Page 49

Naomi doesn’t rush in. Doesn’t plaster it over. She just watches me, steadily.

“Even though we haven’t… even though nothing’s happened that shouldn’t have.” I glance down at the hem of the blanket, tugging it between my fingers. “I can’t pretend I haven’t felt it. Felt something. For months now. Creeping in when I wasn’t looking.”

The words hang between us, heavy and sharp.

“You’re not him, Ellie,” she says finally, voice low and fierce.

I shake my head, throat burning. “Aren’t I, though?”

She squeezes my hand hard enough that it grounds me, brings me back to the moment. “You didn’t wake up one morning and decide to hurt him. You woke up every morning trying to save something he was already setting on fire behind your back. There’s a huge difference.”

The tears burn again, but they feel different now. Less shame. More release.

“You’re allowed to grieve what you hoped it would be. And you’re allowed to move toward something better. You don’t owe him your loneliness, just because he made you feel small.”

I nod slowly, breathing through the weight in my chest. “I’m sorry I didn’t tell you first.”

Naomi squeezes my hand tighter. “You don’t need to be sorry. You’ve been carrying all this for so long, trying to stay strong for Mia. And then someone finally saw you. Really saw you. Of course it all came out.”

She smiles, small but sure. “I’m glad it was him.”

My voice breaks into a whisper. “Who’d have thought after all these years. He’d be the one to catch me when I fell apart.”

Naomi leans back, the ghost of a grin playing on her lips. “Honestly? I’m not that surprised.”

I blink. “You’re not?”

She shrugs, like it’s obvious. “Ellie, you two were always magnetic. Even back then. I watched you orbit each other that entire week, like you didn’t even realise you were doing it. Like you were pulled together by something bigger than you.”

A breath escapes me. Soft and trembling at the edges.

Naomi’s smile tilts wistfully. “You think I didn’t notice how different you were that week? How different you are now? You glow when you’re around him.”

I look away, blinking the sting from my eyes.

“So yeah,” she says softly. “It makes sense that it’s him. That after all the bullshit… the person who sees you. Really sees you. It’s Kieran.”

The truth of it settles deep, somewhere under my ribs.

“Of course,” Naomi adds, a smirk tugging at her mouth, “I was expecting tattoos and a tragic man bun. But this version’s alright, I guess.”

A laugh bursts from me. Half-snort, half-sob. “You’re such a dick.”

“Yeah, yeah.” She bumps her shoulder into mine.

For a long moment, we just sit. The swing creaks. The breeze tugs the blankets tighter around us. The weight between us, heavy but shared now, finally feels a little lighter.

“I don’t know where I go from here,” I say at last. “It’s been good to get away, but I can’t hide out here forever.”

Naomi stays quiet, just listening.

“I already pulled Mia out of school for the week. I have to go back… but I can’t go back there. Not to that house. Not to him.” I pause, forcing the words out. “Nay… could we stay at yours? Just for a bit? Until I figure shit out?”

She doesn’t even blink. “Ellie. Of course. Jesus.”

Relief swells so fast, it nearly knocks the breath from my chest.

“Take the spare room,” Naomi says, squeezing my hand. “Hell, take my bed. I’ll sofa-surf if I have to.”

The tears prick again, but this time they taste like gratitude. “Thank you,” I whisper, the words thick and raw.

“You don’t have to thank me,” she says gently, tucking a piece of hair behind my ear the way she used to when we were sixteen and heartbroken. “You just have to keep going. One step at a time.”

I nod, a breath shuddering out of me. Then I lean into her shoulder and close my eyes. Just for a moment. Just long enough to borrow some of her steadiness.

“Now,” she announces, clearing her throat dramatically. “Let’s go pack before I get all misty-eyed and start quoting Adele or some shit.”

When we make it down the porch steps, the driveway is alive with motion. Bags being shuffled, car doors flung open, Buddy staging a protest by refusing to leave the front seat.

Ryder slams the boot shut. “Alright, that’s everything packed. I deserve a pint and a back massage.”

“That could be arranged,” Naomi winks, perching on the edge of the passenger seat. One leg crossed over the other, sunglasses in place, chin tilted like a queen surveying her domain. “If you’re nice.”

Ryder pauses mid-stretch, clearly surprised by her tone. I catch the flicker of a grin he tries—and fails—to hide.

“I can’t wait to see Claire again!” Mia’s voice rings out as she circles the car like she’s got rockets strapped to her feet, her tote bag bouncing off her hip. “Mum, can I stay up late tonight?”

I cross my arms and raise an eyebrow. “That depends. Are you going to eat all your veggies for the rest of the week and stop leaving wet towels on the bathroom floor?”

She groans, already climbing into the car. “Emotional blackmail! Naomi—help!”

“Sorry, kid. Team mum all the way.” Naomi grins over the roof of the car.

“Betrayed,” Mia sighs, slumping dramatically into her seat. “In broad daylight.”

I laugh, closing the door gently behind her. Just as I turn, the front door creaks open again.

Brian steps out, drying his hands on a faded tea towel, his usual flannel shirt half-tucked into jeans, glasses perched haphazardly on top of his head like he forgot they were there.

He takes in the scene. The buzzing energy, the loaded car, Naomi and Ryder still flirting at full volume, and then his eyes land on me. “Well, now,” he says warmly, something tugging at my chest. “Didn’t think I’d be sad to see my house get quieter, but here we are.”

I meet him halfway across the gravel, and when he opens his arms, I don’t hesitate. I step into them, letting his steady presence anchor me for just a second longer than I meant to. “Thank you,” I murmur, voice thick again. “For everything. For letting us stay, and not asking questions.”

He pulls back slightly, his gaze gentler now.

“I don’t know what you’re going through,” he says, voice low and certain, “and I’m not gonna pretend to understand the weight of it all…

but I’ve been watching that boy of mine all week.

” A knowing smile tugs at the corners of his mouth.

“It’s clear as day how much he cares about you.

The way he looks at you. Like he’s already made up his mind. ”

My throat tightens, but I say, quietly, “I don’t know what I did to deserve him.”

Brian huffs a soft laugh. “Ellie, sometimes people just see each other. No games. No performance. Just truth.”

He glances toward the car, then back at me. “Girlfriends have come and gone over the years. A few I liked. Most I didn’t. But this? Whatever this is?” He shakes his head, his smile softening. “This is different. I’ve never seen him like this.”

I swallow, blinking hard. “I don’t even know what this is, Brian,” I admit, barely above a whisper. “My life, the mess I’m in… I just don’t want to mess everything up.”

Brian nods, like he’s not surprised. “Then take your time. But, Ellie, don’t push it away just because you’re scared. Just let it be real.” He rests a hand gently on my shoulder. “You’ve got a good one there. And from where I’m standing, it looks like he’s ready to wait as long as you need.”

My breath shudders out of me, and I manage a small, watery smile. “Yeah.”

“You’re both welcome back anytime,” Brian adds, voice a little rougher now. “Door’s always open. But look after yourself and that girl of yours, yeah?”

I nod, but before I can say anything else, the front door swings open again.

Kieran steps out, carrying the last of the bags. His hair is a mess. Soft and tousled, like he’s run his hands through it all morning. There’s a quiet stillness in him that hasn’t faded since last night, like he’s walking around with part of my story now. Holding it carefully.

He crosses the driveway in a few long strides and drops the bags at Ryder’s feet. Ryder doesn’t miss a beat, hoisting them into the car with a grunt.

Kieran turns to me then, eyes locking with mine. He says nothing at first. Just closes the distance and pulls me into a hug, one hand curling protectively around the back of my neck.

I let myself lean into him. Just for a moment. Just long enough to memorise this.

“Thank you,” I whisper into his shirt, knowing he hears it.

He pulls back slightly, hands settling at my waist. His eyes are so soft, it almost undoes me. “You’re gonna make me all emotional,” he murmurs, trying for a smirk. “Not a good look.”

I laugh under my breath. My heart still feels full and fragile all at once.

Then he reaches up, tucks a piece of hair behind my ear, and says, “Everything I said under that tree… I meant it. Every word. And you can hold me to that promise.”

I frown a little. “What promise?”

His grin curves slowly. “The one where I said I’d make you feel everything.”

A rogue butterfly kicks inside me, and I open my mouth to respond, but before I can, he cups my face, gentle and certain, and leans in.

His palms are warm against my cheeks, thumbs brushing lightly beneath my eyes, like I might shatter if he’s not careful.

And then he kisses me. Not rushed. Not hungry. Just a kiss. Closed lips, soft and certain.

But it unravels something inside me all the same.

My breath catches. My fingers curl instinctively into the front of his shirt, gripping him like my body’s afraid to let go.

It’s not about heat, not yet. It’s something steadier. Truer. Like he’s placing a piece of himself in my hands and trusting me not to break it.

When he finally pulls back, his forehead lingers against mine. His breath mixes with mine, warm and steady.

He’s smiling. Soft and unguarded. “When the time’s right… you’re mine , Carter.”

And the way he says it—it’s not a question. It’s another promise.

Behind us, Naomi beeps the car horn. “All aboard the heartbreak express!”

I laugh, shaking my head and pulling away as Kieran lets me go.

Gravel crunches beneath my boots as I walk to the car, heart still thudding against my ribs. Already strapped in, Mia dramatically waves to Buddy, as if the cat might follow us home.

I slide into the driver’s seat and barely get the door shut before Naomi grins at me like she’s about to combust.

“Okay,” she says, shifting in her seat, “what the fuck was that?”

I just shrug. And sigh. Dreamily. “It was… something.”

Naomi lets out a squeal. “Alright, we’ll debrief on the road. But first…” she plants her feet on the dash with a flourish, “we need snacks.”

As we pull away, I glance out the window. Kieran’s still standing by the front steps, one hand lifted in a lazy wave, that soft smile still lingering on his face. In the rearview mirror, the farmhouse gets smaller and smaller until it’s hidden by a curve in the road.

As the music starts, something upbeat and nostalgic, the countryside rolls past us in a blur of gold and rust, the colours of early October bleeding into each other. The hedgerows whip by like brushstrokes, and overhead, a pale, cloudless sky stretches in front of us.

For a moment, I let myself feel it.

The quiet.

The warmth still blooming low in my chest.

I can still feel the ghost of Kieran’s kiss on my lips. The steady pressure of his hands, the way I held onto his shirt like I didn’t want to let go. Like some part of me already knew what he was offering.

My fingers tighten slightly on the steering wheel. Because it’s not just about the kiss.

It’s about being seen. Chosen. Without conditions. Without having to earn it by shrinking myself.

I lean back into the headrest, watching the world blur past. And slowly, inevitably, the weight of what’s waiting creeps in.

The house I left. The wreckage David made of our lives. The mess I still have to walk back into.

I have no actual plan. No job. No fixed place to stay beyond Naomi’s generous offer.

But I’m not going back to pretending.

Not to silence.

The knot in my stomach tightens with every mile. A quiet dread, humming like background noise, louder the closer we get to the life I left behind.

You’ve got a good one there. He’s ready to wait.

Maybe that’s enough for now. And maybe I don’t have to know how this ends.

Maybe—I just have to keep moving forward.