Page 15 of Sour Candy (Sour Candy #1)

Benji was feeling weird again.

He’d woken up feeling achy and satisfied, but there was this formless anxiety deep in his bones that didn’t make sense until he rolled over and saw Noah in bed next to him.

The rush of joy had been immediately smashed by an overwhelming tide of mortification, which he was still struggling to fight back as he ate breakfast.

In bed. Next to Noah. Who had brought him breakfast in bed , on a tray , like some fairytale fucking prince.

Wait, the prince would have servants. A prince who cooked, then.

A prince who knew how to make the best scrambled eggs Benji had ever had, which really wasn’t fair.

You weren’t allowed to be rich and good at cooking and sweet and so good in bed he made Benji’s brain turn to mush.

An embarrassing, clumsy mush that made Benji’s face burn every time he remembered going limp in Noah’s hands just from the guy washing his hair.

It didn’t matter that Noah told him to stop waiting to be mocked.

Well, it helped . A little. But it didn’t undo a lifetime of being on edge, waiting for someone to laugh or treat him like shit or give up on him.

That was just how the world worked . One plus one equals two, eggs taste better with salt, and if Benji ever opened himself up, he would face the consequences.

They were just taking a little longer to arrive this time.

He had to fight a flinch when Noah touched his cheek.

“You had some egg,” Noah explained with a sheepish look. “What’re you thinking about?”

How you’ve seen parts of me no one else ever has or maybe ever will, Benji didn’t say.

He wasn’t just talking about his body. Noah had seen him, stripped down and exposed and begging.

Coaxed things out of him that he didn’t know were there.

How was Benji supposed to cope with that? How did anybody cope with that?

“Bus timetables,” Benji said.

Noah frowned. But before he could say anything, there was a distant clicking noise from outside the bedroom.

Benji froze.

“It’s just Henrietta,” Noah said. He raised his voice. “Hiiiii, Henry!”

A middle-aged woman’s voice floated through. “Hellooo, Mr. Noah! You have a package; I’ll put it on the kitchen counter!”

Noah hummed, leaning over Benji to place his plate on the bedside table.

“Oh, good,” he said. “It’s here.”

“What’s here?”

“One second.” Noah squeezed his shoulder and headed out of the room, pulling on a sleek dressing gown as he did so.

The door closed, and Benji stuffed another piece of toast into his mouth, trying to shove down his panic.

He’d felt so guilty when he thought for a split second that someone else might see him here in this fancy bed, eating breakfast his sugar daddy made him.

Like they’d look at him and know how easily Benji gave into him, or how deeply he didn’t belong here.

Like a speck of dirt on a spotless tile floor.

Ready to be wiped away and put with the rest of the garbage.

Distant sounds of small talk drifted through the bedroom door.

Benji strained to listen, but it was muffled, and he was too busy wolfing down the rest of his plate and then stumbling out of bed, grabbing his clothes off the floor.

He wasn’t going to stick around while a maid bustled around, cleaning up and glaring.

The door opened as Benji was pulling on his jeans.

Noah closed it neatly behind him, looking surprised to see Benji dressed and ready.

He was holding two bags. One of them was plastic, Benji’s jacket dry and pressed inside it.

The other was wrapped in dark tulle, almost exactly the same size as Benji’s jacket.

“Henrietta says hi,” Noah said.

“Hi back,” Benji said awkwardly. He gestured at his coat. “That was fast.”

“I pulled in a favor.” Noah placed the packages on the bed. Benji reached for his coat, but Noah stopped him.

“I want you to see this one first,” he said, handing over the package wrapped in dark tulle.

Benji hesitated. Then he unwrapped it, revealing a long green coat. It was smooth and buttery, thicker than any coat Benji ever owned. The cut was sharp, the buttons shiny as coins.

“It’s nice,” Benji said, stroking the fabric. “Kinda reminds me of this coat my favorite character wore when I was a kid. There was this sci-fi series about this guy who traveled around, solving space mysteries. He had a coat like this. Bit greener. But still.”

He handed it back.

Noah didn’t take it. “Glad you like it. It’s yours.”

“Oh,” Beni said, voice shooting to an octave he didn’t know was possible. “I didn’t— You can have it. I was just running my mouth.”

Noah smiled, amused. “I brought it for you, Benji. It was yours before you said that.”

“Oh,” Benji repeated, feeling like an idiot.

He stood there, coat hanging from his hands, his old coat lying on the bed, looking ratty and thin.

All the cleaning in the world wouldn’t fix that coat.

But it felt… right. Righter than this coat, which was so soft Benji wanted to press it against his cheek.

“I’m fine with my coat,” he tried.

“And you can have it,” Noah said. He stepped closer, plucking the soft coat’s collar. “Do you want a different type? I can exchange it. Something greener.”

“No,” Benji said, hugging the coat to his chest. “This is… this is good. The green is really beautiful.”

“Good,” Noah said. He paused. “It was the closest thing I could find to Kermit.”

Benji stared at him. Then it clicked, and he folded in on himself with the force of his groan.

“No,” he said as Noah tried to say something. “No, shut up. I can’t believe — I was six , okay? He’s a perfectly good first crush!”

“I was more of a Miss Piggy guy.”

Benji snorted, rubbing the coat fondly. “When did you even get this?”

“Online. While you were asleep.”

“Wow. Okay.” Benji swallowed. He’d been meaning to buy a new coat. He could have, with all the money Noah gave him last time. But there were so many other little things to get, and a coat had seemed unimportant until he was standing outside Noah’s apartment freezing his ass off in the sleet.

I want to spoil, dominate, and overwhelm you until you can’t take it anymore.

For some reason, Benji hadn’t thought much about getting gifts.

He hadn’t considered how uneasy it would make him feel, the same panic he often felt when Noah was too nice to him: that it was going to turn bad.

That it would get ripped out from under him any second, so he’d better be prepared.

But… he could keep the coat. He didn’t even have to wear it.

Hell, he could sell it if he wanted. The idea filled him with horror, but he could .

When Noah got tired of him and ended this arrangement, it would be good if Benji had collateral.

Like when women couldn’t have bank accounts, so they hoarded jewelry in case their husbands left. This could be like that.

He rubbed the thick material. He couldn’t even tell what it was made of. Cotton? Tweed? He didn’t know shit about clothes except that this was possibly the most expensive item of clothing he’d ever had in his hands. This coat wouldn’t go bobbly and start sprouting elastic, that was for sure.

“I can get another coat,” Noah said. “Something more Kermit-y.”

“Shut up. I do like it,” Benji said in a rush. “I just… I don’t know if I…”

“Deserve it?” Noah finished.

Benji winced. It sounded even more pathetic when Noah said it. But before he could make some snarky comment, Noah’s hand was on his chin, forcing his gaze on him.

“I decide what you deserve right now,” Noah said. “Understand? I decide that you deserve this coat. And everything else I give you.”

Benji shivered. His voice was so soft and authoritative that he couldn’t do anything against it. It was weirdly freeing. Benji almost forgot to feel weird about it, because it wasn’t his decision. It was Noah’s.

“Benjamin,” Noah prompted.

“What? Yeah,” Benji managed. “Yes. Okay.”

“Good boy.” Noah ran his thumb up and down his cheekbone, watching him so closely that Benji had to stop himself from twisting out of his grip.

Noah’s thumb stopped. “Too intense?”

“No,” Benji said, knee-jerk.

Noah frowned. “Benjamin.”

Benji squirmed. He couldn’t handle Noah looking at him disapprovingly, which was ridiculous.

People had been looking at him like he was shit since he started spilling juice on important power cables with his little toddler hands and ruining Christmas in the process.

People had sworn at him, rejected him, ridiculed him— spat on him that one time in middle school—but one slightly sad look from Noah, and he caved like a paper towel caught in the rain.

“Maybe a little, okay? I’m— What we did last night— I’ve never gone down like that before. Never really gone down before you, period.”

“Did you like it?”

Benji bit his cheek. Like was a small word for it.

Last night had been… overwhelming in every sense of the word.

Noah had unlocked parts of himself he thought would stay underground his whole life, things that scared him with how good they were.

Things he’d miss forever once Noah ultimately dismissed him.

He couldn’t imagine trusting anyone else with the things he’d given Noah.

“Not gonna lie,” Benji said. “That was kind of the best night of my life. I just… wasn’t expecting it.”

“Well,” Noah said. “You should get used to it.”

Benji had to close his eyes against a wave of want. He couldn’t get used to it. That would just make the inevitable end even worse.

His phone vibrated in his pocket. He pulled out of Noah’s grasp, relieved and disappointed when Noah let him do it. Then he checked the screen and swore.

“What?” Noah asked.

“Nothing. I need to pick up my brother. He made some robot crap that needs two people to carry it.” He took a step toward his boots and then stopped, groaning. “Shit, it’s Sunday!”

Noah gave him a questioning look.

“He’s in the suburbs, the bus only comes once an hour on Sundays,” Benji explained, shoving his boots on.

“Why does he keep making friends who live in such awkward parts of town? We’re gonna be stuck at that bus stop for ages.

His friend’s mom hates letting me in the house because of the one time I let her other kid eat a peanut treat.

How was I supposed to know she was allergic?

Kid wanted a peanut treat, I gave her?—”

Noah cut him off. “I can take you.”

Benji paused. Grinned again, sharp, reflexive.

“You gotta stop thinking I’m asking for shit every time I complain, man.

Noah,” he corrected when Noah’s eyebrow arched expectantly.

He bit his tongue against the next word that threatened to come out, the one he’d said dryly while Noah had him on the bed.

Daddy . It felt so good to say it, even as a joke. He didn’t want to dwell much on why.

He held his breath as Noah came closer, two fingers coming up.

Benji went dumb, lips parting automatically, a protest that they had to leave soon dying in his throat.

But Noah didn’t press into his mouth. He just brushed those fingers over Benji’s lower lip, his eyes bright and fond as he plucked something off.

“Eggshell,” he said softly.