Page 29

T WENTY - S EVEN

ESTRELLA

The glowing green waters of the Acheron were so different from the Styx that it took my breath away. It looked the way I imagined poison would, shimmering in a vial and just waiting for someone to ingest it. I swallowed as I approached the shore, turning my attention to the Morrigan who were to serve as my guide.

In spite of Medusa’s presence, I wouldn’t shun the Goddess who had shown me loyalty and honesty. I didn’t know that I could trust a word out of Medusa’s mouth, her own self-interest a mystery to me.

Perhaps she really did care for me when I’d been a baby, maybe she’d wanted me when I’d been born.

I had no doubt she would quickly come to realize that whatever she’d imagined for my life and my upbringing hadn’t been the case, and the woman I’d become had been a product of those acts.

They could argue that my life had made me stronger, but that was bullshit.

I’d made me stronger. I’d survived what was done to me and come out the other side in spite of the hardships of my life, not because of them. Suffering to gain strength was a ridiculous excuse crafted by abusers and the privileged.

“What’s the Acheron?” I asked the three-fold Goddess.

Badb stared down at the green waters sadly, wringing her hands in front of her. She picked at her black nails that were sharpened into talons, sighing before she met my eye.

“The River of Pain,” she said finally, earning a scoff from me.

“Of course it is,” I said, rolling my eyes as I took another step closer to the water. I’d endured enough pain in my life, and I was so fucking tired of it being the test for everything.

Medusa stepped up beside me, taking my hand in hers as I snapped to look at her. Her bespeckled green eyes met mine, a silent plea in them. “The river will use your worst fears against you,” she said, the warning resonating between us. “Fear is your worst enemy. Fear makes pain and suffering so much worse. If you can numb your mind to the agony of those fears, you will be able to numb your body some as well so that you can overcome whatever the river deems your challenge to be. I have seen people persevere through burning, drowning, being skinned alive—”

I drew my hand back from hers, my gaze sharpening. “You know nothing about me if you think being skinned alive or burned could be my greatest fear. You cannot fear what you’ve already overcome,” I said, earning a twisted brow in response. I smiled, the bitter expression feeling callous even to me. “You may have given birth to me thirteen lives ago, but that doesn’t mean you know a single thing about me now. I don’t fear anything they could do to me ,” I said, staring down at the green water.

Only those who hadn’t suffered could underestimate what the greatest pains were.

I dove into the water, swimming through the green, cloudy fluid as every corner of my body throbbed. It felt like being struck with lightning, like tiny fires exploding on my skin and shriveling me into pieces.

I swam for the bottom anyway, continuing on even when my body wanted to stop and my muscles locked in agony.

Sinking deeper, I let the river take me down.