35

But ten o’clock came and went, and Grant didn’t appear for his shift. Looking like a coppery-skinned storm cloud, Bear called the cell number he’d provided. No service, but that wasn’t anything unusual. He’d said all along that he didn’t have good service here.

Even though Lila’s shift didn’t start until later in the day, she spent the morning doing Grant’s job—making corn chowder and chicken tortilla soup—while Bear asked around about who might be hosting the new cook on their couch.

Around two, he came into the kitchen with the look of a detective who’d finally found a clue. “I know where Grant is staying. He does know someone at the Community, just like we thought, and that’s where he is. I’m going to head out there now. Can you hold things down here?”

“Wait!” The thought of him leaving her behind made her panic, whether for him or herself, she wasn’t sure. “I want to go with you.” She set down the ladle on the Formica counter and started to untie her apron.

“Someone needs to stay here, and I can’t reach any of my part-timers. And I don’t want you heading out there on your own.” She could tell his decision was made—and knew it was the right one.

But still, she didn’t like it.

“I’ll be fine.” He came close to her and tucked a bent finger under her chin, lifting her face to meet his eyes. His dark gaze encompassed her with so much fierce passion that her knees went weak. “The road out there just got plowed. Oil Can says it’s very passable, and there’s only about five people staying there at the moment, including Grant. I’ll be back in two hours, max. I’ll take my Toyota truck in case you need to drive somewhere. But don’t. I’ll be back before you know it.”

“What if you find Grant and something’s wrong? Do you promise to come right back anyway?”

He hesitated, scanning her face, which she tried to school to show no worry. “Are you sensing something I should know about?”

She nervously moistened her lips. That was always a nearly impossible question to answer. Only a few times had she been so sure that she spoke up. “Not like that, no. I just…want you to be safe.”

He skimmed a thumb across her cheek. “I want you to be safe too. Don’t go outside this building until I get back. With Grant missing, we just don’t know what’s going on. Promise?”

“Can I go upstairs and feed Jack Daniels?”

A smile touched his lips. “You’re a sweetheart. But I already fed him and the last thing he needs is extra food, so it’s better if you just stay here. With all these customers around, it’s probably the safest place in Firelight Ridge.”

“Yes, my half-drunk army of protectors.”

On that lighter note, he dropped a kiss on her lips—a quick one, his thoughts already on his mission—and left the kitchen. Her heart lurched and she had a terrible feeling that she’d left something out, forgotten something.

She should have told him that she loved him. Actually told him, with words, not just smiles and touches.

She turned off the burner and went out to the bar. Get a grip, silly , she lectured herself. Bear was a big strong man, a trained police officer, a fearsome tender of the bar, the de facto peacekeeper of an entire remote rough-and-tumble outpost. He could take care of himself.

Lucky for her, distraction came in the form of Molly and Ani walking through the door. “Bear said you might need some company,” Ani said cheerfully. “He stopped on the road to let us know you were queen of The Fang today.”

He was so thoughtful. Her heart gave a little jump of joy, before settling back down toward anxiety. She poured each of them their favorite drink—gin and tonic for Molly, red wine for Ani—and soaked in their presence, so familiar, so precious to her.

“You should have something, too,” Molly urged her.

“No, I’m too nervous. Bear’s going out looking for our missing cook, and I won’t relax until he’s back.”

Ani, always the first to offer sympathy, touched her hand. “Understandable. You two have gotten so close.”

“To be fair, they’ve been close ever since Lila got here,” said Molly. “Now their closeness is evolving into…well? Care to finish that sentence?” She raised her eyebrows at Lila.

“I love him,” Lila said simply. “I love him. That’s all.”

Her friends went quiet as they absorbed her seriousness. She’d always been someone who flitted from one thing to the next. Never had she said such a thing out loud.

“And no, he doesn’t know.” She held up a finger as she went to pour Mallard Brown another shot of bourbon. When she got back, her friends were talking to each other in low voices. “Are you shocked?”

“Of course not.” Ani shook her head. “We’re happy. Bear is the one and only man I’ve ever known who comes close to deserving you.”

That heartfelt statement made Lila’s face warm. What would she do without her friends? For a moment, those old Fangtooth Gulch friends from the past flashed through her mind. Paulina, Nancy, Gwen and Allison. Their friendship had been formed by ice and snow and blizzards. It must have been a lifeline for them all. Whatever Nancy and Allison knew, surely Paulina would have known too?

Hiding. And biding.

She was still keeping secrets, out of fear or for some other reason. Lila was sure of it.

She shook off the thought, since she couldn’t follow up on it now anyway.

“That’s sweet, but I’m not sure where he stands.”

“Where he stands? I’m pretty sure he’ll stand wherever you want him to,” said Molly dryly. “That man has been eating his heart out over you from the very beginning.”

“He’s never said…” Lila screwed up her face in doubt. She knew Bear had feelings for her—that much was obvious—but they could be mostly lust or protectiveness.

“Bear doesn’t seem like a big talker. Gil’s a little like that too.” Ani’s smile radiated bliss and contentment. “But that doesn’t mean he doesn’t have something to say.”

“I bet he’s unsure about you and your plans,” said Molly shrewdly. “Call that my lawyer’s intuition. I can read body language, you know. It seems to me that he’s holding himself back.”

That rang true to Lila. Why wouldn’t he be unsure about her plans when she never had any? All she knew right now was that she had to be in Firelight Ridge at least for the winter. “Do you guys remember when my hair turned this shade of white?”

“Of course. We had that slumber party for your eighteenth birthday. You went from blond to silver overnight.” Molly twisted a lock of her own merlot-colored hair. “I was jealous, it was the most gorgeous color. But why do you bring it up?”

“Because of the dream I had that night.”

Both her friends leaned forward, nearly breathless with fascination. “I had no idea you had a dream,” said Ani. “You never said.”

“No. I never told anyone, because I really didn’t know what it meant, but I knew it was important. I dreamed about…snow.”

“Snow.” Molly repeated after her and shared a glance with Ani. “Just snow?”

“So much snow. Endless snow. It was…breathtaking. And there was a bear.”

Her friends gasped. Even Lila got chills saying it out loud. This was something she’d kept to herself for so long. The first time Bear had introduced himself, she’d remembered that dream, then laughed at the funny coincidence.

But was it?

“A bear was walking through the snow, deep snow, up to his chin in it, and he saw me. He turned his head to look at me and I knew he needed me. But he kept going and disappeared into a valley. I started to fly across the snow after him—literally fly, with my arms spread—but I couldn’t see him anymore, and then I fell into the snow and everything turned white. That’s when I woke up. I knew something was different. I could feel it. I went into the bathroom and saw that my hair was white.”

Ani slowly shook her head. “That’s incredible, Lila. I don’t know what to say.”

“I do.” Molly shook herself, as if coming out of a trance. “Now I know why you came here. For the snow and for Bear.”

That was so close to what Lila had been thinking that she teared up. Molly always understood. Even though they were so different in so many ways—Molly was capable, logical, brilliant, decisive, confident—she got Lila and watched out for her and always had.

“Maybe it’s true,” she said softly. “But I think there’s something more. Something very wrong and bad happened here and that’s why I came here.”

Molly bristled. “Why is it on you to fix it? You shouldn’t put yourself in danger. That’s exactly why I came after you.”

“Molly, I know you’ve always been protective of me, and I admit that I needed it. You’ve covered my rent when I couldn’t quite do it, you’ve faked job references for me.”

“Shhh.” Molly glanced around the bar with a guilty expression. “I just got my Alaska bar license, don’t get me in trouble.”

“Sorry. Anyway, the point I’m trying to make is that being here in Firelight Ridge has changed me. I’ve grown up a lot. Yesterday, I tied my record for longest time at the same job. Today, I broke it.”

Molly offered her a high-five, while Ani lifted her wine glass in a “cheers.”

“My whole life, I’ve never understood why I am the way I am. I’ve never felt like it helped me.” She brushed a fallen strand of hair away from her face. Partly white, partly her current hot pink. “It kept me from putting down roots anywhere, it kept me from having good relationships.”

“Your intuition saved our lives,” Ani pointed out gently. “That’s something.”

“Yes. You’re right.” Lila expelled a long breath. “If not for that, and for you guys, you and Charlie, I’d probably be popping pills to make it all go away.”

“Wait.” Molly held up a hand. “You said your intuition isn’t as powerful here. Is that why you’ve been able to stay here longer?”

“I think being here has made me feel like it doesn’t control me.” Yes, that was it. A weight eased off her heart as she said it out loud. “I don’t have to fight it. I don’t have to give in to it. I can just…work with it.”

“Like it’s a part of you, but just one part.” Ani’s dark eyes gleamed with her usual compassion.

“Exactly. It’s part of me, and I accept it, I appreciate it, but it’s not the whole story of Lila Romanoff.”

Her friends raised their glasses to that. The sound of celebratory clinking made it seem official.

A hand wave halfway down the bar got her attention. Lasse Ulstrom leaned one elbow on the counter and beckoned to her. Normally so friendly, today the dog musher wore a serious frown.

“Be right back,” she murmured to her friends, and hurried his way.

“I heard something you might want to know,” Lasse told her in a low voice. “You were asking about the Hardwells. Turns out Billy and Mark were both in Blackbear for a fundraiser not too long ago. Mark’s definitely got his eyes on the governor job. Billy’s cleaned up his act and talks a big game about fighting drug addiction. I still wouldn’t give them the time of day, but a lot of people don’t remember all that mess from before.”

“Thanks, Lasse. Do you happen to know when they were here?”

“Nah, just sometime in the fall. They hosted a bunch of out-of-state money guys for some hunting.”

That knot in Lila’s stomach was getting bigger and more impossible to ignore. She thanked Lasse for the information, and went back to her friends, her mind made up.

“How would you two feel about watching the bar for a while? I’ve just got this nagging feeling that something isn’t right. I told Bear I’d stay here, and I hate to break my word to him. But?—”

“How about this?” When Molly used her lawyer voice, everyone listened. “Ani can watch the bar, and I’ll go with you. That way you won’t be alone.”

Lila swung her gaze over to Ani. She had a permanent limp from a terrible incident that had occurred at the age of twelve. Working the bar entailed a lot of walking back and forth. Would that be too much for her hip?

“Happy to,” said Ani cheerfully. “So long as I can help myself to cappuccinos as needed.”

“Pay you in caffeine? It’s a deal. I can also pay you in money,” Lila added.

“Absolutely not. I’ve got this. Don’t worry. If I have any trouble, I’ll call on Gil. Or maybe Lachlan. He makes the best White Russians, he has a scientific formula for them. He says if he wasn’t a geologist, he’d be a mixologist.”

Her overwhelming sense of relief made Lila realize she’d been itching to go after Bear the minute he’d walked out the door. Did that mean she was letting her intuition control her?

No. She was respecting it. Respecting herself. And just to be safe, she’d bring a throwing knife, the one Bear had given her after their training session in the woods.

“One more question,” she asked her friends. “Did either of you drive a truck here today? Four-wheel drive, hopefully? Me and that F-250 don’t have the best relationship.”