Page 43 of Somewhere Without You

Forty One

Rows of dog food blurred in front of me—lamb and rice, chicken and quinoa, salmon. I grabbed several bags of each, unsure which one Dani preferred or if she even cared.

Behind the counter, the girl with the gumwasback. Her headbandwasblue this time instead of pink, and she didn’t bother looking up as she rang me through.

“Stillhere?”she said with a pop.

I smiled.“Stillhere.”

A young boy bagging groceries helped me load the heavy bags into the Jeep. Iwasabout to head back to the shelter whensuddenly, Ihadan idea. My fingers closed around the leftover change, jingling in my pocket as I crossed the street to the hardware store.

Mr. Abernathywasn’tthere. In his place stood a younger version of him. Hehadthe same kind eyes, but with shoulder-length dirty blonde hair instead of familiar white curls.

“Goodafternoon,”he greeted as I stepped inside.“Istheresomething I can help you find?”

I shook my head.“Justlooking, thanks.”

AsI wandered toward the back, Iwasstruckby how everythinghadchangedand yet, somehowhadn’t.

New shelves gleamed under fresh fluorescent lights, and the hand-painted signshadbeen replaced with sleek, modern ones.

The same red-and-white dusty tiles lined the floor, and the air stillsmelledlike oil and sawdust.

The penny candy sat in its usual spot, though most of the stockhadchanged. I grabbed a few lemonheads, some bubblegum, and a few random pieces I thought Dani might like. The idea of sharing them with her made me smile but it also made me miss Katherine.

Iwasrounding the corner toward the register, still admiring my little haul, when Iaccidentallywalked straight into someone.

My candy scattered across the floor.

“I’m so sorry,”I apologized, dropping to my knees to pick it up.

“It’s okay,”the woman said, kneeling to help me. She drew in a sharp breath.“Oh my God. . . Emily?”

My head snapped up. It took me a second to recognize her. Her blonde hairwaslongernow but those sharp blue eyeshadn’tchanged,and the youth in her facewasstill the same.

Madeline McBride.

“Maddie, hi,”I said, scooping up the last of the Double Bubble and rising to my feet.

“Wow,”she said, standing with me.“What’s it been, like fifteen years?”

“Eleven,”I said, my voice tight.

She rose onto her tiptoes, peering over my shoulder.“Where’s Katherine?”

“She’s still in California. Husband, kids, youknow. . . the whole family thing.”

“Totallygetit.Ifitweren’tfor my husband, I wouldn’t be here either.”She tossed a blonde curl over her shoulder.“Speaking of which. . .”

A shadow stretched across the tile, and I turned my head toseeLogan walking down the aisle.

“I couldn’t find the—”he started, but the words died in his throat. He slowed when hesawme, like someonehadtightenedan invisible leash around his neck.

“Babe,lookwhoit is!”Maddie beamed as he stepped beside her.

“Logan. . .”I spit out his name like a seed Ihadn’tmeantto swallow.“You two are married?”The question came out mechanical and hollow.

“Seven years this September,”she chirped, curling a possessive hand against his chest. My eyes dropped to the gaudy ring resting on herperfectlymanicured finger.

“Iknow,”she went on, catching my stare.

“Some days I still can’t believe it. I mean, who actually marries their childhood crush right?

Stuff likethatonly happens in movies.”

Logan’s facehadgonefrom chestnut brown to a queasy, mottled green.

“Are you okay?”Maddie asked, and for a second Iwasn’tsure if shewastalking to me or him.

“Yeah,”I said, my mouth dry.“Justa little lightheaded.”

“Logan told me about your little accident,”she said, gesturing to the bruise under my eye.

“He did?” I choked out in surprise.

“Of course. Something about the front door swinging open while hewashelping you fix it?”Her eyes flicked to the scab on his forehead.

“Lookslike you got the worst of it, though. That’s a nasty shiner.

”She leaned inslightly.“I’m so sorry about your grandmother, by the way. Shewasa lovely woman.”

Inearlylaughed. What the fuckwashappening?

Maddie tilted her head, concern still plastered across her perfect face. Logan stoodcompletelystill, likehe’dbeen turned to stone.

“I thought itwas so sweet when he told me hewashelping you fix up her house,”she said, slipping her arm through his.“Isn’t he the best?”

“The sweetest,”I managed a smile, but itwasthin and brittle.

“WhenLogan mentioned youwereback in town, Iwaslike, Emily Hart? No way!Buthere you are.” She let out a soft laugh, shaking her head.

“Here I am,”I echoed, the words sittingawkwardlyin my mouth.

Loganfinallylookedat me, his eyes locking on mine likehe’djuststepped off a cliff and realizedtherewasno bottom.

“Well,”Maddie saidbrightly,“we should catch up sometime. Do you have a number?”

I hesitated.“I’m only in town for a little while.”

“Oh, come on,”she laughed.“We’repracticallyneighbors. I mean, wecoulddo brunch or something. I’ll drag Logan along—he’ll hate it.”

“I’m sure he will,”I said before Icouldstop myself.

Her smile fellslightly, eyes flicking between the two of us.“Anyway,”she said, her tone cheery again,“We shouldgetgoing. We’re supposed to meet my mother for lunch and she hates it when we’re late.”

She tugged on Logan’s hand but he hesitated—justfor a second.

“Emily. . .”he said, so soft Ibarelyheardit.

I turned away.

They disappeared down the aisle, and I stoodtherefor a long moment, staring at the spot wherethey’dbeen standing, still holding the candy.

I didn’t remember walking to the counter. Ijustfound myselfthere, sliding coins across the scratched surface, the young man’s voicebarelyregistering as he wished me agoodday.

Outside, the air hit me like a slap. I leaned against the faded brick building, trying to breathe.

Eleven years.

Eleven years and the past stillknewexactlywhere to find me.