Maybe I’ve been staring at the dark for too long and it’s time to look for the light.”

My words tug me back to my earlier thoughts about love and light and what happens when we lose them. Aeson’s face pops into my mind, but I quickly brush it aside.

“Spark the flames you need to see by, dragoness,” Nixy says evenly.

My answering smile is grateful, and Nixy mirrors it.

“In the meantime, I’ll look into what I can do about those lasers you’ve requested,” she teases with a wink, and I laugh. “Get some rest. I’ll speak to you tomorrow.”

I disconnect the call without saying goodbye, and my stare once again returns to the sky. I should feel better. Nixy’s going to get a message to Enslee. Everything went smoothly, and I doubt anything we said will trigger the suspicion of anyone who’s listening in. But all at once, I’m fighting the urge to pull up the number pad on my com and call Enslee right now.

I know I can’t. I know I’m just being a big baby and feeling sorry for myself. But I’ve spent too much time in the past today. I can’t stop seeing a six-year-old Enslee, terrified, tears dripping steadily down her face as we crept out of our father’s spelled armoire and looked for a way out of his tower.

A distant roar pulls me from my haunted thoughts. I watch as a small group of dragons dance and dive over the tallest peaks of Talon’s Reach. I run my hand down my face as exhaustion presses in on me. I want to talk to my sister. I need to see for myself that she’s okay. But the closest I can get right now is stepping back in front of the Syphon Glass now hanging in my room, and pretending I’m looking at Enslee and not myself when I stare into it.

I suppose the good news is that I now remember how to use a Vitric Port and what they can do. The bad news is that I don’t see my nightmares getting better anytime soon. Not after all the doors and windows I threw open on my trauma today.

I push up from the ground, careful to stick close to the wall as I go. Warmth blankets me when I step through the transparent barrier that fills the massive arched opening. The tall fireplace in my room is blazing, and I don’t know if Ogdan lit it the last time he was here checking on me or if it’s programmed to turn on when the room drops to a cooler temperature. Either way, I leave it on, enjoying the heat.

I stride toward the large sitting area in the room and grab the controls for the vid screen, turning it on. A loud commercial blares to life, and I cringe at the cacophony of noise that instantly chases away the silence I’ve been sitting in all evening. I don’t bother turning it down. It’s the perfect level of loud.

I’ve been keeping my TV on every night since I got here to help mask my movement, mute my nightmare-induced screams, and to help condition Aeson’s Wing to ignore the white noise always coming from my room at night. I wanted the noise to help cover me in case I needed to sneak out, but now it will be the perfect cloak for what I need to do with the Syphon Glass.

The commercial on the vid screen ends, and a news story about the upcoming Blood Rite fills the room. I tune it out, rubbing my eyes until they’re nice and red while I stride to the main door of the room. Opening it a crack, I look out and surprisingly find Ogdan standing guard. I was expecting Blay, but maybe he took a break. Ogdan’s gray eyes turn to meet mine, and I notice his hair is braided in the same style it was the first time we met.

I pause. He was wearing his burgundy hair down earlier when we spoke. I’ve gotten the distinct impression that he only braids it when the Wing is being deployed somewhere. But unless they’re going on a last-minute trip, this is for my Naming tomorrow. He must be expecting more trouble than he’s told me. I know I am.

“You going to bed early?” Ogdan asks, the question pulling me from my disquieted musings.

“Yeah. Night,” I tell him, and he gives me an annoying little salute.

“Gatlin will be on guard tonight if you need anything,” he tells me as I step back and start to close the door.

Hmmm, Gatlin, not Blay. I guess Blay’s off for the night.

A thought occurs to me, and I lean back out of the doorway.

“Tell Gatlin…” I pause hesitantly. “Tell him, I might have a few more nightmares tonight than usual. It’s been a long day and I’m dealing…” I blow out a tired breath. “The Crush was hard. Just tell him to ignore…” I gesture behind me at the room, and Ogdan gives me a solemn nod.

“I’ll tell him, lass,” he assures me softly, the pretty lilt in his voice adding a depth to the declaration that almost makes me want to cry for real.

I give him one more nod and then shut the door without another word. Guilt pools in my gut, but I stomp through it, ignoring the way it splashes around and makes a mess of my insides. I don’t know what’s wrong with me. The Syphon Glass is exactly what I need to help me move forward with my plans here in Four Tiers, but for some reason, I’m struggling.

I need to get my shit together and move past everything that happened today. I doubt the Wing or any of the Noctises are feeling shitty about the ways they’re manipulating me. And they are manipulating me. I’m sure of it. But when I try to do the same, there’s this bitter taste in my mouth that I can’t seem to get rid of, and the tang of it tastes awfully close to regret.

But as genuine as Lorn might have been in his guilt and wanting to make things right, it doesn’t mean I can trust him. And as good as Aeson felt, it doesn’t mean he’s not playing me. I can trust myself and I can trust Enslee. I used to think there were more people on that list, but what happened with the Tainted has rocked that foundation. Either way, I’m here in Four Tiers for a reason, and it’s not to make nice with the Noctises and their Wings.

It’s time to get some answers.

It’s time to find what I came here for…or rather who I came here for.