Page 31

“This did not satisfy her. She took me by force to her father, the ice goblin king, and demanded that he force me to marry her.” He looked up to meet her eyes for a moment and then back down at the blanket.

“The king was furious with me for refusing her, and with her for choosing a weak and foolish human. He said he would change me into something stronger, something fiercer, and so he changed me into a bear. But only during the day. At night, I shivered as a man. For two and a half centuries, I have refused to marry her. As a human, I despise her and everything she has done, and I will not sully my name by uniting it with hers, nor will I reward such selfishness by conceding a single inch to her.”

He shuddered. “But as a bear, I began to forget what it was to be human, and every night, when I lost my thick fur and regained my human form, I found it more disorienting and more terrifying. As a beast, I was able to endure the merciless cold. As a human...” He looked up at her again, his dark eyes anguished.

“As a human, I grew more hopeless. The king died, perhaps by Javethai’s hand, although I do not know for sure, and his magic is tied up in me, so that whatever selfish version of love she once had for me is now lost in her desire for power.

“I am nothing to her but an obstacle. She still wants to marry me, but only as a show of power, a show of her victory over man, and as a final demonstration that she has taken the full power of the ice goblin monarch for herself.”

At this, he subsided into silence, until at last he said, “Frigtirk told me about the blankets keeping me sleeping when you came in before. Thank you for trying again.” He met her eyes, and there was such a sweet gratitude that Gytha had the sudden urge to throw her arms around him.

But it was different now that he was shaped like a man, and she felt too shy to actually do it. Instead, she said, “The ice goblin prince is here, and he is going to help free you from the queen.”

Alexander stared at her. “The prince? There is no prince.”

“Eshkeshken. He was the servant I called Magni when we were in that strange, underground prison.”

Alexander frowned thoughtfully. “Eshkeshken,” he said to himself. “I’ve heard the name before. You are sure he’s telling the truth?”

Gytha nodded. “I think so. The winds acknowledged him as the prince, as if they knew him, and others here did too.”

“The winds?” He looked at her with those soft, dark eyes, so different than the blue eyes of her own people, and she blushed.

“This palace, or city, is at the north end of the world, east of the sun and west of the moon, where only the winds can go,” she said.

“That’s what Eshkeshken said, and the winds each took us some distance closer, and we walked a long way.

But they also did something to him, and he’s suffering a great deal. More than he will admit.”

Alexander studied her face. “You feel for him.”

Gytha bit her lip. “Yes. He was kind to me. Not as you were, but maybe with even less reason. He saved my life after the queen took you. He told me to wear my coat and gloves and boots to bed, and when the caves collapsed, he and Dakjudr dug me out and fed me.” She looked pointedly at the plate of meat. “You should eat.”

He looked down at the plate in surprise. “Oh. Yes. I haven’t…” He dragged his fingers through his tangled hair. “I forgot.”

“To be hungry?”

“To care that I was hungry.” He gave a soft huff of laughter that was almost bitter, but not quite. The huff sounded like a smaller, more human version of the sound he had made as a bear.

“How much do your injuries hurt?” she asked gently.

He put a piece of meat in his mouth and shrugged a little. “I forgot to care about that, too,” he muttered.

“Well, I care,” Gytha said.

His gaze flicked up to her face again, startled. “Why?”

Her heart twisted with sympathy. “You were kind to my family when we had almost lost hope. Maybe you don’t have much hope left, so it is up to me to hold onto hope.”

“Hope of what?” His voice broke.

“In the morning, the queen will come. She said that if you remembered me and asked for me, she would let you choose your bride between her and me. She expected you to be enchanted into sleep tonight too, so of course you would not remember me. But I imagine there will be some trick, even if she allows you to choose. Be careful of her.”

“You want to marry me?” He stared at her, his eyes wide and shocked. “Why?”

“It was the only thing I could think of!” She felt sick with embarrassment.

“Eshkeshken said to offer her a bargain, and I couldn’t think of anything else.

I was so angry for you! The guards were stabbing you with those spears and lances.

It was all I could think of. I argued that you hadn’t had a real choice, and you would choose me over her if you had a choice.

“One of the goblins spoke up then. He appealed to her pride and said it would be better for her prestige if you chose her rather than being coerced, and he offered me as a much inferior alternative.”

He drew back a little, his dark eyes flicking over her face again and then down the floor, as if he were embarrassed. Why would he be embarrassed ?

“You don’t have to marry me!” she whispered hurriedly.

“It just seemed like the only way to get to you at all. Anyway, if you marry me, we can pretend it never happened later. A vow made under duress and threat of death isn’t really binding, is it?

It’s just a ruse to get you free. We just wanted a way to get you away from her.

I got her to agree that you should be in your human form, so you could voice your preference clearly. ”

Alexander pulled the blanket tighter around his shoulders. “Even though no one remembers me, I am still a prince,” he said. “My word is my bond. I will not vow falsely.” He looked down at the blanket and shuddered. “I’m sorry.”

Gytha flinched. “You’d rather let her carve your heart out and eat it in front of everyone than marry me?

Knowing that I won’t even hold you to it?

” Tears welled in her eyes. “What have I done to offend you so? It’s not fair!

” Her voice cracked, and she tried to bring her unruly emotions under control. “I’m just trying to help you.”

He was staring at her with wide eyes. “I think you misunderstood, or perhaps I did.”

She bit her lip and watched him compose himself. His eyes were so tired, his cheeks so thin, that she felt her sympathy rise again, stronger than her hurt.

He took a deep breath and raised his chin before he spoke.

“You have already sacrificed much for me, coming to this icy end of the world. I will not marry you in a farce to save my skin, no matter how generously you intended the offer. If I marry you, or anyone, it will be with all my heart, for all my life, however long or short that is.”

“What if it wasn’t a farce?” Gytha felt the desperation in her words.

“I can’t let you die, Alexander. You said you once thought you could find love with someone who lived with honor and integrity.

I will do my best not to disappoint you!

I don’t want a title or anything, I just want you to live and not let that horrible woman kill you. I?—”

“No!” He shook his head, his face even paler than before. “I didn’t mean…” He raked trembling fingers through his hair again. “I am sorry. I meant that you have sacrificed so much for me already that it would be cruel to accept this, too.”

“Could you love me, if we were married under other circumstances?”

“How can you even doubt it?” He swallowed and met her eyes again.

“When I was a bear, I didn’t notice that you were beautiful; I only noticed that you smelled of death but still smiled kindly at those you loved.

I saw that you were kind to me, even though you were terrified.

Your courage and compassion won my heart.

“Now, with human eyes, I…” He gripped the ends of the blankets more tightly.

“I am reminded that you must have hopes and dreams beyond this frozen end of the world.

Maybe you have a good man waiting for you, ready to give you a happy life.

And I have nothing but centuries of painful memories that haunt me and a royal title long since forgotten.

No one who still lives, other than you, even knows my name.

“How can I ask you to throw away your good future to save me a quick death? The queen has told me for years she would not let me die before marrying her, and now she is angry enough to kill me. It seems the best way out for both of us. You can go back home, free to marry whom you choose.”

A surge of fierce, hot anger made Gytha’s voice sharp.

“I don’t accept that. I didn’t come all the way here to watch you die at that evil woman’s hand, and you have no right to tell me that marrying you is throwing away my good future!

Everything I know of you is good and kind, and that’s the kind of man I want to marry.

Why should we not find happiness together, if we both choose to love each other well? ”

He blinked several times, as if reevaluating everything he knew. “I don’t want you to marry me out of pity,” he said at last. “Death is a better option than marrying her, and I am willing to accept it.”

“Is it really better to die than to marry me?” She swallowed. “And I don’t mean out of pride because you don’t want to burden me, but do you really think being married to me would be worse than death? You think you’d be so miserable you’d rather die?”

“Of course not!” His voice rose a little in dismay. “I want you to be free to choose whom you marry.”

“Then I choose you!” she cried. “Maybe this isn’t the best way of starting a marriage, but we can continue better once you’re free. Don’t you think we could find our way to love, if we both tried?”

“You would really marry me, knowing so little of me, and not feel it a burden or a disgrace?” His eyes were wide and haunted. “How can you be so sure?”

“Please, Alexander,” she said softly. “Please. Think of how you would feel if someone had been so kind and generous to you, and then wouldn’t even accept your love and gratitude in return.

If you marry me, I will have no regrets.

If you die, I will grieve for all my days that your pride and hurt kept you from accepting me, and I will feel hurt that you would rather die than attempt to make a happy life with a woman who loves you. ”

His dark eyes brimmed with emotion. He took her gloved hands in both of his and raised them to his lips and then to his eyes, hiding them. It was several minutes before he spoke, and Gytha could feel his hands trembling as he still held her.

“I am honored,” he said in a low voice, “and I will choose you before everyone, now and always. I love you already, and I am sure that, if I survive the queen’s wrath, I will love you more day by day. I will endeavor to make you glad of this sacrifice. ”

“It’s not a sacrifice,” she whispered. “It is a joy, even if it is surrounded by pain.”

He squeezed her hands.

Something in Gytha’s heart shifted from fear to determination. She would not leave this place without him. “Eat, please,” she said. “I don’t know what Eshkeshken is planning, but I think you will need your strength.”

He pressed her hands again before he straightened. “Yes. You are right.”

For several hours, they talked quietly; it seemed good to both of them to not let the silence draw out too long, because then they felt awkward and unsettled with each other. Gytha asked many questions about Alexander’s past, about his time in the north and what he remembered of his childhood.

“I was born in Elestar, the capital city of Eleria, in a beautiful palace built into the side of a cliff overlooking the sea. In the mornings, I watched the sunrise from the windows overlooking the valley to the east, and from my bedroom, I watched the sunset over the water.”

“I’ve never seen the sea, not really. Only that moment at the entrance to the queen’s prison.”

He blinked and looked at her. “That’s right. I suppose you wouldn’t have. You saw it covered with ice, and only for a moment. It wasn’t free, like I saw it.

“I loved watching the storms roll in over the water, the dark clouds looming like mountains and the waves crashing upon the cliffs. The palace was all stone on the outside, so there was no real danger, but the air crackled with energy, and it made me feel free and alive.”

“I would like to see it someday,” Gytha mused.

“The smell of the sea is salt and fish and immense open space. It is beautiful and perilous and unpredictable. But the palace was safe .

“When I was young, I heard of other kingdoms in which brother hated brother, and they fought or killed for power. But my brother and I loved each other. We never fought over anything serious; we had only foolish children’s squabbles.

He was six years younger than I was. Maybe that kept us from feeling like rivals.

“I wish I’d been able to see him rule. He was twelve when I… when the queen took me.” He looked down. “The queen’s magic kept me alive, but I know centuries have passed. Everyone I knew and loved is long dead. I always wanted…” He stopped again, wrapping the blanket tighter around his shoulders.

When he did not speak again, Gytha asked, “What did you want?”

He swallowed. “To not be forgotten.” He met her gaze, his eyes haunted.

“Every memory I ever shared with someone, every time I heard my brother laugh, every time my mother sang, every time my father put his arm around my shoulders… they’re all gone, and all memory of them is held only in my mind, and my memory was fading.

All the warmth of those memories was slowly disappearing, replaced by ice.

“You shouldn’t marry me, Gytha. I have nothing left: my name has been forgotten off the face of the earth, my family is dead, my palace is far away and probably occupied by people who never knew I lived at all.

I have no home to bring you to, no skill to provide for you other than what little I remember of a prince’s education. I have nothing to offer you.”

“I didn’t ask for anything.” Gytha put her hand on his, and when she felt him trembling with cold, her heart twisted inside her, fury and pity and determination mixing into something new.

“I’m not going to beg you, Alexander; you already agreed to choose me, and I will hold you to your word.

” She met his gaze again and said softly, “You were good to me. Let me be good to you. ”

He nodded jerkily.

The door opened and one of the goblins peeked in. “It is time.” His voice was like broken glass and ice. He opened the door wider. “Come now.”