Page 5

CHAPTER 5

DECLAN

T he car engine growls as I drive through Dublin's back streets, taking a route, no one expects. Every few minutes, I check the rearview mirror. No tails yet.

"Where are you taking us?" Maeve asks from the back seat, her arms wrapped around Conor.

"Somewhere the Russians can't find you."

"Russians?"

I glance at her in the mirror. "That's who's after us. Ryan Byrne mentioned them at the wake—they're moving in on Donovan territory. Testing boundaries. Those thugs did not speak English."

My safe house is on the outskirts of the city, tucked away behind high walls and a biometric gate. I use facial recognition to open up and drive through, closing it behind us. The place looks abandoned from the outside—exactly how I want it.

"This is yours?" Maeve asks as I park in the garage.

"Bought it years ago under an alias. No one knows about it."

"Not even your brothers?"

"Not even them." Some secrets are just for me, my family can’t always be trusted.

I usher them inside, flipping on lights to reveal sparse furnishings and bare walls. The place isn't pretty, but it has reinforced doors, security cameras, and bulletproof windows.

"There are two bedrooms upstairs," I say. "The kitchen has food. Bathroom has towels."

Conor stares at me, his green eyes—my eyes—wide. He hides behind Maeve, peeking around her hip.

"Are you a policeman?" he asks.

I look at Maeve, not sure what she's told him about me.

"No," I say. "I'm... an old friend of your mom's."

"Why did those men break our windows? Are they going to get in trouble? I broke a window at school once and dad a detention."

"Conor," Maeve interrupts, "why don't you go upstairs and pick a bedroom?"

"But Mom?—"

"Now, please."

He trudges up the stairs, looking back at us. The kid is smart. He knows we're hiding something. I always knew when the adults in my life were bullshitting me, we think kids are dumb. They are not.

When he's out of earshot, Maeve turns on me, fury in her eyes.

"This is what I was afraid of. The shitshow that is your family dragging death to my front door. I do not want any part of this shit, Declan. What the ever-loving fuck is going on?"

"Our door," I correct. "Our son."

"He doesn't even know who you are. Fuck off with the ‘our’."

Her words are like a kick upside the head when you’re waiting for a punch in the gut, they knock me sideways.

"You need to tell him."

"I don’t need to do anything, and you will keep your yap shut. When he’s ready to know what a monumental fuck up his father is I will tell him."

I move to the window, checking the street. "You might not have time to wait for being ready. Those men came for him. They probably knew I had a kid before I did."

"How could they? You've been gone for seven years. They followed you."

"I don't know how they knew. But I am going to find out."

She rubs her arms, fear replacing anger. "What do they want?"

"God knows? My family has beef with everyone, I am back, it's a way to rattle Cormac."

Her eyes fill with tears. "I hate this. I hate that you're back and bringing this chaos with you. I was doing fine without you."

"Were you?"

She looks away. "Just go back, go back wherever the fuck you were and stay there, please."

I step closer, breathing in her scent. Vanilla and flowers. Seven years and she still smells the same.

"You're not safe anymore. Now it's my job to keep you safe."

"How? By hiding us in this prison? By bringing Russian thugs to my front door?"

I shake my head. "By eliminating the threat."

Her eyes widen. "What does that mean?"

"It means I'm going to find out who targeted you and make sure they never get a chance to try again."

"Of course, Declan will solve the problem with violence. It's in your fucking blood isn't it."

"It always was."

We stare at each other, the truth sucking the air out of the room. I'm still what my father tried to make me—a weapon. I just aim myself at willing targets now.

"I'm going out," I tell her. "Lock the doors behind me. The alarm code is 5729. Don't open for anyone, not even me. I can, and will let myself back in."

"Where are you going?"

"To see my brother. Cormac needs to know what's happening."

She looks toward the stairs where Conor disappeared. "You can't tell your family about him. Don’t you fucking dare, Declan."

"I have to."

"No! The Donovan’s will corrupt him, take him from me. I won't let that happen. I will be the one killing people if they try take him."

I move closer, unable to resist touching her. I brush my fingers against her cheek. "He is a Donovan. But I swear to you, I'll protect him. I am not like them, I left so I didn't have to be."

She pulls away from my touch. "Then why come back at all?"

"You know why."

"Your father dying isn't a reason, you hated him. I bet you danced on his grave, or spit on it." She’s not wrong, his death was a relief. That stoke was too good of a way for him to go— I wish he’d suffered.

I shrug. "Maybe I felt something else pulling me home."

"Home." She laughs bitterly. "Dublin was never your home. Not really. You couldn't wait to get away."

"That's not true. I didn't want to leave, I left to protect you. Cormac sent me away to protect me, he knew what would happen if I stayed."

"Protect me?" Her voice rises. "You abandoned me!"

"My father was going to kill me if I didn't leave!" The words burst out before I can stop them. "He was going to kill me, and you. So, I planned to kill him, and Cormac stopped me, he sent me away. I was lucky, he's killed siblings for less." Once upon a time there were seven of us, we’re down to four.

She steps back, shock on her face. "What?"

I run a hand through my hair. "He found out about us. Said I was disgracing the family by mixing with someone like you—he called you trash, I lost my mind. He said I had to end it, or he would. His way. So, I decided to end him my way?—"

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I didn't get a chance, I had to leave."

"So, you just disappeared? Left me to think you were dead, or that you ran off because you didn't want me anymore. You fucking broke my heart Declan, wrecked my entire life too."

"It was the only way I knew to save you."

Her eyes fill with tears. "And in doing so, you ruined me."

I want to touch her again, to pull her into my arms and erase the years between us. But I know she won't let me.

"I'm sorry," I say. "For everything. But I'm here now, and I'm not leaving again."

She wipes away a tear. "You can't just waltz back into our lives, Declan."

"I couldn't waltz if I tried, but I am in your life. You can't keep him from me."

"We're not yours."

"You've always been mine. And that boy upstairs—he's mine too. Whether you like it or not."

Her eyes flash with anger, fear and just a glimmer of desire. I can't tell anymore. Seven years has dulled my ability to read her.

"I should check on Conor," she says.

"Maeve." I catch her arm. "Tell him who I am. Tonight. He deserves to know."

She pulls away. "You don't get to decide what he deserves, not yet. When he's ready I will tell him."

"The Russians didn't leave us that luxury. There isn’t always time, tell him please."

A noise from upstairs makes us both look up. Conor stands at the top of the stairs.

"Russians?" he asks.

"Go back to your room," Maeve tells him.

"Are they the bad men who broke our windows?"

"Yes, they are. But I'm going to take care of them."

Conor looks at me, his small face so much like mine it hurts. "How? Will they get detention too?"

"That's grown-up business," Maeve interrupts.

"But—"

"Conor, please."

He turns and disappears back down the hall.

"I need to go," I tell Maeve. "Stay here. Stay safe."

"What if you don't come back?"

"I'll come back. We’re not done talking."

I grab my jacket and keys, pausing at the door. "There's a gun in the kitchen drawer. Third one down. You know how to use it?"

She nods, face pale. "My boyfriend taught me in high school, remember."

"Good. Don't hesitate if someone gets in."

I leave before I can change my mind, before I can give in to the urge to stay and never let them out of my sight again.

I punch Cormac's number into my phone.

"We need to talk," I say when he answers.

"Where have you been? You disappeared from the wake."

"I've been busy finding out I have a son."

Silence on the line.

"Meet me at Quinn's in twenty minutes," he finally says.

I hang up and start the car. I fled Dublin once to protect Maeve. This time, I am staying right here.

No one threatens my family and lives.

The underground fighting taught me many things. How to take a punch. How to deliver one with lethal precision. How to put a man down and make sure he stays there.

I'll put those skills to use. For Maeve. For Conor.