Page 20 of Space Daddy’s Guide to the Galaxy (Villains in Space #2)

20

MICAH

While I knew Ziggy wanted to leave the star hop cockblock cave as quickly as possible— and understandably so—there was one thing I needed to do first.

Take a selfie with the Dionaea muscipula, duh.

This was mostly because I wanted to send a photo to a certain Mafia Queen back on Earth, so I could show the tiny tyrant his miniature “carnivorous child” ain’t shit.

How you like them apples, croissant-muncher?

Once Zig, Pedro, and I were back on the Lodger and en route to the ice-planet EX-36740–locally known as Ekistron—I realized there was something else on the space mercenary to-do list.

The family video call.

While we occasionally did check-ins like this with Zion and Balty—and only rarely with Simon, which was just fine with him and Ziggy—I insisted on regular face time with Theo and the twins. It wasn’t just because I wanted to see Gabe. I legitimately felt it was important, especially for Zig, to maintain a strong connection with those who shared our resonance.

Our Stellarian family.

Or… alien polycule, whatever.

Ziggy had insisted on changing back into his Earthling outfit for the call— much to my disappointment— but he reminded me he’d be in Borque-mode again once we landed on Ekistron. I didn’t push, since I understood he wanted to be wearing the skinsuit he felt most comfortable in for a situation he was still getting used to.

Plus, my man probably didn’t want to hear the Wookie jokes.

Since this crew is merciless.

However, there was a different celebrity appearance I wanted to surprise the others with on today’s call.

“Holy shit, is that a space cat?!”

Gabe was sitting front and center when the feed kicked on, his ridiculously attractive face framed by the long, luxurious hair he’d no doubt left down just for me. However, the sweet supervillain only had eyes for the furry creature friend perched in my lap.

“Not quite,” I laughed, already feeling the piece of Ziggy inside me positively reacting to the visual. “Although I did name them Pedro Pspspscal.”

A snort brought my attention to the twin in the background, his black shit-kicker boots propped up and slightly blocking the view of his equally attractive face.

Not that I’d ever tell him that.

“Hey, Dre, how’s it hanging?” I cheerfully called out, just to get an amused smirk out of his grumpy ass.

“A little to the right,” he replied, which was as close to a greeting as I would get. “So where did the new pet come from? Don’t tell me you went all ‘white woman adopts a cougar kitten’ or something…”

How dare!

But accurate.

“That’s classified,” Ziggy cut in, attempting to shut down questions in the most ineffective way possible. “Where’s Theo?”

Dre dropped his feet to the floor and slung an arm behind his twin, cocking his head as he stared Ziggy down. “That’s classified.”

“I’m here, I’m here!” Theo sang out before coming into view. More specifically, his neon blue crotch came into view.

MY EYES!

The eccentric artist flopped onto the couch on Gabe’s other side, wearing nothing but his signature bold-print kimono and tiny, bikini-cut bathing suit while holding a plate full of what looked like barbecue ribs.

“T had a big interview this morning for his latest installation, so he didn’t eat lunch,” Gabe explained with an apologetic shrug, reminding me the time difference between us was something we could never quite figure out.

Fuck, I miss them.

Well… most of them.

“And being Stellarian, Theo also didn’t need to eat right this minute,” Dre added with a glare at his chaotic brat. “He also didn’t need to choose something so messy to eat on the extremely expensive couch.”

Thoughts and prayers, Dom Daddy Dre.

“Calm down, Demon,” Theo unwisely dismissed his handler with a wave of his hand. “We already know blood and cum wash out of the fabric soooo…” He leaned closer to the screen and peered at Pedro. “What in Stellaria’s name is that?”

“It’s a Trol,” Ziggy replied, suddenly totally cool with spilling this ‘classified information.’

“A troll?” Dre repeated with a scoff. “Welp. It will fit right in with this family.”

“They, not it,” Ziggy corrected while keeping his gaze locked on his maker. “Have you ever heard of a Trol, Theo?”

Theo noisily licked BBQ sauce off his fingers. “Can’t say I have. Ugly little thing, aren’t they?”

I gasped and covered Pedro’s ears as Gabe whirled on his stellar collision. “Are you blind, old man? They are the cutest goddamn thing I’ve ever seen!” He then turned back around to smile shyly at me, blushing as he added, “Well, almost the cutest.”

Gah!

Ziggy snorted as Dre rolled his eyes, but I could feel the happy resonance buzzing from all sides.

I see you fools.

“Ruh-roh, angel,” Theo mumbled through a mouthful of meat. “Looks like it might be time for another conjugal visit.”

Ohmyfuckinggaaaawd!

My face went up in flames, but I couldn’t even use my hands to hide behind, since I needed them to hold onto Pedro.

Luckily, Ziggy came to my rescue to get us back on track. “Visits won’t be safe until this mission is complete.”

I knew he was trying to redirect, but all he was doing was piquing everyone’s interest.

Does he not understand this is the Stellarian Tea Party?

“Is… Pedro dangerous?” Gabe chewed on his bottom lip, his pretty blue eyes flitting between my face and the creature in my lap.

“No, they’re just a baby,” I soothed before lifting one of Pedro’s paws and waving it at the camera. “Although check out these claws.”

Even Dre leaned forward as Gabe murmured appreciatively under his breath. And when Pedro chose that moment to yawn extra wide, both twins grinned like kids on Christmas over the two rows of sharp little teefs.

“Looks like it’s nap time,” I explained, awkwardly punching in some numbers on my phone while trying not to drop the star of the show. “Lemme just get the nanny bot in here…”

Gabe’s eyes lit up as the enormous robot clanked into the kitchen. I’d been slightly concerned at first that Zig grabbed one so big, but it turned out, this one was also programmed to protect its charges, not just change diapers and such.

Or, in our case, empty the litter box.

“SWOL-E in the house.” Dre whistled as the nanny bot took Pedro from me, gentle despite its bulk. “Dude looks like they could take down a Transformer.”

I wonder if Transformers are real…

“Wait, so did you make that?” Gabe asked, his assessing gaze running over the gleaming gold surface like the industrial designer he was. “You never texted back when I asked.”

Oh, shit.

“Yeah, sorry about that.” I rubbed the back of my neck and grimaced. “A creepy snake-headed alien snuck up on me and started asking questions about Pedro and nanny bots, so I got distracted. And no, I didn’t make it?—”

“You were texting on your phone when I left you in the Muonova?” Ziggy hissed. “What if the Hydrassian had attacked first?”

“Hydrassians don’t randomly attack,” Theo scoffed. “Although why one was loitering at a Muonova in the nanny bot section?—”

“They do when they’re being paid as mercenaries!” Ziggy barked, causing everyone to freeze and the nanny bot—SWOL-E, because that was its official name now—to swivel Pedro away from my stellar collision.

Pshhh… As if Ziggy would ever hurt our furbaby.

Theo set aside his plate, calmly wiping his hands and clasping them in his lap before facing the camera, as serious as I’d ever seen him.

“Why are a bunch of fortune tellers behaving like mercenaries, Ziggy?” His normally breezy voice had turned cold and calculating. “Does it have anything to do with that adorable space cat of yours?”

Judging by how the twins were gaping at their stellar collision, it wasn’t often they saw their chaos gremlin in bad bitch mode. I was also a little weirded out, but then I reminded myself Theo was a Stellarian and had once worn his own Space Daddy armor to fight with a Star Unit for Astrum Force.

Before slaughtering his entire squadron and escaping to Earth…

So the mood changes track.

Only Ziggy seemed unbothered by Business Theo joining the chat. “Younger Hydrassians are accepting payment from various species to use their talents to track down karnilian.” When his maker’s eyebrow raised, Zig added, “Have you ever heard of that?”

“Of course I have,” Theo replied in that same eerily emotionless tone. “Karnilian conquers planets. At least, it has the potential to… in the right hands.”

Or the wrong ones…

“You didn’t answer my question, Ziggy,” Theo continued, switching to Stellarian. “Does the Trol have something to do with the most sought after gem in the galaxies?”

Gulp.

Theo knew I had a translation device, and the twins appeared to be following, so I assumed he was attempting to encrypt our conversation from potential eavesdroppers.

This is getting serious.

Ziggy nodded once, almost imperceptibly. “The karnilian is inside the Trol. I’ve…” He cleared his throat and blew out a slow breath. “I’ve seen it… felt what it can do…”

Oh, is that what freaked him out so badly?

So much had happened since that fateful bath time, Dr. Micah hadn’t been able to drag Ziggy out of his shell for a session. I had noticed my man being extra protective of Pedro, but I had hoped it was more about them forming a bond.

Please don’t tell me it’s just about the gemstone…

Theo watched Ziggy closely as the nanny bot left the room with a sleepy Pedro in its arms. “And the Hydrassians can feel it as well, can’t they? They could be tracking you down this very minute.”

Gabe gasped dramatically, and even Dre looked marginally concerned, so I wildly gestured at the air around us, confident Ziggy could translate my interpretive dance.

He didn’t disappoint. “Micah has surrounded the entire ship with a karnilian-blocking shield, and when we took Pedro to the Hydrassian elders on Dionaea, he created one for the creature ? —”

“You visited those creepy psychics?” Theo scoffed before smirking and gesturing at his stellar collisions. “I wonder if that’s where these two creepy psychics got their powers…”

“You know damn well who we got our powers from,” Dre sighed in English before addressing Ziggy. “Can Hydrassians read minds, though?”

Ziggy smirked. “They certainly tried.” His grin faded. “The elder did manage to somehow trap my tendrils inside me…”

Theo growled and glared at his psychic Dom. “Well, that sounds familiar, hmm?”

Dre chuckled and winked at me. “Brats were bratting.”

“It was a horrible feeling,” Ziggy snapped. “It would be like you two being unable to get into anyone’s head—including each other’s.”

Oh, snap.

That landed, as both twins looked horrified at the thought. Satisfied his point was made, Ziggy switched back to Stellarian.

“They also possessed technology to stop me from star hopping, similar to Micah’s shields, but not as advanced.” He paused to smile proudly at me. “We are on our way to meet the matter manipulators who created the Hydrassian’s shields—to see what we can learn from them.”

“Cool,” Gabe whispered, wide-eyed, before sobering. “Will you be safe, though?”

Oh, angel.

Theo had a soft spot for his subby baby, as he immediately stepped in to soothe. “I assume they are headed for Ekistron, so they will be fine. No one wants to go to that frigid place. It’s like that Not-Hoth planet you read about in your slutty books about strapping blue aliens fucking Earthlings.”

“Read me to filth, why don’t you!” Gabe groaned, dropping his pretty face into his hands as Dre cackled. Then he peeked at me through his fingers. “They resonate for each other. It’s hot.”

I smiled reassuringly at the other piece of my heart. “Drop the link, bestie. We can start a slutty book club.”

“Sluts gotta slut,” Dre piped in.

“Perhaps you should join the club too, Andre,” Ziggy purred. “See what all the fuss is about.”

Space Daddy leaves no crumbs!

As usually happened when Ziggy reminded Dre about his repressed fantasies, the scarier twin had nothing to say.

Theo, however, did.

“Oh, how I would pay to see that!” he chortled before we all gaped at him. “What? This family is already twisted enough. What’s one more taboo log on the damnation fire?”

I mean…

“All joking aside, Ziggy,” Theo slipped back into Stellarian and searched his offspring’s face. “If you need somewhere to hide out, I will protect you.”

GAH!

As usual, Ziggy refused to show how deeply I knew those words affected him. “Honnor made a similar offer, but the last thing I want to do is bring danger to anyone’s doorstep. We will be fine.” He proudly gazed at me again. “My partner and I have a plan.”

Heck yes, we do!

“Very well.” Theo nodded and reached for his lunch, back to Earthling-speak once again. “ Please keep in touch. I would hate to be forced to reconnect with the one Stellarian I reproduced with,” he mock-gagged, “just to track you down.”

This crew can only handle so much ‘family.’

We said our goodbyes, and I turned to my partner. “So what else do we need to do to prep for Not-Hoth? I’ve got my winter-wear ready, and you’re changing back into your sexy Sasquatch fit…”

Ziggy eyes flared with heat. “I am. At this very minute, in fact, so perhaps it’s time to put all that prep to good use.”