Page 3 of Sins of His Wrath (Myth of Omega: Wrath #2)

CHAPTER THREE

N aya returned to her rooms and carefully reattached magic to her wound. She hadn’t been sure how long it would last, but it’d failed quicker than she hoped. After washing the blood away, she applied a thick wad of bandage cloth. Papa had arranged a meeting with the other rulers, and now that the generals had seen the damage, she didn’t need to subject anyone else to the sight of it.

Just as she was about to leave, Mama entered.

“I was just checking my wound,” Naya said, heading toward her. “But I’m coming now.”

“No, you’re not, Naya.” Mama’s voice was calm and quiet. “I told Papa that you won’t be coming.”

Naya’s face dropped. “Mama!”

Mama lifted her palm. “I know you want to go, but you need rest.”

“But Papa needs me to?—”

“Papa will be fine without you for a few hours.”

“No, Mama. I need to make sure?—”

“Nayara.” Mama took both of Naya’s hands in her own and placed them on her chest, speaking slow and measured. “You just escaped from brutal captivity and wrangled with white fire while half unconscious. You’re currently enduring a life-threatening wound, you have burn marks all over your body, and you spent most of the day strategizing for a war unlike any we’ve seen before. You haven’t eaten, drank, bathed, slept, or even sat quietly for an hour. Take time to recover from your ordeal.”

Naya shook the words off, barely hearing them through the desperation that gripped her. “I’m all right. I just needed to help prepare?—”

“Your brothers and your sister have been trying to find a moment to see how you are. Ka’ari contacted us every day you were gone to see if you were back. Auntie Vic and your cousins were beside themselves the entire time you were gone too—they’d appreciate time to talk with you. You cannot travel the whole empire and meet the other rulers when you haven’t taken care of yourself or even spoken to your family.”

Irritation sparked through Naya. Didn’t Mama understand what was coming? “Mama,” she said forcefully. “That can wait.”

Mama tilted her head, her warm eyes on Naya. “Do you intend to go into the most dangerous battle of our lives without having spoken to your siblings who have been terrorized for weeks by thoughts that they may never see you again?”

Naya hesitated, anxiety jangling in her joints while a deep yearning gripped her heart. Every minute that passed was a minute closer to Akoro’s invasion, and yet she couldn’t ignore that she had desperately missed them, too. Mama seemed to sense her anxiety.

“Everything will go ahead the way you and Papa planned, but to execute it, you need to be rested,” she said. “If the Sy Dynasty arrives before you get caught up, so be it. It’s more important you are prepared for battle. Besides, you look exhausted. You will not reassure our people that we’re ready for war when you look like that and are still in your medical gown,” Mama added, squeezing Naya’s hands.

Glancing down, Naya was shocked to see that she hadn’t even changed her clothes. She met Mama’s gaze, still reluctant. “All right. I can meet Drocan, Idaya and Azarn, and then go on to the meetings, at least.”

Mama squeezed her hands, holding her gaze for a long moment. “Come.” She led Naya through her rooms to her bedroom at the back. “Let’s just sit silently for a moment.”

Naya followed behind her, battling the urge to pull herself from Mama’s hold. She dropped onto the bed and sat while Mama knelt on the floor in front of her. The agitation of doing nothing kept her fidgeting, but at Mama’s direction, she breathed deeply and released the tension that clung so deep within her she didn’t realize she was holding. In that release, her body softened, and exhaustion overtook every part of her—her mind, her chest and deep within her, an exhaustion she’d been pushing down until she escaped. It rushed in, bursting through the barriers she’d erected to keep herself focused, overwhelming her with a flurry of thoughts and emotions. Smothering all of them was a deep sorrow that she didn’t understand, and before she could even wrestle with it, tears were spilling down her cheeks.

Mama pulled her into a tight hug, stroking her back as she murmured and cooed, allowing Naya to sink deeper into the sorrow without having to explain it.

Sobs racked her body, and she buried herself into the comforting hold and familiar scent of her mother. Naya didn’t even know why she was crying, but a heaviness within her carried a raw mix of so many emotions. The main one was relief. She hadn’t even registered how utterly glad she was to be home, how glad she was that the portal worked and that she could see and touch her parents again. But underneath it was a deep sorrow; sorrow for all she had endured, sorrow for what was coming, and sorrow for what she was about to face.

Mama comforted her until the tears ran dry, but when Naya finally lifted her head, the heaviness had lifted and her emotions had calmed. Her mother pulled the nearby chair in front of the bed and sat opposite Naya so they faced each other.

Naya wiped her eyes, suddenly realized the seriousness of Mama’s expression, and her anxiety peaked up slightly again. “What is it, Mama?”

“I need to talk to you about the war, but first, I want to know exactly what happened between you and this Alpha, Naya,” Mama said gently. “You knew I was going to ask, didn’t you?”

Swallowing, Naya nodded, pushing away the immediate pang of embarrassment and frustration. She’d hoped to never even think about it again, let alone talk about it, but of all people, Mama would want to know, and she was in a position to understand.

“Tell me everything,” Mama added, gently. “Do not leave out a single moment.”

Taking a breath, Naya ordered her thoughts. She began at the moment she’d realized Akoro was her mate and continued, recounting every moment between them she could remember, until the point Akoro cut her face. Mama’s expression remained neutral, not indicating what she was thinking.

When she finished speaking, Mama let out a slow breath and her eyes were unfocused in thought. “So he doesn’t know or understand about the Alpha/Omega connection?”

Naya thought back to the way Akoro had talked about Omegas, the way he treated her, the way he had insisted on their connection regardless of her own feelings on the matter. “Not fully. He’s aware of it, but it seems like he only knows fragments of what it means to be an Alpha and Omega couple.”

Mama nodded, watching Naya closely. “How did it feel with him?”

Naya stiffened. “What do you mean?”

“How did it feel? What happened during your heat?”

Naya’s brows inched together, thrown by the question.

“How did he treat you?” Mama clarified.

Naya was silent for a moment, unsure how to answer. “Normal, I think?”

“He looked after you? Fed you and gave you water?”

Naya’s face heated as she nodded.

“Did he sleep next to you when you slept?”

“Yes.”

“Did he hold you?”

Naya dropped her eyes and nodded.

“No one else came into the room? No one else touched you?”

Naya shook her head.

Mama exhaled, as though relieved. “Did anything else happen?”

“Not that I can remember. I-I’ve avoided thinking about it too much.”

“Why?”

Naya’s words came out a little too sharp. “Because I don’t want to. He forced my heat, Mama.”

“You said he stopped his brother from blocking you. That’s different. That means it was always going to happen.”

Naya almost recoiled, her voice hoarse. “That’s what he said.”

Mama leaned forward. “It is important that you don’t misremember what happened or tangle your emotions so hard around the facts that you change them.”

Naya stared at Mama as she leaned back, bewildered by her behavior.

“From what you’ve said,” Mama continued, “he treated you better after your heat—after he realized what you were to him. He treated you more than just his prisoner.”

Naya thought back and then half-shrugged and nodded. That was one way to look at it.

Mama’s gaze held fast on Naya. “And even so, you want to kill him?”

Something jolted in Naya’s gut. “Why wouldn’t I? Look at what he’s planning to do to our empire. He is dangerous and cruel, and he won’t stop until he’s conquered or killed everything we care about. Nothing can be gained from keeping him alive.”

“Even though he is the mate you’ve been looking for?” Mother’s words were sharp now, cutting even. “The mate you’ve been dreaming about? The one you neglected your duties for years to find?”

Fury leaped through Naya. “He is not the mate I have dreamed about!” The wound on her face began to ache. She took a few deep breaths. Calming herself before speaking again, moving her mouth as little as possible. “He may be my true mate, but he’s not the mate I wished for.”

“How could you possibly know that?”

Naya frowned, confused. “What do you mean?” She gestured to her face. “Look at me! This is how I know.”

“Do you think you’re the first Omega whose true mate is someone she despised? Someone who hurt her repeatedly? Wake up, Naya. We don’t get to choose these things.”

“Does that mean I shouldn’t want to kill him?” she shot back.

“Of course not.” Mama leaned forward, her eyes blazing. “Believe me, I want him fucking dead for everything he has done to you. But if he is your mate, then I’m on the outside. We all are. That’s how it works. I would be a terrible mother to you if I don’t make sure you understand before you kill him.”

“Understand what?”

Mama leaned back, sighing. “I should have rid you of your foolish, childish notions a long time ago, Naya. That is solely my fault, but I didn’t think we would be back here… back at a time when….” Mama swallowed, her eyes unfocused. “The Known Lands has become so much more than it used to be—it’s almost unrecognizable in that regard. I’d just hoped….” Her voice petered out and her gaze lowered.

An uncomfortable nervousness jangled in Naya’s stomach in the silence that followed. It suddenly occurred to her that Mama had been acting strangely since she’d told them about what happened in the healing room. “Mama? What is it?”

Mama lifted her head, and their eyes locked again. She spoke slowly and carefully. “Every time an Omega comes to me for refuge, I make sure she understands what she will be giving up if she decides not to try to make things work with her true mate.”

“I know,” Naya said irritably. “You taught me all the processes you go through, Mama. But this isn’t like that. I know what I’m giving up.”

“How can you when you’ve been completely in denial about him this whole time?”

The words were like a slap to her already injured face. “What do you mean?”

Mama’s eyes never left Naya’s face. “You thought your true mate would be exactly what you expected him to be, Naya. You were never open to anything less.” She gripped Naya’s hands harder. “But even if you’d met him in a pairing meeting, there was never a guarantee that he would be a suitable mate to you, or even a decent Alpha with the morals and outlook that you value. It didn’t guarantee he would have an agreeable nature or be suited to rule alongside you. It didn’t mean he would even be someone who could support you and give you the confidence you were desperately seeking. You built those expectations into something enormous—something that crippled you, and now I need to make sure they’re not still clouding you.”

“Clouding me from what?”

“From the reality of what being with your true mate actually means. He is your enemy, yes, but he is the only one who you’ll ever be your true self with.” Mama held her gaze for a moment, a strange struggle happening on her face. Then she straightened. “That forest that you love so much, the one you retreat into every day? That is the forest I flew over to escape your father.”

Something jolted in Naya’s stomach. She stared at Mama, dread closing in around her. “Escape?”

Mama nodded. “The window of his old bedroom overlooks that forest. It was the first time I’d used magic to carry me like that, and it was incredibly dangerous to attempt at that height. I was terrified, but I had to risk it. I was willing to die trying.”

Naya’s mind raced at the implications of what she was saying. Mama escaped Papa from his bedroom? That meant… She stared at Mama, seeing the reluctant truth in her expression. Her breathing became unsteady as she tried to come to terms with what Mama was saying. “Papa… kept you captive?”

Mama held Naya’s gaze. “Our relationship began similar to many of the Omegas that come to us for guidance.”

“And you said nothing to us?” Naya exclaimed in disbelief. Did that mean everything she and her siblings had thought about her parents was a lie?

“It’s no one’s business but ours,” Mama said sternly. “What happens between an Omega and her Alpha cannot be judged by anyone on the outside. There are a multitude of things that play a part in that connection. You know that.”

Naya breathed heavily as her thoughts raced. She did know that. But she’d never thought…. “If our father is a… an….” She could barely say the word. “…abuser.” Her eyes welling with tears at just the idea of it. “We should know, Mama.”

“Does he seem like an abuser to you?” Mama asked.

Naya’s eyes lowered. Of course he didn’t.

“What happened between us before you were born changed us both. We first found each other before we even understood anything about ourselves.” Mama pressed her lips together. “That is a phase many Alpha and Omega relationships go through, and if they survive it, it strengthens them. The experience helped shape me into someone who can understand what other Omegas go through when they suffer at the hands of their mate, and suffer the unbearable guilt for still yearning for that mate. I’m grateful for that experience. But what happened back then has nothing to do with your relationship with your father now. No one can say he isn’t an exceptional husband and father.”

Naya frowned. “But… did he apologize? How did he?—”

“That’s between us, Naya,” Mama said gently. “And it made us stronger than I ever would have thought. I’m just trying to explain that our relationship didn’t begin the way you see us now. We overcame a mountainous challenge, learned what was most important to us, and discovered how to be together before you were born. Being true mates doesn’t mean you are automatically perfectly suited in every way, yet you have based your expectation of your mate on exactly that by, focusing on your father and my happy years together and not how we started.”

An inkling of dread fluttering into Naya’s stomach. She clenched her teeth, embracing the sharp ache it caused her face. “So you think I should reconsider if I have a future with that monster?”

“No.” Mama shook her head firmly. “That isn’t my main reason for talking to you about this, no. If you truly believe your Alpha deserves to die for everything that he’s done to you, no one will argue with that. But you know more than any other that more than half of the Omegas that come to seek sanctuary with us return to their alphas happily. I wouldn’t be a decent mother, or Omega, or empress if I neglected to point that out to my own daughter.”

“This isn’t that,” Naya said, stiff with annoyance. “This Alpha is unlike any other we know. If an Omega had come to us after being treated the way that Akoro treated me, we’d never send her back to him without some sort of intervention to ensure his behavior changed.”

Mama sighed. “What do you think I’m trying to do right now?”

“It sounds like you’re telling me to reconsider wanting him dead because I will never have the relationship I dreamed of if he dies. I have already come to terms with that, Mama. I have already mourned the loss of the mate I thought I’d have.”

“Your childish dream of your Alpha is not what we’re dealing with here.” Mama leaned forward, her eyes burning bright. “I’m talking about the reality of a hardened Alpha male who has his own thoughts and feelings and history. An Alpha who has decided that our empire owes him something and that he has a right to invade us. A formidable king not afraid to take on the Lox and her allies, who is not afraid of your father, and who is skilled in warfare and a loved leader of his people. He has shown he is willing to do whatever it takes to get what he wants, and he’s smart because we didn’t know he was coming. None of that speaks to his ability or desire to be a good mate to you.”

“Does that matter?” Naya shot back. “Does being a good mate to me cancel out all those other things?”

Mama inclined her head, lifting a shoulder. “For some Omegas, it does, but for most it helps to put things into perspective.”

“What do you mean?”

“If there is any part of him that could treat you well, any part of him you have misunderstood, then you owe it yourself to understand him. I know it’s hard when he’s hurt you, but?—”

Naya glared at her. “Mama, a war is looming?—”

“That’s why I have to mention it now, Naya,” Mama snapped. “That’s why you’re the only one who can do your own intervention. If the war happens, it won’t change that he is still yours. Even if you bond with Lonn, even if we defeat this Akoro, you’ll always know that he was supposed to be yours.”

Naya shook her head, not wanting to hear that. “No, Mama.”

“I’m not saying you must be with him—I was given that order once, and it is cruel. I am saying, find out if he is really the mate you want, and if he isn’t, you kill him.”

A jolt went through Naya’s body, but Mama’s eyes remained firm on her.

“If he is the man you think he is, you should be the one to kill him, Naya. But now that you’ve found him, you will feel that loss.”

“And what if I don’t care?” Naya shot back. “What if I’m happy to have that loss?”

Mama held her gaze. “To even say that so casually, I’m not sure you understand the kind of loss I’m talking about. It’s significant.” She sighed. “If you decide to give him a chance after everything, it’s not unusual and no one will blame you. Do you understand? I want you to think clearly about this.”

Naya forced herself to calm and think about what Mama was saying. Of course, it pained her to realize that all this time, her parents’ relationship had had a much darker start to it than she’d thought. And yet, with what she knew about the treatment of Omegas at that time, it seemed obvious it would have. It was also obvious now that what she’d been looking for probably didn’t exist. How could any male truly understand her position and the pressures of what she faced? Still, Akoro’s treatment of her was crueler than anything the Omegas in her lifetime had suffered. And she couldn’t forgive that. “I understand what you’re saying, Mama, but it doesn’t change anything. He is cruel and only focused on his violent takeover of our land. I know we are mates, but even if I were to consider it, I don’t see why he deserves it.”

“It is not him that deserves it, it is you!” Mama said, her voice raising. She paused for a moment, eyes locked on Naya, chest heaving. “You’re my daughter, Naya, and you deserve happiness. I don’t want you to kill your chance at having it until we are absolutely certain it cannot be had! I’m partly to blame for your expectations. I was foolish too. I believed the hardship for Omegas was over, and that your Alpha would be someone more like Lonn, because I couldn’t see how the peace and equality we have enjoyed for so long could create Alphas as terrible as before. But we don’t get to choose, Naya. We never get to choose. If you don’t know how he truly treats his mate, then you don’t know him yet. So I have to be honest, Naya, I have to for your sake, just like I tell every Omega who wants to escape their Alpha. Decide with intention instead of closing the door forever out of anger or vengeance.”

Naya pressed her lips together. “I am, Mama. I assure you. What else did you want to say about the war?”

Mama settled back into her chair, her manner shifting to a calm, brisk one. “The Southern Lands might be the ones who had something to do with whatever accusations the Sy Dynasty have.”

“What?” Naya frowned. “How?”

“One of their leaders visited the unknown Lands for an extensive period over sixty years ago. It’s possible they did some kind of damage there.”

Naya’s eyes widened. “How do you know this?”

“About twenty years ago, your friend Ka’ari’s mama went there for a brief time. That’s how we first found out about it. She’d found someone who’d been there before.”

Naya’s heartbeat increased. Akoro’s accusations weren’t lies? “What did they do there?”

“I don’t know the details, but she described it like a desert, the same way you did.”

“That’s why it’s important I attend this meeting with the rulers, Mama,” Naya said, her voice a little too harsh. “I need to know what they know.”

Mama’s brow inched up. “Is whatever we learn in that meeting going to stop the invasion?”

Naya hesitated. Of course Akoro would still want to invade no matter what they learned in that meeting. He’d insinuated that Naya already knew why he was invading.

“I noticed you let Papa brief the generals instead of doing it yourself,” Mama said, titling her head. “Why?”

Naya blinked, caught off guard by the change of topic. “Umm. I don’t know. I suppose it never occurred to me to address them myself.”

“Why?” Mama leaned forward, looking at Naya curiously. “You were so adamant that you want to lead the war. I thought you would’ve preferred to brief them.”

Naya opened her mouth, but she wasn’t sure what to say. Papa had always done it.

“This plan you’ve made, is it the plan you would’ve made if you hadn’t been kidnapped?”

Naya blinked again, surprised by the question. “I would defend our empire with everything we have regardless of my kidnapping, yes.”

“Even if we are at fault?”

“We aren’t. And if what you say is true, then it’s the Southern Lands who are responsible.”

Mama shrugged. “But they are our allies. We stand with them, don’t we? Even when they make mistakes?”

Naya narrowed her eyes, unsure what point Mama was making. “Do you not like the plan?”

“The plan is great, Naya.” Mama pulled her lips in, shaking her head as though she was trying to find the right words. “But this doesn’t feel like you. It feels like anger and revenge and hurt.”

Naya bristled.

Mama held up her hand, speaking again before Naya could say anything. “I’m not saying you’re not capable, Naya. I’ve watched you develop your skills in this area since you were seven. You’ve studied more war history and strategy than anyone your age. But you are tired, and angry, and in pain, and probably hungry… and this plan doesn’t feel like you. You never usually go on the offensive, not when your side could be the true instigator.”

Anger roiled up in Naya. “This is real life, Mama, not a strategy game.”

Mama’s shrug was casual and careful. “I just thought that your rule would look different from your father’s, especially when you have an advantage in this situation that he doesn’t.”

Naya’s brow lowered. “An advantage? Like what?”

Mama gave her a knowing look. “He’s your mate, Naya.”

Naya stared at Mama for a long moment before she finally grasped what she was trying to say. “That doesn’t mean anything to him,” she said firmly. “The way he treated me?—“

“—was as a prisoner,” Mama finished. “A hostile prisoner from a land that caused his problems. You don’t know how he would treat a guest or an ally. You’re his mate so you are uniquely qualified to consider all options in ways no one else can. You have more sway over him than you think.”

“I’m telling you, Mama.” Naya’s eyes flashed. “I have nothing over him. He used me and took from me every time.”

“No, not every time,” Mama said softly. “Most men would’ve been happy for you to shut up and disengage as long as they were getting sex. He didn’t like when you did that.”

Heat spread all over Naya like wildfire, and her head started to feel heavy. “He… he wanted the Omega, not me.”

Mama was silent for a long moment, observing Naya. “I know you’re tired. Just think about it, Naya. As long as you’ve thought about all options, I know you won’t make decisions that don’t align with the leader you’re destined to be. But if you’re going to finally step into your role to rule, it needs to be your rule, not your father’s.”

Naya exhaled, annoyed. Mama was making everything complicated. “Papa is an experienced leader, Mama. He would tell me if he thought the plan wasn’t right.”

“This plan is right for him, Naya.” Mama’s smile was almost sad. “Someone took Papa’s firstborn from right under his nose and hurt her, and he couldn’t find her.” Mama leaned forward, bracing her elbows on her knees. “The Sy Dynasty needs to pay for that.”

Naya stared at her, horror prickling at her. Papa would get himself killed with that attitude. “Why are you telling me this now? Why didn’t you say anything when we were planning?”

“Because I agree with you that you should lead us in this war, Naya, and I didn’t want to undermine that. But I want to you do it your way. I want you to use your intelligence and knowledge, find a solution for the empire—but you can’t if you’re angry and hurting.”

Naya left out a shaky breath. She couldn’t deny she was angry, and she couldn’t see how not to be. “Maybe this is my way.”

Mama smiled. “I know you’re more uncomfortable with death than your father, Naya, especially if it can be avoided. If you think this plan is best, then forge ahead. But it’s not just the Lox that will be under your command, it will be our allies’ armies—the same allies that potentially caused this problem. We owe it to our people that when you step into your role as leader, you show them how you will do things, not your Papa. Otherwise, their deaths will haunt you, too.”

Naya didn’t know what to say about that—her head was swimming with everything that had been said.

Mama gestured to her bed. “You need sleep, Naya. We’ll talk again when you wake.”

Naya blinked rapidly, and with the emotional weight dissipating, the pull of exhaustion was strong.

“I will stay here and watch over your wound,” Mama said, rising to pat Naya’s pillow. “Just in case the magic fails while you sleep.”

Naya hesitated, but her mind was churning, and she couldn’t make sense of it. She got into bed, and Mama tucked the blankets around her and stroked her hair until she settled.

When she closed her eyes, memories of Akoro crawled into her mind and she didn’t have the energy to push them away. She remembered the way he had cuddled her in her nest, his urgency to pull her out of her depressed slumber, the perfect joy of those days with him after the visit to the forest. Pushing the memories away, Naya sunk into darkness, too exhausted to continue thinking about him. The next time she saw him, he would be dead or dying, and nothing about their personal connection would change that. It was too late—he’d done too much, and now he needed to pay.