Page 6

Cian

I hadn’t slept in two nights. Ok… so I’d slept, of course I had. Between training camp and the start of the preseason, I needed the rest, but I hadn’t slept well. My first attempt at being Blair’s friend had been a bust, and I had no idea why.

So, I was going to speak to an expert.

I let myself into Mia and Oscar’s house, praying she was home and could put that fancy psychology degree to use and help me.

“Mia.”

“In here.” The reply came from the living room. I dragged myself through the house and found her curled up on the sofa. She smiled in welcome and put aside her book. “What’s up?”

I groaned. Crossing the room, I flopped beside her, dropping my head in her lap. Her arms floated above me, wavering slightly as though unsure where to rest.

“What are you doing?” she asked.

“I feel bad. I need comfort. And your brain.”

“My brother is literally touch averse. Oscar’s the cuddly one. Can’t you find someone else to do this?”

I probably could, but the fact that Mia was not only trained as a psychologist, but also hadn’t had a great upbringing gave me hope she’d be able to help me figure this out. She settled her hand lightly on my shoulder, resigning herself to the contact.

“Where is Oscar, by the way?” I decided to push my luck, taking her other hand and encouraging her to scratch my head. It felt nice, and when she continued to do it after I took my hand away, I let out a shuddering breath. I’d always been a touchy kind of person; it was another reason Oscar and I always got on so well. A bro hug could heal all manner of ills. Human contact was critical to wellbeing.

“He’s helping his mom for the weekend.” Oscar’s mom was awesome, even if his sisters were a little scary. Tia wasn’t too bad, she’d been a soccer queen before her injury, but Elle was downright terrifying when she was in a mood. Usually, Mia wouldn’t miss the opportunity to hang out with all of them.

“Why didn’t you go with him?”

“I have to work.”

I smirked, unable to help myself. “Oh yeah, how is it being a madam?” The first time Oscar and I had met Mia, she was dancing in a burlesque revue. There was nothing seedy about the venues Mia performed in, but it was still fun to tease her about it.

“I’m managing a burlesque show, not a brothel.”

“Same difference.”

“Get out.” Neither of us moved.

“Don’t be like that. Oscar would love me in my time of need.”

Mia huffed and started running her nails through my hair. Hell yes, this was nice.

“He’ll be home next week.”

“But I need comfort now! Why is she like this?”

“Okay, let’s start with a name.”

Oh yeah. As briefly as possible, I ran over the details of the night before, and Blair’s general dislike of me. I’d thought things were going really well until they just… weren’t.

“You can’t make everyone like you. You may just have to accept she’s one of the ones who you can’t win over.”

Something turned in my gut, and I scowled at the idea of not seeing Blair smile again.

“There has to be something. Like, how did I mess up last night? I thought it was going well.”

Mia mulled it over for a moment. The gentle scrape of her nails over my scalp soothed me, and I thought back to when I picked Blair up the night before. That dress had been killer, hugging her curves in a way that bordered on obscene. I hadn’t lied when I said she looked good.

“Okay, I have to ask something before we keep talking about this.”

I shifted my head to see her better, silently cursing when she stopped the stroking. Her brows were furrowed; her bottom lip caught between her teeth.

“Oscar told me about the bet with Doyle.” Her voice dropped as she said his name. As much as the team disliked him, the PASs — partners and spouses — hated him more.

“Are you trying to get close to her just to win it?”

I sat up so quickly I almost fell off the sofa. Whipping around to face her, I studied her face closely. Did she really think so little of me?

“I don’t care about that stupid bet. I only agreed so he would shut up because Blair didn’t need to hear him running his mouth about her. I want to be her friend, but she hates me, and I don’t know why.”

“Why do you think it’s so important to you that the two of you are friends?”

What kind of question was that?

“We work together. It’s important to get along with the people you work with.”

Mia snorted, then covered her nose with a hand, silver eyes dancing with something close to amusement. “Well, that’s not true. For one thing, no one gets along with Chet. You all barely tolerate him, and you play together just fine. For another thing, you’ve told me that Blair is always professional in the workplace. Your social media profile is as well put together as anyone else in the team’s. So try again. Why do you think it’s important?”

“She’s smart, she’s funny, she knows stats better than anyone I’ve ever met. The first time I met her, I felt like I already knew her, which was really weird because it was hate at first sight for her.” Why did it matter so much that she and I were friends? I’d been working for years on my people pleasing tendencies, and clung hard to the mantra stop trying to make everyone like you. You don’t even like everyone . But it was different with Blair. It felt like we should be friends. And I’d tried to give her space. I had. But I was done with just standing back and dealing with it alone.

“Is it possible that you like Blair?” Mia asked gently.

“Of course I like her. That’s why I want to be friends with her.”

She shook her head, an affectionate smile on her face that made me feel like an ignorant kid.

“Cian. Is there a chance you’d like to date Blair, and the hostility is uncomfortable because you want her?”

“I don’t… she’s not…” I huffed. How could I explain this without sounding like a complete asshole. Luckily, this was Mia.

“She’s not conventionally attractive, no. But is that what matters to you? I’ve seen you turn down gorgeous puck bunnies because you care more about other people’s wellbeing than you do about cheap thrills.”

Shit, maybe Mia’s insight was a little more than I could handle. Heat burned up the back of my neck, and I shifted in my seat.

“You’re a good-looking guy who is used to being surrounded by good-looking people. But looks fade, and what’s most important is who you are at your core. I love Oscar because he’s a cinnamon roll of a human being who understands me like no one else. He’s a proud feminist who is terrified of birds to the point of being ridiculous, and I know that there’s nothing he wouldn’t do to make sure I’m happy and safe every day of our lives. The fact that he’s six foot four inches of muscle with a pretty face is nice, but it was never the reason I chose him.”

I’d never bought into the puck bunny culture because it felt transactional. Having a beautiful girl hanging off you for the night so she could be seen with someone considered a celebrity, and in exchange getting off with a stranger at the end of the night. It felt hollow. Cheap and nasty and nothing like what I wanted for the future. Did that mean I wanted Blair?

I wasn’t sure because I’d never considered it.

Talk about shallow.

“I think you need to take some time to decide what your motivation is behind all this. If you want to be her friend, act like it. If she doesn’t want that, then respect her boundary. That’s part of being an adult, and it’s unfair to drag her into something just because you want it a certain way. But if you genuinely want to have something more with her…” She trailed off, watching me intently. “Well, you’re Cian O’Leary. I don’t think there’s anything you can’t achieve if you put your mind to it. Just make sure you’re doing it for the right reasons.”

I pushed to my feet, mind churning. I wanted to make a friendship with Blair work. Was that selfish? Probably. But we’d both seemed to have fun at the function until…

“Where do you think I went wrong on Friday? I still can’t work it out.”

Mia glanced up from her book. “Do you know how she got the nickname Duckie?”

I’d assumed it was a term of endearment by her family. The image of Blair sitting in my truck flashed through my mind along with her heartbreaking words. It’s okay, she hated me first . Shit.

“I thought it was like how ducks always look calm on the water, but underneath they’re paddling like hell. Blair is so capable that she never seems ruffled, even though her job gets crazy a lot of the time.”

Mia shrugged, giving me a soft smile before she dropped her eyes to her book. I knew I’d been dismissed, but she couldn’t do all my thinking for me.

I had to figure this out on my own.