Page 14 of Single Mom's Undoing

“What are we talking about?”

“Six to eight, if he’s lucky.” I fight back tears.

“Then why waste a single second still pondering whether or not you should take our job offer?”

I bite my lower lip. His gaze lingers on it. I can almost hear his thoughts because they echo my own. Sooner or later, we’ll crash into each other again, and I’m terrified of that prospect. I know once it happens, I will have no strength left to pull away.

If I stay, the truth will haunt me until I let it out.

And it will destroy everything.

“Okay,” I finally concede. “I’ll take the job—on a temporary basis.”

“To start,” Carter adds.

I take a moment to gaze upon their faces. They look so different, yet, in character, they’re so much alike. Carter is the blond-haired giant with a heart of gold and a will made of steel. Jace is a shadow that eyes me with the kind of hunger that has me wondering what it would be like to let him in. And Damon, ever the pacifier, is such a kind man with the strength of a lion.

No wonder Stephan adored them.

No wonder I fell for them long before I was willing to admit that I felt something.

“Jodie,we need some ground rules here,” I tell my friend as I put my coat on.

“For the last time, I’m sorry,” she says, leaning against the living room doorframe. Her arms are crossed, one eye on Matty, who’s half-asleep on the sofa, watchingBlueyon TV. “I had your best interest at heart. Plus, they kind of bullied me into it.”

I give her a warm smile. “I know, but I really wasn’t ready to deal with them yet.”

“You did, though. And you got a job.”

“It’s temporary.”

Jodie is a few years older than me. Her brown hair is always pulled into a tight ponytail, and her shirts are always a half size smaller, hugging her hourglass figure in all the right ways. I wish I had her body confidence—I’m more comfortable in oversized tees—and it’s only gotten worse since I gave birth to Matty.

“Honey, you need to learn to let other people help you,” Jodie says. “I get it. You were Wonder Woman in Portland. You handled yourself honorably and you provided for Matty. But you need help now. His condition is getting worse,” she adds, lowering her voice so my son doesn’t hear us. “You’re running out of time, and you can’t let whatever happened in the past stand in the way of your future or Matty’s future.”

“You’re right. I guess I’ve gotten so used to being in constant survival mode that I no longer recognize the comfort of real friends. I’m sorry.”

“Nothing to be sorry about. Just let me help. Let Carter and the guys help.”

I give her a terrified look. “He’s going to figure it out, eventually.”

“And that’s exactly why you should tell him,” she says.

Jodie is the only person in the entire town who knows who Matty’s father is. I’ve yet to tell her the truth about what happened that night with my brother, though, for her own safety. There are moments when I still manage to convince myself that I might get through it all without ever having to tell the truth. But then my conscience returns with enough guilt to make me want to puke.

“I’ll figure it out,” I reply. “I’ll figure out a way to tell Carter about Matty, about the night I left, about everything.”

“I’d love to hear that story, too, when you’re ready.”

“Honestly, I hope I never have to tell it. But life has a funny way of constantly proving me wrong so…” I exhale sharply and give Jodie a quick hug. “Thanks for doing this. It’s almost Matty’s bedtime, but you can let him stay up a little bit later, if you want. I won’t be gone long.”

“Where are you going, exactly?”

“There’s something I need to do for my own peace of mind. There’s a place I need to revisit, to think.”

“We’ll be here,” Jodie says.

A half hour later, I’m standing outside Mondy’s Diner.