Page 6 of Small Town Beast 2: Saverin’s Duet (Sins of the South)
TWO
TANYA
“WE WON!” Gwen screamed at the top of her lungs. “WE WON THE LOTTERY!”
Her friend Tanya Weaver said nothing at all. At the revelation Tanya had collapsed on Gwen’s couch. Her fist still gripped the lottery ticket. Tanya’s brown skin could never be said to turn pale, but catching her own reflection in a bejeweled mirror showed the white face of a haint.
Gwen dropped to her knees and hollered at the top of her lungs, “THANK YOU, JESUS! AMEN!”
Tanya just didn’t understand it. It had to be wrong. It was wrong. The people had simply made a mistake.
“Tanya,” came a voice to her left. Tanya ignored it. The fact of the matter was that stuff like that didn’t actually happen to people like her. She was a broke waitress from Southwest Virginia. Struggle was her middle name. This was actually, for real, crazy.
“Tanya!”
Tanya looked at the ticket for the fiftieth time.
5, 10, 12, 62, 34, 8. It was a miracle, but it was also a big mistake.
In the first place, she hadn’t even bought this ticket herself.
So there was no point getting her hopes up.
There was probably some law about being gifted a lottery ticket versus buying it yourself.
The world was like that. It got your hopes up just to shoot them into the sun.
So, she had to do the right thing and give the ticket back to its rightful owner.
No point working herself up over nothing.
No point pretending that she was actually worth– how much was it again?
The numbers flashed on the TV. A smiling hostess said, If you think you’ve won, contact our Virginia office at…
Tanya shuddered. I will not throw up.
“Tanya. You alright?” somebody asked.
“I have to give this ticket back to Gwendolyn,” Tanya said out loud, speaking for the first time in twenty minutes. “Here, Gwen. Congratulations. I’m really happy for you.”
Gwen, her boyfriend Rory, and Tanya’s boyfriend Saverin, all stared at her like she’d grown a second head. Gwen stopped leaping around the trailer. She drew herself up to her full height. “Tanya Weaver, what the hell are you talking about?” she demanded.
“I’m giving you back your ticket.”
Gwen slapped her hand away. Hard. “I already have a ticket. Remember? Now you listen to me, Tanya. I gave you that ticket ‘cause I wanted us both to win. I’m not so greedy I’d demand it back just to double my winnings. What the hell do you take me for? We won together, fair and square.”
Tanya burst into tears.
Strong arms wrapped around her– that would be Saverin. She didn’t know up from down anymore.
“Oh darlin’, my darlin’, it’s okay,” he said. He sat on Gwen’s couch and pulled her into his arms. Saverin smelled amazing– like smoke and leaves and a wild southern wind. He was warm, too, which helped because Gwen’s trailer was freezing.
“I don’t b-believe it,” Tanya blubbered into his chest.
“Oh honey I’m so happy for you, but don’t cry, don’t cry,” Saverin said.
Gwen started crying too, and so did her boyfriend Rory, which made Gwen stop crying and shout, “Get us some drinks, Rory, bejeezus! We’re all gonna get drunk!”
“That’s a great idea,” said Saverin. “But secure those damned tickets before you go painting your noses.”
Tanya stuffed her ticket in her bra immediately.
“R-right.” I will get drunk, she decided.
But then she remembered something. An argument she and Saverin had been having just a couple hours before.
Reality circled back. Nevermind. She wiped the tears off her cheeks.
“I’ll just have some orange juice, Gwen. ”
Rory halted in his tracks. “Did she just say she wanted an orange juice?”
“Ignore her,” Gwen sniffed, mopping her eyes on her T-shirt. “Tanya’s being funny right now. Maybe it’s shock. Next she’ll start speakin’ Chinese.”
“No! It’s not shock. I just remembered I might be…you know…” Tanya gestured to Saverin.
“What, he won’t let you drink?” Gwen said incredulously.
“No! Of course not. I might be pregnant.”
Gwen screamed. “TANYA! TANYA! YOU’RE PREGNANT!”
“Lord’s sake, girl,” Saverin snapped.
Tanya swished her hands in front of her in a no-no-no expression. “I might be. I’m not sure. I couldn’t get a damned pregnancy test.” She avoided Saverin’s eye. “It was like trying to find hen’s teeth down in Rowanville. So I just can’t take the risk.”
“Golly, Gwen’s got a whole drawer of pregnancy tests,” Rory said.
“Those are used pregnancy tests.”
“Why the hell do you keep— nevermind.” Saverin’s scarred face twisted in either horror or amusement.
“I got a new one, Tanya, fresh in the box!” Gwen offered. “So we could shoot this dog between the eyes right now. Let me go get it.”
Am I dreaming? Wondered Tanya as Gwen whirled her into the bathroom, followed by a tense Saverin. She stumbled over a pair of stripper heels, and then again over a very fat orange cat. Objects passed her vision in a blur. She could hear her own breathing.
“Don’t be nervous,” Saverin told her, putting a hand on her waist. “We got this together, alright?”
“Rory,” Gwen ordered, watching the couple thoughtfully. “Go mix us some drinks, will ya?”
Rory plodded off and then Gwen, in a rare moment of perceptiveness, went after him to give Tanya some space.
Tanya twisted the door left and right, trying to pull it open. Saverin pushed it. It opened.
“Oh,” she said. “Thanks.”
“Tanya,” Saverin tried to say before she went in. “I just want you to know that—”
Cutting him off, she ducked into the narrow bathroom and shut the door.
Time condensed into that moment. Every decision she had ever made was bearing fruit; would it be sweet, or bitter? INSTANT PREGNANCY TEST, read the box.
Here goes nothing. Tanya opened it with trembling hands. She didn’t know what she wanted in that moment. Another child? A child I couldn’t afford. But Saverin promised he’d take care of me. Of us. She remembered again: I won’t even need Saverin. I have all the money in the world now.
So what did she want?
A brother or a sister for her baby Amari, who had been kidnapped? Who might still be alive…or not? Amari’s replacement , a nasty voice said in her ear.
“Shit!” She dropped the box and the contents exploded all over the linoleum. Thank God the test was wrapped, anyway.
“Everything alright?” Saverin asked through the door.
Yes , Tanya nearly said. Yes, I’m fine, I can handle it.
But maybe it was time to stop pretending she could take on everything herself. She took a deep breath. “Can you come in here?”
Saverin was through the door in a heartbeat. The bathroom suddenly became much tinier. He nearly cracked his head on the fixture. “Ah, fuck. What does it say? Are you— are we—”
“I can’t open the wrapper, I’m shaking too much. I haven’t taken it yet,” she told him.
“Here, let me, darlin’.”
He squatted on Gwen’s bathroom floor while Tanya sat on the covered toilet, massaging her aching temples. The bathroom was surprisingly clean. Quiet. Safe. Maybe she could just stay in here all night with Saverin. Or possibly, forever.
“My head is killing me,” she admitted.
“Maybe your friend’s got some Tylenol in here.”
“No– let’s do this first. Give me that stick.”
Saverin hesitated before ripping the small package open.
“I need to say something first. Just so you know, this won’t change anything for me,” he said.
“Everything I said earlier tonight stands. You’ll never have to worry about a thing if you’re with me, Tanya.
I have land, a house, and money. Plenty of each.
You and our kids– Amari too– will be taken care of without touching one cent of your winnings. Alright?”
She whispered, “Don’t make me cry again.”
“I don’t ever want to make you cry.” He opened the wrapper and handed her the stick. “Fire away.”
“Could you turn around?”
“Sure,” he grinned. He stood up and gave her his back.
Tanya fumbled with her pants, the toilet, and the stick. “Is this the craziest night ever, or what?”
“It’s up there,” Saverin agreed. “Wow, even your pee sounds cute.”
“Shut up.”
Tanya tried not to get pee all over her hands. “Was I supposed to pee into a cup and then dip it?”
“Would it make a difference?”
“Probably not. Okay, that’s all I got.”
Saverin ran a hand through his hair. “What does it say?”
“We have to wait five minutes. I need to wash my hands.”
“Breathe, Tanya.”
“ You breathe.”
Tanya set the test stick down on the cleanest part of the sink and washed her hands. Then they waited, staring at each other.
Back in the living room, Gwen had put on some Shania Twain and was singing along at the top of her voice. The stumpy-tail dog barked outside. A truck backfired in the distance. But the world had shrunk to the tiny bathroom and the space between Tanya and the man who had brought her here.
If I have his baby, what will that mean for Amari? Less time to look for Amari. Less focus on Amari. I already have a son, I don’t need another one.
And yet, a strong part of her wanted this baby with Saverin.
Something joyful could come out of all the hurt.
He had rough edges, but he was a protector and a provider, and any child of his would enjoy his unconditional love.
He would take care of their family as sure as the sun would rise.
He’d shot her ex-boyfriend and stalker dead without hesitation.
He had literally saved her life. He was bad as hell, and that meant something to a girl who had to fight every battle by herself.
She had never met anybody like him. Kind, strong, funny, stubborn.
It’s almost too good to be true. Tanya knew that the hesitation in her heart when it came to Saverin, and her denial of the lottery ticket both came from the same place.
She’d gone through a lot. Some things nobody should ever have to go through.
Things she wouldn’t wish on her worst enemy.
So how could so many blessings come from just a turn of the wheel? It was impossible.