Page 33 of Solomon's Ransom
“I know. That’s what I hate. Not being able to do anything else.” Sol scrubbed both hands through his hair, leaving it a wild mess. “I’m just stuck here, just—waiting for other people to decide what happens to me. I just have to hope your boss doesn’t kill me, and meanwhile I’m trapped in this room with nothing to do. It sucks!” He groaned and shook his head. “Sorry for complaining so much.”
“I can hardly blame you. I know it’s been tough. I’m sorry, it’s my fault?—”
“We don’t need to go through your litany of guilt again. I don’t want to talk about who’s to blame.” Sol tipped sideways to rest his head on Remma’s shoulder. “I’m just glad you’re here with me. So I don’t have to do this all alone.”
Tender emotions squeezed at Remma’s heart, and he couldn’t say they had come out of nowhere. He’d been feeling this for a while, and trying not to feel it—trying not to think about it, afraid of rejection, especially after he’d betrayed Sol’s trust. But here Sol was, trusting him again, miraculously, and that was a gift Remma didn’t want to squander.
Remma put a hand on Sol’s head and held him close. “You won’t ever be alone as long as I’m here.”
Sol made a quiet noise and nestled closer. His hair was so soft. Remma carded his fingers through and felt a new galaxy blooming inside him, full of stars and wonders. He wanted to keep Sol close—right at his side, just like this. For always.
“What will you do?” Sol asked after a few minutes. “If it works, and I go back home?”
“I don’t know yet,” Remma said.Ask me, he urged Sol silently. The invitation was there, ready to be spoken. Ask him, say the words?—
“Well.” Sol made a considering noise. “I’m sure you’ll figure something out.”
Remma’s heart sank like a stone. “Yeah. I’m sure I will.”
* * *
Remma went back latethat evening, even though going twice in one day was surely very telling ofsomething. But Denna already knew about his unseemly obsession with their human captive, so what could it make worse at this point? Remma didn’t have it in him to calculate exactly how long he should space out visits to make his fellow pirates think he wasn’t fucking the prisoner. He was. Everyone probably knew it. He couldn’t imagine it mattered.
He would be off this ship before long. If Sol didn’t want him, he could—well, he had lots of options. Any backwater orbital would take him. He had useful skills, and he knew how to keep his mouth shut and his head down and stay out of trouble. Or he’d go back to Tozra and see if his family would take him in after he’d ignored all their advice to stay home in the first place. He’d wanted to travel, that was all; to see the universe. And now he’d seen more parts of it than he’d ever expected and he was tired. He wanted to rest for a while, and be with people who cared about him.
He’d managed to filch a few packets of medical lubricant from the infirmary, and he took a few of them with him now, stuffed in his pockets like contraband. He hoped to put them to good use.
The guard outside the door rolled his eyes as Remma approached. “You again?”
“Isn’t your shift change happening soon,” Remma said.
The guard smirked. “Not soon enough for your purposes. I know what you’re up to.”
“Visiting my friend,” Remma said, as blandly as he could manage.
“Sure,” the guard said after a beat, but he opened the door without giving Remma anything more of a hard time.
Sol was on the bed, eyes half open. He sat up when Remma came in, and there was that smile again, wide and pleased. “You’re back.”
“Yes. I brought something for you.” Remma fished a packet from his pocket and tossed it into the bed. “Here.”
Sol picked it up and squinted at it. “What is this?”
“Lube. I finally managed to find some, as you requested.”
“I see.” Sol smirked at him. “Good work, Remma.”
“Thanks. I live to serve. I’m pretty sure it’s compatible with human physiology, by the way. It’s mostly water.”
“Pretty sure? Oh, good, let’s put it on my asshole immediately and hope things turn out for the best.” Sol gave him a mock-stern look. “Leave it to Tozra to manufacture lube I’m horrifically allergic to.”
“Obviously we’re not going to test it anywhere sensitive. Put some on the back of your hand and see what happens.”
“What if there’s a delayed reaction?” Sol complained, but he was already doing it, tearing open the packet and squirting a bit onto his hand. It looked innocuous, a clear gel, odorless. Sol’s skin didn’t turn red or start blistering. “Probably good,” Sol said.
“We should wait a while and see if anything else happens,” Remma said.
“Nah. I’m willing to risk it.” Sol grinned. “You’ve kept me waiting so long. I’m impatient.”