Page 40 of Somewhere Along The Way (Mackinnon #3)

Upstairs, the duchess was pondering just what she ought to do about the scene that had just transpired.

With great severity, she said, “By the wife of Job, I don’t know what ails you, Bella.

Now you come back downstairs and eat your breakfast and stop all this wailing before you make yourself sick. ”

Bella raised her tear-stained face and looked at her mother. “I shall never eat again. My heart is too full of sorrow.”

The duchess felt her face twitch. She forced back a smile. “Well, you needn’t bother your heart. The food goes in your stomach. Now, do come back.”

“I can’t. Besides, it isn’t even a decent English breakfast.”

“But I thought you liked woodcock.”

“I suppose I do, at times—but today isn’t one of them. I couldn’t possibly eat it now, not when I’m suffering from an affliction.”

“An affliction?” Lady Anne repeated, feeling some of the steam go out of her.

“Yes,” Bella said. “The most woeful kind.”

Her lips twitching, Lady Anne said, “And what kind is that?”

“Being handed over to the enemy by my parents. When I’ve met someone else I like ever so much better.”

That simply floored the duchess. “Annabella, what on earth are you talking about? Whom could you have possibly met that…” Sudden understanding dawned. “Oh, dear,” she said, shaking her head. “Quite the most horrid… Oh, I do wish your father were here.”

Annabella raised her head. “Well, I, for one, am glad he’s not.”

But her mother wasn’t listening. Moving to the side of the bed, she patted Annabella’s head. “I must do some thinking on this,” she said. “You try to get some rest. We’ll talk again later.”

Annabella lay there for what seemed an eternity after her mother left, but it was useless.

She couldn’t sleep. She didn’t want to eat.

All she could do was lie there and think about Lord Huntly and how much he resembled his King Charles spaniels.

It couldn’t have been worse if she’d been forced to marry one of them.

Needing some time alone and out of doors, she left her room and went downstairs to take one of her mother’s fortifying walks.

Seeking solace in the garden, she sat upon a cold, hard bench carved from stone, which was surrounded by catmint, lady’s mantle, and clematis.

She had been sitting there for over an hour when her mother joined her.

“I know it’s hard,” Lady Anne said, taking Annabella’s hand in her own, “and difficult to understand our ways and our reasons for doing the things we do, but please believe me when I say, we do love you, Bella. Dearly. Your father means well—as do I. I know our ways aren’t always right, Bella, and all I can say in our defense is, all our mistakes are well thought out.

” Seeing the incredulous look upon Annabella’s young, tear-streaked face, Lady Anne said, “You probably won’t understand this until you have children of your own. ”

“I won’t ever have children of my own, for I shan’t ever marry.”

“You will.”

“I shan’t. I’ll be dead of a broken heart, ere long. I know I will.”

The duchess put her arms around her daughter, stroking her dark, glossy head. “You’ve always been such a delightful child, Bella, so considerate, so mindful, always trying so hard to please. I never thought you might be unhappy.”

“Well, I am. I feel so miserable. And I hate it. I hate feeling this way. I hate growing up. I hate the thought of leaving home, yet I don’t want to stay there for the rest of my life, either.

” She doubled up her fists and pounded her lap in frustration.

“Oh, I don’t know what I want,” she said, looking at her mother. “But I do know what I don’t want.”

“What is that, dear?”

“I don’t want to marry anybody— ever . And I especially don’t want to live in Scotland.”

“I know. I felt the same way when I was your age and had to leave Scotland and live in a horrid place like England.” Anne smiled at the stricken face looking so earnestly at her.

“It’s true,” she said, wiping the tears from Bella’s cheeks with her handkerchief.

“I told my father I would rather become a nun than marry an Englishman and live in England.”

“What did he say?”

“He said I was being ridiculous, that I of all people should know good Presbyterians did not become nuns.”

“So you became a martyr instead.”

The duchess laughed. “Hardly that. I grew to love your father and that wretched place he called home, just as you will. Time, Bella. All it takes is time.”

Something I don’t have, Annabella thought. Not with that pestiferous grandson of the duke’s accosting me at every turn. And making me wish he would catch me, her tormented mind reminded her. Pulling her thoughts away from Ross Mackinnon, Annabella said, “Has a date for the wedding been set?”

“No. Your father feels you should remain in Scotland for at least a year before the wedding. That will give you time to know Lord Huntly a little better, to understand Scotland and the Scottish ways, and become more settled with the idea of living here.”

“But where will we live for a whole year?” Annabella asked, noticing the way her mother looked suddenly tense and a bit anxious.

“Mother, you aren’t going to leave me here , are you? Alone?”

The duchess looked a bit guilty. “We can’t stay here for much longer. Your father must get back to England, so he was thinking of taking your Uncle Colin up on his invitation to have you stay with them.”

“I see,” Annabella said, suddenly feeling too distraught even to cry. Her whole world had shattered right before her eyes and lay glittering and fragmented at her feet. Her sense of betrayal was great. She felt she didn’t have a friend in the world.

Understanding her despair, the duchess looked thoughtful for a moment, then her face brightened.

“Of course! You would like that ever so much better.” Clasping her hands together, she said, “How would you like to stay with your Aunt Mackenzie?” Oh, joy.

More strangers. Just what I need . “Aunt Mackenzie? I barely remember her.” And that much was true, for Una Mackenzie had visited her sister Anne in England once a few years back, since it was easier for Anne to make occasional treks to Scotland to see her family than it was for half of the McCulloch clan to come to England.

“You will like staying with Barra and Una,” she went on. “Your cousin Ailie is just about your age—perhaps a year or two younger. And Allan isn’t much older. They live in Wester Ross—not too far from Loch Maree. Bella, it’s a beautiful place. I know you would simply love it there.”

I would love living on the moon if I didn’t have to marry that Spaniel-faced Huntly. By this point in time, Annabella didn’t care where she went, as long as it was far, far away from Ross Mackinnon and Lord Huntly—and she threw her father in with the other two, for good measure.

Men were the source of all the trouble in her life. She didn’t care if she never saw another one. And she didn’t care if she never saw Scotland again either.

Scotland, her Scots kin, the man she was to marry—they were all strangers to her.

She sighed. Little difference it made where she weathered the storm.

Oh, to be in England again, to return home, to see the bleaching green where I used to lie in the grass and make daisy chains and necklaces of dandelion stalks.

But those things were as lost to her as the young girl she had once been.

Annabella was too sad to cry, too sad to feel anything save an acute sense of defeat.

Aunt Una or Uncle Colin. It didn’t matter.

All was lost. “Whatever you think, Mother.”

The duchess was on her feet now, a spark of excitement in her eyes. “I’ll speak to your father when he returns from Edinburgh. Perhaps your Uncle Barra Mackenzie could come for you, or Gavin could escort you and then meet us in Edinburgh on our way back to England.”

“Gavin,” Annabella said slowly. “I hadn’t thought about his leaving too.”

“Of course he must, dear. He is, after all, our only son and your father’s heir.

There is much waiting for him back in England, you know—although I fear he will go to wild oats as too many light brains given to newfangledness do.

” Seeing she was getting a bit off the track, she corrected herself.

“But don’t you fret so. You know no one could keep the two of you apart for long.

I’ve always said you and Gavin were closer than twins.

Now, cheer up. Gavin will be back in plenty of time for the wedding—before the rest of us, unless I miss my guess. ”

The duchess looked utterly satisfied with herself.

“I’ll go this minute and write Una straightaway.

She will be so happy to have you. All of her children are married and gone, save Ailie and her brother Allan.

The last time she wrote, she lamented the loss of her big family and told me how empty and lonely the house had become. ”

Giving her daughter one last look, the duchess said, “Well, I must be off. I’ve a fortnight’s work to do in a few days. I’ll post the letter to Una, then we’ll see about having a seamstress in. You’ll need some additions to your wardrobe.”

Why? Prisoners don’t need wardrobes.

After her mother charged from the garden like a saint with a mission, Annabella took a lengthy walk around the garden, stopping by an old fountain made of lichen-encrusted gray stone.

She stood beside the fountain, listening to its happy song and trailing her fingers through the water as she wondered about that place called Wester Ross.

“You’re a hard lass to find,” a voice behind her said. Annabella turned to see Ross Mackinnon strolling toward her, that same irksome grin on his face she remembered from the last time she had seen him. “If you’re going to throw yourself into that birdbath, tell me now and I’ll disappear.”

“It would almost be worth the effort,” she said, “if it meant I didn’t have to talk to you.”