Page 15

15

ALISSA

I hate working Saturdays. This one is particularly painful because it’s an unseasonally beautiful day in the city of Chicago. The sun is out, gleaming over the iced-over Lake Michigan. It’s rare for the Midwest to experience a sunny day this time of year. Usually it’s clouded over from October to March. But the sun has burned through the clouds today, and I’m of course stuck in the hospital.

I keep telling myself that I love what I do. I’m making a difference in people’s lives.

But all I’ve been able to think about the entire day is that kiss with Maddox. How beastlike he became in that moment. And I’m seeing him again tonight.

Who knows what side of his personality will pop out on the second date?

I have an outfit chosen specially for the occasion, with an added twist I think he’ll like. Will we make it past my apartment door tonight?

I like that Maddox didn’t wait to text me. I hate the waiting game. It’s all rubbish. None of us are getting any younger, and I’ve always believed in striking while the iron is hot.

And God, is my iron hot.

If I don’t get ahold of myself, I’ll have to walk outside and plunge myself into a snowbank.

Get a grip, Liss.

I’m attending to two of my favorites today. Carol and Lou, two elderly patients who are sharing a room. They both have good enough insurance to have private rooms, but they checked in when we were nearing capacity from a flu that was spreading like wildfire, and we placed them together temporarily. When space cleared up, we offered to move one of them out, but they had hit it off at that point and apparently enjoy each other’s company.

They’re both waiting for transplants. Lou needs a heart, and Carol needs lungs. They’re both widowed and had never met before they were sharing a room, but they’re adorable together and have fallen for each other. Lou likes to say that he needs a transplant because Carol stole his heart, and Carol says Lou has taken her breath away.

Okay, maybe it’s a touch morbid, but it’s mostly cute.

I walk in. They’re watching TV together—a rerun of The Golden Girls , of course—and Lou is yapping on about seeing Bea Arthur in Mame years ago.

Carol’s silver hair is pulled back into a bun, and she put on a little blush and eye makeup today.

Lou was clearly handsome in his younger days. He has a strong jaw, a good head of white hair, and thick—but not bushy—eyebrows. He smiles when I walk in.

“Miss Alissa! Wonderful to see you,” he says.

“It’s great to see you two as well.” I take a look at Lou’s chart. “How are you feeling today? Any pain, on a level of one to ten?”

Lou shrugs. “I mean, when you get to be as old as we are, you’re never without a little bit of aches and pains. But nothing too bad.”

I nod, marking a box on Lou’s chart. I turn to Carol. “Same for you, Carol?”

She nods.

Because of her trouble breathing, Carol doesn’t speak much. Doesn’t seem to be an issue. Lou talks enough for the both of them.

“Any word on that heart?” Lou asks. “Carol and I just learned that we’re the same blood type. Wouldn’t it be charming if the same donor covered for both of us?”

I smile. “Charming if not a bit macabre, Lou.” I frown. “Unfortunately, nothing yet. But you never know.”

“I never loved the idea of a young person having to die for me to live,” Lou says. “But I’ll hold out a bit longer.” He sits up and leans toward me. “Carol and I have a pact. We’re going to give it another month. If no hearts or lungs have arrived by the beginning of March, we’re going to refuse further treatment and enter hospice together.”

Carol nods. “It’s true.”

I gasp. “You can’t do that! Organs take time. Some people wait months, even years, for the right match.”

Lou holds up a hand. “We’ve lived long lives and we’ve thought a lot about the decision.”

My lips quiver, but I hold back any tears for Lou and Carol’s sake. “I’ll inform Dr. O’Rourke of your decision. You can always change your mind.”

I turn toward the door. I’m usually pretty good about separating my feelings from my patients—after all, this is a hospital, and people dying is a common occurrence—but Carol and Lou are special. I was really hoping they’d make it.

They still could.

A miracle could happen.

They’ve been waiting so long.

After I find Dr. O’Rourke, I’ll go into the employee bathroom and have a good cry.

At least I’m no longer turned on.

I go to the nurses station. Dinah is there, typing something on the computer.

Her eyes widen when she sees me. “Alissa! Have you been ignoring your phone? I’ve been texting you all morning.”

I blink. I haven’t looked at my phone since last night. Maddox has been on my mind. I had to fish it out of my purse this morning on my way out the door.

In fact—shit. I didn’t charge it last night. I meant to plug it in once I got to the hospital, but I tossed it in my locker like I always do. It’s probably dead, or about to die.

Oh, God. Like Carol and Lou.

I swallow the emotions down.

“Sorry. I’ve been preoccupied.”

Dinah narrows her eyes. “Did you have a good date last night?”

The clouds covering my brain part a bit, allowing a little sunlight to come through. I smile at Dinah. “Yeah, actually. He’s a great guy. I’m seeing him again tonight.”

Dinah drops her jaw. “A second date less than twenty-four hours later? Damn, Alissa, he must have it bad .”

I chuckle lightly. “Yeah. I might have it bad too.”

Dinah raises her eyebrows. “Did you…?”

I shake my head. “No. But we snogged pretty fiercely outside my apartment door. It was…” I lean down closer to Dinah’s ear, lowering my voice. “It was bloody amazing. Like, I’ve never been kissed by a man like that. I could hardly sleep, I was so turned on.”

Dinah grins. “Love that for you.” She turns her gaze to the computer. “If one of us gets to escape the perilous land of Chicago singlehood, I’m glad it could be you.”

I roll my eyes. “Dinah, you’re gorgeous. When a man comes along who deserves you, you’ll know it. And who knows. It was a great first date, but I’ve had a lot of great first dates. Men don’t usually start showing their true colors until later in the process. Maddox could be a creep, for all I know.”

But deep in my heart, I know he’s not. Maddox is different from any man I’ve ever met. If his appearance and dedication to men’s fashion didn’t already confirm it, that searing kiss last night certainly did.

I return my gaze to my clipboard. “Anyway, I’m looking for Dr. O’Rourke. I need to talk to him about a few patients of mine. Have you seen him?”

Dinah looks up, her face flushing. “Looks like he just walked in.”

Whenever Dr. O’Rourke enters a room, every female in the area—and some of the males—take notice. He’s got a granite jaw framed by a tightly trimmed beard, dark piercing eyes, and a broad body that could melt any woman into a puddle. Even from under his white doctor’s coat, you can see the muscles of his pecs and biceps straining to break free from the tight V-neck he wears underneath.

Of course, he’s nothing compared to Maddox, even though the two of them share a lot of physical qualities.

“Dr. O’Rourke.” I walk up to him, clutching my clipboard. “I need to talk to you about a few of my patients.”

“Alissa.” Dr. O’Rourke smiles at me. “Did you have a pleasant evening?”

I swallow. Far more than pleasant, but Dr. O’Rourke doesn’t need to hear that.

But Dinah can always be counted on to speak for me.

“Alissa had a great evening. She had a date with a tall, dark stranger.”

Dr. O’Rourke raises an eyebrow. “Did you?”

I glare at Dinah. “Yes. We went to this bizarre club, not too far from here, actually.”

Dr. O’Rourke narrows his eyes. “How bizarre?”

I bite my lip. “Pretty bizarre. It was underground, a speakeasy. Themed after playing cards. Spades, diamonds, clubs, you get the idea.”

“Aces Underground?”

I widen my eyes. “Yes. How did you know?”

“My best friend takes me there every so often as a wingman,” Dr. O’Rourke says. “It’s not a place you easily forget. Do they still have those two in the matching sweaters heading up the bar?”

“DeeDee and Dudley. Yes! And the waitstaff’s uniforms…”

He nods. “I’m aware. Definitely a unique spot, for sure.”

“That’s what I told Maddox?—”

Dr. O’Rourke widens his eyes. “Maddox? You went with Maddox? Maddox Hathaway?”

I furrow my brow. “Don’t tell me you know him.”

“He’s my friend. The one who takes me there.”

Dinah drops her jaw. “As his wingman .”

Dr. O’Rourke presses his lips together. He’s stepped in it now, revealed his best friend as a player.

But it’s okay. Maddox told me about him last night. So he’s dated other people casually before. Who hasn’t?

Dr. O’Rourke runs his fingers through his dark hair, mussing it a bit. “He’s a great guy, Alissa. I swear.”

I hold up a hand, chuckling. “It’s okay. He told me about you, Dr. O’Rourke. Didn’t mention your name, though, so I didn’t make the connection.”

“Maddox and I grew up together.” Dr. O’Rourke smiles. “Went our separate ways when I went to college and then med school, but once I returned to Chicago for my residency, we picked up right where we left off.” He looks at me, his eyes narrowed. “I don’t think Maddox has ever taken a woman to Aces before, though. How did you meet?”

I laugh. “On a whim, honestly. I took a different route home from work two nights ago and happened upon his shop. We got to talking, and we hit it off.”

Dr. O’Rourke scratches the side of his head. “He’s pretty secretive about his membership there. He inherited it from his father, you know, and as I’m sure you’re aware, they didn’t exactly have the best relationship when he died. If he took you there, on a first date no less, he must think you’re pretty special.”

My cheeks warm.

“Awwww!” Dinah groans, her hand over her heart. “I’m maid of honor for your wedding, right?”

“Well, I have no sisters, and you’re my only female friend in the city, so I guess so.” I chuckle. “But we’re getting ahead of ourselves. We’ve had one date. It’s not quite time to pick out china patterns.”

Dr. O’Rourke makes some notes on his iPad. “You wanted to talk to me about a patient.”

“Right.” I close my eyes, take in a deep breath. “Lou Chambers and Carol Lutwidge.”

He smiles. “The lovebirds. How are they?”

I sigh. “Not great. They say they want to discontinue treatment and enter hospice if they can’t get their respective transplants within the next month.”

Dr. O’Rourke’s eyes soften. “I see.”

Dinah gasps. “But they’ve got to hold on. We get organs all the time. Odds are one of them will be a match.”

“They may change their minds,” Dr. O’Rourke says. “But I’ll have the forms sent up from legal, just in case.”

“Doctor,” I say, “shouldn’t we try to talk them out of it? A month is such a short time span. What if one day later we receive the organs they need?”

Dr. O’Rourke frowns. “Then they will go to the next person on the list. You know how informed consent works, Alissa. We can’t force people to take treatment they don’t want. This is a hospital, not a prison. People are allowed to leave whenever they want.”

“But—”

He holds up a hand. “I know you like them, Alissa. We all do. But part of respecting a patient includes respecting the decisions they make. Thank you for bringing this to my attention. I’ll go and see them right away.” He pats me on the shoulder. “And you never know. A miracle could happen.”

I sigh. Carol and Lou have been waiting for a miracle for several months at this point.

At least they have each other. Their families live outside of Illinois.

There’s something romantic about the idea of them facing death together, holding hands almost in defiance of it.

And I can’t help but wonder… Is Maddox the man I’ll grow old with?

Will he watch me as time takes my youth, carves wrinkles in my face, steals the color out of my hair? And will he say that he can’t see any difference, that the woman he loves looks the same as the day she walked into his shop on a whim?

Oh my God…

We’ve been on one date. What is wrong with me?

Crazy that Dr. O’Rourke is friends with Maddox, though.

Chicago is a big city. It’s quite a coincidence.

Dr. O’Rourke told me I’m the first woman Maddox has taken to the club.

That he keeps his cards—pardon the pun—close to his chest, because he inherited the membership from his father.

Wait.

How did Dr. O’Rourke put it?

He inherited it from his father, you know, and as I’m sure you’re aware, they didn’t exactly have the best relationship when he died.

As I’m sure you’re aware, he said.

People don’t typically talk about their strained relationships with their parents on the first date. I certainly would never bring up my mother. You talk about music, your interests.

So why would Dr. O’Rourke put it like that? As I’m sure you’re aware?

Why would I know?

And more importantly…

What should I know?